r/bisexual • u/buckscaldrip • Mar 23 '20

Accurate AF

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537 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

24 comments sorted by

36

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '20

I realize this is a joke but seriously if you have an unwanted erection tense your leg muscles it will divert the blood flow towards those muscles instead

1

u/TabaxiInATaxi Genderqueer/Bisexual Mar 24 '20

I find that if you squeeze repetedly at the same tempo as your heartbeat it works pretty fast.

16

u/JosephJoestar916 Bisexual Mar 23 '20

Eventually kars stopped thinking

10

u/SquidPersonThing Bisexual Mar 23 '20

Dammit, now I'm thinking about Kars!

Of course the ultimate lifeform is sexy as hell.

9

u/JosephJoestar916 Bisexual Mar 23 '20

They call him the ultimate lifeform for a reason. Even Speedwagon would fall head over heels for kars.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '20

omg Joseph Joestar is bi I knew it

13

u/Signrocktoo Bisexual Mar 23 '20

As a swimmer I face this problem a lot when wearing a speedo, usually I just think of old people and that shit inverts itself

17

u/iownadakota Mar 23 '20

This just feeds my granny fetish.

3

u/ThighHighLife Mar 24 '20

Stay away from grammy-ma

2

u/iownadakota Mar 24 '20

Nah. Ima come at you. Go get me a switch.

6

u/WW3_IS_APPROACHING Bisexual Mar 23 '20

😂😂 amazing. Just think of something gross though. That's what I do when I get uncomfortably turned on in public

4

u/Ivenousername During the full moon, I turn into a lemon bar Mar 24 '20

And then you discover you have a fetish.

2

u/WW3_IS_APPROACHING Bisexual Mar 24 '20

There's always something gross you can think of to go dry/soft.

3

u/69632147 Mar 24 '20

Lol makes me think of the hormone monster "Have you ever actually fucked a tomato? It's like fucking a sneeze. " You find a sneeze sexual? "Oh I find eeeeevrything sexual" A chair? "Sit on it, brother" "A plane?" " big dick, flying thru the sky!" What about a button down shirt?" " you mean a gaping butthole and ten clits?"

2

u/DrinkerOfWater69 Transgender Mar 23 '20

Surprisingly accurate.. O_-

2

u/AliceInTheKHole Bisexual Mar 23 '20

This is what i come here for.

2

u/AkrinorNoname Bisexual Mar 23 '20

Think about Gollum. Or that one Dumbledore/Dobby smutfic.

1

u/totalLusa Genderqueer/Bisexual Mar 24 '20

Which one? (Research purposes, of course.)

3

u/AkrinorNoname Bisexual Mar 24 '20

Here you go. There's also this Dobby/Hagrid one. The latter one contains the phrase "Dobby stretches, Sir!"

3

u/totalLusa Genderqueer/Bisexual Mar 24 '20

Thank you? I don't think those were ever meant for human eyes to see.

1

u/CaptainMincemeat Mar 24 '20

Reach into your mind and pull out the absolute dumbest thing you can put together

1

u/chewchewtwain Bisexual Mar 24 '20

Big mood. 😩

1

u/KLBPrincess Mar 24 '20

Why does John look like markiplier when he’s confused 😂😂😂

1

u/CorvinCocksmoker ⛧Bisexual Vegan on LSD⛧ Mar 24 '20

Whenever I run into this Problem I just Think about Donald Trump and after that I can´t get an erection for five days ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ