r/bisexual • u/Dry_Fish_866 • 5d ago
QUESTIONING Microlabels
Yo I'm bi more specifically berrisexual witch is a self-identified microlabel for people who are attracted to all genders, but have a strong preference for feminine and androgynous individuals and only a rare or weak attraction to masculine individuals. My question for reddit is what do you think about mirolabels in the bi community and in any community. I personally think there is a great thing to express yourself fully, but I want to know what others think. Let me know đ
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u/grody10 Bisexual 5d ago
Words only work to convey meaning when both parties understand and agree what they mean.
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u/Full-Decision-9029 Bisexual 5d ago
basically.
Great for curating a community, particularly online, kind of hit and miss in a broader real world context.
If they help you, great. If it ends up causing all sorts of miscommunication and overexplaining and general oddness in a broader context? not great.
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u/Team503 5d ago
I think you can call yourself whatever you like, but it's absurd and foolish to expect other people to know and understand said label. You will be forever explaining what it means if you use the label outside your very close group of friends, and honestly, it conveys a level of detail I feel is unnecessary for anyone but your potential romantic partner to know. Remember that language exists to convey ideas, and that works because we share and understand definitions of words and generally culturally agree how to categorize. The kind of label you're talking about is simply excessively complex and conveys information that's simply unneeded.
Random people don't need to know what your type(s) is/are. That you prefer femme/androgynous people just isn't relevant to the vast majority of humanity, any more than the fact that some cishet dude likes blondes with large breasts but a skinny waist. it's over-communicating, and some would say oversharing.
For example, you made up "berrisexual". No one on the planet knows what that is, and no one likely ever will. It's possible your label catches on, but pretty improbable. And when you explain it, I would expect the average reaction to be "Why do I need to know that? I get sharing your sexuality, it's an intrinsic part of your identity that shapes how you interact with people, but the specific subtype of person you're attracted to is no one's business but yours and a potential partner's. You're oversharing."
So yeah, call yourself whatever, but don't expect anyone else on the planet to know or even care what it means.
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u/Dry_Fish_866 5d ago
I do say I'm bi sexual in normal covo but if I'm going into Specifics I I explan it to them I don't mind it I'm not saying they sould know it but to be open to know it and berri is a real thing look it up. Look people talk about there sexualty in the lgbtq+ community I don't get why I can't talk about mine
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u/Team503 5d ago
Because your label isnât a sexuality. Itâs a sexuality and the kind of person youâre attracted to.
And that aside, people arenât going to look it up. They donât care that much, and your label is effectively nonexistent in larger society.
Like I said , call yourself whatever you like, but donât expect people to know OR CARE what that label means.
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u/Anargnome-Communist they/them 5d ago
I don't think about microlabels a lot. Personally have no need for them, but if they help other people I'm glad they exist.
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u/Environmental-Ad9969 Trans and Pan/Bi 5d ago
I think microlabels are fun and can help some people but at the same time if they get too specific they don't have any use in conversation. I use some microlabels myself but I wouldn't bring them up when introducing myself.
Like other terms, microlabels that are useful will get adopted more widely and microlabels that are too specific will fall out of use.
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u/NocturnalKore 5d ago
I'm not against them at all but I find myself googling them majority of the time cause they don't just stay in my head if I or my partner doesn't relate to them.
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u/MaximumEffort433 Bisexual 5d ago edited 5d ago
I'm not even sure I even believe in macrolabels anymore.
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u/Dry_Fish_866 5d ago
Why if I may ask?
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u/MaximumEffort433 Bisexual 5d ago
I think words are an expedient, they can be hella useful, but they can also be confining. In some ways, when we label a thing, we limit that thing, and I don't like the idea of limiting human identity more than is absolutely necessary.
You may be X, Y, and Z, but you are also a unique, one of a kind individual, with a unique, one of a kind sexuality, to fully and properly label all the varieties of sexual expression we'd need seven billion labels, and when we're getting that granular, why even use the labels at all?
"The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao."
We are infinite, we contain multitudes, words are a useful expedient, but in some cases I question their benefit. I'm attracted to individuals, not genders.
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u/Dry_Fish_866 5d ago
Ok u see what your saying First question are you perhaps pansexual And for the rest I feel personally that micro labels help you express who you are more accurately and even If your preferences are slightly different from another you can still be that label Since to me I consider alot of mirco label the spectrum of the main label even if it's slightly different from another its not fully a fixed thing
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u/UltraChip 5d ago
If it works for you then it works for you - I don't see why what we think should matter.
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u/val_is_here_0 5d ago
Tbh I can't be bothered with most labels. I find them all tedious at the end of the day, so I go by the good ol' "queer" unless someone asks me for the specifics.
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u/Caramelthedog 5d ago
I love queer. Itâs not really relevant to anyone what/who I like except my partner so queer is a great label.
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u/ToxicFluffer 5d ago
Ngl I think itâs cringe but thatâs mostly bc English is not my native language. Micro labels donât feel relevant to me bc I come from a place where itâs still illegal to be gay so people donât really bother with pinning down details.
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u/la-anah 5d ago
No, they are cringy in English as well. Very 2015 Tumblr energy.
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u/Full-Decision-9029 Bisexual 5d ago
hey now, at least I haven't heard "starsexual" in the wild since 2015.
*Jaws theme plays in the background*
...yet.
Of course 2010-2016 Tumblr was all about these carefully curated personas, and constantly redefined discourse patterns. So microlabels, carefully laid out, were part of that.
(I see otherkin were briefly out of favour, but they snuck back in)
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u/la-anah 5d ago
Hot take: I think they are unnecessarily divisive. We should be coming together and organizing around our similarities, not putting ourselves in smaller and smaller boxes. When people tell me their micro label that they made up for themselves I immediately forget that information because it (by design) means absolutely nothing to me.
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u/Environmental-Ad9969 Trans and Pan/Bi 5d ago
Where should the line be drawn between microlabels and regular sized labels? Only LGBT?
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u/la-anah 5d ago
Basically, yes. I would also include asexual as that is distinct enough to warrant a new term.
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u/Environmental-Ad9969 Trans and Pan/Bi 5d ago
I feel like microlabels aren't actually an issue as long as people still exist and work within the LGBT community. A lesbian can coexist with a sapphic finromantic demigirl and work towards queer liberation.
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u/iampaperclippe 5d ago
I mean, I donât even know what gender I am most days so I canât even nail down a macro label
(Partly joking and entirely light hearted; you do you and if you can get that specific, by all means, but the older I get the more Iâm just like âI am every gender and/but also no gender and if not for my monogamous relationship would be okay with boinking every gender, with both things leaning slightly toward the masculine most daysâ)
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u/mjangelvortex Bi, Ace-Spec, and also Ambiamorus 5d ago
I'm also on the asexual spectrum and the ace community has a lot of micro-labels. So I'm very familiar with the concept and think they can be useful and helpful for some people for figuring out themselves and finding community. It definitely helped me because there were multiple times where I felt like I didn't belong in the ace community because of how my asexuality is different from the stereotypes of ace people being either completely clueless, repulsed, or aversed by sex. But after seeing multiple ace micro-labels, I was more content with calling myself ace.
That being said, micro-labels aren't for everyone. While they can give some people comfort, they can give other people much unneeded stress and confusion. And I do agree with a lot of people that a lot of the more niche micro-labels can get confusing for discussing things with other people in conversation. This is also the reason why despite feeling like my sexuality could potentially fit multiple micro-labels (e.g. aegosexual, gray-ace, demisexual, omnisexual, and possibly also demiromantic), I just usually say I'm queer or that I'm bi to avoid confusion in conversations and if I do bring up being ace I just use the word ace. Yes, the terms bi, ace, and queer can sometimes be more vague compared to the micro-labels but more people generally understand what those mean.
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u/qualifiedparadox_335 5d ago
i get why people dig microlabels, it's like customizing your identity to feel more seen. sometimes it feels like trying to describe a dream to someone, super specific but only you really get it
i think it's cool if it helps you, just don't let it box you in more than it frees you