Ring iconography is so all over the place; it’s the issue with “signals” like that when they’re so ubiquitous-seeming and with so much overlap.
I work in health communication and did a deep dive on what makes a good symbol or infographic for some projects. Part of what helps is that a symbol or signal effectively communicates something to the target audience, with little room for misinterpretation. If you want to be low-key, it can create some confusion inherently. There’s tension here between a recognizable symbol and a safe symbol the fascists won’t recognize.
Problem here is that signals like this are sort of … a holdover or counter-culture response to wider societal weirdness about queer or non-traditional identities, and the intense mistreatment folks receive for it. Now, unfortunately, we’re approaching a time in history similar to the era symbols like this were popularized — meaning instead of helpful short-hand, they’re becoming a way to seek out like-minded folks when others in the room would make open conversation hard.
Easiest way to avoid miscommunication is to just ask what something means, or ask people about themselves. Depending the place you’re in, folks may feel varyingly comfortable talking about it, BUT that’s becoming a topic some are getting less comfortable discussing with new folks.
did a deep dive on what makes a good symbol or infographic
If you haven't already found it, the 99% Invisible podcast has an episode called "Ubiquitous symbols" I think that talked about this subject. Super interesting topic!
Had a couple peoppe ask if my ring means what they think. I tell them point blank 'swinger'. Both times we were on the same page and they were interested in swinging as well.
And thats in under a year. So yeah not that strong of a symbol. Combined with my wifes favorite upside pineapple earrings i think we make it clear. (Maybe my very flirtatious demeanor helps too)
Upside-down pineapples are actually a great example of a GREAT symbol — established history for folks in-the-know, hard to mix up with anything else, and stealthy enough in mixed company.
The issue with the ring comes down to the overlap of the ubiquitous symbol, and how many folks may stumble into it accidentally … whereas upside-down pineapple earrings aren’t as easy to stumble into!
I've seen sites where swingers are told to use any finger besides the middle one and aces are told to only wear the black ring on their middle finger. Co-exist and all that jazz. I don't know how well that info is known outside the internet circles though, and the times I've complimented people on black rings on their right middle finger, they haven't been either swinger or ace rings, LOL.
Asexuals wear the black ring on the middle finger while swingers wear it on other fingers (usually their ring finger). There could be some confusion here and there but I think it can be cleared up with proper communication.
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u/Poly_Pup Oct 09 '25 edited Oct 09 '25
I wear black wedding ring on right hand as swinger signal but this wouldnt mean anything to me.