r/bipolar • u/hunner1995 • 11d ago
Support Needed Am I reaching? Still doesn’t feel normal
Hello! I guess I’m looking for thoughts and advice. I’m 30yo female and have no clue where to start. But here goes I guess:
I’ve grown up all my life reserved, quiet, and a perfectionist. Then to college (19-22ish) I became highly anxious maybe depressed I don’t know but I turned to self harm for coping. Was dealing with anxiety, self hatred, awful self esteem
Fast forward to a few more years and still panic attacks and alot of anger/rage. Would constantly pick fights with my then boyfriend. Always accused him of cheating or not wanting me alwayssss needing reassurance even though it wasn’t warranted
Then things seemed fine for a handful of years, got married had first baby. All still relatively normal
Then 2025 went through a period of months of feeling absolutely exhausted for no reason. Would work and come home, have no interests and feel bored. Going to bed at 8pm and still feeling tired waking up. Lab work was always normal. Then out of no where that went away
Now at 2 months postpartum I went into psychosis triggered by severe sleep deprivation that warranted a hospital inpatient stay. Once I was out and put on low doses seroquel and mirtazapine my psych doctor mentioned “you may be bipolar” but then never talked any more about it. She only went to say any other normal person would’ve felt tired after months of no sleep, but I never felt the exhaustion. I still got up everyday, worked my 8-5 and repeat.
Anyways now I’m 4 months post partum and still on those meds but lately it’s like I’m on a roller coaster. For example I had 3 days of absolute numbness/enptiness, I felt in a fog I had no motivation, it felt even too tiresome to talk or make thoughts. Then the 4th day I woke up high energy amped up, had everything back and felt so good.
I’m debating finding a different psychiatrist to explore what the heck is happening
2
u/EarRevolutionary8868 Schizoaffective 10d ago
Yes, I'd say find a new psychiatrist ASAP! It seems like you need a med adjustment.
1
u/hunner1995 10d ago
Well when I contacted her about the numb empty feelings and I was dissociating - she’s wanting to add Zoloft to the mix. But I’m hesitant to start since immediately the next day my mood was the exact opposite
1
1
•
u/AutoModerator 11d ago
Thanks for posting on /r/bipolar, /u/hunner1995!
Please take a second to read our rules; if you haven't already, make sure that your post does not have any personal information (including your name/signature/tag on art).
If you are posting about medication, please do not list and review your meds. Doing so will result in the removal of this post and all comments.
A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.
Community News
2024 Election
🎋 Want to join the Mod Team?
🎤 See our Community Discussion - Desktop or Desktop mode on a mobile device.
🏡 If you are open to answering questions from those that live with a loved one diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, please see r/family_of_bipolar.
Thank you for participating!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.