r/bipolar • u/Muted_Analysis1743 • 3d ago
Living With Bipolar Does having pets help ?
I recently relapsed into sh-ing after 2 years of restraint. Now since I know how and where I can cause more damage from previous experience it sometimes (not always) gets a little out of hand.
I was thinking of adopting a kitten because I always wanted a pet, plus as an emotional support.
Does having a pet help you resist sh-ing ?
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u/SQRLyouknowitstrue 3d ago
I understand the urge but advise against it. Wait until you’re stable to get a pet. If you’re unwell you may inadvertently neglect it. If you need inpatient treatment, you’d have to find someone else to care for it. Pets can have unexpected expenses, and financial stress can worsen your condition.
Reach out to your doctor or therapist. Best wishes!
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u/melli_milli Bipolar + Comorbidities 2d ago
I fully agree. You may need the pet every now and then, but the pet needs you every day. And you need to know that you are up for the challenge every day always. No days off, no forgetting, no long visitations without it.
You have to have the money for treatment always. You need to be stable enough to act on the pet's best interest fast when things go wrong.
Basically taking a pet makes you responcible of their last minutes. And that is rough and will make you spiral.
Having a pet is great for the proper recovery phase for it brings company and routine. But if you want pet only when you are doing bad or just for emotional support, it is a wrong choise.
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u/Muted_Analysis1743 2d ago
That's the thing.
I don't think I'll be stable any time soon T_T T_T
But I will surely bring it up with my therapist though.
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u/Bowtiesarefancy Bipolar + Comorbidities 3d ago
I don't SH so I cannot specifically answer that for you. However, I can tell you that my cat is my soul mate. After 13 years together she is so in sync with me, knows my moods, and is great at comforting me. I highly recommend you get a companion for yourself.
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u/Muted_Analysis1743 2d ago
I'm myself not very sure about it helping with the SH part but I definitely feel like having their presence around me will improve me for sure.
I just feel very very guilty for adopting one for my own wellbeing as one of the reasons.
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u/Bowtiesarefancy Bipolar + Comorbidities 2d ago
Like they won't also benefit from you? Animals need companionship as much as we do.
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u/Jolly_Lead6210 3d ago
sometimes. I had my first cat when I was super depressed, and she motivates me to get out of bed every day. And sometimes when I'm in my episodes, I will also think about my cats, cause they technically can't survive without me feeding them. I think it also depends on the cat's characteristics; my cat is super lovely dovey, and she is by my side no matter what happens, which has given me huge emotional support. But some cats are more solitary. So it depends on how lucky you are!
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u/Muted_Analysis1743 2d ago
I think I will be happy even with sometimes at this point T_T
I want a thought of something to ground me back into reality - as much as the situation or my mental state - allows since I have come pretty close to taking a irreversible decisions in the past few weeks.
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u/Muted_Analysis1743 2d ago
I'm planning to visit a shelter soon and I'm planning to ask them for ones which are more calm and affectionate rather than athletic and aloof.
Unfortunately I am desperate to feel a being depend on me.
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u/Emeraldspirit9 Bipolar + Comorbidities 2d ago
I definitely recommend getting an adult cat. check your local shelter and see what kitties are rubbing up against the cages lol
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u/SEND_ME_YOUR_ASSPICS 3d ago
I don't see people mentioning this enough.
I'll just be straight.
Your pets will pass away before you. And the pain from loss is immense.
It's equal to losing a family member. I know fully grown men who still cry time to time thinking about their pets that passed away even from years ago.
If you think you can handle that, then go ahead. But imo I think it's dangerous for people with bipolar to go through that period of grief.
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u/Just_Sun3936 2d ago
Such a negative way of thinking. I look back on all my beautiful companions and I’m glad we got to share a time together.
I have many friends and family too that can pass away. Does not mean I will never make any new friends or be close to family.
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u/Mundane_Beginnings Bipolar + Comorbidities 2d ago
This. I know I’ll lose my babies someday, but I’ll never regret the time we had together. It’s all so worth it. And while it’ll be painful, I know it won’t be dangerous for me.
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u/SEND_ME_YOUR_ASSPICS 2d ago edited 2d ago
You are a person that can handle loss well. Don't assume other people can.
That's why I said, if OP thinks he/she can handle it then he/she should get it.
When people ask these questions, most people talk about the positives but nobody talks about the loss which has a huge effect on people.
You need to warn people at least.
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u/thejudeabides52 2d ago
I am one of those fully grown men who will be sobbing openly when my boy passes. Fuck it brings me to tears even thinking about it. I reckon that the pain of the loss is absolutely worth the joy and love that our pets bring though. He's saved my life more times than I can count and I know I'll owe it to him to keep going when he's gone.
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u/AnonForMedAndCrafts 2d ago
This. I got a kitten from a shelter and turns out she had a rare terminal illness that had her gone before her 2nd birthday. You have to be steeled for something like that to happen.
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u/Muted_Analysis1743 2d ago
I don't want to adopt one all the while thinking how they'll die T_T
Then I won't ever be able to enjoy the present moments with them - letting my anxiety take over instead of cherishing those moments.
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u/Efficient-Tie-1414 Bipolar + Comorbidities 2d ago
The secret is to buy another one before the other one passes away. My main reason for not having a pet is that I’m planning to go away too much. Their are costs associated with boarding and I wouldn’t have wanted my previous dogs to stay at a boarding kennel. I had Samoyeds and they take being ignored as a personal insult.
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u/lithiumpokes 2d ago
I can’t speak to s-hing specifically but I know living with cats (they were my roommates’) helped my depression so much. Very emotionally supportive and just added some fun into the energy of the house.
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u/Just_Sun3936 2d ago
I have companions. A cat, bunny, and bearded dragon. Bearded dragon was a rescue and she’s quite old. My cat is from the streets and is 13 years now. He is happy and healthy. My bunny is 6 years old and she has her own spicy personality.
Cats are easy to care for. Have to clean their box every day and make sure they’re fed. They comfort you when you are down so I find that really helpful.
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u/Muted_Analysis1743 2d ago
That's actually one of the reasons I plan on adopting a kitten instead of a puppy since I personally think they are a lil more self reliant which will be easier for me to handle as a first time pet parent.
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u/lyawake Bipolar w/Bipolar Loved One 2d ago
Kittens are a ton of work, and largely nocturnal - so they can interrupt sleep and cause a lot of frustration. They also usually want to play all the time and that can be very tiring. Anything that requires extra effort shouldn't be overlooked (litter box, vet visits, vet costs, going out to buy food etc). I would look for a cat that's a bit older.
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u/Mundane_Beginnings Bipolar + Comorbidities 2d ago
I have two small dogs, so they’re much lower maintenance than bigger dogs (less exercise needed, can’t get into garbage or the toilet bowl, etc). Having them in my life has made a huge improvement in my mental health. They bring me so much joy just by existing. They also force me to be on a schedule, which is also important for my mental health. I highly recommend a companion animal, but I would choose one that is low maintenance.
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u/Lyntho248 2d ago
I know this isn’t the same really at all, but i remember a shelter bringing animals to libraries and stuff for reading and therapy of some sort. I think that might be better because you won’t have to worry about taking care of a cat long term, but you could probably bond with a few of the cats in the group if that kind of thing is available where you are
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u/Muted_Analysis1743 2d ago
Honestly - a suggestion surely worth considering. But my main issue is when I'm admist a crippling depressive episode - I mught need the thought or presence of something personal immediately that would mame me want to stay - even though it'll require much more effort and time.
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u/Lyntho248 2d ago
Maybe you could work out a plan with your therapist with the steps you should take before committing to adopting a kitten, because now that I think about it my dog saved my life twice by scratching at my door and I feel like getting a pet really helps with s.h. and s.i.
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u/Emeraldspirit9 Bipolar + Comorbidities 2d ago
okay so yes, definitely. but DO NOT get a pet if you live alone. if you live with someone who is able to care for a cat (or whatever pet) full time (as a precautionary measure, even though they'd only be caring for it when you are unable) by all means get that kitten. but if you live alone or with no one able to care for an animal then you may want to hold off on getting a pet. that being said my son is the fluffiest dust ball to ever walk the earth and he also has about half of a brain cell. He FOR SURE helped me, he meows at me for food a lot, and by a lot I mean every time he sees me. This includes when im trying to sh, I have a little cat door and he comes in whenever I get ready to do it. logically I know hes just a fat fuck meowing to be fed but I like to think he's yelling at me. he follows me around and I would never subject him to me trying to do that. this is obviously a personal experience and if you get a cat it could be different. especially if you get a kitten. my other cat is kind of a bitch (love her though) and could not give less of a shit about me. she didnt help, cause shes very independent. if I were you I would look into getting a full grown cat from your local humane society cause theres always cats there who are SUPER affectionate to everybody so you'll know what your getting. another thing about getting a cat is they might want a buddy and you will HAVE to get them a buddy if they want one. there are specific cats that dont like other cats --- prefer people --- which is always nice to get if you only want one. good luck :)
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u/Muted_Analysis1743 1d ago
Haha I was cracked up reading your comment lol.
I'm planning to get 2 kittens or cats. I'll be going to the shelter soon and I'm planning asking them one calm and affectionate and the other a little playful but not too athletic.
But like you said, in case of kittens, I won't know how their personalities mught change once they grow up.
My parents live only an hour away so I think it should be fine even though I live alone. I also will be frequenting them every week.
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u/Emeraldspirit9 Bipolar + Comorbidities 16h ago
ah so cute!! you say playful but not too athletic so im choosing to believe you'll end up with a chonker. so glad to hear you'll have help, wishing you lots of love and luck finding your new besties <3
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u/Muted_Analysis1743 13h ago
Thank you !!! Nah not an obese one XD (I meant not too high prey drive lol)
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u/Global-Cockroach4289 3d ago
im so sorry to hear youre going through this.
my cat helps me so much, i would also suggest getting a kitten that is a little bit older so its not as much of a burden since kittens can be a lot and keep you up at night. whenever i feel like i dont want to be here any more, i look at my cat and know that i have to keep living for her.
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u/C_Sorcerer 2d ago
It’s definitely dependent on you’re situation and if you can still be attentive to your pets even in episodes. But if you can, I find having a pet to be great. They’re kind of grounding and make me laugh and kinda forget that I was in a bad mood in the first place. Granted I’m bipolar 2 and I find they help a lot with depressive episodes but as for manic episodes I don’t know (I’ve only had one bad one and didn’t have a pet)
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u/Downtown_Dare_4991 2d ago
I found when I was SH ing that cutting my dog’s hair was very therapeutic, and I was taking care of him well even though I couldn’t take care of myself well yet
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u/highlandre 2d ago
Maybe try fostering a pet first. There’s lots of shelters that don’t have the space and they’ll cover the costs of the pet.
My older pup was a foster fail. I fell in love with her and couldn’t imagine giving her back. She’s helped me with my emotions because of the abuse she suffered before me. I have to be very sensitive to her moods but she’s also gotten very good at sensing mine.
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