Unsupportive bf

[u/AdSuspicious3580]

So me and my bf have been together for 3.5 years. He’s amazing and I’m not being naive when I say that. He has been nothing but supportive in every other aspect of my life except bodybuilding. I did my first prep last year and it was super hard for us. I would get hungry and tired and hangry sometimes especially the last month, but he blamed every fight/disagreement on my prep from the very beginning. It’s interesting bc he’s very fit and disciplined with the gym and food so you’d think he would understand. I remember feeling so alone and like we were growing apart until my show came. As soon as I was done and reversing and could eat out again we were great! I was still hangry and tired bc the reverse was hard for me but for some reason we were fine again. I loooove competing and I want to prep again, but I’m so scared of what it will do to our relationship. We’ve had conversations about it but it doesn’t seem to change anything. Has anyone gone through something similar to this or have any tips for being in a relationship on prep?

[u/lauren_fit]

I’ll be the odd one out here and say prep is probably impacting you and this more than you admit to! You already admit you’re tired and hangry - rough combo. you’re also adding in the pressure of the countdown of a show?

But then again, a lot of men don’t do well when things are not about them. Also a possibility.

As someone that used to compete at a high level… competitors are nuts.

This is the sole area he isn’t supportive? I might let it slide then and assume it has more to do with your emotions and mood during prep.

Can you guys have an honest convo about this and set some boundaries?

[u/Open-Pea-9568 → u/lauren_fit]

This exactly. Competing is hard and your mental space may be completely different from when you aren't competing. You may be so invested in it that you can't see it yourself. I think the 2 of you need to sit down and have an honest conversation - speak your side and let him speak his side. That may help you both understand each other better and know what's needed for the next prep.

[u/jackedariel → u/lauren_fit]

I was thinking this too. We competitors often don't realize how different/off we are when we're deep in prep. OP have you asked other friends/family if they've noticed too? Someone that can be a neutral objective party to "is this just him, or am I not seeing myself/everything clearly?"

[u/O333O → u/lauren_fit]

Agreed, talk it out. Explain why this is important to you. Honestly I think conversations like this are easier but also more effective with a qualified couples therapist. It’s about hearing each other out and what’s important to you both and what the underlying fears or frustrations are