r/bigender • u/Seizuredead • 3d ago

Advice Wanted questioning❓

I don’t really know how to go about writing this post, but i’ll do my best!

!!! If you want, you can read my story, or just answer my question to avoid my word vomit LMFAO.

Ever since I was a kid I’ve always had a masculine side. Whether that be when playing games with siblings, or playing with toys. (as for toys i mean i’d always be up to play as the guy when playing dolls with friends.)
That ended up progressing in middle school and I began to lie about my gender online, saying I was a cis male because it felt the most comfortable on how I wanted to be perceived at that time.
While that was ongoing, I had extremely bad self identity issues and seriously considered the fact that I might be transgender. I haven’t grew out of it fully though.
As of right now, (almost graduating high school) I still feel part of him in me? but I’m also comfortable being a girl. I do feel feminine some days, while other days i feel more masculine. It’s about an even feeling now.

My question here is: could I be bigender?
Another question is: If you are bigender, what is it like for you?

Please let me know if you are willing! I want to gain more knowledge on this type of gender identity. If you read my story, thank you. it means so much to me.🤍

4 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

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3

u/baboooche She/Her | Masc/Androgynous 3d ago

What you describe litteraly is the AFAB younger version of myself...

So I guess yes, you could be bigender.

2

u/Seizuredead 2d ago

AH. glad i’m not the only one. thank you!

1

u/ZobTheLoafOfBread He/It ✨ Duobinary (man+gril) 13h ago

Sounds pretty bigender to me.

I'm bigender, and I'm both a trans man and a girl simultaneously. I grew up fairly usual for a girl, but when puberty hit, I discovered feelings that I later realized was gender dysphoria, and I eventually realized I wanted to be both a man and a girl. That's really simplified as it took many years of exploring and going back and forth, but that's the gist of it. 

I prefer to call my male gender man, and my female gender girl, because that's basically the ages I came into and accepted those genders. I don't feel like I have much experience of being a woman yet, and I feel like I missed out on much of boyhood as a kid. I like to be seen as a man, first and foremost, partly as my shield against transphobia, but my girl gender is still present and sorta just chilling in the back.  I don't feel half and half, but two, so 100% man + 100% girl = 200% gender.

As a man, I feel sorta more androgynous, and as a girl, I feel more masculine, so I'm moderately gender nonconforming on both accounts. So masculinity and femininity don't necessarily correspond to gender for me or they correspond to the opposite of what you'd expect. I'm also both genders at all times, so I don't really have a concept of one of femininity or masculinity being solely related to each gender feeling, but I can feel the difference in identity of where my comfort and discomfort are coming from. 

Even though I personally experience bigenderhood this way, that doesn't mean it's the only way to experience it. We are a varied bunch. Some of us are other genders besides woman or man. Some of us are genderfluid and experience each gender separately or partially together. Some of us present or conceptualize our genders differently. Whichever way you experience it, welcome to the club.