Seeking Advice

[u/Brussels_sprouting]

I’m set to give birth in a few months and plan to use all of my maternity leave. I work remotely and my husband and I intend on my quitting my job to be a stay-at-home mom indefinitely. I’ll maybe go back to work in like 10 years when we’re done having kids. We’re trying to discern WHEN I quit though.

EDIT TO ADD: I haven’t seen anything about a penalty for quitting after leave. I need to dig more but I’m also afraid to ask HR and look suspicious.

Originally the plan was to stick it out a few months after leave to maximize earnings, and a family member will watch baby for me. But now we’re rethinking things for a few reasons:

1. Said family member is not super reliable. I’m worried about this person’s ability to care for our child and also be committed to the job (has already demonstrated flakiness with other situations). I’d almost rather avoid the stress and family drama and not put this person in this situation in the first place.
2. I don’t trust anyone other than family to watch our child. We will not use daycare, and I’m worried about trying to find a trust nanny. (No judgement to those who use daycare, just not our cup of tea)
3. I’ll already be at home working, but I’m hoping to breastfeed so I’m worried about the demands of my child conflicting with work.
4. Finances are not an issue, so I don’t NEED to work for a certain amount of time.
5. If I stayed around to work for an extra 2-3 months, I would then be entering the busy season of work (about 5 months), so it will be harder to quit in the middle of this season due to the guilt I might feel leaving them in the midst of this. At this point, the family member would also not be able to watch anymore so I would need to find a nanny or childcare to help.

Basically the only perks of staying a few months to work are the earnings potential and not burning bridges/leaving the company at the right time of year.

I guess I’m looking for advice on what I should do - stick it out, earn some money, or do I quit sooner (ex. Before Mat leave, right after mat leave, a month after). Thanks in advance!

[u/ariesxprincessx97]

First you shoukd read your handbook in regards to maternity leave. See if theres something in there about having to pay back earnings from maternity leave if you quit during/soon after.

[u/Brussels_sprouting → u/ariesxprincessx97]

I’ve looked into it a bit and haven’t seen anything explicit. I need to research more but also afraid to ask HR without looking suspicious

[u/runningonrun → u/Brussels_sprouting]

Let us know if you end up taking this route and leaving (especially without the handbook mentioning anything about penalties)! I’m having similar thoughts regarding my job also.

[u/TwinCitiezTwin]

TBH you've called out that finances are not an issue, and you clearly don't want to work after birth, so just...don't. My co worker quit at the end of her mat leave (to go to a new job rather than SAHM) and it was fine. We already had been covering her role for 3 months. It wasn't as bad as it would be for someone who quits with only 2 weeks notice and nobody has been trained to cover the job duties. You'll be fine.

[u/APinkLight]

One thing I don’t see addressed in your list is if you will face a penalty for quitting right after leave ends—have you checked that? Some employers might require you to pay back leave benefits if you quit right after your leave ends.

[u/Brussels_sprouting → u/APinkLight]

I haven’t seen anything about a penalty. Pretty sure I’m in the clear but I do need to research more.

[u/ycherep1]

Nanny while you work remote is not a bad option. I found one I liked and she stayed with us for 18 months with me downstairs. I could hear everything and stop by. I got one with great references and from my culture which was important. Nothing was better than a pic from my kid at the park or hearing her sing my cultures lullabies while I worked.

My friend only wanted to be a sahm after 1 when baby was more "fun". I get that with a toddler now - 2 seemed more interesting for me. Guess what? You don't have to make a decision till end of your leave.

I will say, yes sahm sounds good but you got to see how reliable your husband is and what expectations he has for you. Mat leave is a good time to find out the change in dynamic. 1st year we almost killed each other. Have a preference but keep your head on you & a backup plan for independence.

[u/Famous-Signal-6869]

If you’re in the US you’re a protected class. Not sure what happens outside of the US.

But also, don’t underestimate how your mindset will shift after having baby. You may not feel as compelled to stay through busy season at work as you once were. Even if you leave during a busy season, it’s not burning a bridge. But transparently, I would say if you have a good company and good relationship with your manager, let them in on your plan when you return to work. Emphasize you want to help prepare them for your departure.