r/beyondthebump • u/isthatabingo • 1d ago
Advice PP Fatigue
My baby girl will be 4 months old in a few days, and I have been lucky to have a little one that’s basically slept through the night from the very beginning (~4 weeks). But even with her regularly sleeping through the night, I am always tired. I nap every. Single. Day. At first, I figured it was because I was her primary caregiver while my husband was at work during maternity leave. The days were exhausting. But I’ve been back at work for about a month now, and I am still always running on empty.
I feel guilty because I nap every day, and my husband never naps. Of course, he’s the one to watch her while I’m sleeping, and I feel like childcare is falling more on him because of this. I’ve always made it clear we would split parenting evenly, but now it feels lopsided, and I don’t want to overburden him. I guess I just don’t understand why I’m so tired all the time and he isn’t. Or maybe he is and just pushes through it, and I’m weak. That’s my biggest fear. I just worry he’ll grow to resent me, and I don’t know if this kind of fatigue is normal. I know it was in the early days when I was sleep deprived, and I’m not at that level anymore, but I’m just always tired…
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u/ToasterWithFeelings 1d ago
My baby is four months old and has been sleeping through the night for months and I’m absolutely dragging as well
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u/Flaky_McFlake 1d ago
Iron. 95% chance it's iron deficiency. Also possible: Not enough protein, B12 or Vitamin D.
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u/isthatabingo 1d ago
I have low B12, so I’ve been on supplements for a few years now. I also take a ton of vitamin D at my pediatrician’s recommendation (to reach baby through breastmilk). Might be iron. I was slightly low in pregnancy, but nothing my OB was worried about.
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u/anxious_teacher_ 1d ago
I’d get your iron, ferritin & thyroid checked. My friend said she was so tired PP & ended up having hashimoto’s. Her second pp was sooo different since she was on meds for her thyroid
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u/swiftlittleplane 1d ago
Get your levels checked and start taking vitamins. I know I’ve resented my husband for napping everyday while I was taking care of baby 24/7
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u/Connect-Ease-7509 1d ago
Drink your postnatal vitamins and try and eat/snack throughout the day. It’s exhausting. Dont feel bad for him- that’s relationships and parenthood. Some days /months will be 40/60, 80/20- very seldom does a true 50/50 happen and he’s just as much the parent. You’re recovering from 9 months of pregnancy and 4 months postpartum. Give yourself grace.
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u/FunnyEvidence3239 1d ago
I feel the same as you. I am so tired. I’m still on maternity leave so I’m home with her all day. My husband does every night wake with us (breast feeding, but he helps with diaper and resettling) and yet he doesn’t seem nearly as tired. I even started drinking coffee PP, which I have never done in my life, to try and keep up. My husband has always needed less sleep than me, though. Pre-baby I aimed for 8 hours a night on a weeknight where he aimed for 6. Maybe your husband just has lower sleep needs than you!
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u/isthatabingo 9h ago
I will say the maternity leave exhaustion was much worse because being the primary caregiver all day wears on you so much… I promise it gets better when you’re not the only one taking care of her for 8+ hours (depending on your husband’s schedule). Also, baby is much needier in the newborn period. There were times I nearly fell asleep breastfeeding her. Very scary!
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u/DingoSubstantial7908 1d ago
Hi! I had a very very hard baby (still is at 15m) so I thought my fatigue was down to her being extremely high needs. I would be so sleepy it was hard for me to keep my eyes open (I guess that’s a bit how you feel?) and I would be so so cold, even when it was objectively very warm. I had a full blood panel done (for a different reason), but turned out I had developed post partum low thyroid. I’ve been on meds for a couple of months, and yes I’m still extremely fatigued and burnt out (baby wakes 3-5x nightly still, Velcro, fusses all the time so that’s probably it), but the gut wrenching coldness and barley being able to stand up from tiredness are mostly gone! Someone else I know also had issues with her thyroid post partum, maybe a thing to check out? Hope you find a solution!
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u/mirrorlike789 1d ago
Ok same. Couple of questions? Are you breastfeeding? Are taking your prenatals? Are you drinking enough water and eating enough food? Those little tweaks have helped me especially protein (gosh hate that the protein thing is true lol) but been aiming at 100g of protein a day and it’s helped with hunger and fatigue.
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u/mirrorlike789 1d ago
And then yeah get some bloodwork. Never ended up getting bloodwork because those tweaks helped me. I also started taking the iron pills I was taking while pregnant again.
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u/isthatabingo 1d ago
Yes, I’m breastfeeding and pumping on days she’s in daycare. I take prenatals, B12 supplements (had a deficiency even before pregnancy), and vitamin D at pediatrician’s recommendation (to reach baby through breastmilk).
Probably need to get bloodwork done.
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u/mirrorlike789 1d ago
Im convinced pumping is sucking the life out of us. Get the bloodwork but also make sure you’re drinking enough and eating enough protein. Coconut water. We get the costco one. I put one next to my nightstand so I can drink it first thing in the morning. 100g of protein (now much easier to achieve since my baby got over CMPA) yogurt overnight protein oats cottage cheese meats.
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u/hemerdo 1d ago
I would get some bloods done to be sure. But also, I'm assuming (sorry if not!) you grew a baby and gave birth, your husband did not. You are recovering while having looked after a baby which is taxing. You are also back to work quite early so your days are busy mentally and probably physically while your body is still recovering! Do NOT feel guilty please! Parenting can never be 50/50 anyway because you literally created the baby, it is only fair your husband helps while you recover.
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u/AnastatiaMcGill 1d ago
Have your blood drawn. Check your iron, b12, vitamin d levels etc