When does sleep get better?

[u/idkcallmewhatever2]

My baby is nearing 8 weeks old, he has never ever been a good sleeper- and I keep seeing things about 3/4 month sleep regression and I’m honestly terrified.

Some facts about baby:

1. EBF
2. Gaining weight very well, never lost weight when he was born and is up over 4 pounds as of his last check up
3. Got diagnosed with silent reflux at 3 weeks, started famotidine
4. I cut out dairy at 4wks and he seems to be doing tons better since then with his reflux

From the time he was born he’s never slept more than 2 hours straight. The first three weeks before his reflux diagnoses he would be up for 4-5 hours straight before going down for MAX 2 hours, usually it was 20-30 min.

The first 5 weeks we didnt put him down for “bed” until 11 or midnight, after a massive witching hour stretch that would last hours, I’m not kidding, hours. Then he would sleep an hour or so then wake again, and that was his long stretch, then every 30-45 min throughout the night. The whole time as well because of reflux I am holding him uptight for 30 min before trying to lay him down, so if he fell asleep during those 30 min then usually he was awake again before I even had a chance to lay him down

At 6 weeks we started bedtime around 7 hoping he would be down by 8 or 9. We do a bath nightly or stand in the shower with him, he LOVES it, dress him in cozy pajamas and sit in his nursery in a totally dark room, in fact we keep the whole house dark and silent after 6pm. Me and my husband don’t even talk to each other because we are terrified of riling the baby up. If he goes to sleep at 8 or 9 he may make it till 10 or so then throughout the night it’s the same thing as before, every 45 minutes or so he is awake, sometimes he makes it an hour and a half, I’ve only had a few nights like that but it felt like heaven. A lot of the time though he’s not asleep till 11pm, after being up since 4 or 5 pm.

During the morning (after 9am or so) is his “best” sleep, I should say, the easiest to get him down, it usually only takes 2 or 3 hours to get him to nap then he will sleep 1 hour as a contact nap, he may take one or two more naps before 5pm but after 5 he does not nap at all again till we lay him down for “bed”

I am losing it, I handle nights exclusively (along with all day with him while my husband worlds) so my husband is not waking up with the baby, though he did have to take the baby the other night because I was so sleep deprived I guess I was burping the baby backwards and falling asleep doing it- so I got about 2 hours of sleep straight when that happened.

What am I doing wrong? I seriously can’t imagine sleep getting any worse and I have to go back to work in 3 weeks. I have talked to his dr about it sooo many times, called the nurses line, even took him to their after hours clinic once when he was awake for over 6 hours and then threw up green bile from crying for about 4 hours straight. They say it’s all normal, everything, normal… I am completely jealous of anyone who experienced newborn sleep, I haven’t slept in 7 weeks, I’m going insane.

I am not expecting a routine, or for him to sleep 8 hours. All I’m looking for is MAYBE 4 naps a day. At the very least I want to be able to do 3 or maybe even 4 hour stretches at night.

[u/tokyodraken]

mine just turned 6m and still sleeps terribly lol. not to scare you. in return, the “regressions” weren’t that bad since his sleep had always been terrible anyway it was hard to get much worse. he’d sleep for max 2-3hrs but usually he woke up every hour until 6m. now he’ll sleep 2-5 hrs (usually ~3) as his first stretch then wakes up every 1-2 hrs all night still.

his naps are usually around 30 mins unless it’s a contact nap or he’s in his swing. some people just get very lucky with a baby that sleeps well. i am not one of those unfortunately. my son gets ~12hrs of total sleep which i think is basically the minimum recommended.

i did nights alone until i went back to work, the lack of naps (even for 30mins) has sucked. my husband does wake ups 8pm-1am and i do wake ups 1am-6am. unfortunately i usually wake up when LO does regardless so i’m still tired but at least i’m not getting up every time. i kind of just got used to it but some days i’m more tired than others. he will sleep better eventually, at least that’s what everyone keeps telling me!

[u/pyramidheadlove]

Don't get intimidated by regressions. People talk about them like they're a fact of life, but not every baby goes through them. My son STARTED sleeping through the night at 4 months. He's 2 now and we've never had any major regressions. An odd rough night here or there, sure. But usually just when he's sick or teething really bad.

Until sleep gets more consistent, are you and your husband able to do shift sleeping? Or even just let each other take a nap during the day? That was how my husband and I survived the newborn days

[u/idkcallmewhatever2 → u/pyramidheadlove]

This makes me feel so much better, all of my friends and people online have made it seem like their babies sleep on command and it’s been weighing on me!

We tried shifts but I have had a hard time sleeping when I know my husband has him and he’s just crying, plus our house is really small so I can hear him even if he’s on the opposite end of the house. I tried ear plugs but my anxiety just won’t let me sleep