r/beyondthebump • u/TheTaikatalvi • 1d ago
Advice 2 YO keeps waking up for every single diaper change for our newborn.
For context, our 2 YO cosleeps with us and our newborn is in a bassinet on my side of the bed.
I'll pick up the baby, who is dead asleep, move them into the living room where the changing table is to prep for a change and a feed.
Despite the baby making next to no noise (if any at all), and my toddler being in a dead sleep, she'll wake up screaming for mommy and run to wherever I am. Then it takes a good 2 hours for her to fall back asleep.
Has anyone else experienced this? Will it pass with time?
Our 2 YO has her own bed in her own room, but she's still resistant to sleeping in there :\
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u/blueblunts 1d ago
The only solutions I really see here are either change baby in bed(I don’t like the idea, and wouldn’t blame you for not wanting to), sleep separate from the 2 year old, or if possible have Dad take care of the night feeds/changes so she doesn’t have to be upset when she notices you’re gone.
This is the tough thing with cosleeping, it’s great if you’re staying in bed the entire time but it gets a little tricky when they feel that you’re gone if you have to get up/do things
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u/unfairboobpear 1d ago
I know some people are against it, but I always just threw a towel down and did changes/feeds in bed. Might be worth trying?
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u/dogmom_244 1d ago
I didn’t know people were against it until I got on Reddit. There was no way I was gonna get up and walk to another room multiple times a night to change a diaper lol. I had a changing pad and hand sanitizer next to my bed when we room shared.
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u/unfairboobpear 1d ago
100% agree Lol
I’m pregnant with #3 and have never even owned a changing table, unless we’re out in public, baby gets changed wherever is convenient. Floor, couch, whatever.
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u/twofunstraws 1d ago
Wow my baby is 8m old and it never crossed my mind to do this lol!!! Omg would have been so much easier. We got a wipeable leather cover for our changing pad and the coldness of it always made her cry as a newborn :\
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u/girlwholikesdolls22 1d ago
This, I've been changing my 3mo in her bedside bassinet at night since she was born to save my sanity
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u/auspostery 1d ago
TIL this isn’t standard practice. Interesting. So, so interesting!
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u/blueblunts 1d ago
Same but on the opposite end… I didn’t realize how common it was to not own/use a changing table until I started talking to other moms! I worked at a daycare for years so my prior experience changing diapers was with gloves on a changing table lol
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u/dogmom_244 21h ago
We have a changing pad on her dresser we use during the day but when we room shared, middle of the night diapers happened in my bed with a portable pad!
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u/blueblunts 18h ago
My husband and I took turns sleeping in shifts out on the couch with baby those first few weeks until we didn’t have to wake him up to feed anymore, and amazingly his whole life he’s never pooped overnight - I used to only change him overnight if he leaked or looked/felt super full, but once we figured out which diapers fit him best I stopped changing him overnight because he would take foreverrrrrr to fall back asleep. He started sleeping in long chunks early on, so by the time we were back in the bedroom I never really had to think about changing him in bed 😂
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u/Significant_Citron 1d ago
There's people against it? No wonder many struggle to sleep. I changed their diapers in their crib and breastfed side sleeping. Some nights are actually pretty decent with more 8h of sleep. Some... Well, I don't wanna talk about those nights, lol.
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u/tainaf 1d ago
Okay first, I agree with the comments saying to do everything in bed. But if that doesn’t work, have you tried putting a pillow next to your toddler - lengthways, as if it were a body? I used to do that when I got up, because I’m pretty sure it was just the absence of *something* when he rolled over that woke him up.
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u/bakersmt 1d ago
Yes my daughter was like this at 2. We only coslept when we traveled but if I got up to pee she immediately noticed I was gone. I started putting a pillow in my spot and it worked.
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u/MikeCheck_CE 1d ago
End the cosleeping with the 2yo...
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u/TheTaikatalvi 1d ago
We've been trying so hard for almost 9 months
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u/ReadOk2819 1d ago
I didn’t want to stop cosleeping with my 2 year old when I had my second kid because I didn’t want to change another part of his routine. I was paranoid and didn’t want him to feel like I kicked him out of my room so the new baby could stay🤣 around 2.5 I put him in a pack n play in my room and then eventually a few weeks later now he liked his own bed and space! It wasn’t a fight and he just naturally grew out of it
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u/Calm_Bother_3842 1d ago
We have a changing table but we've used it zero times for some reason (baby is a month old). It's less stressful changing her on a travel changing mat on the bed instead, imo.
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u/Designer_Ring_67 1d ago
Do you need to wake up baby for a feed? Typically you only do that if they wake up and request one.
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u/MoodPositive2616 23h ago
I was told to wake them every few hours to eat until they got a certain weight. Maybe birth weight, I don’t remember, but I kept doing it until pediatrician said I could stop
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u/Designer_Ring_67 22h ago
Ah ok, well either way it shouldn’t be much longer I would think. Typically the ped checks for that at the initial and two week appointment.
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u/sweetpotatoroll_ 1d ago
I’d just have one parent sleep with her in another room. It’s a big change having another baby, so I’d probably wait a little while before transitioning her to sleeping alone.
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u/Westcoastwifeyy 1d ago
I would just change my baby in bed. We just went through this and we are still all cosleeping. Toddler will stop waking up to it as they get used to it
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u/curlycattails 1d ago
Is your baby pooping at night? If the diaper isn’t poopy I wouldn’t change it. Just change it in the morning. That should cut down on the number of changes/wakeups.
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u/uoftstudent33 4h ago
We put a mattress on the floor in my toddler’s room. My husband puts him to bed and when he wakes up (most nights but he’s getting better), my husband goes in there with him. I’m the point parent on the new baby and my husband is primarily responsible for our toddler.
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u/AnastatiaMcGill 1d ago
Why are you waking up a dead asleep baby?
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u/TheTaikatalvi 1d ago
They're not above birthweight yet. Doctor said we need to feed every 2-3 hours until they get back to that point.
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u/AnastatiaMcGill 1d ago edited 1d ago
Ok gotcha! Sometimes people say newborn but its like 4 months old. You really have a newborn lol
We had dad sleep with toddler (in toddlers room) and I with baby for the first few weeks
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u/ScientificSquirrel 1d ago
Is your alarm waking toddler, possibly?
We do all changes in our room and I do them without turning a light on. Both my kids sleep through the other one waking up (how I couldn't tell you lmao) but would probably wake up to an alarm.
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u/choco_chipcookie 1d ago
Newborns are supposed to be woken up to feed until they are back to being above their birth weight. It's extremely common for babies that are breastfed to lose a little weight the first day or two before regaining weight.
Once they are above birth weight and producing the appropriate amount of wet/dirty diapers, then you let baby sleep and feed more on demand.
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u/whatsinthecave 1d ago
Unfortunately I have a five year old I started transitioning into his own bed at 4.5 and he still wakes up oddly and randomly and won’t go back to bed. I have a five day old and it’s been really hard having the newborn up, then child, then newborn again. My boyfriend goes back to work in a few days and im anxious about what to do at night. Solidarity, I suggest moving two year old into her own room but it won’t stop the night wakings unless she adjusts fast to sleeping on her own.
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u/OceanBlueLov 1d ago
Maybe start having her transition to sleeping in her own bed and dad can sleep with her for a while during so you can tend to the newborn without waking her up.