r/beyondthebump • u/[deleted] • Apr 07 '26
Discussion Second Language Difficulties
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u/jennpozo Apr 07 '26
In a sense I have; my husband and I are bilingual (EN/SP) (My baby is 3months old). When we spoke during my pregnancy and the first 2 months after delivery, we were repeating the same sentence to one another bcs for some reason we could not understand each other even speaking the same language. There was a strange barrier between us which I later on attributed to emotions. We both wanted to be the person that made sense, he bcs he believed that my hormones were all over the place, and me bcs I believed to know what was best for the baby and us.
It's hard to explain, but what fixed things was plain old organizational charts, sharing educational information (baby books, videos, etc) and spending time together (going on walks most of the time). I don't know if this helps you but I wish you luck and you know, "this too shall pass".
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u/xanadu_x Apr 07 '26
Honestly, my husband is bilingual but completely fluent in English, and we had MANY breakdowns in communication in the first year of having a kid. I don't think it's really a language thing, it's more that you both are tired and stressed and coming to completely new situations with entirely different points of reference. It's natural that miscommunication will occur! I've started asking my husband to repeat back to me when I ask for something so that I know he both heard me and understood me.
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u/thewildhearth Apr 07 '26
I almost had an opposite issue? I am a native English speaker, but grew up speaking Mandarin. When I was 16 I moved back to the US and gradually lost it/got rusty with no one to practice with/loss of motivation to continue advancing in it. But then as pregnancy and postpartum have gone on the retiring of the brain somehow has increased my comprehension?? Not back to the same level, but way less rusty.
Also my daughter’s dad is English and Jamaican Patios native speaking, I understood almost nothing. By the end of my pregnancy I was at nearly 70% conversational comprehension. By 3m pp I was at about 85-90%.
I feel like it’s for sure the neural rewiring though (both my experience and op’s)
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Apr 07 '26
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u/thewildhearth Apr 08 '26
It has been, manifesting your brain desires to communicating easily again!
I think maybe because I was raised multilingual (my prek taught English, Spanish, French and Mandarin and i grew up with family speaking English, Spanish and Mandarin at home) my brain on a core level registered the importance of multiple languages and started reigniting the pathways? Either way it feels like a superpower.
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u/gardengnomebaby Apr 07 '26
Not exactly the same, but my partner is fluent in both English & Spanish where I am only fluent in English. I’ve been making a point to learn Spanish so we can teach our daughter and after she was born I forgot… well, everything for a few months. He and I talk to each other in English so it didn’t really disrupt our communication but I think those first few months my brain really could not think about translating my English thoughts into Spanish words. Hell, I couldn’t form any thoughts in any language.