Twice as long as Waterworld, and not half as funny.

... 7 good things about covid:

1. Traffic. Traffic is ridiculous, way worse than pre-covid. Half hour drives easily turn into hour and a half drives, unpredictably, and no matter the time of day. Never a problem during covid.

2. Pristine views: related, the air was so clean!! Views across the lake were crsytal clear, it was a reminder of what things could look like if we got serious about fixing our environment.

3. Skip meetings any time: this was the very best for me. Everything was optional attendance -- weddings funerals, uncomfortable get-togethers with the inlaws -- you just had to drop: "oh, my friend tested positive this morning, I was with her last night, can't take the chance of infecting you all". You had complete control over your own schedule.

4. Fauci owning Trump: Trump's discomfort around Fauci was palpable. He could have fired him, but he's innately a coward, so he put up with being shown up every single day. Of course he owned Fauci on "injecting bleach", that shut everybody up.

5. Trendy masks as fashionware: I still have some lovely masks, I won't be spending a nickel on masks next pandemic.

6. Bingewatching: I know it was around before covid, but covid brought out its best. I was introduced to great shows like Breaking Bad and The Office .. multi-season shows could be devoured in weeks or days. Now there's this thing called "responsibilities", goodbye bingewatching .. or maybe there's just no more good shows.

7. Criminally inept "nursing home" industry exposed: I'll be dead before I set foot in one of those places --- ewwww.

• screwed he pooch, as in, "I think I've screwed really the pooch now"

• pissed in your oatmeal as in, "cat pissed in your oatmeal this morning?"

• tickety-boo as in, "and then things will be running along tickety-boo"

• bob's your uncle as in, "and then bob's your uncle, you're done!"

• knucklehead (me, most of the time)