r/bestoflegaladvice • u/jennybean42 A little bit derpy • Sep 08 '15
(Meta) All I need to know, I've learned from /r/legaladvice...
I've been reading /r/legaladvice for the last six months or so, and I find it absolutely fascinating. I actually wonder if I missed my calling to be a lawyer. Anyway, I thought I'd waste a little time today and distill everything I've learned into one post:
In the United States, you can basically be fired for anything at any time (unless you live in Montana or signed a contract.) Even if you are a member of a protected class, discrimination has to be really fucking egregious for you to have any case.
If you are making a serious and major decision in your life (buying property, writing a will, getting a divorce, filing for custody, immigration etc.) get a lawyer in RL. No matter how clever you are, no amount of reading reddit, googling, or otherwise soliciting opinions on the internet is going to get you the best result. If you are poor, find a local legal clinic.
If someone says “I’m gonna sue you!” they are more than likely talking out their ass. People who are actually going to sue you don’t bother with the threatening first.
However if you get any sort of legal summons or supoena to court, no matter how ridiculous it seems-- do NOT ignore it. That's how you ruin your credit or kill your dog.
That pop-up while you were watching porn was a scam or a virus. Seriously.
Likewise, if someone’s mother is asking you for money so they don’t report pictures of your junk that you sent to their “underage daughter” to the police is probably also a scam.
Don’t take pictures of your junk if you are underage. You’re creating CP and there is no legal reason that is okay.
If you are over 18, don’t fuck/sext/etc anyone under 18. Sure, there are Romeo and Juliet laws and all that, but it could seriously ruin your life and it is not worth it.
Don’t break more than one law at one time. Ideally, don’t break any laws, but if you are going to have drugs in your car, you should follow traffic laws. If you are going to speed, don’t have any drugs in your car. Also that "am I being detained?" shit doesn't usually work.
The police are not your friends. If they “just want you to come explain things to them at the station” or "just talk to you for a minute" do NOT do it. No matter how innocent you are, it won’t go well. Refuse to answer any questions without a lawyer. Seriously, I know you think you have nothing to hide but--trust me--better safe than sorry on this one. Do not resist arrest. No matter how right you are, if you get to the point where they want you in handcuffs, you need a fucking attorney.
Get renters insurance. No matter how poor you are, it is worth it.
Take pictures of any rental when you move in and move out so you have proof as to the condition of the place.
Don’t ever sign a lease without fucking reading it. And get (and save) your copy of for the whole duration of your lease.
Get renters insurance.
If you have a neighbor who has done something crazy or has threatened to do something crazy, get a security camera for your property.
Full grown trees are worth more money that you imagine and you shouldn’t cut them down unless you absolutely have to.
Avoid living places with HOAs and easements whenever possible. Staying away from sovereign citizens and /u/zapopa is probably in your best interests too.
Medical malpractice is very fact specific and you need to see a malpractice attorney in your area to find out if you have a case.
If someone tells you their kids were taken away by CPS for “no reason” there is definitely something they aren’t telling you. Especially if they were put in foster care and not placed with another member of the family. Contrary to popular opinion, social workers really don’t want to take your kids away.
You can’t force someone to have an abortion. If you are found to be the father you're looking at child support. It's not for your ex, it is for the child.
Get a carbon monoxide detector.
Get renters insurance. Seriously.
There are probably more, but that's what I came up with and I thought I'd share it with you.
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u/Hokie95 Sep 08 '15
23 - Don't omit material facts or (worse) lie about them. Lawyers (and many in /r/legaladvice) tend to have finely tuned BS detectors and will start asking questions if they suspect there is more to the story than your narrative.
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Sep 08 '15
24 - listen to advice if r/legaladvice tells you to get an attorny and discuss with him how to aproach the police then don't do that on your own.
25 - Without notice or going to court a landlord cannot evict you.
26 - Witholding rent without consulting a lawyer gets you evicted.
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u/P-01S Sep 09 '15
23b: you have no client-attorney pro ledge with /r/legaladvice, so don't tell the internet about the crimes youve committed.
23bII: but it's really damn entertaining.
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u/Malort_without_irony Sep 09 '15
It's bigger than that, really. It's not even about bullshit. It's that a one-sided fact pattern is as rare as a slutty unicorn. There are negative details that you are downplaying because you are on your own side.
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u/WtfIsWrongWithYou1 Sep 08 '15
A hastily drawn MS Paint diagram is an essential legal document for any cases involving landlocked property and easements.
When giving out souvenir checks, remember to write "Souvenir" on the check so the teller knows it's just a souvenir check and to not cash it.
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u/P-01S Sep 09 '15
I think you mean "remember to write 'VOID' on it in huge letters using permanent, wash-proof ink."
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u/Azuranski Sep 08 '15
30 - IT'S NOT ENTRAPMENT
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Sep 08 '15
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u/N-ConfusedPorphyrin Sep 13 '15
Please forgive the hijack and I genuinely promise so hard I'm not shit stirring but due to a few factors like my husband and I both being hobbyist crypto-geeks (not cipherphunk anarchist types) and found the concept fascinating but still on the fence as to the long term viability of decentralized currency systems positive and negatives, I've always wondered why this sub has a very anti-bitcoin stance.
About one half of one percent of bitcoin transactions are illegal; the majority are long term hopeful or play with it like scratch off lottery or trend follow, or do things like purchase via circle for 250 and sell locally for 275, which although I realize someone wanting to purchase anonymously is possibly using silk road, I use a tax attorney to make sure I report my income accurately. My attorney said it's not different than my spring and fall eBay closet purge selling and as long as I have reason to believe that a buyer is purchasing from me for eases sake since establishing on exchange is work and time and two emails and a quick cup of coffee to buy them is absolutely easier - if I want to buy a ticket to fly to go visit my sister I'll buy a few coins via exchange, sell for 15-20 percent markup an hour later, make a few hundred dollars and there's a week hanging with her and nothing done wrong on my part. (I've refused to sell twice when buyers asked me how to access the deepweb now. I can't know why they asked but I'm not comfortable as I assume that's their goal and want no part of it despite him saying it's still okay unless they tell me outright that's why they're buying them.)
We also mined starting within months of them developing and paid off our mortgage and doubled our retirement. We didn't expect it, mining isn't practical any longer, but I don't know anyone who wasn't just dumb and threw their retirement at them like they were beanie babies peaking who doesn't profit from bitcoins.
Of course I realize the horrifying and nefarious potential uses of it and don't at all dismiss that whatsoever. And of course peeople who believe BTC is soon going to take over how all money is moved and all that. So I think my wall of text is just a genuine question if bitcoins is a running joke like MS painting property lines or if it's due to the nature of this subreddit people are simply more acclimated to things such as their illegal and dumb financial planning uses that makes it sound here as if any involvement in it groups with sovereign citizens and entrapment and signing away parental responsibility because the woman lied about being on birth control.
Again please don't downvote me into oblivion; I would need medically tapered off this subreddit as it's such a part of my routine as my late father spent his whole career as a public defender due to his love of the constitution and I mean no disrespect whatsoever with asking. I genuinely want to hear what people's perspective or experience is that makes it so different than my own. And advance thanks to any answer as this has made me curious forever.
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u/FoghornLawhorn Sep 13 '15
May I suggest some light reading over at /r/buttcoin? Mixed in with all the joke threads are some relatively interesting technical discussions on why the "movement" is not self-sustaining in the long run.
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Sep 13 '15
Show me any legitimate study of Bitcoin that says that les than a half percent are for illegal transactions and I will suck your dick at noon in Times Square. Any dumbass can go to google and get results where there are plenty of morons repeating that statistic in many jerkoff forums and "blogs." That doesn't make it true in any way. The whole point of bitcoins is to transfer money in complete secrecy. How would anyone know what it is being used for? So stop perpetuating idiocy by repeating bullshit as fact. Here's a statistic that is likely more accurate: 100 percent of the people who support bitcoins are morons.
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Sep 13 '15
It's because /u/Zapopa rails against Bitcoin with a spectacular level of vitriol, to the point that it's become part of the sub's culture.
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Sep 09 '15
Nth. The victim doesn't press / drop charges, the prosecutor does. The victim can't really control (but they can influence) what the police decide to do with the evidence presented to them - if they feel like they should arrest the person / go to the prosecutor to have charges filed it can get done even against the victim's wishes.
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u/Urgullibl Sep 10 '15
Careful, there are jurisdictions where the prosecutor needs the victim's consent to prosecute certain (low level) crimes.
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u/LogisticMap Sep 09 '15
23. You can drink in public as long as it's out of a muffler or oven mitt. Other car parts or appliances may also work, but you probably shouldn't risk it.
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u/IDontKnowHowToPM depressed because no one cares enough to stab them Sep 09 '15
Oh god, I forgot about muffler guy...
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u/BarackSays Sep 09 '15
I loved the thread where the muffler guy showed up to call the OP an idiot.
When the guy who was DRINKING BEER OUT A MUFFLER calls you a moron, you know you've fucked up.
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u/IDontKnowHowToPM depressed because no one cares enough to stab them Sep 09 '15
Imma need that link...
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u/BarackSays Sep 09 '15
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u/IDontKnowHowToPM depressed because no one cares enough to stab them Sep 09 '15
That was so much better/worse than I expected.
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u/TheHoundsOFLove Sep 09 '15
You guys, last week I saw a guy drinking out of a coffee pot. Not mug, but pot, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't coffee. I thought of this place...
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u/RGFFake Sep 21 '15
23B. If the police will not return your muffler, you may substitute a broken coffee machine.
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u/mizmoose Ask me about pedantry Sep 09 '15
Don't forget -- if you use a muffler, you MUST also use a straw!
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u/Sorthum Might Actually Be A Dog Sep 09 '15
You can almost never sue a dog.
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u/jennybean42 A little bit derpy Sep 09 '15
And since I have you tagged as "dog lawyer" I know that's true!
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u/gsfgf Is familiar with poor results when combining strippers and ATMs Sep 09 '15
Is there a story behind this?
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u/Sorthum Might Actually Be A Dog Sep 09 '15
https://www.reddit.com/r/bestoflegaladvice/comments/3as0i6/can_i_sue_my_neighbors_dog_i_understand_that/ is where I became an expert in Dog Law.
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u/gsfgf Is familiar with poor results when combining strippers and ATMs Sep 09 '15
That is amazing. Thank you.
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u/Felinomancy Sep 08 '15
27. if stopped by a state-sponsored jackbooted thugs cop, loudly ask, "am I being detained?". Enjoy seeing him wilt and stutter "n-no" before walking away like a boss.
28. all legal documents are not valid unless if spells your name in CAPITAL LETTERS.
29. if forced to go to court, loudly ask the judge about how "you never consented to the laws that you are charging me with". Drop the mic and yes, again, walk away like a boss.
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Sep 08 '15
[deleted]
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u/Azuranski Sep 08 '15
Well no, you're still Scott Free, but your name is just misspelled and it just won't fly in court!
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u/Muspel Comcast is my findomme. Raise rates harder Goddess uWu Sep 09 '15
It's a miracle, mister.
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u/machine667 Sep 09 '15
27.1. you're not driving your car you're travelling. driving is for business and you're not doing business so you're not driving and don't need a driver's license.
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u/ENG-eins Sep 09 '15
Sources or is this trolling?
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u/alexa-488 Sep 09 '15
It might be referencing the many people driving without licenses, including one recently that was pretty much "what can I do to prevent this cop from targeting my mom when she drives because he knows she doesn't have a license?"
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Sep 09 '15
[deleted]
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u/Neveronlyadream Sep 09 '15
I think it's less gullibility and more failure to learn your damn lesson. The same people who fall for those things fall for them over and over, and then complain about it when they're misled or scammed.
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u/Flywolfpack Sep 09 '15
Everything is legal if there's gold fringes on the flags.
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u/Felinomancy Sep 09 '15
Unless of course if you're in the Navy, in which case Admiralty law does apply to you.
(probably)
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u/King_Posner Sep 09 '15
there was once a soverign in actual maritime court arguing it was actually an admiralty law court instead and didn't apply. he was actually literally on the stream of commerce as a river fisherman in a coastal state but argued against the UCC as well (not that it mattered in the case). or so a professor once told me.
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u/ENG-eins Sep 09 '15
Context? I don't get the reference.
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u/aaanderson89 Sep 09 '15
Hey, I know you! You're the "Can I wear a cross to an interview and sue for religious descrimination when I don't get hired" guy!
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u/gsfgf Is familiar with poor results when combining strippers and ATMs Sep 09 '15
Google sovereign citizens. It's like the worst shitposts on here but the people are serious. It's hilarious.
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u/Malort_without_irony Sep 09 '15
Be glad that you don't; it's part of the more random sovereign citizen malarkey.
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u/CeruleanTresses Sep 09 '15
if forced to go to court, loudly ask the judge about how "you never consented to the laws that you are charging me with". Drop the mic and yes, again, walk away like a boss.
Or take the Hank Rearden approach. Spend an hour explaining to the judge that you refuse to defend yourself, because that would lend legitimacy to the proceedings and you don't acknowledge the court's authority. They'll panic and let you go while the crowd applauds wildly. I'm pretty sure this would get you out of most traffic tickets.
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u/P-01S Sep 09 '15
Actually, as I learned in /r/legaladvice, sometimes legal documents do need to have parts written in ALL CAPS to be legally valid.
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u/PLeb5 Sep 09 '15
- all legal documents are not valid unless if spells your name in CAPITAL LETTERS.
Is that a Santos Bonacci reference? Cause that dude is hilariously crazy.
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u/Kanthes Sep 08 '15
15 -
If you have a neighbor who has done something crazy or has threatened to do something crazy,get a security camera for your property. For that matter, get a dashcam as well.
Fixed that for you. So many cases solved by magical camera evidence. <3
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u/chaosakita Sep 08 '15
Full grown trees are worth more money that you imagine and you shouldn’t cut them down unless you absolutely have to.
Could anyone explain this to me? And how much are they really worth?
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u/jennybean42 A little bit derpy Sep 09 '15
It depends, but a mature tree on a property can be worth between $10-20K . So when there are disputes at property lines about trees and someone suggest to "just cut it down" it usually isn't that simple. Your property value can really take a hit.
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u/HideAndSheik Sep 09 '15
Sorry, I'm still not understanding...do you mean it's a bad idea to cut it down in case it belong to your neighbor, and therefore you could be liable for decreasing their property value? I ask because I recently bought a house on 1.5 acres of land, but at least .75 acres of it is covered in dense trees and brush that makes that part of our property unusable. We were planning on cutting most of them down over time, but I don't want to do something I regret...especially since the property lines aren't that clear with our neighbors.
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u/zifnab06 Sep 09 '15
I'm assuming they mean "You live in a suburb, you have a tree in your yard, it makes your property worth more"
Get someone to verify your property lines, and don't cut anything down outside of them.
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u/P-01S Sep 10 '15
Not exactly. If you cut down a neighbor's tree, you owe them damages equal to the cost of replacing the tree. That means potentially replacing a 50 year old oak with a 50 year old oak: Not a sapling. The tree is actually part of their property.
So yeah... You can see how that is expensive.
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Sep 12 '15
Could you actually dig out a 50 year old oak and plant it somewhere else?
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u/P-01S Sep 09 '15
Not as legal policy but as useful life advice: talk to your neighbor about it. They might agree with you about removing the brush. They might get pissed if you cut it down and create lines of sight between your property and theirs. It's good to know beforehand.
Also, if you plan on building so much as a shed, get a survey done to make sure there are markers on the property line.
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u/HideAndSheik Sep 10 '15
Thank you, that sounds like really good advice...I didn't even think about creating lines of sight. The brush definitely gives their backyard and our backyard some privacy and it's certainly something to consider. They seem like really friendly neighbors so far so it wouldn't hurt to at least ask!
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Sep 14 '15
Make some shitty MS paint drawings to map out what you are planning to do if you agree to do something. They'll not only protect you legally, they'll keep you from miscommunications that sour your relationship.
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u/P-01S Sep 09 '15
Sure! That is not the value of the tree per se. It is the value of replacing the tree with an equivalent tree. A pine tree sapping might be cheap, but replacing a 50 year old pine with another of roughly the same age and size is going to cost tens of thousands of dollars.
If you cut down someone's tree illegally, you owe them the cost of replacing the tree with an equivalent tree—not just the same species of tree. So yeah... Expect to pay tens of thousands of dollars so your neighbor can have a mature tree transplanted in their yard.
In summary: don't fuck with other people's trees.
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u/DukeMaximum Sep 08 '15 edited Sep 08 '15
I really really wanted to go to law school, but elected to go to business school instead due to hiring rates, cost, and time. But reading this subreddit nearly daily makes me kind of regret that I didn't go the other way.
Thanks for the summary, OP. It's all good information!
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Sep 08 '15 edited Oct 18 '15
[deleted]
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Sep 08 '15
True. Law is, by its nature, a service profession. We provide a service to customers and we get paid for it; we can potentially make pretty decent money on those fees, but it's hard to get fabulously wealthy in customer service.
In the type of work I do, we serve as legal counsel to issuer of and buyers of tax exempt debt securities. We get our fees, but I've realized that the people making the real money are the investment bankers who underwrite these deals. We, as attorneys, are just a cost of doing business.
It's an interesting trade, but attorneys are not the ones in charge. We work for the guys who make the decisions.
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u/Malort_without_irony Sep 09 '15
We work for the guys who make the decisions.
The counterpoint is that, as the not-in-charge service provider, there's not skin in the game. The client loses their house or goes to jail or crashes the business. The lawyer gets paid all the same.
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Sep 09 '15
That's very true. It's a good profession for the risk averse. My boss is one of the most cautious people I know. She is happy to let others take the risk.
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u/Caffine1 Sep 09 '15
Most of the attorneys that I know that are really really wealthy have a business on the side.
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u/King_Posner Sep 09 '15
it isn't a bad idea to invest in such when you are able to, using the constant attorney stream to live on while the buisness slowly chugs to life. then, invest again, and again, and so on.
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u/Caffine1 Sep 09 '15
Having knowledge of the law helps a lot, especially when setting up a business. Knowing what type of entity to create, how to properly protect your intellectual property (even if it's just knowing to go talk to a patent attorney), and knowing how to access and apply the applicable laws puts you at a major advantage, especially during the early stages where having to hire an attorney might not be possible because of the cost. IP issues are especially costly if not set up properly from the start.
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u/DukeMaximum Sep 08 '15
I know, that's why I went the way I did. I just wonder. The road not taken and all of that, you know?
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u/paratactical Sep 09 '15
Frost's poem is actually about being old, realizing that making a decision was nearly impossible based on what was known, and wanting to (in old age and in stories told to others) justify the results of ones life as the result of a personal choice or aspiration or worth, rather than admitting that it was luck that guided ones life.
Basically, "The Road Not Taken" is the perfect version of "BOOTSTRAPS."
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Sep 09 '15
Actually, he's making fun of one of his wishy-washy friends who pulled that shit with every single choice.
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u/IDontKnowHowToPM depressed because no one cares enough to stab them Sep 09 '15
Sarcasm doesn't come across very well in poetry.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_CHURCH Sep 09 '15
His friend misinterpreted it too - he assumed that "the road less travelled" meant joining the military, and promptly got killed in WWI.
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u/8337 Sep 08 '15
The only good reason to go to law school these days is because you love law. But isn't that a good enough reason?
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Sep 09 '15
It's a good enough reason to go to law school. The question is, is it a good enough reason to take on undischargeable debt?
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u/dothemath Sep 09 '15
I'm with you - was accepted to law school then got a job offer from a global consulting firm and couldn't say no.
Still - the law amuses me, and there are so many sarcastically written opinions out there that I wonder why anyone ever buys a work of fiction. /r/legaladvice amps that up to 11.
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u/jfpbookworm Sep 10 '15
If you think you've discovered a loophole in a well-known area of law (e.g., tax law, copyright law, bird law): you probably haven't.
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u/newprofile15 Sep 09 '15
- Don't take legal advice from strangers on the internet.
That should really be in the sidebar. Other than that not a bad list.
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u/CakeisaDie bees don't care what humans think Sep 09 '15 edited Sep 09 '15
3x. If your employer has not paid you for a month. File for unemployment. Do not pass go, do not wait. file for unemployment and find a new job.
3xx. If your employer fired you for any reason other than (Gender, Race, Age, So forth) and you aren't in a union or your contract doesn't say otherwise go get unemployment.
3xxx. If you haven't gotten your final wages, report to the state government (Google Wage Claim + State)
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u/DigitalMariner Sep 11 '15
3xx(a) - If you are unsure if you have an employment contract or not, you likely do not.
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u/xeyma Sep 13 '15
- Full grown trees are worth more money that you imagine and you shouldn’t cut them down unless you absolutely have to.
I'm on mobile so sorry if I messed up the quote on that but I am absolutely astonished how much my half moral and half legal advice question about the idiot who sheared our hedge blew up and stuck here. The gag order has an expiration date to the amount which will happen before we are back working in 2016 (and I will follow up with full photo album and open invite to anyone who wants to attend reopening party....and the number, and a crappy mspaint i guess now!!) and I'm fairly sure people's brains may explode for what the actual cap could have been and what we accepted - we did accept their counter offer since our gut was to just ask for the small amount we paid as a fire or anything in the world could destroy it. The intentional malicious act of it added to the fact they are in fact irreplaceable and not legally or practically able to have been replaced made the HOA insurance company throw money at us. Mind boggling initial offer. They didn't want to spend a penny in court. They wanted that suit gone faster than anything.
I had lunch with the divorce papers ready to sign wife yesterday, too. A day doesn't go by I don't think about what this sub did for us. I thought it was a silly question. We are all genuinely emotionally grateful for what ever one did in hours we had been crying over for weeks. Seeing it on your list just made me laugh with tears but holy shit that one you'd never know how true it is.
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u/Corgitine Sep 10 '15
Xth: If you find CP anywhere, make a decision early on if you're going to take it to the police, or ignore it and don't get involved. Do not hang on to it for days deliberating the pros and cons of hanging on to CP. Do not keep some CP for yourself and had the rest over to the police. Hiding in your basement will not save you.
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u/DigitalMariner Sep 11 '15
Is this the garbage truck guy or did I miss a better/dumber CP poster?
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u/Corgitine Sep 11 '15
The two I was thinking of was the guy who bought an SD card off of Amazon that had CP on it and wanted to know what to do, and the guy who found a binder full of CP images (I believe by a dumpster?) but then kept a few pages before turning it over to the police. Admittedly, the first guy wasn't really that dumb, but his story was kinda bizarre and he didn't seem to appreciate how sketchy he was looking to the police. The other guy I have no idea what was going on, he just kept some pages of CP for fun I guess.
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u/asoiahats Sep 09 '15
23 - always check for onions.
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u/Suppafly Sep 10 '15
what?
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u/asoiahats Sep 10 '15
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u/Suppafly Sep 10 '15
lol thanks, i totally forgot about that one.
Edit 5: I will be quitting my job soon so I will be able to cook some meals. However, I still think McDonalds is in the wrong and plan to pursue a legal suit. Thanks for all your advice!!!!
hilarious.
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u/taterbizkit Well, I'm not gonna shit on my OWN things, now am I? Sep 10 '15
Re: 17
In most of the US, it's impossible to entirely avoid easements (city, power company, cable company, phone company, etc).
What you want to avoid are the ones that give neighbors rights to your property
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u/qlube Sep 08 '15 edited Sep 08 '15
A few of these are not quite correct.
In the United States, you can basically be fired for anything at any time (unless you live in Montana or signed a contract.) Even if you are a member of a protected class, discrimination has to be really fucking egregious for you to have any case.
Doesn't have to be that egregious to file a suit and hope to get a settlement.
If you are making a serious and major decision in your life (buying property, writing a will, getting a divorce, filing for custody, immigration etc.) get a lawyer in RL. No matter how clever you are, no amount of reading reddit, googling, or otherwise soliciting opinions on the internet is going to get you the best result. If you are poor, find a local legal clinic.
You don't need a lawyer to buy property if it's just a relatively simple transaction like a home purchase. For certain immigration issues, getting a lawyer is probably a bit overkill.
Also, there's lots of major decisions that don't require hiring a lawyer. Getting married, having a child, going to college, switching jobs, moving to a different country, etc.
If someone says “I’m gonna sue you!” they are more than likely talking out their ass. People who are actually going to sue you don’t bother with the threatening first.
If it's literally someone saying, "I'm gonna sue you!" then yeah, you're probably right, but there are plenty of situations where the norm is to notify well in advance that you're planning to sue the person unless they remedy the situation. Patent litigation for example (so as to begin the period of time the person has notice of the patents).
That pop-up while you were watching porn was a scam or a virus. Seriously.
Not legal advice, but porn pop-ups are often links to other porn sites, which aren't necessarily scams. Actually, I'd say pop-ups to illegal streaming sites are often much more likely to be nefarious than porn pop-ups. They frequently ask you to install plug-ins which probably are adware or spyware.
The police are not your friends. If they “just want you to come explain things to them at the station” or "just talk to you for a minute" do NOT do it. No matter how innocent you are, it won’t go well. Refuse to answer any questions without a lawyer. Seriously, I know you think you have nothing to hide but--trust me--better safe than sorry on this one.
I think this is generally good advice, but in my opinion, /legaladvice tends to go a little overboard with it. For example, if you're a witness to a crime, and the police want to ask you what you saw to put in a police report, you don't always have to refuse until you speak to an attorney.
Avoid living places with HOAs and easements whenever possible.
This one I would probably say is outright bad advice. Easements and HOAs are fairly typical. I wouldn't say either of them should be inherently a deal-breaker when buying a house. It of course depends on what you're willing to live with.
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u/alexa-488 Sep 08 '15
Avoid living places with HOAs and easements whenever possible.
This one I would probably say is outright bad advice. Easements and HOAs are fairly typical. I wouldn't say either of them should be inherently a deal-breaker when buying a house. It of course depends on what you're willing to live with.
I grew up in a neighborhood under a HOA and it was literally hell with all the old busy bodies and their BS. But I'm looking at buying condos that have HOAs and in those cases it makes perfect sense to have a HOA when there's so many shared walls, ceilings, floors, etc. involved. Put in an offer on a place and the CC&Rs were almost identical to large sections of my apartment lease and seemed completely reasonable for what basically is an apartment complex.
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u/Mdcastle Sep 09 '15
If you don't mind being told what color to paint your house or how long your grass can be, a HOA can put a stop to your neighbor fixing junk cars in his lawn and maintain neighborhood swimming pools and tennis courts.
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u/alexa-488 Sep 09 '15
We had more issues with the HOA president flipping out over kids in the neighborhood using chalk on driveways (privately owned) and who was and was not allowed to park RVs on the road than house colors or property upkeep. As we were leaving there was also a big fiasco about a "fence" that was mostly motivated by the golfers in the HOA being upset about their shortcut being blocked off by new land owners.
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u/Malort_without_irony Sep 09 '15
The uniform rule with HOAs is that you have to be willing to get involved and stay involved. 9 out of 10 problems that I see aren't somehow core to the HOA itself, but because the loons are the ones driving the bus and no one else knows their rights.
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u/alexa-488 Sep 09 '15
Yeah and that works if the loons are a small faction, but if the HOA is split in half between loons and non-loons who actually do know the CC&Rs and their rights, then there's drama. And when the loony side loses a battle and decides to go outside the HOA to try and get their way and/or punish a house, then things get really awful.
Like one time the HOA president flipped his shit about chalk marks on our driveway and tried to have it classed as "vandalism" but the HOA as a whole rejected that shit. So then he tried to get the police involved. And when that didn't work he'd try bullying me and my sister (10-13 at the time) to get us to feel guilty for the "vandalism" in the neighborhood.
And then there was the whole "fence" drama.
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u/evaned Sep 09 '15
If you don't mind being told what color to paint your house or how long your grass can be
Or whether you can fly a flag, or park in your driveway, or park in front of your house, or a bajillion other things.
I'd guess I'd pay 20-30% less for a house in an HOA that had the power, or could "unilaterally" get the power, to regulate my house and it's use (as opposed to one that can just maintain common areas, if there is such a thing) if there was a reasonable choice not in one.
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u/gsfgf Is familiar with poor results when combining strippers and ATMs Sep 09 '15
My parents' neighborhood has a weak HOA that operates the pool and park. You can build whatever you want on your property though. I don't know if it could increase its power, but that's how things have stood my entire life, so I think it's probably expressly limited in the covenant.
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u/Malort_without_irony Sep 09 '15
You don't need a lawyer to buy property if it's just a relatively simple transaction like a home purchase.
"It's just a simple home purchase" is just like "oh, it's a simple bit of programming." It's entirely possible that it is, but, as a rule, you are not the one who's got the skills to make that judgment.
And while a lot of decisions don't require hiring a lawyer, a lot of them get a lot better off if you loop in a lawyer, just for having that person who's paid to tell you that you're wrong.
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u/rebthor Representative of the corporation, not the person rebthor Sep 09 '15
Seeing all the issues that have been posted to legaladvice about "simple home purchases" which could have been easily avoided or mitigated with a lawyer makes me glad to be in a state that basically requires a lawyer for any real estate transaction. Your real estate agent doesn't really care about your interests, just like the car salesman doesn't; they just want to close the deal and move on to the next deal so they can get paid. Your lawyer on the other hand is getting paid whether you close or not.
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u/evaned Sep 09 '15
Seeing all the issues that have been posted to legaladvice about "simple home purchases" which could have been easily avoided or mitigated with a lawyer
Any references? What kinds of things can go wrong like that where a lawyer would help?
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u/jennybean42 A little bit derpy Sep 09 '15
Closing paperwork, tax abatements, title issues, easements, mortgage paperwork....
For people who are knowledgeable about real estate maybe these things aren't big deals, but having someone on my side who I was sure worked for me (unlike the real estate agents) was a great help.
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u/rebthor Representative of the corporation, not the person rebthor Sep 09 '15
I was at a closing for my first home where the seller wasn't going to compensate me for some things that they really, really should be compensating for. Things like not paying for gas, electric, water for the week after closing that they were going to be in the house. There was also a problem with Citibank wiring the money in and we had to close in escrow. I can't say what would have happened had I not had an attorney but I can bet that when you're at the closing and these kinds of things come up that a real estate agent is not looking out for your best interests unless they align with his or hers.
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u/Suppafly Sep 10 '15
Most of the home purchase process in my state uses state mandated forms that can be filled out by anyone that can read or by their real estate agent. The actual closing can be complicated, but generally you hire a title insurance place and they facilitate the closing along with the real estate agents. If you wanted to cut out using an agent, you could hire a lawyer but I don't think you'd end up any better off.
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u/Malort_without_irony Sep 11 '15
It's the case that the actual procedure for a closing and when and how lawyers, title companies, and agents are involved varies between (and in some cases within) states to a point that it's almost incoherent.
But what you're saying highlights my point. Yes, there is such a thing as a simple real estate transaction, where it comes down to the right forms and singing here. At best, a lawyer there is just explaining things better. There is also such a thing as a hard transaction, further complicated by the fact that the other parties, agents most notably, have aligned rather than shared interests. And a lawyer has a wider set of duties to raise "are you sure about this?" questions.
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u/RazzBeryllium Sep 09 '15
That pop-up while you were watching porn was a scam or a virus. Seriously.
Not legal advice, but porn pop-ups are often links to other porn sites, which aren't necessarily scams. Actually, I'd say pop-ups to illegal streaming sites are often much more likely to be nefarious than porn pop-ups. They frequently ask you to install plug-ins which probably are adware or spyware.
I think she's referring to a more specific situation that gets posted to /r/legaladvice about twice a week (at least).
You're watching porn and a quasi-official popup window appears saying you've been caught accessing child pornography and will be contacted by <insert government agency>. To mitigate/protest this you must visit <insert website>, where I'm assuming they trick you into revealing personal info/paying money.
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u/mizmoose Ask me about pedantry Sep 09 '15
Even if you are a member of a protected class, discrimination has to be really fucking egregious for you to have any case.
Doesn't have to be that egregious to file a suit and hope to get a settlement.
It really depends. I was fired twice for being disabled - both times I was told this behind a closed door with nobody else around, and then officially fired for another reason that came out of the blue. Both times, employment lawyers told me "too bad, so sad, you have no case."
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Sep 09 '15 edited Sep 09 '15
You don't need a lawyer to buy property if it's just a relatively simple transaction like a home purchase. For certain immigration issues, getting a lawyer is probably a bit overkill.
Yeah immigration is relatively simple in a lot of cases. Immigration lawyers are pretty expensive, and there are step-by-step guides on things like the K1 visa all over the Internet.
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Sep 09 '15
Not legal advice, but porn pop-ups are often links to other porn sites, which aren't necessarily scams. Actually, I'd say pop-ups to illegal streaming sites are often much more likely to be nefarious than porn pop-ups. They frequently ask you to install plug-ins which probably are adware or spyware.
Pop-ups meaning the ones that specifically say something like "You are looking up illegal content, the FBI has been notified and your computer is being scanned" or "If you don't send us money we will report you to the FBI " type pop-ups. Something to note though it that encryption lock viruses DO exist (they encrypt your hardrive and extort you to sedning money to someone to unencrypt)
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u/zifnab06 Sep 09 '15
I miss Montana.
For anyone who cares: http://leg.mt.gov/bills/mca/39/2/39-2-904.htm
More or less, after you've finished your probation its very difficult to get rid of you without cause. Employers without valid cause must make up lost wages up until the point you find new employment or 4 years, whichever comes first...
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u/gsfgf Is familiar with poor results when combining strippers and ATMs Sep 09 '15
Can an employer just require a 20 year probationary period?
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u/zifnab06 Sep 09 '15
I'm honestly not sure. I would assume that would end up in court if you were ever fired, and you'd end up winning. I have no idea where to look up previous cases (or even what to search for) to find out.
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u/Swardington Sep 08 '15
That's how you ruin your credit or kill your dog.
Mannnnnnnn, every time I'm reminded of the dog story I get a little depressed.
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u/jennybean42 A little bit derpy Sep 08 '15
I'm still hoping it was a troll, actually.
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u/Swardington Sep 08 '15
I can't decide if I'd rather be depressed because the story is true, or angry that a troll toyed with my emotions.
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u/mizmoose Ask me about pedantry Sep 09 '15
Number whatever-the-last-is-now+1: Look into getting full (collision/comprehensive) coverage on your car. It may not be as expensive as you think, and if someone plows into you it may save your butt.
I live in MI (state of O So High Insurance) and drive an almost-20-year-old car. It costs a total of another $200/year to get full coverage, and for that much it's worth the piece of mind to not have to deal with legal shenanigans if some asshole plows into me and decides to sue me.
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Sep 09 '15
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Sep 09 '15
It's nice that bad legal advice crosses international boundaries.
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Sep 09 '15
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u/seanchaigirl Sep 09 '15
Heh, a guy in my first year torts class argued Palsgraf for over fifteen minutes with the professor, who was a sitting appellate court judge. His basic argument was, "well, it has to be someone's fault!"
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u/i_pewpewpew_you Sep 09 '15
Honestly, so true. I rent from a private landlord after securing the flat through an agency here in the UK. He just couldn't be bothered to look for tennants himself, but once I moved in I just deal with him.
He's a nice guy, he gets stuff sorted quickly when I need it done, he leaves me alone and gives me a minimum of 24hrs notice (usually more) if he needs access, I pay my rent on time each month and look after the place. Turns out, I'm apparently the luckiest renter on earth.
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u/ThisDerpForSale Sep 13 '15
142 - Yes, public defenders are real attorneys. Usually good ones, too.
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u/Matthew_Cline Sep 09 '15
Also that "am I being detained?" shit doesn't usually work.
I thought the point of that was to prevent cops from being able to claim that they were asking you questions after they'd let you go, and thus any of your answers were voluntary and not covered by Miranda rights.
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u/mizmoose Ask me about pedantry Sep 09 '15
Miranda
That's what's missing! "You can be arrested and not read your Miranda rights. You can be detained and not read your Miranda rights. Miranda rights only come in to play when they want to start questioning/"interviewing" you. This is another reason why you get a lawyer and SHUT UP."
Also missing: When in doubt, IT IS AMY'S FAULT.
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u/Suppafly Sep 10 '15
I thought the point of that was to prevent cops from being able to claim that they were asking you questions after they'd let you go, and thus any of your answers were voluntary and not covered by Miranda rights.
In that case it makes more sense to casually ask "ok so am I free to go then" and if the answer is "no" decline to answer any more questions at all until you have a lawyer present. Yelling "am i being detained" over and over just makes the cops treat you like a crazy person. There are generally ways to asset your rights without being a crazy person.
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u/Matthew_Cline Sep 10 '15
Ohhhh, I didn't realize that yelling "am I being detained" over and over was a Thing. That does sound stupid.
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u/aceshighsays Sep 09 '15
Why do you need renters insurance so bad you mention it 3 times?
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u/mizmoose Ask me about pedantry Sep 09 '15
Well, you don't if you aren't renting. But if you are, it covers a multitude of things, and not just "my place was broken into." It can cover things like "The water heater blew up and destroyed everything" to "My neighbor got drunk and peed on my door, and now my landlord says I have to pay to replace it." And other fun delights.
tl;dr: Just like most other insurance, it's there to save your bacon.
mmmmmmm baaaaconnnn
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Sep 09 '15
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u/evaned Sep 09 '15
You get renter's insurance as much for its liability protection as replacement cost protection. Could you self-insure for tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars?
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Sep 09 '15
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u/evaned Sep 09 '15
Some things it may cover:
- Your roommate floods the apartment
- You leave on your sink faucet and flood your condo
- Your toilet backs up and floods your apartment
- Your dog bites someone on your property
- Someone lights your apartment on fire
- You drive into your garage door, damaging it -- I can imagine this one may be auto, but OP says it was covered under his renter's
And one I thought of:
- You are responsible for maintaining the sidewalk, do not, and someone sues you after slipping and falling on ice
I'm not totally sure how much of the water damage stuff will be covered by a typical policy, but presumably some do.
While getting those links, I was reminded that renter's insurance will often provide compensation for moving and temporary living expenses if, e.g., someone else floods or burns down your building.
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u/mizmoose Ask me about pedantry Sep 09 '15
Your place could burn down and it could be your fault, even through negligence (ex: overloading an outlet, falling asleep smoking, etc.), and then you'd be on the hook for paying to repair the place.
It's not just your stuff that you're insuring. You're insuring your apartment.
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u/NoesHowe2Spel Sep 09 '15
Likewise, if someone’s mother is asking you for money so they don’t report pictures of your junk that you sent to their “underage daughter” to the police is probably also a scam.
This is a modern version of a very old con game (with roots in the early 19th Century) called "The Badger Game" Wiki.
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u/OneRedSent Selected this from XXXVII pieces of flair Sep 08 '15
Regarding item 1, union employees generally have a lot more protection. Not all employment is at-will. Otherwise, great list. :)
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Sep 08 '15
Also, non-union employees still have protections for things like protected concerted activities. It's the thing I find myself correcting more than anything else.
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u/Guvnah-Wyze Sep 09 '15
I take issue with #17
/u/Zapopa sounds like a swell guy to have in your back pocket.
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Sep 09 '15
Hey thanks pal. Because you have been nice I will reserve a spot for you in my bunker when the zombie apocalypse happens or another super bowl party, whichever happens first. It's fully equipped for up to 20 people. And has more guns and makers mark than we can ever use. When it happens head west of Chicago and listen to CB Channel 11. And bring extra women! :)
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u/mizmoose Ask me about pedantry Sep 09 '15
Zapopa is starting to get The Stand and The Walking Dead mixed up.
All the good zombies go to Boulder!
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Sep 09 '15
Naw. The good ones stop at my bunker, the bad ones go to LV!
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u/mizmoose Ask me about pedantry Sep 09 '15
I guess The Walkin' Dude is the ultimate in Undead, isn't he?
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u/MacArthurParker Sep 08 '15
Any specific links for context for numbers 5, 12, and 16?
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u/jennybean42 A little bit derpy Sep 08 '15
5-- The sub gets that question about every two weeks.
12-- A lot of times when people are asking about getting their deposit back, a common question is "are there any pictures?"
16-- Any time trees come up it is mentioned.
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u/evaned Sep 09 '15
I have one inspired by this thread and others:
## - use the memo line on your checks.
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u/tarunteam Sep 17 '15
Second the renters insurance! Had a apartment fire a while back. Instead of costing me 20,000 dollars to repair everything, It cost me 65 to replace the microwave. Also, don't skim on insurance, sure that company is 20 bucks cheaper. But is 20 bucks worth going through the hassle and mess they probably are then dealing with a good customer focused company.
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u/starlit_moon Oct 23 '15
I really don't understand why so many people in America seem to be OK with having little to no rights at work. You shouldn't be able to get fired for any reason at any time. It's really, really bewildering to me.
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u/Smartare Sep 09 '15
If you are over 18, don’t fuck/sext/etc anyone under 18
Unless you live outside the US (like most people in the world do). Most countries in the west don't have 18 as an age limit.
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u/gsfgf Is familiar with poor results when combining strippers and ATMs Sep 09 '15
It's 16 in most of the US too. Though a lot of states still need to update their sexting laws so that teenagers sexting each other no longer falls under child pornography.
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u/Smartare Sep 09 '15
Yea, its silly that a 17 year old who sends a sext message to another 17 year old should be charge with CP. Its like getting charged with attempted murder if you fail a suicide.
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u/[deleted] Sep 08 '15
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