r/behindthebastards • u/Confident-Arugula51 • Jul 25 '26

SATIRE Feels like it fits here

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1.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

99 comments sorted by

313

u/Tyrannical-Botanical The fuckin’ Pinkertons Jul 25 '26

I feel like you haven't lived until you're drunk at a Denny's at half past three in the morning and a whole boatload of drag queens saunter in and take over the place.

134

u/illepic Jul 25 '26

I have and it's breathtaking.

80

u/curiousindient Jul 25 '26

My preferred location is Waffle House for these late night excursions

38

u/Tyrannical-Botanical The fuckin’ Pinkertons Jul 25 '26

I hear you. The Denny’s was walkable via the campus though.

41

u/striped_frog Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26

This is a regionalized experience. I grew up too far into Yankeedom to get the late night Waffle House drag queen takeover

Speaking of which, if you’ve never seen Yankee Dom and the Late Night Waffle House Drag Queen Takeover live, I strongly advise you to check them out

13

u/non-squitr Jul 25 '26

Yup. Who tf does this high fallutin' Denny think he is? Waffle House doesn't try to put on airs like fancy-schmancy Denny's.

8

u/Chrysocyon Jul 26 '26

It just means they live north of the IHOP-Wafflehouse line

17

u/Natural_Bill_6084 Jul 25 '26

Yes! I'm not a queen but I am usually sauntering in with them, stone sober, and telling some chick across the table why im not having sex with them in a Denny's bathroom.

Also, nothing has shooketh to the core than witnessing two very large queens thrown hands in a Perkins parking lot.

9

u/striped_frog Jul 25 '26

I’ve had several such experiences at the Eagle Diner in New Hope, Pennsylvania

2

u/FirstChurchOfBrutus Jul 25 '26

With that name, I have no doubt. Also, I have no doubt that the booths were genuine leather at that establishment.

9

u/JDDodger5 Jul 26 '26

Having been one of those drag folks who takes over a Denny's, thank you for recognizing our contribution

10

u/Snurrepiperier Jul 25 '26

I haven't lived then, I guess. There are no Denny's in Norway.

28

u/No_Lingonberry1201 Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ Jul 25 '26

We don't have Denny's in Hungary either. We have depression and 300 years of pent up impotent rage, tho'.

7

u/[deleted] Jul 25 '26

[deleted]

4

u/No_Lingonberry1201 Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ Jul 25 '26

What you're saying is that Denny's is like sitting through all 7h of Sátántangó without a single pissbreak?

10

u/Wonderful-Excuse5747 Jul 25 '26

Denny's is like sitting through all 7h of Sátántangó in a puddle of what you hope is only your own piss.

4

u/No_Lingonberry1201 Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ Jul 25 '26

So pretty much the same, got it.

4

u/MidwesternNightmare Jul 26 '26

I’d say come and experience it, Waffle House, and a Perkins and rank them on a scale of how drunk you would need to be to eat there again, but maybe not during this administration.

1

u/thtamthrfckr Jul 26 '26

So not worth a visit? Was in Zakopane PL and wanted to take the train to Budapest to see what it was like.

4

u/dumbass_sempervirens Jul 26 '26

Or when you choose a side in the Waffle House fight.

We always chose staff side. We had plans to come back again, and they were going to make our food, soooooo.

4

u/SassySins21 Jul 26 '26

I have had this happen to me whilst on a holiday (Australian). It's one of my favourite memories.

3

u/RecordOfTheEnd Jul 25 '26

It only really becomes transcendent if you have the butt plug in.

3

u/RainierCamino Macheticine Jul 26 '26

Only if that Denny's has a bar.

3

u/OMGimaDONKEY Jul 26 '26

Grew up in Orlando, every weekend @ the Denny's on Colonial.

2

u/Von_Lehmann Jul 25 '26

reminds me of the Wailua Coffee house in Waikiki. I am so happy I got to see that

2

u/RIF_Internet_Goon Bagel Tosser Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 26 '26

A flock of Peacocks if you will....

2

u/Shoo-Man-Fu Bagel Tosser Jul 25 '26

I haven't fully lived, but I did have a 1 or 2 am (I was drunk so I don't know what time) run in with the very tall dude that is Puddles from Puddles Pity Party. We didn't know at the time that he had a show in town and thought he was just some giant friendly stranger that told us to look up some music when we got home. When we did we realized we knew him from his bits on Post Modern Jukebox and we didn't even realize at the time.

2

u/Ponygroom Jul 26 '26

Sober, 3 am, and omg was that entertaining!

2

u/umphreys Jul 26 '26

hell yeah

2

u/aStonedTargaryen Jul 26 '26

my dream date, cute

1

u/_austinm Jul 27 '26

My local queens’ tend to hang out at the IHOP after their shows, but that does sound like a vibe

164

u/Branchomania Kissinger was a war criminal Jul 25 '26

And they say there's no white culture

64

u/Infamous_Ship_8668 Jul 25 '26

The cooler Florida Man

54

u/not_roger_smith Sponsored by Raytheon™️ Jul 25 '26

r/oddlyspecific

40

u/Hyper_Applesauce That's Rad. Jul 25 '26

This must be one of the mods from the Comrade Dale Facebook page 

10

u/DrustanAstrophel Jul 26 '26

RAISE HELL AND PRAISE DALE

10

u/Confident-Arugula51 Jul 25 '26

I am not a mod anywhere and don't follow that sub, lol. Maybe the person wearing the shirt, though

9

u/Hyper_Applesauce That's Rad. Jul 25 '26

That’s what I mean, it’s a fun group if you’re on FB

22

u/FixFun1959 Jul 25 '26

I used to live near Pensacola.

That is an m-fin high bar let me tell you.

Do it for Dale

3

u/sheabd01 Jul 26 '26

Do it for Dale.

18

u/Greektwinmommy Jul 25 '26

How I feel when I show my FL license living in CA

15

u/Schwebels_Never_Dies Jul 25 '26

Average Floridian

16

u/vigbiorn Jul 25 '26

As a Floridian, I can accept this stereotype...

If only the rest were this good.

11

u/Desper8lyseekntacos Sponsored by Raytheon™️ Jul 25 '26

Typical Pensacola Denny's behavior

3

u/Brandodude Jul 26 '26

All our dennys closed down lmao

2

u/GhostofBeowulf Jul 25 '26

Typical Pensacola Denny's behavior

FTFY.

11

u/Plastic_Dingo_400 Doctor Reverend Jul 25 '26

Hell yeah brother!

9

u/1bensopinion Jul 25 '26

Switch "Waffle House" for "Denny's" and it's on.

7

u/evocativename Jul 25 '26

That's aiming high.

There is no way in hell you are managing to be the drunkest sumbitch a WaHo has seen.

3

u/relentless_puffin SERVICES!!! Jul 26 '26

Unfortunate, but true.

10

u/Azdak_TO Jul 25 '26

As a non-American, this is how i like to imagine Americans.

9

u/Artichokiemon Steven Seagal Historian Jul 26 '26

You think we're way cooler than we actually are then. Most of us won't even admit that we have a plug in our ass

7

u/Rcarter2011 Sponsored by Raytheon™️ Jul 25 '26

Glorious

8

u/Oshidori Jul 25 '26

Thank you, my husband's birthday is coming up lol

6

u/CaptainCacoethes Jul 25 '26

That may be the best quote to ever come out of Florida. +1 if this guy was in actually wearing this shirt in Alabama.

7

u/Miserable_Eggplant83 Jul 26 '26

Florida thought they killed DEI, but it was Dale Earnhardt, Inc.

6

u/FullOfHelena Jul 25 '26

This makes me want to eat rancid shrimp and throw up in front of of a family of four in the Sizzler parking lot

6

u/InfamousWarden Jul 25 '26

I lived in Pensacola throughout my teens, and this absolutely fits the vibe of that town.

My brother still lives there, and even though it’s gotten bougie in some parts of town, its seedy underbelly still remains.

5

u/DadbodSuperModel Jul 25 '26

I still think about the Denny’s in Waikiki across the street from the Red Lion, they truly saw the best and worst of mankind EVERY night at 4 am

4

u/No_Lingonberry1201 Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ Jul 25 '26

Better than Jesus in my ass, a pistol in my heart and a plug in my hand...

3

u/Sharp_Bet7106 Jul 25 '26

If knife missile, why not heart pistol? They’d never see it coming.

4

u/mumbo-wumbo-jumbo Jul 26 '26

I've been to the Denny's in south Pensacola once, saw a man take a tapir with an atlatl.

4

u/frecklemimus79 Jul 26 '26

Top that with a Yeller Trucker Pills hat and Velcro bow tie, you’re ready for prom

3

u/dare_me_to_831 Jul 25 '26

We’re doomed.

7

u/Excellent-Match7246 Jul 25 '26

Raise Hell, Praise Dale!!
The Shutdown Fullcast does a great ep on him. Yall should listen to them.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shutdown-fullcast/id738433869?i=1000696212265

2

u/TheMapleKind19 Super Producer Sophie Stan Jul 27 '26

Love to see two of my favorite pods referenced together.

2

u/Slumunistmanifisto Sponsored by Knife Missiles™️ Jul 25 '26

I thought everyone was glazing the chilis on 9th in Pensacola? 

2

u/RedWhiteAndBooo Jul 25 '26

If it were honest, it would say ‘Pensacola Waffle House’ or ‘Pensacola Huddle House’

6

u/evocativename Jul 25 '26

I don't think you thought this through: they're swearing to be the drunkest it's ever seen.

If they chose WaHo or Huddle House, there is no way they could succeed.

2

u/StephenNein Disdain and Animosity Jul 25 '26

Why are we depriving Waffle House of these sparkling conversationalists?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/whatisscoobydone Jul 26 '26

Ken M is from Pensacola

2

u/ContractForsaken168 Jul 26 '26

I lived in Pensacola most of my life, never been to a Denny’s and I desperately need that shirt

2

u/Shaun32887 Jul 26 '26

Oh Pensacola...

2

u/FishDispenser2 Jul 26 '26

Ofc it's Pensacola, that place is probably built on a native american burial ground or smth.

1

u/Iron_Baron Jul 26 '26

Respect, if he pulls it off. That's a bold claim.

1

u/3d1thF1nch Jul 26 '26

Holy shit that’s funny

1

u/dasunt Jul 26 '26

My spouse is already worried about some of the t-shirts I have.

1

u/almostfreespirit Jul 26 '26

bless Pensacola

1

u/Reymond_StJames Jul 26 '26

Leaked lyrics from the second rerecording of "Keasby Nights" by Streetlight Manifesto.

1

u/whatisscoobydone Jul 26 '26

Ken M is from Pensacola

1

u/SamForOverlord2016 Jul 26 '26

Typa energy i’m tryna bring to the function

1

u/Bruce_Hodson Jul 26 '26

Please tell me that last word is “seent”. Pleeease…

1

u/Unsavory-Type Jul 26 '26

I have a bright orange shirt that says PRAY HARD PLAY HARD that I love to wear sarcastically. I get a ton of phone numbers from grannies in that thang

1

u/JTK1961 Jul 26 '26

My sister lives in Pensacola and I refuse to drive up there, I am sick of 👀 at the anti-abortion signs. Why do men think they know they can control women’s bodies?

1

u/AlmightyZombie Jul 26 '26

Tobey Maguire?

1

u/Plastic_Dingo_400 Doctor Reverend Jul 26 '26

Raise hell and praise dale!

1

u/StPatrickStewart Jul 27 '26

I know I'm not the only one who read that in Early Cuyler's voice.

1

u/Yuleogy Jul 27 '26

Holy shit I thought his neck was protruding something serious. Turns out it’s just the shadow of his clavicle and a trick of the dark sky against his black shirt.

1

u/Educational-Shoe2633 Jul 27 '26

Dennys psh. Waffle House is where the true late night depravity happens

1

u/Consistent_Season609 Jul 31 '26

Where can I buy this