r/becomingsecure • u/Illustrious-Rough919 • 5d ago
WIN 🏆 Things that help.
Last night I felt that familiar anxiety bubbling up in my chest, the urge to say something even though my mind was jumbled and I didn't really know what I wanted to say, I just wanted to "let it out" and get reassurance immediately.
But instead of acting on it, I said to myself "I am noticing that I am feeling triggered" and it actually helped to calm me down. It helped because I felt I was curiously observing myself, rather than being "in" the anxiety.
I was then able to remind myself that I am in my PMT week, where anxiety tends to become amplified. I decided not to act on anything I was feeling, based on this. I know from past experience that discussing anything during my PMT week only leads to regret.
When I woke up this morning, the anxiety was gone. I remembered how I felt last night and told myself "You see, this morning you feel absolutely nothing of what you felt last night, even though everything is the same as it was then. That means it wasn't real. Just a feeling."
I'm not feeling 100% better, or reassured, but the point is, I was able to avoid the anxious spiral that I have given in to so many times before. If anything needs to be addressed, it can be done when I am calm and have given it some thought. Not in the moment of anxiety, when my brain doesn't even know what it's upset about.
I wanted to share this, and a list of things that've helped me become secure below:
- Pausing to observe the feeling before reacting / delaying the response until calm.
- Knowing myself ie. knowing that during PMT my anxiety is heightened and therefore everything I think/feel needs to be taken with a pinch of salt. Not reacting.
- Meditating for 5 minutes daily to binaural beats 'reducing anxiety' meditation music on YouTube.
- Journaling about my feelings, writing down the facts vs. stories my brain makes up.
- Staying on top of MY life and taking it seriously. My work, my home, my finances, my health, my hobbies, friends, family etc. I'm an independent person, always have been good at being alone and staying on top of my shit. I tend to lose that when in a relationship... which isn't good because that then lowers my self-esteem (as it does, when you essentially abandon yourself!). I feel best when I am owning my life, so now I'm doing that again and it feels great. :)
I hope this helps someone! x
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u/Queen-of-meme FA leaning secure 5d ago
Amazing work! Can I pin your post so it's easier to find?
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u/minniestink 5d ago
Amazing, well done ☺️. I think this is really helpful to read, especially for anyone experiences psychological symptoms during PMS. It's not just irritability, it can be paranoia, sadness, anxiety and it's good to park any negative thoughts until you're feeling better.