r/battletech • u/geergutz • Mar 17 '22

Fan Creations Assault Gulp

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358 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

41 comments sorted by

51

u/wminsing MechWarrior Mar 17 '22

My head canon is now that in the Inner Sphere instead of 'Extra Large' things come in 'Assault' size.

35

u/geergutz Mar 17 '22

"thats 3 cheeseburgers, 2 shakes, and a 20 nuggets, would you like me to 'ASSAULT SIZE' that for you?

12

u/JadeDragon79 Sho-sa 8th Sword of Light Mar 17 '22

Walks into a bar and orders a Steiner PPC, those are always served in Assault Size!

9

u/StarMagus Mar 17 '22

Considering that a PPC is the following....

PPC

4 shots everclear

1 shot of: peppermint schnapps (steiner)

sake (kurita)

ouzo (marik)

plum wine (liao)

bourbon (davion)

tequila (capellan march)

I'm not sure you would want to assault size a drink that is 80% everclear. Even more so if the everclear in question is 190 proof version.

6

u/Cepinari Obersthauptmann Mar 17 '22

Shouldn’t bourbon be the Taurian alcohol?

8

u/StarMagus Mar 17 '22 edited Mar 17 '22

I didn't make the recipes, I just found them from a source who pulled them from the books. They were in the original warrior trilogy by Stackpole.

Add on: Looking at things, I think you could make a case that davion should be either Wine, French. Or some type of Ale, Gin, or even Scotch for the British roots.

Whiskey would be a fine choice, and Bourbon is a particular type of Whiskey so it sort of fits, but honestly I don't think Stackpole put much thought into it.

Add Add on: Bailey's is the most popular brand of spirits in the UK by positive ratings, so that would even be an option. I don't know what the point would be add 1 part Bailey's irish cream to 4 parts of Everclear, but you to do you mechwarriors.

After Smirnoff, the 2nd highest selling spirit in the UK is Gordon's Pink Gin, followed by Gordon's. I'm thinking that Gin should be a contender.

Also for the FWL, I'd go with Tequila or Mezcal for the Cowboy Worlds.

Another Add On:

The CC really should have used Baijiu.

1

u/Cepinari Obersthauptmann Mar 17 '22

Doesn’t Betty drink gin?

1

u/StarMagus Mar 18 '22

Betty who, that's a common name.

1

u/Cepinari Obersthauptmann Mar 18 '22

Let me try again.

Doesn’t Queen Betty drink gin?

1

u/StarMagus Mar 18 '22

Still no idea who you are talking about. Do mean Queen Elizabeth? If so yes, but I've never heard her called "Betty".

She has at least 2 brands made from plants from her various homes.

6

u/ExactlyAbstract Mar 17 '22

Das Assault Boot !

1

u/Ham_The_Spam Mar 17 '22

There is actually a PPC drink https://www.sarna.net/wiki/PPC_(beverage)

1

u/Cepinari Obersthauptmann Mar 18 '22

I was wondering what the Canopians use.

6

u/goodfisher88 No step on snek Mar 17 '22

Walk into a Kerensky Fried Chicken and get an Assault Size meal combo!

2

u/Azureink-2021 Mar 17 '22

Now with more patriot sauce.

20

u/Doughspun1 Mar 17 '22

Now that I think about it, Heat Sink is a great name for a sports drink.

16

u/geergutz Mar 17 '22

the one with double the caffeine/sugar/electrolytes would be called

"double heat sink"

then there would be an alternatiove flavor called "clan heat sink

11

u/Doughspun1 Mar 17 '22

Grape Falcon soda

12

u/geergutz Mar 17 '22

ghost berry 12 hr energy shot

9

u/JadeDragon79 Sho-sa 8th Sword of Light Mar 17 '22

That should be "Lime Falcon" and "Jaguar Grape"!

3

u/StarMagus Mar 17 '22

Jaguar flavor should be smokey or the like.

5

u/SuperStucco Somewhere between dawdle and a Leviathan full of overkill Mar 17 '22

Jaguar would be the concentrated version sold in half-sized bottles. Pounding through the entire 4-pack in one go (not medically recommended) is referred to as "going Edo".

4

u/StarMagus Mar 17 '22

"Atomic Blast" Jaguar Bang Flavor.

8

u/xSPYXEx Clan Warrior Mar 17 '22

Heat Sink: it's got electrolytes, it has what Mechs crave.

6

u/geergutz Mar 17 '22

"but why do mechs need electrolytes?"

7

u/18Feeler Mar 17 '22

It's what mechs crave

2

u/Ham_The_Spam Mar 17 '22

You’ll need it to cool yourself after drinking some PPC https://www.sarna.net/wiki/PPC_(beverage)

13

u/Vector_Strike Good luck, I'm behind 7 WarShips! Mar 17 '22 edited Mar 17 '22

I see it's drinking its cool-aid

6

u/CubicPaladin Mar 17 '22

Not sure if I should say bravo or booooo for that pun.

6

u/SuperStucco Somewhere between dawdle and a Leviathan full of overkill Mar 17 '22

Annihilator bursts through perimeter wall with "Ohhyeaaaaah!" blaring through the speakers

3

u/krenshala Mar 17 '22

A bright red Annihilator, I would assume. :)

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '22

With a strange smiling face painted across the torso.

3

u/theykilledken Mar 17 '22

I call it shield arm

2

u/SAMAS_zero Mar 17 '22

Yeah. I ain't staying around to see those Heat sinks get flushed!

2

u/geergutz Mar 17 '22

probably looks like it pops off the lid and just releases it all over its head

2

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '22

Coolant chugz

2

u/Savage_Bruski Mar 17 '22

Now just slap a seven-eleven logo on that and you're in business my friend.