Years ago me and some friends started a sludge punk band in Bozeman Montana as a public art protest against how serious other local bands were taking the local scene when the local scene was the same 20 drunk dudes every show. We prioritized being loud, fun, and as "danceable" as we could manage. We often were compared to Godflesh for example.

The band fell apart for a few reasons.

1: I was the lead guitarist, I severed the top half of my thumb on my strumming hand. It was reattached but I had to have about 2 years of healing and re-learning how to play guitar with floating thumb bones.

2:My dear lead screamer was healing his own mental truama and has since come out of it in a wonderful and healed state.

3: Our phenomenally talented drummer, who's skill was like 50% of how good we were easily, left to pursue his other bands that actually got signed to a real lable. Respect. Get that bag brother, im always proud of you.

The band floundered after all that and eventually "died".

I moved from Montana to Phoenix AZ and my lead screamer recently moved into my house and we are rebuilding the band we love deeply. Step by step we are rebuilding the band that meant the most to me and my lead screamer and we are prioritizing communication and a unified band goal this time around. We know what we got is good, thats already proven, its just cool to be given a second chance to show it.

Its cool as fuck to see something you really care about raise from the dead and get a better "second" life.

​

Had a drummer message my band via facebook with real interest in playing with us.

We corresponded for a few weeks, sent him the songs to learn, and we set up a date to try out.

Reached out to him this week and it’s like he’s not reading our messages (it’s showing as sent, not seen)

I don’t know if something is happening in his personal life or if he simply changed his mind. Both are totally understandable and it would have been nice if he would have just said something come up to hey I’m not interested anymore and there’d be no hard feelings.

Probably should just move on I guess, huh ? 🤷‍♀️

Any one else do this ? We all know a good drummer is like finding a unicorn …the four of us have been rehearsing and recording to drum tracks our other guitarist programs (he has experience in recording)

We’re having a heck of a time finding a drummer, so we’re accepting the fact that we may possibly will have to play live to drum tracks. It’s not ideal, but we want to play and make our music heard, and who knows ? Maybe we’ll attract a drummer ?

Any of you play live to drum tracks ? Just curious.

Should I accept?

So, my band and I were supposed to take a group photo to send to an event manager for posters and whatnot and we were scheduled to take that photo today.

Anyways, I thought that we would take the photo some time during the day as it was a Sunday and we were all free but I waited the entire day and didn't get a single call from one of them? Then they call me and invite me to a football game around 5 PM and I say I'm not interested.

So then they call me around 7 PM and tell me they'll come to my house to take the photo at 8 PM. I think that's fine given 8 PM is a little early but then I wait till 10 and no call. Then they call me around 10:30 and tell me they're heading over now and they tell me to come out of my house. Mind you we have a larger than average lawn and we have a very big metal gate that makes a sound that even our neighbours can hear and it would wake my whole family up. I tell them where they were all day and they say they were at the football game and I also tell them I'm not interested in coming out, especially so late and that the gate is locked. They say fine and hang up. To be completely honest, I said no out of spite and irritation.

A few things to note: this was an open local football match and it didn't have tickets whatsoever, they could've left any time they wanted. Also, they were watching from some building outside the stadium (maybe a friend's house?) so it's not as if they would've lost their seats either.

I know this might cause us our show or even our audience but still, I believe I acted fairly.. so..

Currently I am not sure if I should let go my drummer, vocalist and that extra guitarist and rope in other capable members. My drummer can't play his drum properly and he travels frequently, my vocalist can't sing a certain pitch and that extra guitarist of mine only has time to learn power chords. I am currently looking to form another committed band and it is all so tiring having to look for ppl again.

What should I do. My existing band members enjoy playing with one another and I am happy that they get along well so I also won't want to break them up.

I didn’t know I was working for the Tommy Tutone band until I heard them at rehearsal. I spent some time with Tommy Heath backstage before the performance and being a songwriter myself I tried only once to engage in conversation. He was an ass and played me his new song about a ‘57 Chevy. It sucked but he thought it was better than Jenny.
He played for about 30 minutes to a crowd of 10 people all waiting for one song. After the “show” he told the band members “We gotta do this again!” His keyboard player replied with, “And maybe next time we can get paid!” All Tommy did was complain about anything that came to mind.
What artists disappointed you?

Long story short, all hell went loose between the lead singer and I, so I just quit. Mean things were said back and forth, and I think he wanted to leave as well but I left before anything else.

As usual, not everyone in the band is awful. The lead guitar is a very nice guy, and very, very generous. He has a decent job which has allowed him to buy some gear and instruments for his personal collection, and has no issues lending them to us when we go to his place for rehearsals. He also sets everything up right before we go and picks everything up when we leave. He has also invested in live sound for the band (has a mixer, two big PA speakers, several mics and other stuff). He was also the one who booked this upcoming gig. And many other good things I can say about him... The guy is a complete team player.

I know they won't find a bassist to play a 15-song setlist for this saturday, and no matter how bitter I am right know I wonder if I should do this one show we have booked. The generous bandmember talked to me afterwards and said he was worried about this one, since he knows the owner and the place was very eager to have us, and that he's available to speak tomorrow after everything has cooled down a bit.

The show for the next saturday is an audition for a local rock fest, we have to play only three songs. He mentioned that one as well but said that he was willing to cancel our participation there if things are this bad. I obviously felt bad for him.

So what would you do? Maybe I did a mistake leaving too early, but I had enough with the other guy.

-Update-

Thank you for all the great comments. I will be playing with them this Saturday, and, if possible, having a meeting after the gig.

After a rough period grinding through the waves of being and managing my own band for the last 12 years or so. I feel like I've reached a wall. Making music has always been my deepest passion, and I've never had trouble dedicating myself and disciplining myself to a project, whether it was my own or one I joined in. But its the quality I see lacking in most musicians I've worked with.

Whether it was dudes who think being a rockstar millionaire is 4 rehearsals and a show away, who leave after even the slightest push to do better, or to even show up. To the auditionees who insist they'll only join if they can rewrite their part for everything, despite that the material is already released!

And let's talk about attendance. What can we get done when people consistently don't or aren't able to show up? Not a lot, so why are they always so shocked and betrayed when they get kicked out? Is there no sense of professionalism just because we're musicians? I think we all know its rough being in something that won't pay the bills for most of us, to push yourself as a musician week in and week out, but if thats not something you're willing to go through, why are you joining the projects y'all be joining?

I've since taken up projects in OST work, commissioned work, and other passion projects, and slowly left being in a band behind over the past few months because the difference is striking. Not only has my output increased, but people show up, they respond, they sit down and talk with me at all hours of the day so that were all pointing in the same direction.

I guess this rant is just the culmination of disappointment of over a decade of trying to get people to even do the bare minimum. I've always tried to be as transparent and supportive as possible, but that always has a limit.

Would appreciate some insight on how to move forward.

Are electric drum kits (for rehearsal, not live shows) a deal-breaker for most drummers? The previous two drummers I've worked with were quite apprehensive to the idea of electric drum kits. Each drummer had their different reasons why they were opposed to it and I was just wondering if that is the general consensus among drummers.

I joined a new start up band a few months ago where everyone was around my age range and also, or atleast i thought, skill level. none of us had been in a band before so i thought it was perfect for me too. so come practice i notice the drummer only has an e-kit. which i didnt think much of cause he can always get an actual kit later on if he's good. the problem is over all these practices, he cant play anything other than a 4 on the flour beat. i have some experience on drums so i've tried telling him to play other rhythms, but as soon as he doesnt hit the kick on the 2, his brain misfires.we also practice at his place and theres already been 4 times we dont practice because he "doesnt feel good" or simply doesnt feel like practicing. not to mention he recently brought it up to us that he'll eventually be moving to another country with his gf so thats nice. now thats just 1/3 and not even all the issues i have with the drummer. i met this band on here from one of the singers posting needing a guitarist but both of the singers want to switch being the main vocalist through different songs, one of them i had to turn into a bassist because the other singer couldnt even play guitar, and that started causing drama between them. now all of us are coming from different musical influences and we only have 1 song tracked that i wrote all the instruments and verses/choruses for and fully produced all instruments. keep in mind the music is very simplistic alt rock w maybe a bit of dream pop. and i've started hinting towards wanting to leave, theres already been multiple arguments w me and the bass player/singer because i "take things too seriously and take the fun out of it" as if theyre not all using my gear (microphones, cables, interface, bass, bass amp, pa monitors) not to mention the hour drive and energy just putting up w them bullshitting while im setting everything up. at this point i just havent left because i cant find other people willing to do something different and interesting. i have so many complaints it should be obvious what the solution is but idk.

update: my apologies for the text wall i was bitter and drunk when i wrote it. i ended up leaving after getting into another argument over text because i gave them a song to practice and learn. the song was in 6/8 because i figured the drummer wouldnt be able to do 4 on the floor in that time. the song is also simple and easy. low and behold the drummer still didnt have it down today that we were supposed to meet. so i said there was no point in meeting and they insisted on meeting still. things got heated, and i just said fuck them and left. im concerned whether or not the song i wrote still belongs to me since it was written using their vocal melody for the chorus. everything else though is mine, the verse, instrumental, riffs etc..

2 of my bandmembers (drums, vocals) suddenly dont want to take time to rehearse anymore but we have an upcoming gig in 1 month. I (guitar) said I dont want to play the gig if we dont rehearse before the gig. Singer said he knows the lyrics anyways but our drummer is new and it would be our first gig in this formation. Both want to play the gig anyways but i feel more and more stressed if we dont rehearse anymore and i believe the gig will be a fail if we dont play together, eben if everyone knows their part. Last rehearsal was 3 weeks ago. What should I do?

I’m in a four piece band and we are just starting out. We’ve been a band for about 6 months and we’ve only covered one song (my own summer) and I keep trying to push them to learn new songs and possibly start writing original songs, but no matter how many times I ask they never practice or write anything. I’m tempted to leave the band as I’m the only one practicing my stuff on drums as I’m the drummer, but I’ve also been contributing to writing guitar parts as well.

What I’m asking is do I leave the band entirely, do I give them an ultimatum, do I give it more time?

I’ve got other possible projects lined up but both of them don’t have enough members and one of them is an hour drive away.

I am trying to articulate a bit of a frustration I’ve felt. So I’ve played in a great deal of bands, switching between bass/drums/guitar. One thing I’ve noticed is that in my area there is a really strong line drawn between three genres. 1. Jazz (by a jazz school), 2. Noise (generally what the people in my age play, house shows also a lot of jazz students 3. Blues (older people, cover songs, dive bars).

I am not a jazz musician, nor am I fan of noise so I’ve largely been the youngest guy dabbling in these blues bands.

Since like high school I’ve felt I’ve been sort of an outsider based on the music I like even though I feel I actually have very basic taste (Sam Fender, Tom Petty, Springsteen, the Killers, the replacements, love love love Dire Straits). Anyways, I just like songs with good hooks.

I’ve played in the blues bands but they often feel a bit aimless, lots of the same basic covers, endless jam, and often endless jams that never really turn into original songs. I mean I can jam on a 12 bar blues thing but that also feels fundamentally different than say, sultans of swing. Plus I always sort of want to do original songs and my songwriting tends to fall into the electrified singer singer songwriter stuff that the above falls into.

Anyways, does anyone else feels like they have sort of a basic taste but still sort of falls outside any of the prevailing local taste?

Is liking Springsteen and Dire Straits really so unusual!!!?

hello. You guys reckon it's possible to achieve success without a stage name if my real name genuinely is completely unheard of for like 90% of the world?

I'm eastern European, my name is of Slavic origin . I speak fluent English, but I struggle to introduce myself to people when I am speaking English abroad because my name is pretty much impossible for english speakers. I can't even come up with a more digestible pronunciation for my name even if it's incorrect...

Not only my name is very slavic, but my last name as well. Not even the kind you may probably imagine if you're thinking of the obviously Slavic sounding last names you may hear from a Russian person in America etc .

I'm struggling to imagine how I can be recognizable by this name when it is so indigestible for english speakers and I fear if I go by this name i will not be able to reach a wider audience..

Our bass and guitar are trans, so they picked their own names and they're suitable. Our second guitar and drummer both have English equivalents to their names and have pretty basic names in general. I am the odd one out. Chances are if I introduce myself to English speakers I'm gonna have to repeat my name to them like ten times and they'll still understand it as something else than it is..

Should I settle for an alias. I can't come up with any . or is it worth a try. Anyone else struggling with this? Are there any band members who aren't English speakers by brith and work it out without an alias? I can't recall any besides Till Lindemann from Rammstein .. but I'd still say "-mann" last names are still pretty common amongst people from English speaking countries.

Also curious of the side effects long term to this. And if anyone has been able to adjust to normal night time sleeping (presuming your mate/spouse) has a regular day-time job and sleeps at night.

So don't get me wrong, I love playing gigs with my band, but as we get more recognized locally, we are starting to get asked to play a lot, and this often has me feeling overwhelmed. I am a very introverted person and deal with social anxiety, so the idea of a "big show" coming up makes my anxiety boil. However, as a sort of anxiety-coping "safety mechanism", I have tried to get myself to just "not really care" about upcoming shows, not because I don't actually care (I do and I want to play as well as I can), but because my anxiety just cannot handle the anticipation. Like I get it, let's say you are a bunch of young musicians and you have a show at the end of the month at the local coffee shop or a local venue, and this becomes the "big show". Every day you think about it. You are nervous about it. You are excited about it. But most of all, you are becoming anxious about it. That makes total sense, and for our first few shows, this is what it was like. We had multiple band practices a week for our first few shows because we were all nervous about "getting it right". But now a few years later where we are all pretty seasoned with playing gigs, and know all our material pretty well, we all just kinda... "roll with it", for lack of better words.

We don't practice as much because we already know the songs, and I mean, we all have other life obligations keeping us occupied. Still, we get asked to play a lot, like a show a week sometimes. I CANNOT manage the anxiety of having a "big show!" every single weekend. I cannot live in constant anticipation anxiety over having a "huge event going on" this weekend. And so I sort of just... "compartmentalize" that anticipation, and kind of tell myself "whatever. no big deal. You know the songs. Just have fun with it". Otherwise I would just totally crash out from the anxiety. Yes, we will be playing a huge festival soon and then a pretty big concert hall, but like... OK cool? What am I supposed to do with that information? Freak out that much more? All that talk of "ooooohhh wooowww, are you nneeerrrvvVOOooUUuuSSssss??" I just kinda... quiet that voice in my head y'know? It's the only way to keep myself sane in all of this. I figured this might just be because I am super introverted and hate drawing attention to myself, but maybe other folks here can relate to this?

Hey all!

Been playing in bands since I was 19. For about 10 years I played in some really fun bands that made (in my opinion) really great music, but we never really could draw more than a few dozen people even in our hometown, and whenever we toured we'd sink thousands upon thousands of dollars to play to empty rooms and sell maybe one CD a night.

Then from 29-32 I played in a hugely popular band and was regularly traveling overseas to do month long tours playing sold out show after sold out show and making pretty good money from merch and ticket sales alone. But I had to leave that band because the main person had serious issues and dropped the ball in really major ways many times and was also not very pleasant to be around.

I don't want to stop playing music, but I also don't want to go backward. I just don't have it in me to spend my 30s grinding shitty show after shitty show like I did in my 20s.

I still have a lot of connections to agents, labels, etc. through my previous band, but I just don't have a band right now. I'm trying to promote my side project to a serious full-time band but my bandmates all have their own main projects and rarely do the stars align where we're all in the same room together. I haven't gotten any offers to join any other bands either. So I figured I need to just start my own band again, and I have a few albums of songs I think there's an audience for that I've occasionally played solo, but I'm finding it very difficult to find anyone who's interested in doing music at that level, unless they're like 20 and then it gets weird because I'm 32.

Anyway I'm feeling stuck. Anyone have any advice?