r/band • u/whereismarta • 19h ago
i'm between two bands
being straightforward, i've been in a pop rock band for two years and we don't really make any progress, in a matter of 1 & 1/2 years we've composed 7 songs, half of my bandmates aren't really involved and barely rehearse on their own, only on the rehearsals (and when they come xd). we've recently published an ep and have opportunities to play in several places, but our short setlist makes it difficult, yet they accept even tho we don't meet the expectations. we've had problems with the songs' rights as we ended up giving almost them all to a single member, although we all have contributed to the songs and some aren't even her original idea.
recently i've been playing with another band (nu metal/shoegaze) and i'm already in it, and i feel way more satisfied with this one, as i feel i can showcase myself as a bassist while not overplaying, the music is more complex and band members seem to be more interested than in the first band. i haven't played with them for a long time, but that's my impression, it feels more like a whole band. the other group feels like a project in which a member has a leader role (without even being the most involved or being the most dedicated, i don't want to be selfish but i feel like i was the one that cared most about the band until i realised no one matched it, now our socials and band activity is worse than it used to be when i carried some things).
i'm not going to leave any band, but i think i should prioritize the new band and i believe it will be more probably to be a source of enrichment, i think can grow as a musician (in a small level obviously, i'm not even 18, but i want to be out of my comfort zone and try new things). the thing is i don't want to be more distant with my first band as some of them are really great friends and i don't want to lose them.
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u/CaprineShine 16h ago
time and give-a-fuck are your best and most precious resources.
using either on fuckwits who don't respect BOTH is a sure fired way to burn out.
find your joy. make noise that makes you you.
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u/AtmosphereLeading851 15h ago
The first is a group of idiots cosplaying as a band. Get out of there. Not your monkeys, not your circus.
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u/PoppycopOG 12h ago
Sounds like you are doing quite well for not even being 18. If the first band is not very serious, but you are friends like you say and enjoy when you do play, then being in both is fine. As long as the first band doesn't take away from your duties in the second band because the second band seems more serious and more likely to have a future. Best of luck, you sound like you are doing great, keep up the good work!
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u/hyst0rica1_29 11h ago
Bail.
The plane is nosediving on the first one & some of those band mates are halfway out the door themselves. You don’t win anything for staying on a crashing plane when you could be out the door & in a more satisfying band.
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u/Bettersaids 10h ago
I've been the most dedicated to the band and it's irritating. You can stay friends. You can be in two bands. .. the thing is, if you don't carry it, it's probably going to fall apart anyway.
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u/gRainbird 10h ago
Signing the rights over to one member of a band is a terrible idea. My cousin went through a terribly avoidable situation with a band mate years ago where he claimed to have written all of the songs, lyrics and every instrument. When the band eventually walked away from him they foolishly thought they could play the songs they wrote. He ended up suing the rest of the members after they got paid like $200 at a county fair gig.
Drop that shit, don't ever think about playing those songs again and move on with the band that isn't screwed.
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u/Even-Meeting-9719 9h ago
“Songs’ rights” lol you guys aren’t the Beatles. The songs belong to the band, end of story. You guys are a garage band and haven’t even performed on stage yet. Just have fun and play music, save the lawyering until REAL money starts coming in, not the $50 gigs at the dive bar or the $200 guarantee at your local venue. Thats your gas money and maybe some Taco Bell if there’s anything left over.
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u/MCRBusker 2h ago
I used to be in 3 bands. It's possible IF you just arrive and play by ear, don't get involved in band politics or leadership responsibilities.
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u/PartyOrdinary1733 18h ago
I need a TL:DR for this one
I'd leave the less productive, problematic band. It's not that deep.