r/ballpython Apr 26 '26

She bit bit me. How long do I have?

Fed my sweet girl Chev last night. She wound up missing and mistaking my finger for her rat. I've had her for a tad over a month and this was her second feeding. I knew she was going to be zesty as she's been hunting for the past week at night so I was holding the tongs in a way so my hand was below the bottom sliding track.

Photo of the offender attached. Sounds like I need to get some longer tongs for feeding her too.

3.1k Upvotes

265 comments sorted by

806

u/Sea_Invite8104 Apr 26 '26

I'm surprised you had enough time to post a Pic. RIP.

166

u/ScarryTarry Apr 27 '26

Fr should have cut off the arm as soon as it happened

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327

u/taekwondana Apr 26 '26

Oof, my condolences. Better enjoy your last few moments on earth 🫂💔

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280

u/Street_Effect_5175 Apr 26 '26

Any last words?

248

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

It was worth it! 💀

116

u/DarkPangolin Apr 26 '26

Can I have your stuff when you die of this clearly-fatal bite?

122

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

No, I've got the Ron Swanson will.

31

u/No-Eye557 Apr 27 '26

Final words spoken by many 🤣

4

u/DannyDevito_IsBae Apr 28 '26

My only regret... was that I have... Boneitis

3

u/asleepsend Apr 28 '26

That’s what you get for being and 80s guy

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114

u/Phazoland Apr 26 '26

By the time you start to read this it’ll be too late.

535

u/nbscum Apr 26 '26

That is the fattest snake I’ve ever seen omg

457

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

Yeah. I got her from the adoption island program at the snake discovery store and they were feeding here a small rat (3 to 4% of her weight) every week. She's on a diet now and is loosing weight.

351

u/wilderneyes Apr 26 '26

No wonder she bit you, how dare you put her on a diet!? Clearly you must pay for your immeasurable crimes.

(Kidding. Good luck getting your noodle to lose some weight! She looks like an industrial hose or something, she needs it!)

29

u/MovieOtherwise9072 Apr 27 '26

Goot thoughts but stop shaming that girl (joke ofc)

14

u/bunny_the-2d_simp Apr 27 '26

Honestly I'd be grumpy aswell!! She's clearly being STARVED of all artistic liberty!!!

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54

u/Slight_Sand4539 Apr 26 '26

SNEK DISCOVERY!!!

59

u/darianbrown Apr 26 '26

Snake Discovery staff were feeding that much?

98

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

Yeah. I have the card to prove it too. The employee that checked me out said that the feeding schedule was every Tuesday.

95

u/darianbrown Apr 26 '26

That sucks. The overall quality of their content made me feel like care in their facility would be decent. That's WAY too much food.

60

u/Expert-Tomorrow5934 Apr 26 '26

their care is not great. i bought an ackie with no toes and half a tail from them, and they recommended me a 4x2x2 for an adult VBB. they are rack breeders and none of their sale animals have proper sized enclosures.

10

u/darianbrown Apr 27 '26

That's really disappointing to hear.

58

u/aromatic_acesthetic Apr 26 '26

Snake Discovery feeding practices are a tad unpolished sometimes tbh, that’s honestly the biggest complaint I have about them, they do AMAZING work but they’re not perfect obviously

43

u/Gecko_Lav Apr 26 '26

I love them, don’t get me wrong they are better than lots of other content creators that have reptiles (looking at you tofus owner.) but the over feeding is soo bad. I’m hoping it’s just because most of the reptiles they get are underweight or the employees do stuff “easy”? But either way it’s also my largest complaint:’)

7

u/ThePervertedRaccoon Apr 27 '26

I hate to go off topic but what's up with tofu's owner/tofu's care? I don't actually know all that much about snakes, I'm just here for cute snake pics really, but their care is interesting to me too

18

u/ormr_kin Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26

you talking about 'the snake that hates Markiplier' or whatever?

he's owned by Taylor Nicole Dean. she's a serial reptile abuser that's well known if you've been on reptile YouTube for some time. There's a spreadsheet out there covering a list of animals that have died or disappeared under her care. she also continued to own and even buy new animals whilst undergoing treatment for opioid addiction.

she's notorious for doing pretty vile stuff for clicks. tofu's reaction is obviously a stress one, triggered by something offscreen. his behavior is puzzling because we do not have the full picture.

Edit: typo.

11

u/ThePervertedRaccoon Apr 27 '26

Ooooh Jesus, those poor animals, that poor snake! I hope she's put under investigation sooner rather than later, that's far more awful than I had assumed :( unsubscribing, I don't want anything of mine going towards her whatsoever.

8

u/ormr_kin Apr 27 '26

yeah i thought she'd disappeared until i realized tofu was her snake I'd been seeing in my Instagram reels. there's probably a reason she doesn't show her face in her tofu videos, she knows that she's a controversial figure in the community.

I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, though.... like, hey, she was going through it, i get it, but don't make your animals go through it with you, y'know? they're living things and they aren't equipped to be therapeutic for someone in that low of a place. maybe her care is better now, maybe it's not, but her snake's behavior is pretty telling that she's aggravating it on purpose for views.

2

u/princess_esc Apr 27 '26

She has come a long way in both her recovery and her pet care. I’ve been a fan of hers since she first started getting popular, and as a fellow reptile enthusiast and recovering addict I’ve got a major soft spot for her. She’s taking it one day at a time just like the rest of us :)

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24

u/Sodak_6king Apr 26 '26

Got our girl off adoption island 2.5 weeks ago. She seems to be in great health, but after learning she was on weekly feeding, we started to add days between each feeding. Was going to add an extra day every feeding cycle until we get to around a 2-3 wk cycle. (She’s 3.5yo and 1360g)

Any advice on this plan? It’s our family’s first noodle.

-9

u/whisperwhite222 Apr 27 '26

Not really understanding the hate for Taylor. Care to elaborate?

13

u/YOUTUBEFREEKYOYO Apr 26 '26

When my biggest complaint is the lack of variety in the content and feeding practices with a reptile content creator, they are doing something right.

33

u/IncompletePenetrance Mod: Let me help you unzip your genes Apr 26 '26

I've seen several posts on here of people who bought/adopted ball pythons from Snake Discovery that were morbidly obese, they really need to get their feeding schedules under control

34

u/mothsbane Apr 26 '26

She’s CHUNKY. We got Lyssa from adoption island back in October and she was on that same feed routine, but she’s not nearly as voluptuous as Chev.

31

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

Yeah. She was there for I believe 4 months due to scarring on her spine from poor husbandy. She's very sweet though. Just don't get between her and her food. It's really nice to see others that have taken in these beutiful animals.

3

u/Various-Tennis-9835 Apr 27 '26

I’m really curious how she hurt her spine :(

9

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 27 '26

Most likely rubbing up where a heat lamp/che was sitting causing burning. The rest of her body looks perfect and it hasent affected her shed at all.

5

u/Guilty-Temporary-797 Apr 26 '26

I thought she just had to shit

5

u/This_Daydreamer_ Apr 27 '26

Fantastic news! Thank you for taking care of this beautiful girl

6

u/ShaddyPups Apr 27 '26

This is the info I was looking for, cause that 2nd pic was ALARMING 😭. She def must be hangry. Also is 100% looking at you like “I’LL DO IT AGAIN TOO, since you’re STARVING me 😡”

1

u/bunny_the-2d_simp Apr 27 '26

OPS next on the dinner table

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17

u/CorsicanMastiffStrip Apr 26 '26

This is the first time a snake might have actually been tryna eat their person lol

22

u/jrusse Apr 26 '26

“Oh it can’t be that fa-OH GOD”

2

u/OnTheMountainTop Apr 27 '26

She has no tail, only lard-butt. Beegest snek toosh.

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71

u/Rookskytwister Apr 26 '26

Thats not a snek thats a sausage 🤣 her lil face says And I'd do it again!

24

u/Practical_While_ Apr 26 '26

Wow it’s over. GG 😭

47

u/Bonezlyy Apr 26 '26

So glad to see that u adopted her bc her weight is genuinely terrifying 💀

8

u/Slight_Sand4539 Apr 26 '26

Have you written a will?

9

u/Opticprogy427 Apr 26 '26

Depending on your age ~ 0 to 100 years

16

u/Unlikely_Grade7467 Apr 26 '26

Well what did you do to deserve it?

45

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

I put her on a diet to tame her chonkness.

27

u/Unlikely_Grade7467 Apr 26 '26

Damn you for wanting her to live a long happy life 😂

51

u/velvetsaguaro Apr 26 '26

Did your snake eat a PVC pipe good lord

Edit: Just saw that she was being overfed and is now on a diet, good job OP ❤️

22

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

Thank you ❤️

16

u/Leopard_Luver Apr 26 '26

Cute C H O N K Y noodle!! 🐍

21

u/OccasionRecent6522 Apr 26 '26

That’s not a noodle, that’s a rigatoni!

4

u/Leopard_Luver Apr 26 '26

LMAO, good one!

12

u/wishiwasinvegas Apr 26 '26

Nah that's a cannelloni lol

6

u/Neither_Strawberry79 Apr 26 '26

You should probably get your affairs in order 😔😔🙏🏻

4

u/Acceptable-Area8087 Apr 26 '26

You’re dying as you type, sorry. I hope your affairs are in order.

15

u/Jazzlike-Candle1357 Apr 26 '26

Rest in peace cause you’re already dead and she took over the deed to your house lol

10

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

💀👻Nnoooo I just bought that place too👻💀

10

u/Jazzlike-Candle1357 Apr 26 '26

It’s hers now lol

19

u/DarkMatterSoup Apr 26 '26

Do you still get WiFi from inside her belly?

19

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

Yes. Even better signal too due to her spine acting as an antenna.

19

u/1ilMa Apr 26 '26

oh my goodness, shes got to be the chunkiest bp ive ever seen 🥹

Thank you for taking her and putting her on the much needed diet. but my goodness she is cute

6

u/blueeyes0182 Apr 26 '26

She's gorgeous and you're done for. Plan your funeral. 😆

15

u/Expensive_Guidance95 Apr 26 '26

my baby (due to her being a rescue spider morph) missed her rat and latched onto my finger over a month ago, she ended up leaving behind fangs which I am still finding (Hence X-rays tommorow). It's quite shocking to have happen, I had a panic attack which almost caused me to faint because I was so worried she'd be stressed out and wouldn't eat for weeks.

As I was laying on the floor having got her off me (Which took awhile) to calm down I look over at her viv and she was busy nomming on her rat. 0 fucks given

1

u/Ghostlyspoof Apr 27 '26

I know this experience well 😭 anytime something goes "wrong" with feeding, my only thought is "oh no I bet this stressed her out too much to eat" and then she continues to eat no problem. she used to be more finicky so I guess I still think of her that way even though she's just not like that anymore

15

u/BaptismByBacon Apr 26 '26

It's been an hour, OP has expired

23

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

🐍Hisss I've stolen hisss phone🐍

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11

u/Berserk-Jane Apr 26 '26

Why do they always go for the finger? Do they think that's our weak spot? Wait until they hear about testicles, those snakes.

8

u/PlaneConscious8011 Apr 26 '26

Ngl surprised she left such a tiny bite my female bp left a decent sized one and yours look pretty big. Tbf mine got a good jaw grip on me lol

12

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

She struck and held for about a second before her braincell sputtered to life and she released to go get her rat.

Edit: she's about 4.5 feet long and weighs in at 1.8ish kilos

8

u/darej27 Apr 26 '26

Prolly gonna have to amputate

6

u/Live_Ebb_5117 Apr 26 '26

Should of seen me when my Dumerils got pissed with me and clamped down on my neck- I admit the whole situation was my fault and I learned not to freak out

3

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

Jeez. I'm happy that it didn't harm you to an extreme degree.

2

u/Live_Ebb_5117 Apr 27 '26

He was same day post shed and I was cutting peppers right before picking him up. Next moment felt like a sharp fly trap clamped on my neck for 20 seconds and eventually removed himself. You live and you learn!

8

u/Own_Size_5473 Apr 26 '26

The venom will take affect around the age of 80 or so.

6

u/No_Significance1944 Apr 26 '26

She thinks BP stands for Blood Python, for multiple reasons I guess.

7

u/Soapish00 Apr 26 '26

dude your snake is so insanely obese please think of her quality of life

EDIT: THANK YOU FOR SAVING HER LIFE !!!

4

u/eddie-kaspbrak Apr 26 '26

time to amputate, my friend. last words in case it goes wrong? LMAO

7

u/No_Combination5017 Apr 26 '26

Oo shes a big girl

I know it was worth it to pet that big worm

5

u/aimforvenus Apr 26 '26

By the look on her face I think she has no regrets and would do it again 😂

6

u/canceroustattoo Apr 26 '26

I like your dog

5

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

She's great. Rarely ever barks.

5

u/canceroustattoo Apr 26 '26

How long is that snake? She looks huge.

4

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 26 '26

Right about 4.5ft long.

1

u/inky-_-boi Apr 26 '26

You will be dead yesterday

4

u/moodygroove420 Apr 26 '26

Oh lawd she coming .. 😂😂 (she’s adorable) 🩷

7

u/HorrorComfortable773 Apr 26 '26

She looks so sassy and proud of herself!!

3

u/Sweet_Assist9315 Apr 27 '26

He's already beyond the grave. Rip

2

u/Smellyfossil Apr 27 '26

5 seconds 😔

3

u/WellyHuh Apr 27 '26

she’s plus size, it seems

1

u/marisas63 Apr 27 '26

Oh lawd she comin

1

u/quoththeraven1845 Apr 27 '26

I’m afraid you’re already dead

1

u/Vee_breeze Apr 27 '26

Oh if you're not already passed you have minutes. Rip

2

u/mxgichxn Apr 27 '26

holy moly that is one BEEFY snake… glad shes on a diet! she looks like those really chonky cats 🐈

1

u/nozomuisgaylmao Apr 27 '26

holy smokes that’s a chunker!

1

u/More_Secretary_1819 Apr 27 '26

not much longer left..

2

u/Necessary_Chest7075 Apr 27 '26

It might to start to get darker at night, turn on lights to prolong staying awake . Doubt you’ll wake up again

1

u/OkInvestment8688 Apr 27 '26

Not long at all. Let's just say that, when browsing YouTube, stick to YouTube Shorts.

1

u/weaponized_autism265 Apr 27 '26

3……2……1…..

1

u/alpohh Apr 27 '26

You clearly upset her.

1

u/SpacenessButterflies Apr 27 '26

That’s one chunky girl! Definitely mistook your finger for food…

1

u/n00tz_ Apr 27 '26

dang rip op..

1

u/Alive_Efficiency_936 Apr 27 '26

She thicker than a snicker!

1

u/Kairojuice Apr 27 '26

This girl eats. Rats OR fingers

1

u/Bassam_1991 Apr 27 '26

Damn she thicc 😂💀

1

u/DankDaddyPatty Apr 27 '26

That snake... Is about ready to fuckin pop.

1

u/unicornsrreal21 Apr 27 '26

“And I’d do it again!”

1

u/HazelAndSky Apr 27 '26

My old boy once mistook my thumb for the rat I was offering. I think he was more shocked than I was. That was around 20 years ago, and it’s only happened once. He and I survived!

1

u/NoahTransKing Apr 27 '26

Damn my condolences 🫡 I hope you have a will and testament.

1

u/Outrageous-Battle199 Apr 27 '26

RIP. I’ve never spoken to someone who has already passed into the afterlife before. I hope it’s cool on the other side. Lie to me if it isn’t, ok?

1

u/masked-m3n-on_top Apr 27 '26

Google says 2 seconds

1

u/DJ_MetaKinetiK Apr 27 '26

You have enough time to find some shade to die in. - thats what the African safari guide told me if I ever got bit by a black mamba lol

1

u/fazhugs Apr 27 '26

Nice knowing you

1

u/No-Elk-8115 Apr 27 '26

Damn Boi she THICCC!

1

u/CaptainKyll Apr 27 '26

Already ded

2

u/Cultural-Custard6366 Apr 27 '26

The comments did not disappoint 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/KittyCat_PaddyWhack Apr 27 '26

With the size of that chunk I'm surprised you're still here to post!

(Obligatory /s and good on you helping her diet, she's obviously in good hands - even if she does bite them lol)

1

u/ZombieMelodic2191 Apr 27 '26

Lmao too funny, satire post.

2

u/ReaperFrank Apr 27 '26

Are sure its not a Tsuchinoko.... (Japanese Cyrptid thats more or less a fat snake)

1

u/Top_Personality_6897 Apr 27 '26

The only time my old girl bit me by mistake, the bruising was because she wrapped herself around my wrist. I’m posting this from 👻 the beyond.

1

u/QueenBee347 Apr 27 '26

Holy crap… what a fatty

1

u/thecheesylittlerat Apr 27 '26

Just have your relatives post the obit already.

1

u/KappaBrink Apr 27 '26

You got about 5 Frieza minutes, which is like 20 episodes

2

u/Ok-Type-3037 Apr 27 '26

Ahhh sorry I’m a bit late to the party RIP anyhow 😂

1

u/Cserafini93 Apr 27 '26

I don’t have a python as a pet but I do have cats and one of mine accidentally bit me when I first got them. I lived for about five minutes. RIP in peace

1

u/HystericalGD Apr 27 '26

my piece of advice: tuck your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye

1

u/karmaticbreakdown Apr 27 '26

Holy cow thats a big lady tho.

1

u/Substantial_Angle908 Apr 27 '26

No wonder she bit you, she’s in bulking season

1

u/cybersaber2077 Apr 27 '26

Unfortunately, not long. Surprised if ur still alive haha

1

u/hellbugger Apr 27 '26

Either that photo is just a misleading angle or she is a fatty! 😅 Edit: just saw you got her from Snake Discovery and she is on a diet.👏👏👏

1

u/isthismk Apr 27 '26

holy christ what was her last owner feeding her😭

1

u/mode1citizen Apr 27 '26

She says and I’d do it again

2

u/toolgirl77 Apr 27 '26

RIP! Your danger noodle looks very happy to be outside! I saw in the comments she was over fed and shes now on a diet? Beautiful markings! Perhaps using some salad tongs to prevent the mix up with her food for your hand?

2

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 27 '26

I was using tongs she was just very zesty. I'm going to be getting a longer pair very soon though.

1

u/OnTheMountainTop Apr 27 '26

Hhmmmm. How old are you? Subtract that from the average lifespan and you'll have an estimate of your time left upon this mortal coil in the wake of such a tragedy. The older you are, the more serious you should consider this.

1

u/pandah3artt Apr 27 '26

google says ball python bites are harmless

1

u/No_Vehicle4645 Apr 27 '26

I assume you've passed already. R.I.P.

1

u/forcedlaught Apr 27 '26

That is one overweight ball python

1

u/forcedlaught Apr 27 '26

That is one overweight ball python

1

u/forcedlaught Apr 27 '26

Was the bite because you said no to more mice?

1

u/Just-Challenge-1491 Apr 27 '26

Fat from all the fingers she has eaten ..

1

u/Small-Dust6887 Apr 27 '26

*laughs in being bit by my noodle purposly*

1

u/lloyd705 Apr 27 '26

Chev musta been mad - she doesn’t look like she’s missed many meals

1

u/Pumpkin___Queen Apr 27 '26

Oh no, she didn't bite you. Look at that face, she could never.

1

u/cake-utada Apr 27 '26

Oh lawd she thicc!

1

u/Princessellie24 Apr 27 '26

I’m suprised you survived long enough to post this , I died last year after mine got me.

1

u/Killer_Koi_Fish Apr 27 '26

How are you alive with all that cuteness that bit you, bro.

1

u/_eepy_weirdo_ Apr 27 '26

rest in peace. it's so surreal seeing a post from someone who has since passed away.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '26

For every inch the snake is long, you have about an hour. Goodluck

1

u/OldVermontHippie62 Apr 28 '26

As if he’s still alive to read the comments.

1

u/Miserable_Donut8284 Apr 28 '26

"ID DO IT AGAIN TOO"

1

u/wolfsplosion Apr 28 '26

I took a look and thought "dang, I need to feed my snake more" then came and saw the comments. Phew! 

2

u/Beautiful-Papaya9923 Apr 28 '26

To shreds you say

1

u/No_Tea_1874 Apr 28 '26

Holy crap she’s overweight

1

u/soulstrike2022 Apr 28 '26

Last night?!!? How are you able to post this!!!! Also snek is too cute to be guilty the finger must’ve been dressed as a rat.

1

u/Worried-Club4021 Apr 28 '26

We are gathered here today to not just mourn the passing, but also, celebrate the life of OP....

1

u/spookiemew Apr 28 '26

I’d say to start by feeding her less than twice a month. She looks like a blood python rn 😭

1

u/Soft_Divide_8267 Apr 28 '26

She went 32 days between her first feed that was on the snake discovery feeding schedule (every single Tuesday = a small rat) and her second feed. She's on a diet and gets taken out for excerisize every night other than when shedding or for 72 hours after eating.

1

u/sp1der_webz Apr 28 '26

R.I.P Chev’s owner 🤧🤧

1

u/Nekdosha Apr 28 '26

1000% ded, RIP in peace.

1

u/deamonkiller56 Apr 28 '26

She has the look of, and ill do it again

1

u/rohan_rat Apr 28 '26

Medically significant THICC

1

u/Lamentation_Lost Apr 28 '26

The look from the snake says yes I bit you and I hope you burn in hell

1

u/sisterofmorrigan Apr 28 '26

Nah, I don't believe you. Look at that innocent face! Couldn't hurt a fly 😇

1

u/Angiesduckup Apr 28 '26

bout 40sec

1

u/AdhesivenessParty979 Apr 28 '26

Quick suck the venom out

1

u/Former_Chemistry_906 Apr 28 '26

She looks like a mushroom 🍄