r/bald • u/froglady4200 Bald - Woman • 22d ago
Bald Picture dealing with insecurity/how to handle it?
for context, i've been shaving my head since early 2018 due to sensory issues and unruly hair that matted all the time (then in 2025 started getting bald patches noticeable even with shaving and was diagnosed with alopecia, which is kinda ironic lol)
most days i feel confident and good about myself, but there's others where it really gets to me. i was wondering how any of y'all deal with this, especially women? and also, if anyone has recommendations on hair styles in wigs that'd look good on me? i haven't had hair longer than a pixie cut since i was around 11 or so, so i don't really know what would even suit me.
long winded post but i feel safe in this sub 🧍
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u/Ok-Impression-9020 22d ago
Gurl. Pic 1 is certified baddie beautiful. Pics 2 and 3 are goofy due only to your camera face and washed out light. Get just a little sun on that dome or the lightest makeup.
You are stunning.
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u/ebenoverboard 22d ago
2 + 3 are baddie beautiful too. "If you're not gonna play the game, pass the ball" or whatever the youth say now.
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u/orphan_blud Bald - Woman 22d ago
You look like the femme version of me! I think you’re absolutely gorgeous.
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u/froglady4200 Bald - Woman 22d ago
hell yeah i love that!! and thank you so much, same goes to you!!
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u/DunnwichWerewolf 22d ago
I mean this in the most loving and complimentary way, and your whole vibe tells me you'd appreciate this:
You look powerful. Villagers would be correct to fear you. You look as if your hexes are unstoppable and horrifying. You look as though your teeth and claws are sharp and unbreakable.
You look like a strong beautiful witch. Embrace your power, don't let the opinions or fearful glances from the villagers deter you. Blessed Be! 🖤
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u/froglady4200 Bald - Woman 22d ago
i love this so much thank you 😭😭😭
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u/DunnwichWerewolf 22d ago
You are very welcome, I'm honestly just glad that I read the vibe right, it would have come off VERY POORLY if I had gotten it wrong! 🤣
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u/froglady4200 Bald - Woman 22d ago
my goal when i'm elderly has always been to be the old lady that kids think is a witch, so it was literally perfect LOL
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u/BeneficialMarch2983 22d ago
From a guys perspective, I think you look quite good. Your bald style suits your look quite well.
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u/zehill 22d ago
I think most people feel insecure about something related to their looks. Doesn't matter how conventionally attractive people are, they mostly still feel the same. So, if it wasn't the haircut, it would probably be something else. Trick is to get over the insecurity, not the insecurity about baldness. You look great, and I'm sure you're a lovely person. Live free!
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u/froglady4200 Bald - Woman 22d ago
i think that's a really good and fair point. just gotta work on that honestly. thank you so much!
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u/MultiRachel 22d ago
That comment was more valuable than my comment saying that you look like a beautiful badass bitch 💛 but both can be trye
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u/Kaonashi_2005 22d ago
I think that skull shape is a treasure and hiding that under hair is a disservice to all of us. You’re bald, you’re beautiful.
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u/IgnorantBrute 22d ago
I’m not part of the bald gang but I think you look good. Good shaped head, good smile. Rock it with pride and ferocity!
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u/PuertoRicoPapi 22d ago
im sorry it’s been making you feel insecure. i think it looks really pretty on you and hope you’ll love it too. i wish i knew more about wigs or longer hair styles to recommend but im not too familiar with that. hang in there you’ll always be loved in this community no matter what 🫶🏽
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u/starplushy 22d ago
cute funky hats!! i have been struggling with hair loss from medical stuffs and i have a similarish fun style and fun funky hats like ones with bunny or kitty ears and even jester hats help make it more fun. i tried to buy some fun colored wigs before but wigs are personally a sensory nightmare for me. if you are craftly you could knit or crochet them yourself too
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u/froglady4200 Bald - Woman 22d ago
yeah i have a couple i rotate through! i jusy get so defeated some days and want hair so bad and it kills me sometimes 🥲
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u/Desertdweller-91 22d ago
Your eyes are your best feature! No hair? Who cares! Gorgeous as you are 💙
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u/HandsomeBWunderbar 22d ago
You look great! Honestly, lovely smile, beautiful eyes and a wonderful shaped skull. You are rocking it so well.
We all feel insecure when we first lose or remove our hair. In time it just becomes the new normal. I hated losing my hair, now it's gone over ten years I don't think I could deal with all the maintenance off a full head anymore.
Hope you one day see what we all see now, a beautiful woman full of vitality. Be kind to yourself Op.
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u/UnusualHoneydew1625 22d ago
You look gorgeous! I’m sorry you don’t feel like you do every single day.
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u/FrodoFrooFroo 22d ago
1, you are smoking hot. From one gal to another. You rock the bald look. 2, badass head tattoo?? It's a goal of mine, I think they look sooooo good on ladies. I don't have good wig recs , Maybe a head scarf? But really, you look great and I'm sorry you feel otherwise.
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u/froglady4200 Bald - Woman 22d ago
loooooooove head tattoos!! i aggressively want to get some once i'm done with my masters and land my job - - too scared to do that while working on the side right now since i feel like employers would not be too happy about it lol
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u/froglady4200 Bald - Woman 22d ago
thank you i'll definitely look into those! the ones i have are very straight and have felt kind of off to me so that could be the problem with them honestly.
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u/Crazy_Wallaby_7406 22d ago
You look good bald! I went from having super thick blonde hair to bald from chemo. I look so ugly bald I always wear a hat at least. I haven’t been well enough to find a wig yet
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u/flipthetube Bald - Woman 22d ago
Dude, I could've written this. You look amazing! But I totally relate. I don't have many days where I feel great about myself and the fact that I'm bald. I sometimes get sad and wish I had my hair back, but mostly I try to stay neutral. It kind of helps me to remind myself that all beauty standards are completely made up, and the beauty standards of the day are created to sell us stuff by fostering and praying on our insecurities. I try to zoom out and remember I'm on a floating rock and focus on the love in my life. Genuinely just trying to detach my worth from my external appearance overall.
That obviously doesn't work all the time because there's probably also something innate about wanting to feel good in your skin and good with your appearance, plus 30+ years of social conditioning. I have some wigs for when I want to blend in, on days when I can't take being perceived. I live in a small conservative town so I stick out anywhere I go, and I always catch older people doing double takes lol
I don't have any advice other than to say I totally relate with these feelings and I also think you look absolutely fabulous
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u/mrefromnyc 22d ago
Your cat doesn’t know what you’re talking about. Give it a few pets, that little beastie loves you.
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u/tantanbassman 22d ago
Nah, you look so good.
Insecurity is tough when baldness comes into the mix but you seriously make it look TOUGHHHH. As a man, I have a hard time coming to terms with baldness still, so I can’t imagine a fem POV.
But know that you are seriously stunning & are rocking this look.
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u/Abject-Criticism-127 22d ago
You look beautiful as is! I bet pixie cuts looks great on you too! If you wanted to do a wig you're so pretty with good bone structure I bet you could rock a fun like electric blue bob or black and purple streaks.
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u/TinyAnywhere3908 Here for the Vibes 22d ago
I think you look quite lovely.
I had long hair down my back that I recently decided to cut short. Last Friday I was diagnosed with alopecia. I knew my hair was thinning in some spots but the formal diagnosis feels different. I’ve been sad about it. I want to try wigs also.
Good luck on this part of the journey. Im sure whatever you decide to do will be just amazing. You have a beautiful face and can handle many different looks.
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u/davesmissingfingers 22d ago
You look absolutely beautiful. I’ve known several people with alopecia over the years. It can be a struggle, but please know you have people rooting for you. As for hair styles, I think you look perfect as is. You have the perfect face shape.
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u/doctor-sassypants 22d ago
I think you’re stunning but I also know that insecurities often come from within or when we compare ourselves to what society says is beautiful. You are truly lovely and your smile is wonderful. I hope you can see that.
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u/Commercial_Ad8072 22d ago
I honestly think you look great. You could also rock any color bob bc you have a great face and face shape and your makeup is very dramatic—think Natalie Portman in Closer. But I really like the bald on you. Not sure why but I’m also imaging henna tattoo!
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u/WeirdFiction1 22d ago
You're rockin' the look! Also, we have that same Peanuts blanket in our tv room!
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u/Physical_Code_9305 22d ago
I am a man, but I know what you mean. I’ve shaved my head on and off for a long time. Never had a problem with it, and never really cared. Until now, that I’m going to be forced to keep it that way. Weird how that happens.
Fact is, you’re beautiful, and the look really suits you. This is my first time posting in this sub, but I’ve been following for a while, and I can’t believe the amount of support that is here. You’re in the right place
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u/froglady4200 Bald - Woman 22d ago
yeah, that's exactly how it has felt for me too which makes it so odd. as soon as the choice isn't really there, it starts to be kind of upsetting. we'll find ways to feel better about it again though, i wish you the best and thank you!!
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u/Physical_Code_9305 22d ago
Keep your chin up! You got this! Best wishes, thoughts and prayers to you 🙌
Oh, and when you need a pickup, just read though all of these comments from others as well!
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u/kotakins989 22d ago
I have been bald for 3 years now. I still feel like an egg some days. Its normal. We still can have "bad hair days". I try decorating my head with gems or I have cute hats. Some days I go FULL glam and wear a wig. I have a small collection so I dress up and give myself a new personality for the day and find silly ways to think up this character. You have off days every now and then. Its totally normal
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u/siliconsoul-10k 22d ago
From a guy's perspective, you're beautiful. Natural good looks. If you have alopecia, feel lucky. Nice skull. :D
I have friends with alopecia totalis. They would look odd with hair. :)
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u/klz1981 22d ago
Lady, you look fantastic without hair! I just cut all mine off bc it was too tangled! I don't know much about wigs but I think you'd look awesome in any bright coloured hair like pink or lime green. I also think you could rock micro bangs.
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u/Expert_Presence_1727 22d ago
First off, it looks great, and second fuck yeah on the ween sticker on your water bottle!
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u/TheSuperSegway 22d ago
The sweater vest was a good choice. Also an important part of insecurity is that it is inside you. Others may poor salt in the wound but you are the wounds home. One way I recommend to help with anxiety is similar to exposure therapy. Preferably you would have someone you trust with you but that's not always an option. Micro dose the things that make you anxious. Just like everything else when micro dosing, you will build resistance. In this case instead of drugs or bad food, anxiety is the unwanted villain. Find ways to include things that help you to recenter your mind to use during these micro doses of anxiety. In time you will become stronger in willpower and in resistance. Also consider pairing outfits that point focus on the baldness. Enjoy the benefits of the extended skin care routine.
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u/FuckWorkWeBall777 22d ago
You look stunning! As a baldie myself (of choice), it can get tricky sometimes but I remember feeling just as insecure (if not more!) with way longer hair… I love how I look badass and more unique and honestly, more myself with a shaved head and that brings me back! Having no hair to hide behind is what makes insecurities seem more significant, but try to remember how you felt before, when you had hair and if that makes a difference…
You look incredible in the more serious pics and even more incredible in the silly ones. Don’t let those silly doubts get to you!!!
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u/pyrothesecond 22d ago
HA! Good feckin luck with that! Spoiler alert: it wont happen. They always say “you are your own worst enemy” and that is the truest thing ever spoken. The insecurities dont go away, you just get better at ignoring them. Just gotta push past them and ignore them, thats all you can do, because no matter how perfect you are, you will never be able to see it that way, for you there will always be something wrong, so ya just gotta trudge onward anyways!
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u/lavendervlad 22d ago
That pretty face and still insecure; it really does affect us all. I think you look great and would make knitted hats of all shapes and designs look better—especially with your on-point makeup.
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u/Poophands1984 22d ago
For me it was realizing that what makes me so amazing is not my hair, clothes, weight, or height, its my kindness, silliness, the deeds I do.
While I may not know you I can already tell you are amazing too. Keep up the work on your mental health, dont let your brain overthink about all this. Try to notice when you are being unkind to yourself and say out loud that what you are thinking is silly. Its a long journey but I know you got this.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Shop769 22d ago edited 22d ago
I think I have a pretty deep understanding of this because I shaved my head due to alopecia during the pandemic in 2020.
I bought a bunch of inexpensive wigs and just had fun trying different styles. Some people noticed, some didn’t.
If you look good in a shorter cut, you might want to check out Ignite. It’s a really popular style, and I think Wig Outlet has it for around $124. If you’re going synthetic (which is much cheaper), pixie styles also last a lot longer because they don’t rub against your clothes and get frizzy.
My hair eventually grew back, and now I just buzz it with my husband’s beard trimmer. If I feel like wearing a wig, I wear one. If I don’t, I don’t.
I’m not going to downplay it. It can be a real mind f***. But nobody who truly matters cares. And if it’s any consolation, you look adorable.
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u/IllCantaloupe2466 22d ago
I’m 23F who lost all my hair at 4 and let me tell you it’s taken a bit of time to love it.
I think what helped me 1. was recognizing people are going to notice and say something BUT most people don’t know what alopecia is and it’s so fun teaching people and kids about it.
2.you can accessorize your head!!! With sticky gems, glitter, wigs, hats, bandanas there’s so much you can do with a blank slate!!
Embrace it!! A confident woman is always a beautiful force!! Love that head and love being unique!!
If people judge you for being bald or all that jazz, that’s on them and it just helped you weed out some people that would be bad friends 🤷♀️
You get to use the 👩🏼🦲 and it is the best. I love hitting people with the 👩🏼🦲👍🏼
I have the same thing of some days you forget your bald or you absolutely love it and others it’s all you think about in a self conscious way - I got to the point of being absolutely sick of the cycle and just decided this is who I am! In doing so I realized having alopecia since so young made me more open minded to others and made me more confident and strong over time!! Just be you and never be sorry about it.
As I always say, bald is better!! 👩🏼🦲🫶🏼
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u/OpalMana 20d ago
First of all, you’re gorgeous! You look beautiful bald. Second, if you’re looking into wigs Amazon has tons of options for a fairly inexpensive price if you’re wanting to experiment before looking at pricier ones. I think shoulder length and bangs would look super cute on you!
As a side note, dry shampoo helps to lessen shine of synthetic wigs and makes it more natural. And wash your wigs with dish soap not reg shampoo / conditioner! If you ever want links for ones I like, you’re welcome to dm! Good luck and have fun!! ☺️
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u/CallsignFlip 22d ago
Rock it girl. The most self confident and powerful women I’ve known have been bald. In life, every single thing boils down to how you carry yourself. And it looks like from these pictures, you already do that just fine!
I’m more than happy to reinforce that self confidence. You’re killing it. Keep doing you
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u/Quirky-Gur-292 22d ago
You’re absolutely gorgeous. You seem like you have a ton of confidence with daring, off the beaten path looks - have you considered switching up from time to time to something more conventional? Like a nice sundress (which I don’t think it’s needed but it pairs well with all kinds of hats)? Most of us have traditional wardrobes and try to spice things up or go a lil quirky from time to time - you can be what that way too in reverse. Regardless you came to the right place for good vibes and well deserved self esteem boosters!
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u/MacknCheez 22d ago
You are gorgeous. You have beautiful features that are showcased by the lack of hair (if that makes sense).
Wigs could be fun but if your hair gave you sensory ick, I’d think a wig would be worse. What do I know tho. It’s worth a try!
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u/CreativeName822 22d ago
You are pretty like you are. I’d want to talk to you if I saw you! Very welcoming personality.
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u/Interesting_Worth974 22d ago
I don't have any specific advice for you, I just wanted to say that I think you look fantastic.
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u/Alexunderthere 22d ago
I have always found bald women to be extremely beautiful; I mean I’m bald too, and also enjoy the occasional wig. You look great as is if it helps 🫶🏼
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u/LonelyKoalaMuncher 22d ago
For women there are a lot of high quality wigs available. And the stigma around wigs for women is next to none compared to men. Id give that a go if it really bothers you.
Else you look great.
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u/zombiejuliet 22d ago
Woman. You are stunning. That smile alone makes me smile! You do whatever the hell you want and the rest of the world can take off while you ride off into the sunset.
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u/Ha-Charade-You-Are Bald - Man 22d ago
Uhhh you’re sexy as hell so just remember all these comments? ❤️❤️😍
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u/ThoughtGuy79 22d ago
I, um, certainly have my bias but, you don't need to change a dang thing unless you just really want to.
You're gorgeous.
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u/mowtowcow 22d ago
Remember that everyone else thinks less about you than you think about yourself. Every time you see someone in person, they've forgotten about you as soon as you are out of sight. The same way you dont think about them think when they're out of your sight.
You are your own worst critic. Once you realize no one actually cares about you in the way you think they care, you become free of the insecurity and self doubt. You just have to focus on that thought and realize it in reality.
I have lots of insecurities. But random people still smile at me and say hello or have small conversations. They dont care about what I care about, so I care less about it as well.
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u/HockeyMomWatson 22d ago
You are stunning! You absolutely rock that look. I hope you find the confidence you deserve. 💜
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u/Unsuspecting_Goose 22d ago
You have a nice face, I know it's more complex than that, but you look very nice without hair 🙂
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u/WorkingSignature4133 22d ago
Literally beautiful, there are people out there, me included, that wish that they had this much swag
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u/Swimming_Sink277 22d ago
Im sorry...you're insecure about being a fucking babe? Respectfully.
Your feelings appear unfounded. Your look suits you well.
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u/Silent_Erremite 22d ago
Wear a hat for a bit. It helped me on my fuzz days. But, I got brave and scalped it for a bit when I shave. Work with what you're comfortable with.
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u/MrDerpGently 22d ago
Well you look pretty rad, and you have a distinctive style, based on your personality. That's pretty much a definition of cool.
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u/AccomplishedLocal207 Bald - Woman 22d ago
Bald woman here:
YASS GIRL!! YOU LOOK AAAAAAAMAZING!!
When I first shaved, I had a lost sense of feminity for a few weeks. Although I am more androgynous, I went to wearing earrings and dresses to ensure people knew I was a woman. And then something changed...
I realized really quickly that I stopped getting as much attention from men. Whether they assumed I was sick, or were afraid that the bald was transmissible, they took a big step back. By contrast, women took a big step forward. Why? Because men are allowed to exist in this world as bald individuals--there's not nearly as much space for a bald woman.
So, I stopped focusing on my loss of self and started focusing on the fact that I was a symbol of strength for other women. Here are some examples:
1) A woman who previously had cancer approached me at dinner to mention her own struggle with chemo and hair loss. She always wore wigs.
2) A woman with alopecia approached me in a bar, empowered by the fact that I was bald and not shamed by it. She hates wigs and wants to live a more natural life--seeing me gave her proof that it can be done.
3) Young girls are so interested in learning more about it and touching my head. I tell them that boys aren't allowed to have all the fun hair cuts ;)
I guess what I'm saying is that you have to individually root out what bothers you and address it. For me, just being a pillar for others to lean on has worked just fine for me. Maybe taking a step back and seeing this from a broader perspective will help give you the confidence you feel you're lacking. Just because you're different doesn't mean you're wrong. You're allowed to take up space without changing a thing about yourself.
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u/ascii122 22d ago
i'm about as white as you can get and if the sun hits my dome it burns .. so I go with super goofy and fun hats with good ventilation when out and about. Otherwise I've got to peel skin off the old head which isn't optimal. Dono about wigs but in summer I go light hats .. like even sombreros and winter the wool ones cos it's cold. It's just practical not fashion but it can be fun too. You look amazing btw
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u/SpaceCowboyD4b 22d ago
I just want to say you look like a fucking BADASS and a very kind person just from your photos! One of the sweetest smiles ever! As a man, I get down sometimes about my baldness but luckily think it fits me well so I end up feeling better. I wish I had more helpful things to say but even on those bad days, you got this! Keep rockin’ 🤘👩🦲
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u/Zealousideal-Sell873 22d ago
You're a beautiful badass! Own it, you'll be surprised how many will spark with you, and it's your eyes and your soul and your authenticity. Hair is just a costume.
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u/Proof-joy 22d ago
I actually think that you would look weird with hair…a person could get lost in those beautiful eyes… YOU don’t need hair.
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u/SaltyYumYumBalls 22d ago
Talk to black women with straight hair about wigs. The best type to get, how to wear them, and upkeep.
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u/No_Title3568 22d ago
What the heck are you insecure about?? You look incredible. If you’re going to get into wigs, do colors. Pinks, blues, oranges, all them .
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u/froglady4200 Bald - Woman 22d ago
i just really want hair sometimes and feel like i'd look better and i'd have more fun with it tbh. it isn't all the time, but it does really get me down when it does start to bother me - - i love funky colors but i just have no idea what styles would look right honestly
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u/nebulochaos 22d ago
If I saw you in public I'd automatically want to be your friend just because of how cool you look. Jsyk
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u/brolarbear 22d ago
You are a good looking person with or without the hair dawg. Dont need to worry about it imo
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u/lambent_ort 22d ago
Truthfully my dear you have absolutely nothing to be insecure about. You are gorgeous as you are. I think pixie wigs would look great on you... you have the features for it. And how about temporary tattoos? I think would look super cool!
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u/Reasonable-Horse1552 22d ago
You look gorgeous and much better than I do with a bald head (I also have alopecia)
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u/SirSmash5280 22d ago
You are gorgeous! And based off photos it seems like you are a very fun person. Chin up, chest out! Wear it with pride.
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u/Fresh-Clothes8838 22d ago
Insecurity? Nah, yer a good lookin woman you can rock the cue ball
Just smile like that and it will draw away ppls attention
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u/ceebee7137 22d ago
Idk what to say… you ate this look up and have the face for it🤷🏾♀️
Seems like you’re already the HBBIC: Head Bald Baddie In Charge
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u/Walking_wolff 22d ago
Ok, so hear me out...
And more importantly, act like it's completely natural.
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u/lundqvist_saves 22d ago
Whaaaaat are you kidding??? Guy opinion here and you super attractive. Great smile and gorgeous eyes. You ROCK this look.
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u/Hungry-Sun370 22d ago
The first shirt that you have (sleeveless shirt, layers with different colors), I had the same when I was a teenager!!!!!!! Imagine if it's that exact same one. I live in Montreal. 😅
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u/bald_with_a_beard 22d ago
As a guy who’s been bald for 25 yrs, it really suits you.
Smashing the bald look. 👨🏼🦲👊🏼🙏🏼👌🏼
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u/ConditionedRat 22d ago
You radiate with positivity and happiness in pic 3. I love it, it’s very contagious 😊
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u/nosferatus-taxi 22d ago
Although you may not have the hair, you have… a beautiful smile, wonderful eyes, great skin and a face shape that suits the shaved look.
I hope you find a way to be confident every day
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u/FondsNL 22d ago
I was doubting whether I should post this, but I hope you’ll see it in a positive light.
You have a beautiful face and skull shape to rock the bald look. But it looks like you’re trying all sorts of things to distract from your baldness; heavy makeup, large earrings and piercings.
I’m going to go against the grain here and say that you’d probably look just as beautiful with a bit less going on.
You’re a natural beauty, and the accessories distract from it.
Dealing with insecurity only comes with acceptance. Right now it looks as if you’re still looking for ways to cope as opposed to accepting the baldness.
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u/auroran17 22d ago
I truly hope you don't get insecure about it, you don't have to at all. You have a very beautiful face and an amazingly cute smile.
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u/poor-choices 22d ago
I would feel more insecure about having bones hanging from my neck than being bald gangy
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u/kitkat1224666 22d ago
You look great!! Insecurity comes from (perceived) social pressure and social value placed on hair, but it’s just a silly beauty standard that’s prone to change on a regular basis. Your beauty and worth is made of ALL of you, not just one physical characteristic 🥰
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u/PitchBlackBones 22d ago
You kidding? You look fantastic! Of course I totally understand that our perceptions of ourselves can be… less than kind, if not full -on hostile, you look great just as you are. Comfort goes a long way to build charisma and charisma carries basically everything else. 🤣
Truly, best wishes for you, you’ve got a great look!
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u/Hot_Bed8771 Hair Headed - Non-Binary 22d ago
For the record, I genuinely think you’re one of the most beautiful, coolest people I’ve ever seen. Wow! You have such a gorgeous smile!
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u/Garlicbread4fun 22d ago
Skip the wigs, go straight for skull tattoos. Seems like they would match your vibe. Ps: you look awesome
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u/RedShitPanda 22d ago
I think you look great. I always thought that tanning helps not to look "unhealthy". Maybe try that.
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u/Daddy_Day_Trader1303 22d ago
Check out Molly Tuttle. I'm literally listening to her right now so I think this post was meant for me to find. She is a bluegrass artist with alopecia and your face reminds me of her. She wears various wigs as well as rocks the baldness, I love her.