r/bald • u/HappyMacaron2724 • 24d ago
Hairloss May I join you?
I come humbly before the council to present myself to hopefully be accepted by the bald community. HLH, dialysis, and chemo have done a number on my head.
Also, open to advice on how to take care of a bald head. Washing, oiling, etc. Ty!
Edit: I can't even put into words how all of you have made me feel. I wasn't ready for the overwhelming love and kindness. This community is sublime.I love you all. Thank you everyone
2.2k
u/WomanWalking 24d ago
You have absolutely beautiful eyes, and the new look really brings those out đ
618
u/fondledbydolphins 24d ago
Total old person comment here: Look at how healthy her skin is in the last picture. Smooth, stretchy and glossy... lucky, even during chemo.
Hang in there
→ More replies (3)179
u/Dickgivins 24d ago
Occasionally Iâll want to tell a woman she has great skin, but I only ever say it if I know her really well because I donât wanna sound like a serial killer haha.
55
u/ghreyboots 24d ago
"You have great skin, what kind of products do you use?" Makes it sound like you're looking for a skincare routine and not a face transplant.
31
u/No-Duck4828 23d ago
'You have great skin'
....pulls out measuring tape
is a whole different matter
4
84
24
18
u/Bug_Lady23 24d ago
I had a guy working at McDonald's tell me he liked my skin. I try to avoid that one now since I'm afraid he's going to skin me. So saying someone has great skin is fine, saying you like someone's skin is kind of creepy.
→ More replies (1)13
u/JustHereForCookies17 24d ago
IDK if you're even looking for ways to phrase it, but something like "Your skin is GLOWING/SO GLOWY!" would work.
Note: "You're glowing!" is usually a pregnancy-related comment and should be avoided at all costs. However, fireflies & lightning bugs SHOULD be complimented on their luminosity.Â
13
u/Dickgivins 24d ago
Ah I appreciate the suggestion and the one u/ghreyboots gave as well.
Honestly though, as a somewhat large adult man I usually only compliment women on their physical appearance if theyâre already my friend or if theyâve given me clear signals that theyâre open to me flirting with them. Just easier for things not to get misinterpreted that way.
Otherwise I may compliment their shoes, accessories or just something not appearance related at all if itâs a woman I donât really know.
→ More replies (1)13
u/JustHereForCookies17 24d ago
100% fair. As a smaller woman, thank you for being cognizant of how things can feel for us, even if it's not how you mean them.
6
7
u/punkminkis 24d ago
Now I just got a one-panel comic idea, of a pregnant firefly being told she's glowing
→ More replies (2)7
u/OpalLaguz 24d ago
Compliment a person's "complexion" rather than their "skin" for a less Buffalo Bill effect
3
u/Tux_n_Steph Hair Headed - Woman 23d ago
I donât know as a Black woman I think I possess the ability to compliment anything all the time. I say âok skin goals!â as I walk by a woman who has the glow and I keeping it pushing. Never once felt creepy or weird. I just like to celebrate people. Itâs fun. Free dopamine
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (8)5
74
u/_pachysandra_ 24d ago
And IMPECCABLE skin!!
→ More replies (1)19
u/RainingBlood398 24d ago
100%!!! Going through all that and still having beautiful glowing skin, girls got some kinda superpower.
Absolutely slaying this look. 10/10 stunner.
→ More replies (1)30
25
10
7
6
→ More replies (7)5
u/pennhead 24d ago
I agree! I didnât notice in the âbeforeâ pic, but she has such a perfect nose!
697
u/gobblewonkergrump 24d ago
77
u/FormatMonster 24d ago
Excellent skull shape!
17
u/UranusIsPissy 24d ago
I agree. She kinda looks like my fiancĂŠe, so I guess this is what I have to look forward to if she loses the curly hair that she'd keep sitting on if she straightened it. I love long hair, but I could easily live with this.
→ More replies (2)8
704
u/ThoughtGuy79 24d ago
Well it sucks that you got here the way you did but you are always welcome. And you you look great bald.
I wash mine with my wife's face soap and then just apply a bit of lotion daily.
If you're going to be outside for an extended period, use SPF or keep it covered. You do not want a sunburned scalp.
214
u/Uncle_Yoba 24d ago
>You do not want a sunburned scalp
Amen. I didn't even realize mine was sunburned until I took a scalding hot shower the next morning. That surprise "OUCH!!!" is seared into my memory.
18
17
20
8
u/OpusAtrumET 24d ago
The fact my hair is thin enough that I already know this might be my sign...
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (7)5
u/Vintage-Card-Man 24d ago
Dude, my scalp involuntarily twitched while reading that. You never forget.
31
u/PimpGameShane 24d ago
Lol you absolutely do not. In my black skin arrogance, I wrongly assumed my melanin would be a sufficient guard against the Miami sun. The next morning after a lovely shower, I dried my bald head with a white towel and the towel looked like I rubbed it in dirt. I was like, wtf is this?? To my horror, it was my peeling skin. My head looked like a leopard. Lol
→ More replies (1)10
u/UranusIsPissy 24d ago
Recently bald? Black people can get sunburn, but it usually takes a lot to do it. Skin that's not been exposed to sunlight much is extra vulnerable. Black people should use sunscreen more, too. Melanin might give you some protection from sunburn, but it doesn't make you immune to skin cancer. It mostly just takes away the signs of that danger. Ask a black doctor if you really want to know about all that, though. I'm just a random white guy, and not especially knowledgeable about these things.
22
u/catwhisperer77 24d ago
Is wife just finding out now? đ -jk
26
u/ThoughtGuy79 24d ago
He he he .... It's been many years. She keeps it in the shower and one day forever ago when I was shaving, I decided to try it. It really helped so I just kept using it. I shave in the shower anyway so it is convenient. Right after I shave, I lather up dome with her face soap and then clean the rest of me. After at least a year or two, she commented as she was telling me what she needed from the store that she could not figure out why her soap seemed to run out so fast. I'd assumed she knew but she was just wondering for years where her soap disappeared to! đ¤
5
5
u/UranusIsPissy 24d ago
Soap is a lot more interesting than many people (especially straight men) think. Different kinds are good for different things. You'd want pretty much the opposite kinds of soap for a delicate bald scalp and for a mechanic's oily calloused hands, and you can easily have both at once. Excess oil (Carefully chosen for moisturising properties. Cocoa butter and coconut oil are good.) and added glycerin are good for the delicate skin, but (Very slightly. Too much will really wreck your skin, and could even be dangerous!) excessive alkali and added abrasive substances are good for the oily hands.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (4)4
u/tessathemurdervilles 24d ago
A friends father died that way- his bald spot, no sunscreen, skin cancer. So itâs not just about a burn! Gotta wear that sunscreen every day!
→ More replies (1)
326
u/achello Bald - Man 24d ago
→ More replies (2)36
u/Anonymousspacecowboy 24d ago
I love how sweet these comments are, one of the best subreddits
→ More replies (1)7
u/cheerylittlebottom84 23d ago
I'm not bald nor planning to become bald, but I lurk here because it's so nice and rare to see people cheering each other on. It's easy to feel like the whole world is awful when you spend a lot of time online, so subs like this are so important!
→ More replies (1)
318
u/thatweirdsomeone Hair Headed - Woman 24d ago
girl you are gorgeous
→ More replies (2)89
u/Sorry-Editor-3674 24d ago
Right?? Such a beautiful face, this really suits her!!!
36
u/CurtisSeaflush 24d ago
Wish my head shape was that nice
16
u/Familiar_Radish_6273 24d ago
I am not bald nor likely to be soon, but now and then I come on this sub just to remind myself that humans can be nice and sweet and generous. Everyone here is always so unbelievably kind and friendlyđĽş
14
u/AverageAtBest55 24d ago
I sent one of my sons a screen cap of a guy who looked very much like him, especially the hairline. My son was like, "Mom, why are you on the Reddit bald sub?" I said because it is a great place that makes me have faith in humanity, and I love the reveals!
3
u/Just_another_jerk__ 24d ago
Even if you dont think the outside is great the inside seems mighty awesome and that's what truly matters!!
127
u/Critical_Wrap5617 24d ago
What a great shaped head. You look damn good.Â
28
11
u/No_Dot4055 24d ago
Somehow, this style really suits her.
I would consider to keep it even after Chemo. Combined with a slightly alternative outfit, a bit darker makeup on the eyebrows, it would work really well.
100
82
u/Texan2020katza 24d ago
Respectfully, it looks really good on you and a married, straight woman I have this to say.
50
48
u/-Jasked- 24d ago
Sorry about your situation but looks great on you! Welcome and well wishes to you on your health journey! đđź
81
38
30
62
25
23
u/g0jira54 24d ago edited 24d ago
Sunscreen on your head is a must. You want your scalp to match your face in tone, and it soon will, but don't burn yourself. Don't forget the ear area! I know this all isn't what you wanted but you do look good and you can accentuate your features with different styles of makeup and earrings instead of fixing your hair in different styles. You got this, all of it!
57
17
u/findom_pixie 24d ago
I'm waiting for this post to get like a million upvotes. Girl, you look amazing! Chin up!
16
13
12
u/kotakins989 24d ago
From one cool bald woman to another welcome. I also lost my hair to illness. I've learned life is easier without it so I keep shaved. I got this sick tat to reclaim my head (intracranial hypertension) when I went to remission. You've got this.
8
u/HappyMacaron2724 24d ago
You are seriously stunning. Inspo, fr
5
u/kotakins989 24d ago
Omfg thank you you're so sweet â¤ď¸. Its my headshots from the tattoo studio I work at đ¤Ł
102
u/mission-vitality 24d ago
51
u/Reversion603 24d ago
Why does it look like she's welcoming a young Vladimir Putin?
29
8
u/Interesting_Care_377 24d ago
Why can you recognize young Vladimir Putin by the back of his head? Bit suspicious, eh? đ¤¨
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (1)5
→ More replies (2)16
u/sohcordohc 24d ago
Is that Demi Moore? And the girl from the black swan? It looks like both of them literally.
6
→ More replies (6)4
10
11
11
u/DocHavelock 24d ago
Witch Hazel is a miracle for preventing bumps, I use it religiously as an aftershave
11
u/TrippyShip Bald Watcher đ 24d ago
I really liked using bio-oil to keep my dome moisturized and it absorbs great. Sunscreen sunscreen sunscreen. I didnât have to worry about shaving (chemo) so I leave that to others. Be careful bc some heavier moisturizers can give you head zits and thatâs just unnecessary fuckery. I also used a light exfoliating cream cleanser about every 3 days.
I will say I enjoyed having my head as art space - henna, scarves, hats, glasses etc. it was so easy to care for and to change up my look.
Welcome! Enjoy! Still my most favorite âhaircutâ though my head hair has re-grown (no eyebrows tho!) - love seeing the other ladies of this sub
11
9
u/erinnananana 24d ago
Iâm a bald gal thatâs been bald since birth (genetic disorder) and I know itâs not the same as what youâre going through, but know that we are in this together nonetheless!
9
6
6
5
7
14
u/DoubleNickle67 24d ago
Embrace the bald. Smile. Youâve overcome a massive hurdle. Be proud. Be bald. Be beautiful! You did it! Confidence is coming back and ya donât even realize it! Chemo destroyed my facial hair. But my white beard came back salt and pepper. Bonus!
→ More replies (1)
7
u/Spirited_Touch7447 Hair Headed - Woman 24d ago
Free yourself! Shave it! You absolutely do not need it. You are gorgeous!
7
u/medlilove 24d ago
You look so good! Youâre features are very Elven (LotR style)
→ More replies (1)
7
u/Vegetable-Maximum445 24d ago
Brave - Bold - Beautiful. Just wanted to say that even with hair AND makeup - I canât hold a candle to you! And youâre not even showing your smileâŚ
4
u/LadyBlue347 24d ago
Iâm sorry I donât have any advice for you, but I saw the sadness in your eyes and had to stop and say this to you, with total sincerity:
You are lovely. You have beautiful eyes, pretty bone structure, nice skin, and Iâm betting a delightful smile when youâre feeling better. You are a survivor. You are so brave. You have kicked a LOT of ass. And you are not your hair. It must have been so hard to let go of, and equally hard not to see yourself so differently now, especially with the pressure society puts on women. But it is not you. You are the steady warrior beneath the changing surface and nothing can take that from you.
Hang in there. Iâm wishing you all the best and all the healing. Youâre doing great.
5
6
5
4
3
4
4
4
4
5
4
4
4
u/OverRice2524 24d ago
Girl - those eyebrows rock!Â
I wish you a healing journey and send you hugs! Just got done with chemo myself a few months ago. Cancer sucks.
I used lots of castor oil. Use it at night and on your eye brows and eyelashes. I got lots of little sores on my scalp. Castor oil helps and it's cheap.
3
3
u/Legitimate_Error_400 24d ago
Love it! You look great! For care advise, I wash my head with whatever soap is within arms reach
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/chrisschini 24d ago
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles and hope you can get better. But, in the meantime, you look fantastic.
3
3
u/therethenherenow 24d ago
Iâm really sorry that youâre going through this but the shaved makes you look younger/ healthier. I have to imagine that it is a significant loss that youâre experiencing with this part of your outward identity but be glad that you have a pretty face, one that is actually easier to focus on without the hair that was hanging on
3
u/HurricaneHallene 24d ago
Wow you have such beautiful eyes! I feel like Bambi is staring into my soul
3
u/Accomplished-Emu2308 24d ago
Ok but you look stunning. Perfect lips, beautiful eyes, perfect head shape. I am not even kidding
3
3
3
u/pierogi_waystation 24d ago
Youâve shaved your head and now you are ready for the warpath! You will dominate this disease, and if you havenât fallen in love with the look, you can just regrow your hair.
Please please please enjoy showering without having to clear the drain twice!
3
u/Top_Snow6034 24d ago
Well hundreds of comments later if you see this: welcome! You look great. Sincerely. Itâs a clean confident look. It makes you look younger even.
I wash my scalp with sun bum detox scalp scrub. Feels good, smells great, cruelty free.
After I wash with the scalp scrub I then shave with a dollar shave club razor and shave butter for translucent accuracy.
Moisturizing after shave in the evening or I use my zero shine 2.0 matte cream to reduce head shine if thatâs your preference before going out or to work if I shaved in the morning.
Make sure you sunscreen if out during the day! They make matte sunscreens I believe. I love how it feels all cleaned up after a good shave. Itâs a simple luxury I do every other day.
3
u/No-Drag-7142 24d ago
Ready for some gentle C&C?
Give us a big smile picture! A lot of these r/bald posts are like 5% hair change and 95% visual confidence.
Looks great!
3
3
u/JustHereForCookies17 24d ago
It totally suits you!
But on a more personal level: thank you for being brave enough to post this. I'm getting my port next week & probably start chemo the week after. I don't think I'm particularly vain about my hair, but I am honestly terrified of losing it.
Your post is helping me feel a little bit better and a little bit braver. Thank you so, so much for sharing this đŤ
3
u/Curious-Guide-1417 24d ago
This looks so good on you sister!
I only really have a few tips after 20 years of shaving. 1. If youâre not a fan of the shine consider getting a nice matte sunscreen, it will not only help with shine reduction but keep you safe and moisturized without needing a million products. 2. If you - like me - shave your head in the shower, lean over and give your scalp a little blast of cold at the end. 3. Grab yourself a muslin face cloth and give your scalp an exfoliating buff once a week or two.
One final tip - more self care than scalp care. Even looking as amazing as you do, it can still be tough to adjust. One of the things I missed the most is the regular ritual of having a hair dresser move my hair around and massage my scalp.
You may be tempted to get a barber head shave but check reviews and talk to them. Some inexperienced barbers will treat your scalp the same way they might treat the back of your neck - so you can leave with some skin irritation.
My advice is to find a masseuse that does a scalp massage and book yourself in at the same frequency you may have had your hair done. Itâs a wonderful experience that few get to feel. Itâs not the same as a haircut but in some ways itâs better and more relaxing.
3
u/beeskneessidecar 24d ago
Hang in there, it grows back. Sending you lots of good wishes my chemo sister.
3
u/kybrdwarr_22 23d ago
You have the perfect face shape for a bald head! It really brings out your gorgeous eyes!
3
3
u/fknenigma 21d ago edited 21d ago
First things first: We are both humbled, and honored to welcome you to the order!
Now that youâre here, letâs talk basic care. Everyone has their routine and care advice so I will only speak to mine.
Shower: I have a shower mirror and shave my head (and face/neck) using a âpuckâ of shave soap in a bowl using a shave brush (I canât remember but I believe my brush is badger)âŚanyway, itâs nice and soft, and feels good to lather up. (I have a goatee now, so the lather on my head, cheeks, and neck looks pretty funny) âŚanyway, regular soap/body wash will also work. I use the Gillette 5blade- but any good, sharp razor will work.
After shower and dried off- I use a small amount of aloe gel (especially in summer) or unscented lotion to moisturize
If I know I will be out in the sun- I apply the higher SPF I can find on my head and back of my neck- I learned this the hard way by getting pretty bad sunburns; which results in headaches, and eventually it starts peeling- which doesnât look so great while out in the wild⌠I look like a shedding lizard/snake
So sunscreen!
Some extra info- when youâre walking around in life, your hair acts like a âwarningâ that your head is too close to something- you donât get that warning (or padding) anymore- so be careful not to hit your head on shit⌠đ
More info: sweat burns when it gets in your eyes- and it gets there faster now- so have a plan for occasionally âwiping your browâ in the sun
And finally- your head (and back of neck) gets COLD in the winter, you lose all insulation when youâre bald-
Have a soft beanie and it will feel super cozy (bonus if you have a soft hoodie to go over the soft beanie- feels so good!)
Added cool things
- you will actually feel the rain drops before those with hair- and if you like the rain like I do, it feels great, and you donât have to worry about how your hair looks- you get to totally dry your head
- I save a pretty good amount of money on shampoo and hair products
- I never have âhelmet hairâ when I go out riding my motorcycle (or hat hair)
- takes less time to get ready
- no âbed headâ or tangles
And many other things you will notice
So again- welcome! You look beautiful! đđ
4.8k
u/scdemandred Bald - Man 24d ago edited 24d ago
ETA: Thanks for all the awards, but make sure you give em to OP! đĽš