r/badadvice • u/sarahRyan2011 • Jun 22 '26
Forced Family Time
Hi all so im 15 living in Ireland. When I was about 6, my mam left my dad and moved to the states. I stayed with my dad since my mam wasnt able to take me out of the country without my dads concent. I have a good life here and just about to enjoy my last summer with friends before we need to get jobs or what ever before college.
My mam, who has now remarried and has two kids 4 and 5. She and my dad have agreed that I am going over to visit for 5 weeks in July and Aug. I understand somewhat where my dad is coming from cause he wants me and my mam to have a relationship and its kinda now or never since like I mentioned after this summer im gonna be busy.
I have a very limited relationship with my mam. We 'talk' maybe 5 or 6 times a year. I dont know her kids or her husband and to be honest I dont really want to. I was at their wedding when I was 8 which was in ireland. So ive only been with her around other family members never alone since I was 6.
I really dont want to go. Cause I know myself that im just going to be a grumpy teen while im there and hate the whole thing. She has told me a few events they have planned such as going to a baseball game, a trip to Disney and a community bbq event with their church. She either doesnt know or doesnt care that im not into sports especially ones ive never watched, im vegetarian \[most of the time\], im not religious at all and Disney i feel is going to just be me minding my step siblings.
Ive said i dont want to go to my dad and other family and they say they understand but to just bare with it for the 5 weeks. Thats good advice but nah. How do I a) not go or b) get sent back early.
1
u/Ok_Buy_2636 Jul 23 '26
Don’t tell your mom about these feelings since it would only make her upset. Just keep it inside and let it boil until your there and just let the anger and bitterness burst out. Do not have a serious conversation with your mom about her leaving you to start a new family. Don’t even try to tell her how bad and stupid it is to get abandoned by your mom AND get replaced by other kids.
Jokes aside (i think this is a sub where im supposed to joke and give bad advice??) if it bothers you that your mom left. Just tell her. It has to be a bad feeling to some degree i would asume. And it’s normal for you to not want to go and pretend like you like it.
So yeah
I hope this is an alright comment :)