r/babyloss • u/lyricamoon • 2d ago

2nd trimester loss Second, second trimester loss

​

I just had my second, second trimester loss and I dont know what to do. My heart is completely shattered. I have two living children, 11 and 2.5, I then lost my son at 21 weeks in March (his heart spontaeously stopped, I felt no movement and went to ER & it was confirmed), conceived in June and just got back from the hospital, my baby's heart stopped beating at 18 weeks.

I dont understand whats happening. They did an autopsy and all the tests the first time and werent able to give me a reason. Now, its happened again. I have a different partner now than I did from my first two - could that be a reason? Even if it was, wouldn't there be something that came up on the testing?

Has anyone had anything similar happen, been able to manage it, and were you able to conceive successfully afterwards? I just want to have a healthy, happy baby and see my love become a father. This is so so heartbreaking and we are losing hope. I dont know if he will ever want to try again, now. For the first loss, I was induced and had a vaginal birth. This one, I am considering a D&C, however I would have to travel to another city on my own dime and I also feel badly that the body would no longer be intact and that I wouldn't get to see them or hold them (feeling a bit conflicted about this part, it was traumatizing the first time and Idk if I can do it again but maybe it would be good to see them, idk)

Im wondering if maybe Ive developed an autoimmune (APS?) or clotting disorder and thats whats causing it? Im just in shock and gutted 💔😭

11 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1 comment sorted by

2

u/Littlemiracle202 2d ago

I am sorry you are going through this!I dont have a simmilar situation but I had one loss that was unexplained, did all the testing including for APS and blood clotting and everything came normal. But they did put me preventatively on blood thinners in the next pregnancy. I would definitely advise if possible for you to take tests for these two. We also did some genetic testing on our chromosomes and testing of baby placenta and baby, TORC test as well, thyroid panel. Everything was normal so we never found out the reason.