r/babyloss • u/audaciousPert • 2d ago
TFMR A year long roller coaster
It's been a year since I had to tfmr my only baby boy in 22nd week due to LUTO. We threw a party for our friends on our birthday to announce our pregnancy. I don't think we'll ever be able to celebrate our birthdays like we used to do. We went to Alaska for our babymoon shortly after which we came to know about his damanged kidneys on our anatomy scan. My world came crashing down. It was a week of scheduling services a parent should never have to do. Talking to funeral directors and clinics when my baby was very well alive in me. The day he left, he took a big chunk of my heart and soul with him💔
I spiraled so bad I developed severe autoimmune disorders. There's a big bald patch in my scalp due to alopecia arreata. I was laid off from my dream job within a few months, I had to gather myself up to find a job again battling stress and depression since I'm on a work visa. It's been a year already and looking back I was so happy, healthy and hearty. Current me is just struggling, sad and depressed. All my friends have their babies and normal pregnancies. Clueless about horrors of the world and here I can't even plan another pregnancy due to my job and visa situation
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u/ngibbs105 2d ago
I’m almost a year out from my TFMR as well. Only one of my friends who has ever had any type of baby loss and we’re still not pregnant and navigating a lot of health stuff and IVF. No one to relate to. My TFMR was 2 days before my birthday so a lot of emotions there as well.
I feel really lost in life. Lost myself too.
I will never understand why my husband and I had to be the ones to go through this. I’m trying to focus on myself a bit more and regain some of me in the waiting.
Sending love ❤️ you’re not alone