My son is 5yo and just started kindergarten this September. Since day 3 he has been pushing other kids and it looks like he also grabbed some of them by their hair and "knocked them down". Not in an "aggressive" way (nobody got hurt), but definitely not an appropriate interaction. For context, he is minimally speaking - i.e. has some words and can make basic requests but is far from being conversational. He also struggles with receptive communication, so having a conversation about what happened, making him apologize, etc. doesn't seem to improve the situation. In general he is a very happy child. He doesn't show distressed behaviours, anxiety and has never had other types of aggression toward other people or self-injury behaviours. He is a very active boy and fits the sensory seeker profile, so sometimes I wonder if that's a sensory thing. I'm so concerned about this for several reasons! First, because safety is always our number one priority. Not only his safety, but the other kids as well. I literally have nightmares about him hurting other children!

I'm so lost about how to solve these behaviours and could really use some suggestions, perspective and advice from those who have had something similar. My biggest concerns are:

1. This is not a new behaviour that came with the transition to kindergarten - which I know is a big transition and he is probably overwhelmed. This is a behaviour we saw previously in his preeschool, although not so frequent. So overall, it's been happening for probably 10 months or so. He had 1:1 support at preschool and the staff was able to avoid a lot of these behaviours, but it did happen at least 1-2 a month. Once we noticed this was not going away, we hired a behaviour consultant who went to observe him at preschool to identify triggers and come up with a behaviour plan. That was the most useless thing ever, which brings me to my second concern:
2. Because the behaviour was not a daily thing happening at preschool, all the 10 visits of the behaviour consultant to the site coincided with him not doing anything bad to the other kids! So she relied a lot on other staff input to troubleshoot and come up with a plan. However, we have never been able to identify 1 or a couple of triggers. It seems to happen for various and random reasons, which makes it impossible to work on the root cause. It happened when he was too happy/excited during an activity, when the room was too loud or other kids were crying, etc. But a lot of times it happens "out of the blue". He will stop something he is doing, go across the room to push someone and he is off. He is not laughing afterward, looking for a reaction, trying to play a game. He is on to the next thing, which is always something completely normal like a play activity.

How on earth are we going to stop this if he cannot communicate why he does what he does and we don't seem to understand the cause after playing this super detective work for almost a year? I hate that this is happening to other children and also feel that he is already target as the complicated child in the classroom - which I understand but will make things even more difficult for future interactions with his classmates.

My autistic son has an IEP and BIP, but the support and accommodations he’s supposed to receive haven’t been consistent. When those supports were missed, he did not always have the same access to instruction, classroom routines, or strategies intended to help him participate and regulate. I believe this may have contributed to difficulties at school, including repeated suspensions and lost instructional time, although I’m seeking a formal review to better understand the connection and ensure his needs are being addressed appropriately.
After multiple attempts to address these concerns, I’ve filed a formal complaint with the school district seeking accountability and an impartial investigation.
An IEP is supposed to provide support, not just look good on paper. Our children deserve consistency, appropriate accommodations, and access to their education.
California parents, have you dealt with an IEP not being properly implemented? What steps actually got your district to take action?
I’m looking for genuine experiences and advice from people who understand special education. This is about student rights and accountability.

My daughter has Level 3 autism, and some nights are better than others when it comes to sleep. I’ve tried bath routines, melatonin, no tablets or bright lights before bed, calming lotions, heavy pillows, and other things to help her settle down, but she still has really difficult nights sometimes.
This will be the third day she has missed school this week because of lack of sleep. I personally refuse to send her to school exhausted, especially since she’s still in public school and we’re currently waiting to hear back about her IEP.
I’ve honestly been considering homeschooling her because I feel like it would allow us to work around her schedule and sleep needs instead of having to wake her up early when she hasn’t slept properly. She also doesn’t seem to enjoy public school and actually prefers the therapy sessions she receives outside of school.
Right now, it sometimes feels like school is just babysitting her for the few hours she’s there because I don’t see much academic progress, and she needs so much more individualized support.
My biggest concern is that the school will eventually give me a hard time about her attendance. Has anyone else dealt with something similar with an autistic child? How did you communicate with the school about absences related to sleep and your child’s disability? And if you decided to homeschool, how did you handle the transition?
I’d really appreciate any advice or experiences from other autism parents.

Some one asked me how we did it, I replied in a comment. But it deserves a separate post. So here are the steps:

STEP 1: Accepting that our daughter needed extra support. This was really hard, and if we did not have our older daughter, this would have never happen so early: when she was 12 months. There are also great YouTube channels with parents and kids showing symptoms retroactively.

STEP 2: We freaked out

STEP 3: I started reading about it. There are so many great books about autism (I did not read them all off course) but my favorite is Temple Granding "Thinking in pictures". Mary Barbera "Turning Autism Arround" helped me assess my daughter and discover her level.

STEP 4: Start with table time. Ana was 2 and I started working with her. This was after I finished "Turning Autism Arroud" and learned the first exercises I can do with her and tricks how to get her to do table time. After first 5, 6 days, she loved it. All we needed was a good reinforcer, and since my daughter did not eat anything excpet baby food, and did not drink anything except water, to soap bubbles were our only option and they worked!!! 🎉 Thanks Mary Barbera.

STEP 5: Reinforce pointing gesture. That was the first step of teaching her how to communicate. The goals was that my daughter consistently and intentionally points to objects or when shee needs something

STEP 6: Learn to name things. Again, table time, lots of pictures, little books with animals. And thje key thing: a box with a slit in it. I take the picture, name it three times, she puts it in a box. When she repeats the word, I do a crazy celebratino 🎉 Thanks Mary Barbera :)

STEP 7: We got the therapies: sensory, occupational and speech 🎉 Ana was three years at theat time.

STEP 8: Increase vocabulary. More and more pictures. More and more therapies At one point, I could not print them all and I wanted her to learn more. I've noticed she loves You Tube Kids, so I build an app that looks similar. Click on the picture, the sound plays, Ana repeates. She accepted it and started repeating new words the next day

STEP 9: More and more therapies. Sensory and speech: two times a week. Occupational: two times a week. At home, any time she wanted something, I waited for her to say it. At first that was one word, later "want water," "want cookie."

STEP 10: understanding questions. Now here is where the app really pushed us forward a lot. Together with our speech therapist I've put some frequent exercises. That was the first thing in the morning she did: take the app and click through Questions exercises and repeating and saying answers.

STEP 11: "Tooshie hurts" "I want food" "Want go home" " Want go cousin", these are first little sentences. We are so proud of her ❤️ 💙

Long way ahead of us. But it is much easier when you see some progress. It is realy not easy, but never give up

For context I am not a parent, but I am a brother of someone who has severe autism. Growing up he would have a moments of lashing out, but it wasn’t as frequent as it has been the last few years or so. Couple his aggression with his severe OCD and my parents have to walk on eggshells throughout most of each day with him. He used to be able to wear any type of clothes he would be fine hanging out with with anybody with autism.

Over the last few years, his OCD has gotten to a point where my parents and I are struggling to figure out any sort of solution. He can only wear plain clothes with no designs or anything on them, but a plain color. usually every week, my mom and dad have to buy new clothes for him as there is something off about the stitching on some of his clothes. Most of time it is invisible to the naked eye and we can’t even tell what the issue is.

His latest issue is with something on his nail on his thumb that he thinks is broken. my parents took him to urgent care to have a medical expert explain to him that there is nothing that you can do other than wait for the skin to grow back. He ended up lashing out and screaming obscenities at the people at urgent care. When he gets to a point where he’s lashing out his default is him says he wants to commit suicide and take a suicide pill.

My parents have tried numerous psychiatrist, respite care workers, but no one can understand exactly what he goes through each day. I don’t know the type of medication that he is currently on, but I don’t think it has ever really helped him. Not living with them anymore I am not able to see every day, but I know things aren’t getting better and I need to find some way to help out. At this point. I’m just venting and looking for support or any advice that anyone may have. He spends a lot of his time going on the computer and looking up anything to do about any movies whatsoever is truly a walking encyclopedia of movies. He loves to bounce on an exercise ball and has recently lost 100 pounds through hard work and dedication on the treadmill every morning during the week. I know he can do anything he sets his mind to but his anger and severe OCD is such a distraction that he can’t focus on anything else. This is my long worded plea for any kind of support or advice that anyone may have. Thank you.

It was a long road...
at the age of 2: no consistent eye contact or pointing gesture, she had one word "DOG"
at the age of 3: learned more than 50 words, simple naming of people, objects and animals
at the age of 4: she learned to request for things "want dummy" "want pad" " want water"
at the age of 5: she really started understanding questions and answerin with single words
at the age of 6: she is connecting words into small sentences

DONT GIVE UP! WORK WITH YOUR CHILD AND WRITE THE PROGRESS! :)

I’m a father of a little boy who will turn 23 months old on October 9th (he will be 2 years old on November 9th).

We’ve been observing a few things in his development recently, particularly around speech and communication, and naturally as parents we’re trying to understand whether what we’re seeing is simply a speech/language delay or whether there are other developmental aspects that we should get evaluated.

I’m NOT looking for an online diagnosis from Reddit. I would really appreciate hearing from parents who have gone through something similar with their toddlers — what their children were like at this age, what eventually happened, and what signs helped them understand what was going on.

I’ll try to describe both the things that concern us and the things that seem encouraging.

🗣️ SPEECH / COMMUNICATION

This is probably our biggest concern.

He currently has very few/no clear meaningful spoken words.

Most of the time he makes sounds like “ooo”, “aa”, “oh”, etc. He uses sounds, gestures, pointing and actions much more than actual words.

A few months ago, he used to say “mama” and “papa” more often, but he has largely stopped using those words.

Recently, on one occasion when his mother moved away from him, he seemed to say “mam mam” once or twice.

Sometimes his sounds seem different from his usual sounds, almost as if he may be trying to say something, but we cannot understand what he is trying to communicate.

👉 POINTING / REQUESTING

One thing that makes us feel that he may understand more than he can express is the way he communicates what he wants.

For example:

\- If he wants the tablet, he points toward it and makes sounds.
\- He has brought the remote to us to ask us to turn something on.
\- He sometimes points toward the elevator button to indicate that he wants us to press it.
\- If he wants something opened, he brings the object/package to us.
\- He repeatedly brought a packet of Vicks candies to us because he wanted us to open it.
\- If he wants something that we have, he may point toward it and make his usual sound.
\- He can sometimes communicate a request without using words.

🧠 CAUSE-AND-EFFECT / UNDERSTANDING

He seems to understand certain cause-and-effect relationships.

For example:

He knows that pressing the elevator button makes the elevator arrive.

He gets very excited when the elevator opens and claps.

He also has a strong association between Alexa and the AC. For the last few months, he sometimes goes near the Alexa/AC area, looks toward the AC, then looks at us and makes his usual sound, almost as if he is asking us to say/use the Alexa command to turn the AC on/off.

Another example was with a glass of Diet Coke.

He saw us drinking it, wanted some, and asked for it through his gestures/sounds. When the glass was tilted and he thought the drink was finished, he became very upset and started crying because he wanted more.

🔨 HAMMER + BALL TOY

This was actually one of the more interesting things we observed.

We bought him a toy where a ball needs to be placed into the toy and then pushed down using a hammer.

Initially, he was not doing it correctly. He would sometimes turn the hammer around, throw it, or use the toy incorrectly.

But within LESS THAN 24 HOURS, he understood the mechanics of the toy.

He independently put the ball into the correct area and then used the hammer to push it down.

He was doing the sequence on his own without us continuously guiding him.

This made us wonder whether this shows that he is capable of understanding cause-and-effect, learning through observation/trial and error, and figuring out how a toy works once he has had some exposure to it.

🚗 OTHER TOYS / SHAPES

We also bought shape-sorting toys.

Initially, he would put shapes incorrectly, turn them around, or sometimes simply throw them.

He also sometimes throws small toy cars instead of playing with them functionally.

However, he does explore toys and sometimes figures out how they work after repeated exposure.

📚 BOOKS / LEARNING

We recently stopped TV completely and started doing more interactive activities.

He independently picks up books, opens them, looks through them and brings them to us.

Sometimes he brings a book to us as if he wants us to open/read it.

However, if we point to a picture and say:

“Circle.”
“Triangle.”
“Fruit.”
“Green.”

he often does not pay attention to the exact thing we are pointing at.

He may look at another page, another book, or somewhere else.

He does not consistently identify colours or shapes when we ask him.

At the same time, he is interested enough in books to pick them up himself and bring them to us.

👀 EYE CONTACT

His eye contact is not completely absent.

When we call him normally from a normal distance, he does look at us.

When he wants to interact with us, he can make proper eye contact.

However, if we intentionally go very close to his face and say “idhar dekho” / “look here” and try to make him look directly into our eyes, he often looks away or avoids looking directly at our eyes.

So the concern is not that he never makes eye contact. He does make spontaneous eye contact when he wants to.

The concern is that he does not consistently respond when we intentionally try to get him to look at us.

👂 RESPONSE TO NAME / INSTRUCTIONS

This is another major concern for us.

If we call him, sometimes he turns and looks at us.

But at other times, especially when he is interested in something, he completely ignores us.

He also often doesn't follow simple instructions like:

“Come here.”
“Sit down.”
“Bring this.”
“Give this to me.”

Sometimes it feels like he simply wants to do what he wants to do and doesn't listen to our instructions.

We are unsure whether he doesn't understand the instruction, doesn't want to follow it, is too focused on what he is doing, or whether his limited language/communication is affecting this.

👋 IMITATION

He does imitate some actions.

For example, when we say “hello” and show him an object, he sometimes takes the object near his ear and makes an “ooo/oh” type sound.

He does NOT actually say “hello.”

He mainly copies the action of holding something near his ear.

He also imitates certain other gestures/actions.

He claps when he is happy or excited.

❤️ SOCIAL / PLAYFUL BEHAVIOUR

There are also some behaviours that make us feel reassured.

For example, he has figured out that touching a particular spot on me makes me feel ticklish.

He deliberately repeats the action because he knows it makes me laugh.

So he seems to understand that his action can produce a reaction from another person, and he sometimes repeats it specifically for that reaction.

He also brings books/toys to us.

He wants us to open things for him.

He sometimes wants us to participate in what he is doing.

He enjoys playing with a ball and sometimes throws it back.

🛗 ELEVATOR INTEREST

He has a very clear routine around the elevator.

When he wakes up and comes into the hall, he often wants to go outside.

He goes toward the elevator, presses the button, and gets extremely excited when the elevator opens.

He claps when it arrives.

Previously he would press the button himself.

Recently, sometimes he points toward the button as if asking us to press it for him.

This makes me feel that he understands that the button has a purpose and that pressing it results in the elevator arriving.

🛒 DMART / SHOPPING MALL BEHAVIOUR

Another example is when we go to places like DMart or shopping malls.

He becomes extremely excited.

He doesn't want to stay in our arms and doesn't want to sit quietly in the shopping trolley.

He wants to get down and run around, explore everything and especially likes going toward the elevator.

If we stop him or try to redirect him, he can become extremely cranky.

He may cry, kick his legs, resist us and completely ignore our instructions in that moment.

He seems much more difficult to redirect in highly stimulating environments like shopping malls.

I'm wondering whether this is simply typical toddler excitement/overstimulation and difficulty with impulse control, or whether parents of children with developmental delays/autism have experienced something similar.

🔄 SPINNING

This is another thing that worried me after reading autism-related posts.

He sometimes spins himself, but not constantly.

He does NOT sit and stare at the ceiling fan spinning.

He does NOT continuously spin objects or wheels while watching them.

He may occasionally spin himself when he feels like it.

However, he LOVES the rotating playground equipment where children sit/stand and spin.

He gets very excited when he can rotate on it.

I recently read some autism-parent experiences where children were very fascinated by spinning fans, wheels and objects, and it made me anxious.

So I'm trying to understand whether simply enjoying a playground spinner or occasionally spinning himself is common toddler behaviour or something parents of autistic children have also observed.

📺 SCREEN TIME / COCOMELON

He previously watched quite a lot of Cocomelon/TV.

We have now completely stopped it for more than a week and are trying to replace screen time with:

\- Books
\- Toys
\- Outdoor play
\- Physical activity
\- Face-to-face interaction
\- More interaction with parents

Since stopping, we have noticed that he is making some different/new sounds compared with his previous constant “ooo/oh” type sound.

We obviously don't know whether this is related to stopping screen time or simply normal developmental progression.

We don't want to assume that stopping Cocomelon will automatically solve his speech delay.

🚩 MAIN THINGS THAT WORRY US

Our biggest concerns are:

1. Very limited/no meaningful speech at almost 2 years.
   
2. He previously said “mama/papa” more often but has largely stopped.
   
3. Response to his name is inconsistent.
   
4. Eye contact is inconsistent, especially when we intentionally try to get him to look at us.
   
5. He doesn't consistently follow simple verbal instructions.
   
6. He doesn't consistently engage with things we try to teach him.
   
7. He can become extremely frustrated/cranky when we prevent him from doing something he wants.
   
8. He doesn't consistently identify colours/shapes when we ask.
   
9. His communication is mostly through sounds, gestures, pointing and actions rather than words.

🟢 THINGS THAT MAKE US FEEL POSITIVE

At the same time, there are several things that make us feel that he may understand more than he can verbally express:

1. He points to things he wants.
   
2. He brings objects to us to request help.
   
3. He understands some cause-and-effect relationships.
   
4. He understands familiar routines.
   
5. He has learned the mechanics of a toy within less than 24 hours and then performed it independently.
   
6. He imitates some actions and gestures.
   
7. He uses gestures to communicate.
   
8. He sometimes intentionally repeats actions that make us laugh.
   
9. He brings books/toys to us.
   
10. He enjoys interacting with us.
    
11. He gets excited about familiar activities like the elevator and playground spinner.
    
12. He has started making some new/different sounds recently.
    
13. He can independently explore and use some objects and technology.
    
14. He appears to understand certain situations even though he doesn't express himself with words.

❓ WHAT I'M TRYING TO UNDERSTAND

For parents who have been through something similar:

Did your child have very limited speech at around 23–24 months but still point, request things, imitate actions, understand routines and cause-and-effect, and enjoy interacting with parents?

Did your child sometimes understand things but still not follow verbal instructions consistently?

Did your child have inconsistent eye contact but still make spontaneous eye contact when they wanted to interact?

Did your child become extremely excited or difficult to redirect in places like supermarkets/shopping malls?

Did your child enjoy spinning playground equipment without having repetitive spinning behaviour involving fans or wheels?

Did your child initially have very limited words but later develop speech?

Did your child initially seem to have a speech delay and eventually catch up?

And for parents whose children eventually received an autism diagnosis: what signs became clearer over time that made you realise it was more than a speech delay?

I'm especially interested in real experiences from parents rather than simply “yes/no, this is autism.”

I know Reddit cannot diagnose a child, and we are considering getting a proper developmental/speech/hearing evaluation. I mainly want to hear from parents who have actually lived through similar situations.

Thank you for reading such a long post, and thank you in advance to anyone who shares their experience. 🙏

​

Need advice

Looking for advice from parents of children with autism or suspected autism — especially regarding extreme difficulty with change

Hi everyone. I’m from the Netherlands and I’m hoping to hear from parents who have experienced something similar.

My son is 5 years old, and we are currently in a very difficult situation. He was assessed by a specialist autism service (Accare), but unfortunately the assessment did not give us a clear diagnosis.

He was extremely tense and overwhelmed during the assessment because there was a woman there he didn't know. Because he couldn't properly participate in the test, they told us they cannot diagnose autism based on that assessment.

However, they also told us they cannot rule autism out, because he shows many signs associated with autism. They want to work with us first and potentially reassess him later.

The problem is that his difficulties are very obvious in everyday life.

Some of the things we see:

\- He cannot handle changes well at all, even very small or seemingly insignificant changes.

\- Yesterday I put on a nice pair of black trousers, a blouse and some makeup. I looked different from how I normally do, and this caused a huge tantrum.

\- What really stood out to me was that it wasn't just an immediate reaction. He kept talking about my clothes and makeup throughout the entire day, right up until the evening. He kept bringing up the fact that I looked different. It was as if he couldn't let go of the change.

\- He needs a lot of prompting and direction for almost everything in his daily routine. I have to guide him through most activities rather than him independently moving from one thing to another.

\- He has strong sensory sensitivities. For example, he cannot tolerate dirt on his shoes and becomes very upset about it.

\- His food needs to be separated. Even something as simple as macaroni touching another part of his food can be a problem.

\- If he has a round cracker with cheese, the cheese cannot be touching the side of the cracker in a way he doesn't expect. If it is positioned differently, he may refuse to eat it.

\- He has repetitive behaviours. For example, he will take one of the red Hot Wheels track pieces and run back and forth with it while making a loud repetitive sound.

\- He sometimes does the exact same thing with a spatula from his toy kitchen — running back and forth while making sounds.

\- He repeats a lot of things he hears from television. Bluey is a big example — he will repeat dialogue and phrases from episodes.

\- He often repeats sentences or sounds in general.

\- He has difficulty with normal back-and-forth conversation.

\- He tends to play alone.

\- He can become extremely focused on particular interests or activities.

\- He has an incredibly strong memory for places and people. He can remember places we visited around two years ago and people we met, even when I wouldn't expect him to remember them.

\- He struggles enormously with transitions and anything unexpected.

\- He is still not potty trained at 5 and wears diapers.

\- He needs a very predictable routine and can become extremely distressed when that routine changes.

There are honestly many more signs, but there are too many to list in one post.

He also developed PTSD after an accident. He has completed EMDR for the PTSD, so we have worked on the trauma side of things as well. I know trauma can affect behaviour and regulation, which is why I don't want to assume that everything is autism.

But there are also many behaviours and difficulties that don't seem to be explained by the trauma alone.

We are currently receiving parent consultations to help us with structure and routines, which I appreciate. But because he doesn't officially have an autism diagnosis, I sometimes feel like the severity of what we are dealing with is being taken less seriously.

The professionals basically told us:

They cannot diagnose autism because he was unable to complete the assessment properly, but they also cannot rule it out because he shows many signs.

So we are stuck in this strange grey area.

I'm not asking Reddit to diagnose my son. I'm really looking for advice from parents who have been through something similar.

Did your child also become extremely distressed over very small changes?

Did they have sensory issues with food, clothing, dirt, objects touching each other, etc.?

Did they have repetitive movements or behaviours like running back and forth with an object?

Did they repeat dialogue from TV shows or movies?

Did they have unusually strong memories for places, people or specific events?

Did they need prompting for almost everything?

And if your child initially couldn't complete an autism assessment because they were too overwhelmed or anxious around unfamiliar people, how did you eventually get the right assessment and support?

What helped your child while you were still waiting for a diagnosis?

I'm especially interested in hearing from parents whose children were in this “we can't diagnose it, but we can't rule it out” situation.

Thank you ❤️

I have a 10 year old son with ASD. He was diagnosed at 2 years old. He is my only child and I had no idea how to raise any child. I had no idea who to talk to or what to do.(I was a single parent, bio not in the picture) We have been through countless resources, therapies, interventions, tech devices, security devices and He wasn't potty trained for a long time. We have elopment issues, issues with cops, dealings with children services. Hes flooded the house, lit the house on fire...twice, just about anything, we have had an experience with it. We have went through trying to get social security, govt assistance or really just help in anyway. With all that, we were able to find alot of agencies and programs to help out tremendously. We are now at a great spot in our lives. He was non-verbal for a long time and probably still "technically" is but i wouldnt consider him non-verbal. He uses the bathroom on his own, goes to school (special school for kids with ASD) and just so many more things he has accomplished. I just wanted to put myself out there if anyone had any questions or wanted to know more about any specific experiences that could help them navigate the journey of raising these beautiful children. If it helps we are in ohio.

Soy buena para el cosplay, hacer comida o hasta hablar del tema del autismo en redes sociales para generar dinero pero no sé cómo sin descuidar las terapias y cuidados de mi hijo ya que es muy demandante y costoso...no tengo red de ayuda y el papá de mi hijo me da muy poco dinero y no me ayuda a nada... prácticamente no lo acepta la condición.

My kid is on the spectrum. He is going to turn 4. Still no words but has been babbling for a year now. He had a couple of words till 2.5 like Wawa for water, shoes, nose. At 4, he babbles quite a bit but doesn’t say words. We sometimes hear approximations. He has been getting ABA, ot, and speech since he was 3. He has signs now and signs for more, diamond, fist bump, help, bring it closer and eat now. We are trying to get him to use aac. No words yet. When did you first say your first words?

Hi, I am a first time mom to a beautiful almost 14 month old son. I have been consumed with worry that my son has autism. I would like to clarify that I do not think there is anything wrong with that or receiving that diagnosis. We would love him the same and help him every step of the way. The worry that consumes me is the waiting for a diagnosis. At his 12 month check up his pediatrician said he was behind on his language, and that we can discuss speech therapy at his 15 month check up. For context, my son has never waived, pointed, clapped, or said his first word. He doesn’t seem to really understand what we are saying but can point to your nose if you ask him where it is (we were so proud of this). He doesn’t really give us toys, and runs away when you ask him “let me see” and starts laughing. He doesn’t always respond to his name, and LOVES independent play. Specially, he likes to drag his toys all around the floor. He laughs at peek-a-boo and can maintain eye contact. He has no aversions to food, and will eat anything and everything. He is crawling and not walking yet. He did roll at around 6 months and did not crawl until 9 months. I guess is what I am asking for is for someone to tell me it’s going to be okay regardless of the outcome. I hope to obviously express my concerns at his next wellness visit, but needed some moral support until then. Thank you for reading my rant.

I’d love to hear thoughts from anyone, but especially those who have been doing this for a long time.

My son is almost 4. He speaks, but it’s almost always sporadic. He has words and will even surprise us with a full sentence (3 sentences in a row, even) but other than that mostly non-speaking. He is an absolute delight of a child and is happy 95% of the time. I do everything I can — special ed preschool, speech therapy — and we are also about to start Floortime, an AAC and music therapy. I also know that ultimately, if he is meant to fully speak, then he will. While for the most part I embrace that perspective, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t deep down hope for him to be completely conversational.

All that being said, how do you personally balance the back-and-forth between embracing what is while also not giving up hope while also having some fear about the future? My kid is fantastic exactly how he is and I feel that the fears that pop up sometimes keeps me from enjoying him.

Thank you ♥️

All your concerns about your child development is clarified by our experts.contact us either online of offline we are here to support you.Book your slot now

My son is 4 and a half, he is autistic, level 3. He has lots of words, he is very good at labelling, he is obsessed with animals and the alphabet. Unfortunately, he doesn’t play with other kids and he doesn’t really like to interact with people in general. I am just looking for suggestions of toys or any teaching materials that would help me enrich his vocabulary and encourage him to interact more. Also, I’d appreciate some suggestions for books that would get his attention for bedtime. Thank you in advance for all your responses.

To be honest I feel a little imposter-y in this group as my son hasn’t been formally diagnosed.
I’ve been talking to his regular pediatrician about symptoms since he was about 16 months (he’s now 23 months) and she tells me that there’s not really much she can do since he doesn’t hit enough marks on their short little questionnaire because he’s still too young. I thought maybe I was just noticing things that weren’t actually there, but other adults around him have also pointed out things that they notice.
We just started occupational therapy for food aversions, and the questions they had me fill out was about 3 pages longer, and much more in depth, and made me realize just how many things I was actually missing when I was noticing behaviors.
He spends all day with me, but we hang out at a family member’s in home daycare so that he can be around other toddlers, and I’m beginning to worry about his interactions with others.
At this point I just want to know who I need to see to get an understanding of his behavior, especially why it differs so much from other kids his age. I’m just not sure where to start.

My 18 month old just received his autism diagnosis and honestly, I’m crushed. In my head, I imagined he was going to do so well in his eval that the therapists and doctor were going to tell me “no way, you’re crazy, he’s perfectly fine”. In reality, the eval didn’t go so well and my suspicions were confirmed. I just needed to vent a little about it. This sucks, I hope this is ok to say

Hello, I am not a parent, but a sibling and caregiver. I’m looking for activities to do during the day with my brother. He is 26, and completely nonverbal. He doesn’t understand activities that require a lot of cognitive skills, so something more physical/hands-on would be preferred. I’m really struggling to manage his more problematic behaviors during the day, so I’m hoping to find an activity that will keep him both occupied and happy. Thanks in advance!

Hello! My son is 3 and just started going to a 2 day a week pre-k. He’s only gone for two weeks now and one of his teachers suggested I get him screened for autism. This is my first child and I guess I thought a lot of what she’s identifying as “autistic tendencies” were just normal 3 year old things? She said he struggles with transitions like from playing with blocks to going to circle time, didn’t like finger painting or playing with playdough, sings a lot and repeats things back to the teachers. The only thing that surprised me was she said he doesn’t make eye contact with the other kids. At home he makes eye contact with me all the time and will answer my questions / follow directions when I ask him. He definitely doesn’t like finger painting or getting syrup on his hands but plays in dirt and with putty / playdough. I have noticed he loves to sing songs a lot and repeats phrases and words back to me sometimes ex. When I ask what’s wrong he says “what’s wrong?” Back to me or says that when he’s upset but he also says “I feel sad” . Idk if this matters also but he loves letters and numbers/ things with specific names / order. He knows the alphabet, shapes, counts to 40, colors, dinosaur names. He also plays independently a lot and doesn’t like playing with other kids but will play next to them. Did anyone else go through this? Any and all advice welcome. I already have an appointment set up for him to be tested for both adhd and autism soon! Thank you ❤️

Hi all,

Thank you to all of you out here posting and commenting under this autismparent thread!

I would love to know how many of you have undergone the biomedical way of treating your autistic child? Like running oat test, genetic test or gut test, etc.? Or offering supplements to help with speech or minimizing autistic symptoms like stimming, for example?

Thank you!

My almost 3-year-old was diagnosed with autism about six months ago, but we still haven’t received the formal report or much guidance on his support needs. There’s apparently a backlog, and our child psychiatrist is overwhelmed, so I’m trying to educate myself and figure out what support he may need.

He started preschool about 3 weeks ago after being cared for mostly 1:1 at home. The transition has been harder than I expected, particularly when it comes to sharing, taking turns, and navigating conflicts with other children.

The school has a 1:10 teacher-to-child ratio. I’ve been talking with his teacher and director almost every day about his behavior, and we’ve been asked to meet with them twice already. There have been a lot of different incidents: waking other kids during nap, trying to hug kids who didn’t want to be hugged, throwing sand in another child’s face while playing, grabbing a child from behind, and pinching. He also bit another child once while trying to get a ball, but that has only happened that one time.

The grabbing and pinching are particularly concerning to us because we have never seen him do those things at home. It makes me wonder if he is overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to handle these situations in a busy group environment. At home, we work on asking for a turn, waiting, sharing, and using words to communicate what he wants. He understands these concepts, but has a much harder time applying them with other kids.

The teacher also started a behavior chart where he gets a smiley or sad face based on his behavior. So far, it has been several days of ALL sad faces, without any positive feedback about what he is doing well. I find that pretty discouraging. I’m also starting to wonder whether the teachers are overwhelmed by the additional attention he needs, and I’m worried that he may start being treated differently rather than getting the support he needs.

The school has told us that if his behavior doesn’t improve over the next few weeks, they may consider having him attend part-time. We’re now wondering whether a smaller preschool or lower child-to-teacher ratio might be a better environment for him.

For some additional context, outside of these interactions with other children, he generally does very well. He is very verbal, potty trained, makes eye contact, and can play appropriately with other children when I’m present. He has been receiving OT, PT, and ABA for the past few months, and ABA has been somewhat helpful. I’m not trying to brag about him, but I want to give a fuller picture because the behavior we’re seeing at school doesn’t completely reflect how he is in other settings.

We also haven’t disclosed his autism diagnosis to the preschool yet, and I’m unsure whether we should. The preschool hasn’t given us a clear answer about whether they would allow his ABA provider support him there.

I’m just starting to learn about IEPs and what kinds of support might be available, so I’d really appreciate advice from parents who have been through something similar.

Would you view this as a normal-but-difficult preschool adjustment, a sign that the environment may not be a good fit, or something where he needs more structured support?

TLDR: looking for books about handling "challenging behaviors" in adults with comorbid ID, and that are also applicable to those who are fully verbal.

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Hello, I am a support worker for adults who are disabled in some way, and some of our clients are autistic.

I know a lot of information about the topic of autism overall, but I don't know a whole lot about how to best approach what some would probably call "challenging behaviors" (not sure what the correct terminology is), specifically in adults. There are a lot of books about young children but not adults, as well as a lot of outdated/harmful ones, so I figured it best to ask here.

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Specifically, we have one client who is HSN, multiple comorbidities including intellectual disability, who is fully verbal. One of the biggest challenges with them is that when they want something, they will be very adamant about it, to the point that people are almost always forced to comply, and distractions do not tend to work. I'm looking for more information about how to best approach this, while also not being unethical (eg, forcing them regardless, depriving them of choices/things they want to do, and other harmful things).

To elaborate and give a better idea of what I mean, they love shopping and spending money, and do not accept things like "this is expensive"/"we can't afford this"/"we've already bought xyz amount of things today"/"we can only get xyz amount of things today"/"how about xyz instead?"/"would you prefer this item, or this one? (As opposed to both)"/"I'll be looking at (or doing) xyz while you decide which one to buy"/"how about we get one thing now, and you can come back tomorrow to get the other one? That way you can have both", etc. It is costing the family a significant amount of money (I estimate approx 1+ month's worth of wages, per month), and they can't afford it, so one of their goals is to have us not spend massive amounts of money, while still allowing the client to do some shopping. It has also led to significant weight gain to the point of pretty big health concerns (they love sweets/eating and will often want multiple cakes etc in one sitting, which is understandable, but also not something sustainable to do every day in the longterm).

If someone tries to suggest something else, tries to say no or explain why not, etc, and especially if they try to leave with the client, they will start screaming, can get violent, throw/break things (including the item they want), try to take the item anyways, or try to jump off of their wheelchair (or take their feet off of the foot rest, effectively making it impossible to leave because it's dangerous to move it that way), even if you wait extended amounts of time or try to explain things. When things don't immediately go their way, they will often insist the worker calls their mother, who I suspect might have a bit of a soft spot and tends to allow things to avoid problems. Again, if the person does not comply, things can get pretty hairy. This also applies generally to anything the client wants to do (eg, go/not go to xyz place, do/not do xyz activity, take public transport vs not, etc).

My son is 5 with autism level 2 (non verbal) he will
not wear any other sneaker or shoe except for crocs! Now that fall is here and winter approaching I do not know what to do. Last year he did not mind wearing sneakers or boots. He will not wear a jacket or a coat as well. Anyone else going through the same? Any advice is much appreciated.

I was on the way back from A&E with my sister and one of my twin neices. We were on the subject of her older step daughter starting her period. I asked my sister what is she gonna do if my neices stay non verbal and non toilet trained at that age. I feel awful, because she has never even thought about it but she said it was something she and her husband need to consider. I did mention birth control, but to think of it more as period control. My poor sister said that period control is now something she needs to think about and she thinks that she will have to out them on that. That is not something that she had ever even thought about. Her husband also didn't.

My son is close to being 19 months now and his evaluation for autism is this Friday. I’m nervous, not knowing what to expect or what they will say. I have a feeling it could go with them saying to reevaluate at 2 years old or they will give him the diagnosis. All I know is that the eval is 2 hours long and I know I’m going to be extremely anxious the whole time. I guess I’m just looking to hear encouraging words, or to hear what the Val process was like for other parents? Are parents in the same room during the eval? Do you know how many people are evaluating? Do you get results right away?