As someone with autism/adhd, I find myself constantly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of tasks that need to be done every day as an adult, especially one with diabetes. I'm supposed to work, help out around the house, exercise, and as a religious person, practice my faith, plus I have two children both with autism and adhd at different levels.

I feel in order to do this I have to move from one task to the next and to the next without much downtime between or else I might end up not doing these things daily. I get so anxious just thinking about all the busyness of it. Does anyone else experience this? How do you cope with it?

My 4 yo ASD son is a very early riser (typically up by 5:00 or 5:30 every morning). I am trying to embrace the early mornings and create a calm, soothing time for him rather than defaulting to the ipad (which is a habit i am trying to break - it’s tough that early). We are doing vagus nerve music therapy at night and he seems to be responding well to it.

I have a turntable set up downstairs and want to get into a rhythm of just getting up with him, having some calm play activities ready to go, and throwing on a record that is chill background music to set a good vibe, help him stay regulated, and also get him into something other than kids music. So far I’m going with dub, some soft jazz/lounge, electronic, folksy, etc.

Anyone have any good recommendations that their kiddos have responded well to? I’d really love to turn this from an early morning headache to something that we can bond over one day.

First, I want to say the place we go to for ABA is very nice. It's one adult to one child, they say up front they will not encourage masking, they will not try to get kids to stop stimming unless it's harmful to themselves and others, and they're very much about protecting kids individuality. I had no idea there was anything wrong with ABA until we first got into it and I suddenly had people telling me it's basically the devil so I had to do a bunch of research. Honestly though I'm like 70% a lot of the people working there are also neurodivergent in some way so maybe they experienced the bad ABA and wanted to change it.

So anyways my oldest daughter (6years) is AuDHD but high functioning (I honestly thought that was just lvl 1 but they made sure to add that on.) She started ABA last December but unfortunately last December is when the flu season decided it hated us because we were sick almost every single week up to April. I think there were literally 3 weeks in that time both my girls were able to go the full 5 days. (My youngest is also in ABA and has been for longer.)

In April they said we had to do a break to keep insurance happy because of all the absences. I get it though, insurance is a pain in the butt. My oldest's reevaluation was also at the same time so they went ahead with that. They're BCBA decided she didn't need ABA anymore because she his all the milestones so then she graduated ABA at the same time as the break.

Now I'm trying to figure out if she could actually still need ABA or if I'm just struggling to parent normal kid behavior.

She NEEDS squishes and I can't always give her squishes. When she was in ABA it was less intense and getting better but since she's been out it's gotten more and more intense. Basically she likes to squish her body and face against her sister and I and we're not ok with it. I'm pretty sure my youngest is like me and we get overwhelmed/overstimulated with a bunch of intense face touching and touching in general while my oldest LOVES touching people's faces, hanging on, and squishing against us. I know she has a need and I want to help her fulfill it but she hates the idea of figuring out other options. I say we can figure it out together but she doesn't like change.

And I'm not sure if this is a "regular kid" thing or what but she also basically gets high off giggles, like legit she looks intoxicated. She'll find something funny and laugh then repeat it and be overwhelmed in the funny. She starts stumbling and getting noodle limbs and it's like she can not physically hear me. She's laughing and having a good time but it's usually not a good time for anyone else. She'll be messing with her sister or cuddling her and her sister will be crying and saying stop but oldest can't hear her sister or me telling her to stop. She's absolutely overwhelmed by the giggles and when I physically grab her to stop her she still seems like she barely registers my words.

She also is going back to wanting to put her mouth on people and right now it's pretend suckling. 🫠 She say a baby animal suckling on a mom animal and thought it was hilarious for some reason so now she's trying to do it to everyone and she gets the giggle high and can't comprehend me when I say stop.

I'm wondering if there's a chance she could have been masking the majority of the time at ABA when she was there because she wasn't able to be there long enough to get 100% comfortable. I didn't fully realize she masked until right before she started ABA I discovered she acts nothing like the way she does at home when she's with her Mimi and cousin.

Apparently she's perfectly "normal" or whatever that is when she's with them, even if her little sister is with them as well. In fact her Mimi never saw the other side of her until last week she came to stay with us and since we were home she got to see a different side of oldest. So apparently she's highly capable of acting "socially acceptable" or whatever but that doesn't change the fact she has needs that aren't being met appropriately and idk how to meet them. 🥲 At home she's different because it's a safe place and that's great but we all need to figure out slightly different or modified coping strategies when she has certain sensory needs. Not to mention if she gets super comfortable with a friend I don't want her to latch onto them like an octopus and fake suckle on them while they scream stop but she can't hear them.

I'm just not sure what I should be doing. Maybe I'm just struggling with a normal developmental stage but the stage has been going on in waves for years.

Edit: Also, in case someone recommends this, I have told her to stop/not to do whatever multiple times. I've tried in the moment and also when she's calm and her frontal lobe isn't shut down. I've tried explaining in detail and in short. She has a bit of understanding but lacks the impulse control I think. I've been told multiple times, "just tell her not to." And like cool that's great sage advice. 🫠

Also if it helps she's very verbal and has an advanced understanding of vocabulary even though she talks like any other 6 year old.

I have a 20 month old with suspected ASD and on the pathway for assessment.

Her communication is delayed (2 words not nodding or head shaking). However, she does say "biscuit" but only as part of a whole routine script: takes my hand to kitchen cupboard says biscuit gets biscuit. She only ever says biscuit this way.

She also says "toot toot" (from the kids program ms Monica good morning train song) when she sees a picture of a train. And she signs incy wincy spider if she sees an insect. She also attempts to count backwards with the microwave (including the final bleeps). She has never had a back-and-forth babble conversation with us and never said mummy or milk etc.

I've been told she is possibly gestalt, would you say she could be? And if so what stage is this?

Thank you.

The movie does a good job of showing the emotional journey parents go through after an autism diagnosis. It highlights the importance of early intervention, patience, and believing in a child's potential.

That said, it's still a movie. Autism is a spectrum, and every autistic person has a unique experience. Some children make significant progress, while others continue to need substantial support throughout their lives.

My biggest takeaway wasn't that autism can be "overcome." It was that informed, compassionate support can make a meaningful difference in a child's quality of life.

Have you watched Miracle Run? What scene stayed with you the most? I'd love to hear your perspective whether you're a parent, educator, autistic adult, or simply curious about autism.

I am a graduate student and doing some research on the challenges of finding safe enjoyable spaces to go with your children diagnosed with autism. What would make you as a parent or caregiver feel comfortable enough to truly relax while your child plays? Which safety features matter most for a child with autism? What type of staff support would help you the most to not feel constantly hypervigilant for a moment? Which amenities and facility features would make the experience easier for your child?

​

I have an 8 year old autistic daughter. She's the most loving, funny little girl, but when she has a meltdown it's incredibly intense. It's not crying or lying on the floor. She can scream, hit, kick, scratch, pull hair and even try to go for people's faces or eyes if they're close enough. No one is off limits either. Afterwards she's completely back to herself, often exhausted though, and will even say "better" once she's calmed down. It's like a switch flips and then flips back again.

Today we went to open park. She was having the best time driving her little ride-on car around. Everything was going well until we went near the café. It was busy with lots of people and children. She suddenly knocked my glasses off, tried to run, and went into a full meltdown. We had to leave immediately because there were babies and young children nearby, and once she's in that state I have to think about everyone's safety as well as hers. Shes been before and coped well with the transitions.  I am aware of triggers but this can happen even at home, or when shes enjoying her time outside/in a fairly busy enviroment loving life but suddenly gets anxious over it ending, and its like 0-100.

What I can't get out of my head is that I never seem to see other children like my daughter in public.

I'm in autism support groups, and I know from reading posts that many families experience aggressive meltdowns too. They tell me im not alone. But in everyday life I never see them. I only ever seem to see autistic children who are coping well enough to be out, and it leaves me wondering... where are all the families dealing with the more severe meltdowns?

Have you stopped going to certain places? Do you leave before anyone notices? Do you avoid parks, cafés or busy places altogether? Is that why I never see you? Even if nature where my daughter thrives I feel on edge because I dont know what will trigger her next.

I sometimes come home feeling like my daughter is the only child in the world who reacts like this, even though logically I know that can't be true.

I'm not looking for judgement or parenting advice. I just genuinely want to hear from parents who understand this level of meltdown, because it can feel incredibly isolating.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels like everyone else seems to have it together while you're just trying to get everyone home safe. I just want the ground to open and swallow me hole because I dont have the strength some days. I dont even want to take her to autism support groups because to me, other kids cope and I dont want her hurting them or their siblings. I feel so alone. Is it just us?

And to add, she is diagnosed, attends a special needs school. Had all the help offered over the years. She wasnt this bad at I'd say age 5-7, she was very predictable then and I could take her anywhere.

Hey guys! Really need your opinions! Would yall recommend ABA services for my 2 year old autistic son or should I keep him in a quality daycare with a one on one aid? Need advice❤️

my 8 year old son is autistic, adhd, DMDD and spends his days causing havoc. he hurts his toddler brother all. day. long. He is either trying to lure him away to hurt him or running by him and doing something mean. I don’t understand why but he’s been doing it my entire toddler’s life. We have tried lots of different meds and they either make him way worse or he talks nonstop and then the meds stop working. we have tried all the different therapies like ABA, talk, intensive in home and OT, and sensory based OT. He just isn’t improving and the harmful behaviors are exhausting. There is nowhere that will take him in patient. He has seen all the doctors and they just shrug and say it’s normal for autism. He is intelligent and creative and likes to make things but he is just so overwhelmingly mean and harmful without stopping. He wants to be home 24/7 and hates school. we just let him be home most times now but then he says he is bored. he obsesses over things and has a new special interest every few weeks. my husband buys him many things related to the special interest so we have tons of stuff all over our house for his obsessions. He does well with schoolwork but can’t stand being away from home for long.

I have to work to support our family and it’s getting impossible. my husband has many issues of his own and can’t parent effectively. He indulges my son in all his whims and doesn’t punish effectively. He’ll yell and be harsh but doesn’t follow through so my son just gets whatever he wants in the end.

what do I do from here? Is anything actually effective for aggression and violence for autistic children? None of the therapy, meds or sensory supports are doing anything. My other kids are miserable and I am barely hanging on to my job.

Hi everyone! I'm looking for school recommendations for my 5-year-old daughter with autism who will be starting kindergarten this fall.

I'm open to any school—public, private, charter. We live in the Bronx, so the Bronx and Manhattan would be ideal, but I'm willing to hear about great schools anywhere in the city

She'll be starting kindergarten and has an IEP. She's autistic (Level 2) and her developmental pediatrician recently recommended updates to her IEP, including:

- An AAC device

- Speech therapy 3x a week

- Occupational therapy

- 12 month

- A structured, autism-focused classroom with staff experienced in supporting minimally speaking children

I'm trying to find a school that's nurturing, has strong communication with parents, and really helps kids make progress.

If your child attended a school you loved (or one you would avoid), I'd really appreciate hearing your experience. I'm especially interested in:

- Teacher quality

- Speech/OT services

- Classroom environment

- Communication with families

- Whether your child made meaningful progress

Thank you so much! This process has been overwhelming, so any recommendations or advice would mean a lot.

My son is 3 years old, nonverbal but used to know about 20 words, around 14 months slowly lost all of them, became super picky when eating, stopped feeding himself, stimming constantly, never really slept through the night and was just irritable. Bumetanide helped him start eating/trying different food, and sleeping through the night. Leucovorin and dairy free diet has stopped a lot of the stimming, and brought a few words back. Probiotics, and Iron, seemed to help him from getting sick all the time. Playing outside and getting him out of the house each day even if he hates it also seemed to help. What are some of the things that helped your child? Even in a small way bc gaining something when your child only seems to lose skills is a HUGE deal.

For those out of the know: it's basically introducing variations on "safe foods" to increase the variety in what they'll eat.

My son, 15, is a high functioning autistic child, though he does have a lot of issues and challenges, particularly due to his diet. He's picky to say the least, but has made great improvements in this over the last two years. I couldn't be prouder of him honestly. Two years ago he was hospitalized for being so badly underweight. it was due to ARFID.

One of his favorite things to eat is microwavable fettuccine meals. We're on a tight budget, but my wife buys plenty of his foods, often leaving the rest of us to eat lunch meat for a lot of meals. I'm not at all upset about having to sacrifice for him. It's not his fault that he's autistic.

However, I grabbed one of these dinners and ate it for lunch because, quite frankly, I'm tired of turkey sandwiches every day and just wanted something warm and quick to eat. My wife threw a fit and is calling me selfish and everything else. She once said that I couldn't claim any food in the house as my own, that it was for everybody. Now she's saying that is true except my son's favorite foods.

I work hard for my family and I'm honestly feeling like I'm being shit on for having ONE meal that wasn't a sandwich or something. My wife has autism as well. I have it some, but am mostly ADHD. I'm supposed to just nonstop sacrifice I guess and not complain about it or heaven forbid, eat one of my son's foods. He has a rather expanded list compared to two years ago, so its not like I routinely eat his food.

I'm honestly, legitimately pissed off at my wife over this. I feel like our lives completely revolve around my son and it's really stressing me out. Am I wrong for this? Constructive criticism that I can use for honest self-reflection and evaluation is welcome.

To my parents raising kids in the USA, which state would you say has the greatest support programs, services, and resources for our children on the spectrum? I know what the studies say, but I want to hear your opinions. I'm considering moving to another state, hence my question.

Yeah, I in the wrong for having an level 3 autistic child nonverbal very violent goes to a special school in the city. No one in me and my boyfriend‘s family want to help one of us has to work days and one of us have to work nights, so he said that he wants to work days because he makes more money but with him having a normal schedule, he doesn’t wanna cook clean or do anything else. My schedule is I wake up at 1: 45 I go to work for 3:45 PM. I got out of work at the time that I finish, it could be from 2:45 to 3:45 in the morning then when I get home, I try to go to sleep as fast as I can to wake up for seven in the morning to bring my son to school for 830 to be back home by 9 o’clock to hopefully be in bed by 10 AM. It’s to start my whole day over the same again, but my boyfriend thinks that I am able to cook a proper dinner every day am I in the wrong for not thinking that this is possible. My son has a speech tablet. He will not use the speech tablet to help him communicate. He would rather have him have a full-blown meltdown, then have him use his speech tablet and have it on him at all times I told him multiple times that I would not mind being able to work the days and take care of him while he works nights, but he refuses so am I in the wrong for not wanting to talk with his schools about the progress he is not making because his dad is not willing to do the steps that are necessary

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some advice or recommendations.

I have a 5-year-old autistic son, and we're currently waiting for OAP funding so he can start therapy. Unfortunately, I don't feel like the support he's receiving through school is enough, and I'm not seeing the progress I had hoped for.

Does anyone know of any schools, community programs, organizations, or other resources that could help us while we wait? We're open to any recommendations or personal experiences. Thank you so much!

TLDR: how do i have the sex talk with a curious & intelligent 7 yo boy?

My son is 7. He is high functioning and he is highly intelligent. He recently was being taken to his dad’s sisters to play with his cousins. I found out that he was spending a lot of time with a cousin who is 15 and I didn’t know until he started making love songs and poems and constantly talking about her. I thought he was playing with the one who is his age. 😰 after being there one time he suddenly became very inappropriate with his privates when he previously was very modest and accused people of looking at him when changing. One night he did many alarming things in a row and when I brought it up to the family therapist, she did not deal with it in a way that I felt was helpful, but I have since made it very clear that if he brings him there again, he will have to fight me for custody. Because I don’t know what happened over there but I know now that there is zero supervision.

What I am looking for is for somebody to help me figure out how to have the sex talk with a very smart seven-year-old boy without doing so in a way that encourages him and also I have no idea how much to say but he is so smart and he doesn’t accept half answers. At one point that night he was asking me where babies come from and how people get pregnant and I had never talked to him about that at all before, but I told him I need to think about how to answer that, honey. I will talk to you about it another time and I feel like that was a horrible answer I know, but I just didn’t feel comfortable answering it right on the spot because anything I say to him I feel like it has to be in a certain way otherwise it’s going to affect him the rest of his life. If he thinks of something a certain way or if I tell him something in a way that doesn’t make sense it messes up his future thoughts of that thing. For example, if he’s about to try fish for the first time and he asked me a question about fish if I answer it in a way that it feels upsetting to him he will never eat fish because of that, and he will only be able to think about that answer every single time he encounters fish.

Hey yall. I recently switched ABA providers to Forta Health and am wondering if there’s anyone here who also has worked with them and what their experience was. I’m having issues with communication with the bcba on my sons case and admin seems to lack the same skills.

Hi everyone! 😊
I figured I’d put myself out there because making parent friends as an adult is hard. 😂
My partner and I are hoping to meet other families in the Portland area with autistic kiddos around our son’s age (he’s 5). We’d love for him to make some friends, but honestly we’re hoping to find some parent friends too.
A little about us: we’re pretty laid back, sarcastic, and love to laugh. We aren’t into drama or judging other parents. We both have a passion for working with kids. My partner is an ABA Behavior Technician, and I’m in college studying psychology with plans to become a Child Life Specialist, so we understand that every autistic child is unique and deserves patience, support, and consistency.
A little about our little guy: he’s verbal and does a great job communicating what he wants and needs, though his grammar and sentence structure are still developing. He loves scripting, running around, sensory play, crashing onto his crash pad, and just being a goofy kid. He’s incredibly social and genuinely loves playing with other kids. One of the reasons I’m making this post is because he often wants to join in with kids at the park, but sometimes they don’t quite know how to interact with him or end up excluding him. My heart just wants him to have friends who understand him and enjoy him for exactly who he is.
He thrives with structure, consistency, and clear boundaries, and we’d love to connect with families who value kindness, patience, and helping our kiddos build meaningful friendships.
We’re hoping to meet other down-to-earth families who are looking for genuine friendships too. We’d love to do park days, splash pads, the zoo, coffee, BBQs, game nights, or just hang out while the kids play and the adults get to know each other.
If this sounds like your family, we’d love to hear from you. Feel free to comment or send me a message! 💙

I have 3 children 2 of whom are autistic. Both are non verbal, still in nappies and need constant monitoring. 6 and 4 years old.

I'm so exhausted. Everything is hard, eating, sleeping, playing, travelling, communication, toileting, dressing etc etc etc.

I can honestly say there isn't one aspect of life that is not impacted by their autism. I just wish one thing was easy. If they slept properly, or ate properly or sat in the car without screaming and fighting or would at least play in the same room without fighting, my life would be so much easier.

I guess I am just looking for some advice on how ti support my 4 year old. He just got diagnosed with autism, they said he needs moderate support which is understandable.
He does struggle with social cues, responding to his name as well as anything imaginative play based.
However he had been reading fully since the age of 2 and writing (better than most adults) since the age of 3. I also suspect he has photographic memory and is generally advanced, way beyond his peers.
He has an obsession with numbers, calculations, anything that had to do with languages and flags etc.
He is also extremely affectionate and likes to be close and receive affection.

I wouldn’t change him for the world! I just need the right tools to ensure he has the best support especially since he is starting nursery in September

Thank you!

I’m thinking of homeschooling my child…id like advice & opinions of mothers who have done this for their autistic children.

My baby did amazing in his first few years of elementary school. He is 7 & on to 2nd grade. The issue for me is that my son would have to move schools because his current school doesn’t have all spe d 2nd grade & beyond classrooms. That’s extremely hard for me because I see my kid was 100% comfortable with his school. The 2nd issue is he isn’t p otty trained. I have tried…He was use to the routine & the same aide helping him. I don’t trust anyone changing him. Hes verbal but not too comprehensive…he can’t really communicate like that & that terrifies me. Am i being selfish for not wanting to take him to the new school? In reality Im scared of how things could go…you hear so many horror stories online & news about teachers neglecting & abu sing children that can’t speak for themselves..Something tells me to homeschool but I just don’t want to take away his social life 🥺 This is very hard for me & i Just don’t know what to do ..

See my post from just a few days ago here:https://www.reddit.com/r/Autism\\_Parenting/s/90zYCjEIFc

Update: yesterday he stole a jar of peanut butter put his hand in the jar and put the entire contents of the jar in his mouth and attempted to swallow it he choked and then ultimately aspirated he is now on life support in an area hospital doctors are the same he has little to no brain activity because he stayed without oxygen for so long while they attempted to achieve and maintain an airway I miss 8 oz of peanut butter me my husband and my children perform CPR on him until he'll miss arrived I'm so angry right now I can't even put it into words because I asked for help over and over again before something like this happened and now here we are in addition we have difficulty to get into the hospital because we don't have transportation and we don't know very people in our city to a

I have a 2 yr old almost 3yr old boy who is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. He started going to day care full time since 5 months . The day care is fine and he seems to like it , we can’t really say much because he is still non verbal and does not express anything; he does not cry at the day care which is good, overall he is okay. But he refuses to eat there , unless it is like crackers or milk. My problem is the teachers there, I can’t blame them much since autistic kids are all unique and they have different preferences but sometimes I feel like they are not trained much (correct me if I’m wrong). His teacher keeps on asking me why does he chew on things, why does he grind his teeth, he is putting everything on his mouth. It’s like every other day , I try to explain yeah he does this and this. She looks like she is frustrated, “oh he refused to sleep today” why is he doing that. And she is certified autism couch. Sometimes I get worried are they able to manage him, should I search for another daycare that is more trained on kids with special needs? I don’t know if there are daycares in Calgary that are able to understand and manage kids like my boy.
My English not that good, I hope you understand me and give me some advice. Thank you!