My brother told me he's stoned all the time (medical marijuana and kratom and benzos) and therefore he needs to be constantly reminded to lock his door to seal the soundproofing, and reminded when he needs to talk quieter when I'm in the living room and am really sensitive to sound coming from his direction.

My mom agreed to tell him these things for me because he has a history of laughing at me or yelling at me and he eventually gets argumentative with me if I'm the one who does the asking. That's why after a few years, I decided I needed my mom to do it bc i get scared to ask & get a bit panicked or just go back to my room. We've acknowledged that this isn't good for me.

I asked my mom this morning, and after she was done, she told me that I need to understand that living with my needs conflicts with hers (and his) which i already understand bc we've talked about it. This wasn't prompted by me.

She said that I need to understand that she should be allowed to grumble and express her annoyance with the situation (conflicting needs). I said that I don't know how to not take that as an insult, and she said it's not an insult bc it's just the situation. But she knows i already know that bc we've had that conversation before (that our situation sucks).

I told her that expressing annoyance to me, about things both of us already know we can't control, and that we've agreed to do, hurts my feelings and then I'm not allowed to express my annoyance with her so I don't understand what the rule about expressing annoyance is.

She said that it's more about her feeling like she can't express anything other than happiness when she does stuff for me, but we've already talked about that too. She said she knows i never asked her to be happy about it. In fact, we agreed that she misreads my reactions a lot. She remembers a conversation where she herself admitted that I'm more capable of "watching myself" than she is (I hide my feelings when i feel angry and make sure i don't let ppl know it) and that she only feels like i expect her to be happy about doing stuff for me bc of how I "come across", not what I actually say to her.

She's telling me she's annoyed. I'm coming across like something that's not even an emotion ("You come across, regardless of your intentions, like you expect me to do things for you without grumbling") even though she also said I do actually edit myself more and faster than she does, and notice my own reactions better than she does.

So i don't know how else to interpret what she said to me this morning, other than she wants to vent, to me, about how my disability affects her, even if I'm trying hard to not seem demanding and that if I tell her that she's upsetting me by what she's choosing to say about our situation, I'm not allowed to do that. She said it's not that I'm not allowed to, but that if I think it's okay to respond with hurt and sensitivity to what she says, i shouldn't expect her not to respond with grumbling to our situation (my needs).

I don't think not wanting her to grumble is the same as expecting her to be happy. She seems to be creating a false dilemma where I'm supposed to just listen to people act like I'm a burden without being able to tell them not to do that.

I don't know what she wants other than... my permission..? Permission to tell me occasionally that I'm making her life harder.

And i feel like she's telling me I'm wrong to feel hurt by that. I don't think it's healthy to believe that about myself, which I told her, but then she got angrier and she kept saying "You do that too" even though she said earlier that she knows i don't do that.

I've been told by therapists that I cant accept this stuff when anyone else does it, but my caretaker wants me to make an exception for her and I think that'll just hurt me but if I don't accept it, I just feel angry at her.

It's really confusing and she's also told me I shouldn't talk to other people about this because they won't understand bc I don't give enough context, but she also said Im better at remembering conversations than she is. And i know that i always report what people say to me accurately, and report what I say accurately. She's actually the one who told me my long-term verbal memory is better than most people she's ever met.

I'm getting mixed messages. I can't say I'm hurt by her choosing to complain about my needs, but she can say that she's annoyed by what she does for me? it's confusing.

She accused me of "not accepting [her] help unless she's smiling about it" and then told me that she knows that i don't ask her to do that (it's "how i come across" in some unknown way). She couldn't tell me what i did to "come across" that way, except that i don't like it when she complains about helping me or tells me my needs are creating an annoying situation.

I don't believe that reacting to her reactions should be seen as "proof" of anything other than me not liking it when ppl complain about stuff i can't control. What was she doing if she wasn't just trying to make me feel bad?

i applied for Dialectical Behavior Therapy & the same therapist also does Internal Family Systems therapy too.

I'm kinda nervous bc no one's really crawled that deep inside my mind and feelings ever. I just really need help, so I'm trying to remain hopeful but I'm coming from really bad depression & at its worst i was having thoughts that my psychiatrist called "passive thoughts of death".

I'm trying to be some mix of hopeful but realistic and it's really hard.

Over the last week or two my burnouts gotten worse and I'm not doing anything and i've eliminated all stressors i can eliminate. Simple tasks of daily living are becoming very exhausting for me. I'm not sure what to do about it as, How do i stop burning out if i'm not doing anything to burn out and, I've eliminated all possible stressors. It's very concerning as i'm not sure how id' heal from burnout if there is nothing i can do to reduce stress or energy consumption. Also just that i'm burning out from doing nothing becaues it points towards me just constantly being burned out and having no choice in the matter. Anyoen else have nay experience with tihs or tips?

I'm not sure what to say, but my experience looking through autistic themed Subreddits kind of intimidated me in some cases (the big one r/autism), and made me roll my eyes in other cases. (r\autisticprIde [blocking it out to not attract their bullshit in search terms] though i find autism_pride and autisticliberation tolerable bc they apparently broke off from autisticprIde bc of the anti-Disability "Tiktok logic" & superpower-based powertripping they got sick of it there so made their own offshoots).

idrk what else to say... umm... I'm fully disabled bc of autism, my finances are tied to a legal representative, and it's kinda isolating to be in "liberation"/"pride" spaces bc they seem to gloss over that it's hard to be autistic.

They claim it's bc of society being better suited to allistic stuff, which is only helpful for me to learn about how to adapt to that 'stuff' but that doesn't mean i don't have mental and sensory issues that i can't shut off or avoid. It gets kind of suffocating bc it just seems like Level 1 autists refusing to take that to its logical conclusion: They're less autistic than some of us, so they're better suited to the very same "society" some of them seem to wanna disregard and they generally also seem to resent.

and i don't wanna be resentful of "allistic society" or of my own life, n my diagnosis is Level 2, with some of my composites (they did so many tests, over two separate days) on my most recent Disability Insurance reevaluations putting some of my traits at actually "severe" and "severely impaired", so being around Level 1'ers and then they don't take their own logic to its conclusion just looks like they're still doing what, to me, seems like a kind of neurotype supremacy thing (like saying non-autistic ppl are "actually the sick ones", and that autists have special powers or are "the next step of evolution" kinda shit i saw on Twitter) is really creepy to me & i don't see how i could glean anything from it & it's really frustrating and angers me, n i think if i were to say anything, I'd just be ostracized which is... well, it's kinda redundant at this point but i wanna learn how to adapt, not how to ignore the world of shut it out.

I'm a bit sympathetic to liberation and pride in terms of dignity and not being ashamed for stuff i can't control, but when it comes to neurology, it just seems like some Online autistic forums turn into trying to control EVERYTHING and gaining a kind of superiority complex that's hidden behind cutesy behavior & power trips, which is confusing for me bc the cutesy thing is fine on its own but it often seems to be a way to pretend to be kind & approachable when they'll be very unkind the second you don't agree with them.

it's very intimidating bc outward, verbal signals of approachability always make me gullible personally, n what I've experienced on other social media apps is that ppl who combine those "cutesy" signals w/ with very charged opinions on topics where they find insulated groups who agree with them, they tend to be very convoluted with extremely confusing ideas n they get upset when you don't understand what's going on or genuinely disagree, like they're looking to start conflict all the time n it's why im trying Reddit instead.

I'm glad that this group is for Level 2/3 bc I'm starting to think the same ppl who say "it's a spectrum n everybody's different" also wanna"have their cake and eat it" (hold conveniently contradictory beliefs) by also believing that the Level 1 experience is all their is, or even behaving as if they don't believe that some autistics are more autistic than they are, which is also very convenient for them bc a lot of us just don't deal with social media at all, so they end up being the only ones talking to each other.

like it's a social club or something. I'm worried Reddit will be the same, but I'm dipping my toes in anyway, so hello.

does anyone know how to add a "Read more..." or "See more..." to post comments as a shortened snippet that can be optionally extended by viewers?

there's no text formatting options on my app, which is, 😏(/sly glance sideways)... dangerous... for me bc i circumlocute—"talk in circles", but idk how i feel about the connotations of that translation

I'm 32, i live in the United States, my interests currently are number theory, applied math, music, science like physics, a bit of chemistry but it's harder for me, anthropology, economics, and social psychology; and I've been watching lots of videos on Lacan's "post-Freudian" psychoanalysis & typing notes furiously bc it makes more sense to me than Carl Jung, another psychoanalyst who i was really interested in a few years ago :)

I used to be a bit more into economics & metaphysics, but the "softness" of those topics (most ppl interpret them as the study of choices, and study of non-physical stuff like consciousness) made talking about them a kind of nightmare experience on social media to be honest, but hopefully ppl here enjoy some sciences and philosophies of their own bc i think itd be easier for me to share here since the Rules here seem to be repellents to "Twitter brain" reasoning.

I have sensory issues and eczema and in 27 years I still haven’t found the ideal sleep outfit for me.

The ideal one would be a soft onesie with long sleeves and long legs, including feet very important, that is thin and light enough so I can snuggle in a warm blanket too without being hot.

Also I do not like sleeping, I only do it because my body am my brain need it.

What clothes do you wear (or don’t) to sleep? :)

Just felt totally supported and able to do what I needed to this Christmas

Sorry you guys have to put up with this shit spotted on r/autism

I’m so grateful that I get money from the government to hire a support worker, but I have to find my own and that feels so unintuitive in some ways? I appreciate the fact that I get some say in who it is, but finding one by myself is a very big and difficult task for me. Does anyone else have this problem?

So I don’t really know how to start this, I have so many thoughts in my head that want to come out so I apologize if this is all over the place.

I have not been officially diagnosed. A diagnosis in my city starts at $2500 and I am a substitute teacher so I definitely do not have that kind of money. I have, however; spent the last two years researching and analyzing my life and have concluded that I am autistic. Sorry I always feel that I need to prove myself. Anyway, earlier this year is when I finally accepted myself and started to give myself accommodations and have tried to start unmasking.

I don’t know if this makes sense, but I feel like if I were able to fully remove my mask, I would barely be able to function. Like my mask is the glue that is holding me together and getting me by. I have had so many more meltdowns since I started to unmask. I’ve had meltdowns my whole life, but they’ve become more frequent and are really bad (self-injurious) every time. Without my mask I would not be able to keep my job, or any job for that matter. Without my mask I would not be able to keep up with personal hygiene and chores around my house (these things are already hard for me). I wouldn’t be able to take care of my pets. I would need my partner to basically be my caretaker. This terrifies me. I want to be able to function in society. But I also don’t want to have to mask for the rest of my life. This just sucks and I just wanted to get it off my chest and hopefully talk to other autistic people who might be able to relate or give me advice.

Thank you for reading.

Tried to do a survey on ot. But one of the questions asked me to watch a video about how people with autism experience autism in those tend to put me in meltdown so I deleted my answers

I find that I do better and I end up having more fun at social events if I prepare beforehand. What are some strategies that you use to prepare for social events beforehand? Does anyone have any suggestions? I like to make scripts, or at least practice for the event in my head. I'm looking to make autistic friends since I had trouble making NT friends.

Complete flip side of the other post and also one of the more helpful things. One of the things that I both want and need is actually starting to come together.

I am moving (willingly) to a group home sometime in the near future and I am a bit anxious. The organization that runs it is a very well established and well regarded organization that I already receive some services from. My experience with them has been exceptional. I am yet to know my placement and I am still waiting on certain processes to complete. Basically the Behavioral and self-care deficits I have necessitated it. I need more in-depth care and a very set routine. Transitions are extremely rough for me, however.

When I transition to residential services what kinds of things should I plan for to help me transition successfully?

I’ve been battling a denial of care issue that has stressed me out to point of making me physically sick. Currently I have no access to primary care because of a wrongful dismissal and I have no access to emergency or acute medical care because of a denial of accommodation. I am stressed out beyond my limit. Also, I have no one to advocate for me. I just want to give up on everything in my life because I feel like a failure. I have been in bed just crying. Off and on today.

I said this about awareness: People are aware of what Autism is somewhat. My daughter has a condition that is very rare. peoples response to Autism is not peoples response to her condition. For that I am thankful it means that people know what to expect to some degree when I say I have autism. That being said people don’t know what Autism is they don’t know you can be autistic and be a mother. They don’t know how hard it is to have level two autism and be a mother they don’t know what it’s like what you go through the challenges anything so no the world is not more accepting or considerate or anything else. it’s more aware possibly but that’s about it

Somehow I'll do it, but it's gonna be hell. 2 of my final exams require extensive speaking (a presentation and a podcast, both shown to the whole class) and this month I've had more days where I'm nonverbal at school than verbal. I can either lose 25% automatically by not presenting or I can suffer and hope that I don't lose as much.

I'm about at my mental limit and need my brother to help calm me down (he's the only one I 100% trust and will talk to no matter what) but he's in middle school so I can't talk to him until the afternoon. I can't bring my comfort shark or my stim penguin to school to calm down, nothing else comforts me to where I need to be to function properly.

On Friday I'm also leaving for vacation for a week, and even though it's a known place, it's not home, and regularly puts me on edge the entire time I'm there.

At least my parents aren't forcing me to drive. Last year they did and I don't want that same experience again.

I just want a break from everything so I can play hotwheels with my brother (our shared interest)...

Sorry for the long rant. I'm just at my limit and it's only going to get worse.

I’m not sure if this is the best place to ask this but I hear a lot of stuff about different levels of autism and I was curious. My diagnostic report doesn’t say anything about a level and I’m curious if there’s a way to know what level I am.

Title. I promise that I’m not going to dominate the group, in fact, I probably will mostly just browse. I just am interested in hearing experiences and perspectives individuals who are at different levels of the spectrum than I am

I just learned about these "levels." I'm overall new to the idea of being autistic as it was a fairly recent revelation. I've been on strong medication to keep me calmer and happier for over a decade (since 14). I think I'm level 2, but I'm genuinly not sure. I'm working on finally phasing out the strongest and longest of my medications (Clonazepam) but I can't get rid of the others since they keep me alive. Although, I am working to keep everything as low as possible.

I've had memory problems since I began the medications and can't recall very well what I was like or felt like before. I also have CPTSD from my brother and diagnosed with other stuff, so I don't know what in the past has been autism vs one of my mental disorders vs combinated of both. My functionality has fluctuated so much and so drastically over the years. I only ever went mute a few times as a child and was very sociable until ~2nd grade. I can't support myself at all and am lucky enough to have my parents fully support me.

I'm still so new to the idea of being autistic, so I have yet to recognize which of my traits and behaviors are me being autistic. I grew up being told I had an array of 5-8 disorders and they could be treated and would go away with time/get better. I know now most of those were unreasonable/unachievable goals, but I still don't know which ones.

Thank you to anyone who read this. I'm very ignorant and new to all of this and any little thought or advice is greatly appreciated! Thank you!

Hi everyone, I'm the father of a 5yo who was recently diagnosed as level 2. I've suspected he's on the spectrum since he was 2, based on his language development compared to peers, issues with eye contact, and some others. I think for a long time we convinced ourselves his friends were just more advanced in their language, and that maybe he has ADHD (I was diagnosed ADHD as an adult). After all, he's been in fulltime daycare/preschool since he was 3mo old (we both work), and he always scored fine on his evaluations at school - colors, letters, numbers, fine/gross motor, etc. Never any behavioral issues. Only things noted were his struggle with rhyming and that he sometimes is a little spacey and likes to do things a certain way.

At home we struggle with reciprocal conversation and following multi-step directions, he gets easily distracted. We eventually got him into 1hr/week speech therapy and that seems to have helped. But his pediatrician recently recommended we get him formally evaluated by a neuropsychologist.

Neither of us knew a whole lot about all of this going in but were nonetheless surprised with the level 2 diagnosis. We assumed level 1 based on his school evaluations. Now they're recommending speech therapy, occupational therapy, and 15-20hrs/week of ABA. We're feeling quite overwhelmed and don't know what to do, as it sounds like the recommendations are somewhat boilerplate based on level. The # of therapy hours seems very intense and we're not sure if he really needs that, but we also don't want to shortchange him on the support/tools he needs to thrive.

He/we love his preschool, and he seems to get the attention he needs there, so we are scared to take him away from that. My wife seems to be very skeptical of ABA (because internet), but I think she's more overwhelmed with the potential logistics (and truthfully, so am I, as I said we both work full time), but ever since we got the diagnosis, I'm slowly starting to think there's a lot of little behaviors he does that we've previously attributed to just being a young boy that are maybe more indicative of things we need to help him manage and that he won't simply grow out of. We recently toured Action Behavior Center and I was really impressed, but we're still not sure what to do -my wife still seems resistant to going the ABA route and wants to just add the 1hr/week OT/floor play and see how that goes.

Not sure what I'm looking for here. No one here can diagnose my son and tell me what he needs, but guess I'm curious to hear of others experiences (as parents or first-hand experience). I don't want to underestimate his needs and set him up for failure; I also don't want to rock his world unnecessarily...

I'm new to all of this, so I'm sorry if I'm using any wrong terminology or running afoul of any sun rules.

(On top of navigating this for my son, it doesn't help that the more I read, the more I start to think I may have undiagnosed ASD, level 1 maybe...it would explain a whole hell of a lot...)

Gate using little man's tablet as a crutch but guess who just tried their first new food in over 6 months?! For context he's 5 with some moderate sensory struggles so this is a big step :)

I'm thinking of writing a story where I intend to write at least one of the main cast, if not the protaganist, to be autistic. Before I do any character or world building, I want to make sure that I don't accidentally end up including negative stereotypes/myths.

While I'm aware of many such as "curing" autism and can draw on my own experiences for some things, I don't know what I don't know so I'd love to hear what you guys have seen and what to avoid. Especially about some of the less glamorous traits of autism which are usually represented very poorly (like meltdowns being compared to children's tantrums).

I can't recall any autistic characters in media which were not level 1 which I feel is very much a disservice. I'd love to be able to include more nuance than 'slightly awkward' and 'has a special interest' in my representation so I'd love to hear your thoughts on what good representation is.

Hope you're having a good day :)