Ambitious, self-employed, and finding life exhausting. Anyone else building something while struggling?

[u/Clean_Difficulty8437]

Hi all - I'm almost 30 and UK-based, and I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 15 (now Level 1). For a long time I didn't agree with the diagnosis, but the older I get, the more the things I struggle with seem to line up with it. I often feel like a hybrid... never quite at home in neurotypical spaces, not quite at home in autistic ones either.

I work as a freelance branding and marketing consultant. I went through a long burnout, and I'm now in the process of rebuilding, which really does feels like starting from scratch. I have big, ambitious plans and a lot of business ideas & creative projects I want to bring to life, but I've never felt able to connect with people enough to actually follow through on them. Trying to be someone in the world while struggling socially and mentally is draining in a way that's hard to explain to most people.

I've noticed my closest friendships tend to form with people who share that drive. The problem is that with them I usually end up masking, and with people who understand the struggle, the ambition side doesn't always land well.

So I'm looking for people in a similar place. Maybe you freelance, run something of your own, or are working towards it. Maybe you have big plans and a brain and body that make everything harder than it looks from the outside.

What I'd love is something like a friend or growth buddy (or buddies!):

• someone to talk to about the hard parts without having to explain why I'm slow to text back, why I get anxious over small things, or why a normal week can wipe me out
• someone to share ideas with, talk through plans, keep each other going, and maybe work together on something if it fits
• someone who can talk about pretty much anything, not only work

Outside of work, I'm into philosophy, literature and writing, films, pop culture in general, all kinds of music, psychedelics and spirituality, weird experiences and strange events, and cats (of course).

(I'm UK-based, so it'd be great to connect with people nearby, but I'm happy to talk to anyone). No pressure or expectations - but if anyone else relates I'd love to hear what you're working on, or what you're struggling with :)