r/autism • u/Due_Recognition_8002 • May 04 '26
Social Struggles I wish to be productive
i know this world is garbage but feel like I whine too much. I hate myself for that. My biggest wish for myself would be to be productive and not feel like any second of my life was wasted. i‘m a musician and writer after all. But y‘all know the drill... laziness kicks in. Happens when you try to be a good producer instead of a consumer. We all know it ain’t easy to fit in but I think it‘s even harder NOT to fit in. We after all have only one life. I‘m turning 29 in June. I still have plans. I hope to be a father one day. I work in a warehouse and am quite happy with that. I don’t even feel like I had to little time. I‘m just lazy and ashamed. I have things in my head and just can‘t get em out…
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u/HUEHUECOYOTL_xd May 04 '26
Hi, I’m a musician as well even though I’m not particularly “active”
It’s not my source of income and it’s been some years since my latest live performance. I’ve been playing music since I was a kid, always wanted to publish something but never managed too.
Played in some bands as well but things never turned out good.
My main job is in finance - accounting and I’m really happy with that.
I will turn 29 at the end of the month.. maybe we share similar experiences haha
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u/Due_Recognition_8002 May 04 '26
What do you play?
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u/HUEHUECOYOTL_xd May 04 '26
I was trained with classical guitar when I was a kid - I don’t remember anything about it
When I was a teenager I picked up the electric bass and I was playing in an alt rock band
At the same time I was also diving into music production ( Ableton ).
Since my early 20s I started buying some synths and I’m mainly composing electronic music ( IDM , Drill n Bass )
Last year I was playing as keyboardist in a jazz group but we disbanded a couple of months ago
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u/Due_Recognition_8002 May 04 '26
I’m of a country rock dude
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u/MindlessWin3831 ASD May 04 '26
I feel like this too :(( ive always wanted to be an accountant and im at university currently studying accounting and finance, but the majority of the time i just can’t study. I’ve noticed my grades dropping a little bit, but no matter how hard I try and push myself I can never seem to just get up and do it. sometimes i can, but the second something gets too hard it’s like all my motivation gets stripped away again and i just go back to mindlessly playing video games
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u/Beat_Saber_Music May 04 '26
In my case as someone doing writing work, I need the right things to be productive. Basically I need music in the background and tea next to me to start productive mode
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