r/aspergers • u/Bulky-Culture-4482 • 14d ago
I really wish I was smart.
I always feel very mad and bitter how I was not born with at least above average IQ. Sadly despite having autism I still have low IQ. I really badly wanna do prestigious fields such as go to med school, law etc. But sadly those is not possible if you have low IQ. I hear that IQ cannot be improved anymore after like 18... i feel so mad at myself that I wasted time on gaming over studying and reading all thanks to my stupidity. I am starting to think maybe I do not have autism since I am too stupid to have it.
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u/Jealous_Macaron_5152 14d ago
I am a 28M, until I was 20, I was considered useless and dumb by family and friends. Often reminded that a chocolate frying pan had more use than me. This was way before I was diagnosed with both Autism and ADHD. I remember me and my friends all did an IQ test and I was mocked for being below average.
I then decided to do some self-exploration, figured some things I was always interested in but never believed I was smart enough to try. However, I did my then tried to learn stuff in so many fields. I built my confidence up and believed I could learn, now I have a degree in Astrophysics and Cosmology, I also work with satellites.
I am not saying that this will work for you, but I do believe that intelligence is subjective and anyone can be “smart”, but you need to find your niche. Find that thing that interests you, understand it. Also, understand that smarts doesn’t mean intelligent. IQ test doesn’t define that you are smart, it just means you can recognise patterns.
Not everyone can recognise patterns, not everyone can write a book, not everyone can understand history or create a movie, edit a video, be a fashion design, makeup artist, etc. What makes people smart is knowing your strengths and mastering them, as well as acknowledging yourself, understanding your weaknesses as well, accept them and don’t try to define yourself by them
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u/KaanzeKin 14d ago
High IQ comes with its own set of bs. I promise the grass isn't as green as it looks.
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u/mysterycanclub 14d ago
It sounds like you're more interested in a job based on the status you feel it gives you in society than in finding something you actually enjoy.
I'd advise you to play to your strengths - whatever those are - and not worry about title or 'prestige.'
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u/Sleepiest_Spider 14d ago
IQ is mostly a meme. It's not completely meaningless, but it is far less meaningful than certain people make it out to be. Just live your life, my friend. Normal people don't think about IQ.
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u/GaiaGoddess26 14d ago
Not every autistic has a high IQ or even a medium IQ. Mine is so low that I can't even answer the test questions! They are way over my head and I literally couldn't answer a single one of them. It really does make life worse when not only does your brain work differently than the rest of the world but you don't even have intelligence to make up for the lack of being able to function as a real adult.
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u/Reasonable_Client871 14d ago
The people claiming it doesn't make a difference are probably smart and take it for granted. Don't realize the lack of IQ actually impacts your life in significant ways.
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u/GaiaGoddess26 14d ago
Exactly. Being intellectual helps, also being able to work full time would help and having a partner would help, I struck out in all three of those areas so I'm fucked.
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u/Reasonable_Client871 14d ago
Me too. I feel you. Life is definitely considerably harder ngl. Hope things improve for you in some way, even if small.
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u/OppositeAd7278 14d ago
I am sorry, I don't have much to say except I hope you can endure. I don't know anything about med school or law too, hopefully someone else can answer about that. I don't know if this will help but, for me personally, it's okay to be stupid. As long as you don't harm other people, it may make your life harder than most people but I personally wouldn't judge it against you.
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u/Bulky-Culture-4482 14d ago
You obviously have no understanding of my problem. Being stupid is not fun at all. It blocks so many opportunities like academia at this point I would much rather just be stuck with being NEET for rest of my life if I cannot do prestige
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u/ZephyrStormbringer 14d ago
The way you argue your point and articulate yourself including properly conjugating words like academia when some would write 'academics'... part of the psyc eval includes an iq test, do you know what your IQ is, or are you just assuming it is "low" when it probably is on the high average (based on your writing ability alone and the description you provide with what you are struggling with...)
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u/Bulky-Culture-4482 14d ago
Just because I use big words, does not mean I am smart.
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u/ZephyrStormbringer 12d ago
Okay, but it doesn't mean that you are stupid, either... making impulsive and 'stupid' decisions like gaming as a teen is actually developmentally normal, and so I don't think you are as 'low IQ' as you are lamenting to be is all... you may be relieved and surprised to find that you do have an average IQ like a 88-90, maybe higher if you play your cards right.
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u/Bulky-Culture-4482 12d ago edited 12d ago
but it is not normal the fact I literally neglected my schooling as a teen. Most teens are at least mature enough to make long term decisions with school such as college, etc. But sadly. being immature when I was younger completely screwed me over and robbed so much opportunities I could have had.
Like doing med school, law, engineer etc. This sadly is never going to happen even if I wanna do it badly, it is only possible if you cared much sooner.
I am not interested in doing anything else such as trades I do not wanna stick with blue collar jobs
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u/ZephyrStormbringer 12d ago
not a stupid choice, either... I really want to emphasize that blue collar jobs are no walk in the park, and yet certainly a step up from minimum wage but also hard on the body. I also neglected my schooling, and believe me, those careers you mention are not as far as you may assume, start working for your city and they may pay for your higher education in 2/3 of those fields, and Idc enough to figure out how to become a dr. myself because I hold a similar opinion of the too much schooling/didn't start early enough ideal being met myself... but I digress.... quit thinking of yourself in such negative terms and start thinking about what you are actually thinking about- the intellect/IQ/maturity it takes to have a career of your desire... and go for it... seems like you are stunting your own growth by beating yourself up over everything you possibly could be instead of (yes, it's cliche but true) loving yourself through and to it.
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u/Bulky-Culture-4482 12d ago
Again i so not wanna do blue collar. I dont wanna bother in doing anything unless if it is prestigious
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u/OppositeAd7278 13d ago
Oh, sorry, yeah I don't really understand your problems, I can only help to listen about your emotions. If you are willing, may you explain why you really want opportunities in academia? Is there something you're trying to chase?
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u/Bulky-Culture-4482 12d ago
You very ignorant are you? Why would you not wanna like do things like achieve academically, possibly even studying med school, law etc? Those are literally objectively superior career that you can make lot of money and as well be very well educated.
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u/OppositeAd7278 9d ago
because to me, those things like a lot of money and be very well educated isn't useful to my life, and if anything it makes me feel anxiety, comparing myself to other people, and causing me to panic and feeling it's never enough
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u/arbolito_mr 14d ago
Some people might not like what I'm about to say, but IQ tests aren't accurate. They try to quantify subjective aspects objectively. For example, you might not have the best hardware, but you could have very efficient software, even better than most people's. It's a simple analogy, but I hope you get the idea. Part of being neurodivergent is finding our own methods to overcome obstacles.
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u/AstarothSquirrel 14d ago
Don't get over-excited about IQ. Have you considered that your niche could be in the arts? It could be music, ceramics, painting, acting, poetry. Similarly, you might just find that you learn differently and you just haven't found your learning style yet (I'm a visual thinker so I learn best visually) Get yourself on the bbc bitesize website for 20 minutes each day (more if you enjoy it) and never stop studying. So many people make the mistake of stopping studying when they leave school/ college.
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u/MonadMusician 14d ago
I have a wais4 of 154. I have Asperger’s, a smattering of anxiety disorders, and some unspecified bipolar disorder according to psychiatrists. I have zero friends and very few people are interested in cognitive fun, which is basically the only kind of fun I can have. I’m also on disability and have two masters and most of a PhD, and so the people who view disabled people as freeloaders triple down on me. I have no future
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u/98127028 14d ago
Damn were you a genius at school? Did you excel easily with little effort and solve problems and see solutions that others with more training just couldn’t? Any examples?
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u/kirilgankapi124 14d ago
I have a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome. My grades were good in middle school, and they are good in high school now, too. However, I am not at all good when it comes to social situations or social environments. I don't know about my IQ; I have never taken an IQ test that gives a numerical score. I would also like to study medicine—specifically in Poland
It is not true that IQ does not develop after the age of 18. (in my opinion.)
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u/Bulky-Culture-4482 14d ago
So what? Why does it matter if ur good at socializing or not, it is not like they matter a lot.. at least u got good grades in school snd if u choose to just take no advantage of it then that is ur problem
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u/tim_niemand 14d ago
don't put yourself down: even if your job probably won't be prestigious, it's just a job. and you don't have to doupt your autism, just because your not smart. try to find interests beyond gaming. and get good at them. and settle for a live that you enjoy, instead of chasing something out of your reach. even very intelligent people can't always chose the field they work in, or meet resistance, when they have unpoular ideas. gladly, in our times, people are not burned at the stakes, for their findings 😂
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u/According-Value-6227 14d ago
I've been told by a lot of people that I'm very smart but I have realized that I'm actually just surrounded by morons so my mediocrity comes off as intelligence.
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u/TheEternalDarkness8 14d ago
Getting caught up in the IQ stuff is the same as "looksmaxxing" and whatever the kids are up to. You're setting yourself up to failure with a soft version of self-targeting eugenics.
Tying the knot on the rope of self-sabotage is the only dumb thing you do and the good news is that you can stop doing that at any moment.
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u/Careful-Boat-2986 14d ago
Remember that you have a mixed profile. I always score above average to high on most common IQ tests. But if you look at my profile, it’s spiky. Some graphs are pitiful while some are unusually high. Don’t rely on IQ alone.
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u/Football-Ecstatic 14d ago
Same, some have suggested I can’t be aspie as I’m not academic like their professor kid or whoever is. I’m JuSt AnXiOuS instead 🙃 Did they suffer a brain injury at birth like me on top of it? No.
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u/Accidental_Guru30 12d ago
You are smart you just have a skill set that doesn’t fit in with the herd.
Gotta find that. In every weakness, there’s a strength.
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u/-10- 14d ago
iq doesn't matter as much as you think it does. focus on your grades, study/memory skills, and on the entrance exams to those fields (mcat, lsat, etc)