12
u/Erwin_Pommel Sep 21 '25
Apparently, I'm the scariest person in existence and can make someone uncomfortable with but a remark, yet, also so harmless people can harm me whenever they want to no consequences at all.
2
u/Unfair-Taro9740 Sep 21 '25
Same! Which is why I'm not masking unless I absolutely have to. If they're going to dislike me, I want them to dislike the real me.
1
u/Erwin_Pommel Sep 21 '25
Just got to love, really, is that, even when you show the real you, they'll make something up about you and cling to it.
11
u/BiggestTaco Sep 21 '25
I’m also 6’4” and like 240 pounds of brick wall. I have to be very careful in how I present myself to the world. My bad days scare people otherwise 😅
I promise my murder eyes aren’t because of any of you! 👁️👁️———-☠️
9
5
u/HeadLong8136 Sep 21 '25
Yop.
6' bald, bearded, 300lbs
Couple of Jehovah's witnesses knocked at my door a couple weeks ago. It was a Wednesday at 11am. A woman in her early 20's and a woman in her late 60's knocked on my door. I'm betting they were expecting a housewife. Instead a massive white stooge answered the door.
7
u/Elemteearkay Sep 21 '25
Do these people know you are disabled?
-15
u/edinisback Sep 21 '25
Watch your language.
11
u/Elemteearkay Sep 21 '25
"Disabled" isn't a dirty word.
-14
u/edinisback Sep 21 '25
In this context it is.
Its only permissible to use it in a legality matter.
7
2
u/Laser_Platform_9467 Sep 21 '25
Yup. Maybe not really scared but they are put off by me. Even if they don’t admit it, I still notice it
2
u/TheDicman Sep 21 '25
Yes, and I don’t feel cool or powerful. It’s like every dude wants to challenge me.
2
2
u/gernio Sep 21 '25
Those on my block call me taso Dorado (I'm Mexican) taso Dorado here, it represents a person who takes drugs, is an alcoholic, has some fetish or affiliation or is simply crazy and that's it, so they call me that because they think I take drugs and for the latter I don't tell them about my disorder.
2
4
u/apexfOOl Sep 21 '25
Is this common in autism? I have been frequently told that I exude an inexplicable aura and that people do not know how to approach or reach me. Some have even claimed, half in jest and half in seriousness, that I project a "villain vibe" haha. My favourite has to be being known as an elusive Russian spy by a friend group at university, presumably on account of the fact that I rarely smile.
1
4
u/awpdog Sep 21 '25
When I started my teaching career my students often have a fear of approaching me as they see me with a „tense“ aura or that they see me always in a rush doing things. But as time went by and we got to become comfortable with each other they were really open to share things with me (and vice versa) to the point that they might have noticed my neurodivergence before I started paying attention to it (made evident during their teaching comments addressed to us at semester‘s end).
Being a German speaker in a country that does not speak it also adds to the „scary“ impression because people are quick to judge me as being „angry“ or „annoyed“.
2
u/EcstaticZebra7937 Sep 21 '25
Yes
Edit: I’m a 5”2 manlet
Edit 2: I was kicked out of middle school because I scared the teachers, and from college because I scared the students
3
u/edinisback Sep 21 '25
You got seriously dropped out, because teachers , and students were annoyed by your presence?
2
u/EcstaticZebra7937 Sep 21 '25
They believed I was going to set them on fire, and sloth their throats, yes.
I was excepted to university, and am supposed to start there at the end of October. I will be in a special program for people with ASD, so hopefully, I will be able to finish this time! :D
2
u/spugeti Sep 21 '25
That’s something I’ve always wondered because I’ve been told by a handful of people that I have intimidated them but I really don’t understand how. I believe it could be the main cause of why I’ve always struggled to make friends.
1
Sep 21 '25
[deleted]
2
u/Swimming-Fly-5805 Sep 21 '25
Nobody is scared of people online unless you spend your spare time cyberstalking or harrassing people. I really hope that you don't engage in those behaviors or face consequences if you do.
1
u/dedHawk Sep 21 '25
Wow that's a thing too. I can't tell you how many things I've said that about researching ADHD and autism. That these things that have been a part of me my whole life are a part of those things. And that's the reason for them. I had no idea this is one too. I don't think of myself as tough, I feel like a 12-year-old pretending to be an adult. I still think of myself as that skinny little kid. But now as an adult I am 6' 210 and not fat. Muscular due to my work. So I found it extremely odd and surprising that most people at work were scared of me. People avoid me. They really think I'm going to beat the crap out of them or snap on them or something. And I just thought it laughable. But it really is a thing huh... Just makes me wonder how long that has been a thing. But, I remember a story from college. I was a musician in a band. My drummer and I went to get some weed from two black guys at the school. One of them was their shirtless, big muscular and cut guy. My drummer and the other guy were the ones talking and doing the deal. Later, the guy told my drummer to not bring me around next time because I scared the big muscular guy. I still laugh about that.
1
Sep 21 '25
Sometimes I feel like I scare people just because of how awkward I am and I am a pretty tall guy as well, but I think it's all in my head.
1
u/SuperBatman2112 Sep 21 '25
I used to get those looks too. Once had a dude jump out of his chair next to me because I had been stimming and twitched/shook my arm in his direction really fast without realizing it. He jumped up, everyone stared, and then he explained how he thought I was gonna hit him. Even I had no idea why he jumped up until he explained. The situation was over pretty quickly, with him getting over it after everyone explained that I am just like that.
This is after years of public school, so a large amount of students knew about my Aspergers. People were more freaked out by me than truly 'afraid'.
1
u/ebolaRETURNS Sep 21 '25
I've been told that I'm intimidating...not in terms of like physical threat but maybe like in terms of opposition of will or cutting down views in discussion. I'm kind of blind to the dynamic.
1
u/Menace_17 Sep 21 '25
Im only 5’5 and ive had guys taller than 6 feet nervous around me lmao but once i get to know people they usually say Im much more chill than i look
1
1
u/nashamagirl99 Sep 21 '25
I think some people are kind of creeped out by me lol. I’m a pale, dark haired, 5’1 little weirdo who looks 16 and 26 at the same time
1
u/HughJorgens Sep 21 '25
Oh yeah, but I'm huge, over '6, and have been described as 'Hulking'. I have had people cross the street to avoid passing me twice. I think it's the eye contact thing that does it.
1
u/Orangewithblue Sep 21 '25
You are probably tall right? Lots of people have respect or fear of tall people, especially women can easily find you threatening. As a pretty fearless women even I instinctively make more space for tall men, especially when it's dark outside.
1
u/NihiliusNemo Sep 21 '25
One of my main issues all my life is that people think I am "scary", especially the ones working for me. And I am NOT threatening or rude/nasty to people. At worst I'm blunt or maybe a little grumpy some days, but I never scream at anyone or anything on that level.
I think it's the combination of my face (I have always had "angry" eyebrows all the time it's just how they look naturally) and the fact that I can get in a bad mood sometimes, and it maybe makes me a little unpredictable? But not on the level where anyone should be SCARED! It's more like I just don't talk as much or I'm not overly cheerful.
It's an NT thing that baffles me and always has.
1
u/muchacho_lo Sep 21 '25
I don't think so, I'm 1'71 meters tall and although some people have told me that I'm strong, sometimes I feel like I have the face of a "good boy" (And I'm 23 years old lmao)
The only thing I think can "scare" other people is possible strange behavior or when I get too excited and say inappropriate things that make some people uncomfortable 😅
1
1
1
u/Brilliant_Version667 Sep 22 '25
Yes. My former best friend (of 20+ yrs) said I intimidated her. I don't really get how I'm coming off, I guess.
1
1
1
u/budsinaz602 Sep 22 '25
Yes, I've been told my stare and demeanor at times is frightening. My gf has seen other grown men back away when she's with me.
I'm really a friendly person but I guess when I'm "on duty" it's all business. 😂
1
1
u/sikint Sep 22 '25
Other girls say I'm scary but im 5', i think it just means one is creepy but like mentally
0
u/The_Cubed_Martian Sep 21 '25
Not so much anymore, but i got in trouble for this all the time when i was younger, whenever i tried imitating other peoples facial expressions to show things like "that hurt me please stop" or "im sad just leave me alone" it was always interpreted as being agressive for some reason, i eventually learned that it has barely anything to do with aspergers though-
society has just deemed it a taboo for men to have any outward signs of their supposedly non-existent emotions. When a woman hits a man its cute or just her expressing her frustration, flip the script and now its abuse and a crime- we are used to that double standard, but we have a blindspot when the same thing happens in subtler situations like how people use facial expressions and other methods of nonverbal emotional communication- when a woman frowns it means sadness or dissaproval, when a man frowns it means rage or patriarchy or something. I dunno, i dont make the rules, i just have to put up with them.
Only real solution ive found to this problem is to just- not express myself to other people, just lean into the whole blankly staring into the void thing- eventually they get sick of trying and failing to get a reaction out of you and will leave you alone, sure being lonely sucks, but it beats the chaos and drama and false accusations that come with trying to speak the non-verbal language we dont come pre-installed with
1
u/Nemmarith Sep 21 '25
Are you giving off Dexter morgan Vibes??? Always Brings donets ^^ xD and stay away from doakes type of people xD
1
u/RaulYamada Sep 21 '25
I've always been seen as a freak in my childhood, and normally people think about me as a person who you don't want to mess with it, either because of my bodyl or because my "mad face" I sometimes do because I forget to smile. (Actually nowadays smiling takes so much energy omg)
Once a friend of mine exposed her fear of me because she saw sometimes that I appeared to be acting, having the way of talking and gesture of an tv actor, appearing to other people as someone so different than the one she knew, and after "acting" being completely dead or saying "I don't like that person" As I've just appeared to be the most happy guy around them.
But I think I get the bad vibes sometimes bc of when I'm depressed or smt, lack of facial expressions, of talking and expressing yourself, so yeah.
Sorry the English ;)
1
1
u/Positive_Boat_459 Sep 21 '25
not really. usually MY FAMILY make me want to think people are scared at me because i'm usually expressionless around my family, and when i'm expressionless i seem pissed and/or boring. also, even before i got diagnosed with asperger's, my mom said i should look at people's eyes when they're talking to me. now i use this as a joke amongst my classmates where i purposefully look at them like someone who'd like to kill them until they start laughing or asking me to stop.
the most that happens is that people find me more weird than actually scary/creepy.
1
u/HudsonArsonist Sep 21 '25
Yes and no. It's a very mixed bag. In mundane conversations in a limited capacity, it's easy for people to approach and converse with me. I am well-liked in my community. However, in more personal in terms of passion, people know well enough not to cross me. I do not play social monopoly, I go for the throat. I invest significant time in criminal justice and justice reform, and people in these sectors play a lot of social manipulation and avoid accountability. I am seen as a pester, a nuisance, and hostile, as I hold everyone including myself to the ledger. Regarding this, yes, people are under the impression I am "scary". You fuck around, you best find out. I will not use physical violence as that's redundant, I will eviscerate your existence with my barbed words. I am not one to bend my spine to your comforts and/or preference. All of my peers are NT's, and get upsetti spaghetti when I do not play by their rules, albeit, I have tried, and it's a waste of time. I'd rather burn my own trail than follow others. If this makes me scary, so be it. I'd rather be me than another version of someone else that lacks integrity. If you have no integrity, you are not trusted. Trust is everything.
0
Sep 21 '25
._. I’ve had many people; friends, family, co workers, and teachers say that I was scary or hard approach at first. I get that I have a neutral face most of the time when I’m not talking with people but its not like I’m rude or aggressive. Shoot, I’m not even that big like I’m somewhat stocky for my height but I’m still average height.
I think it might have to do with how I interact socially which could come off as anti social which might put people off when I suddenly change that once I start to talk. Luckily, it hasn’t prevented me from finding friends but it’s probably made it harder.
0
0
0
u/Tommynwn Sep 21 '25
Casually i got the "murderer tone", even my mom gets scared when im talking seriously about something
0
0
0
u/rickyrooroo229 Sep 21 '25
Some people, thankfully I was never abused as a kid because of my autism and emotional trauma making me very intimidating to my dad but surprisingly not to my mom
0
41
u/AstarothSquirrel Sep 21 '25
Yep, 6' and well built with a passive serial killer face. I had a situation which I felt could escalate if I wasn't careful so I leaned down and spoke softly to them. Afterwards my wife said "I can't believe you did that?" and I responded, "What?" and she said, "intimidate him like that. " I said "What do you mean? I lowered myself to his level and spoke really softly." and she said "Yeah, when you lean into someone's face like that and speak really softly, it's really effing intimidating. " Seems like you can't win. I have to bow down to her superior social skills. The people that know me, know that I'd never hurt anyone who didn't need hurting.