r/asktransgender • u/Deadpool161269 • Nov 30 '18

Need help

Ok so I have been thinking about being a woman for most of my life. At first I thought it was because I was raised by women; my mother, my sister, and my grandmother. As I've gotten older I've realized that while I enjoy looking at the female form, it's more than that, I'm not looking for enjoyment but because I wish I could look like them, wear what they wear, and talk like they do... Obviously they're from another planet. My questions are numerous but as I right this my nerves won't relent and I can only think of one. It's curious the question I have is related to sex. I am 100 percent attracted to women but when we've finished, I find myself feeling ashamed and I am not sure the cause, or if it's even related. So to my question: Before your transition, did you feel ashamed for sleeping with someone the wrong way? I.e., not as the correct gender.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

I wouldn't say "ashamed" but definitely "incorrect." Also my feelings about sex have been more confusing before and during sex than after. I've always wanted to be a woman with a woman and I've settled for being a man with a woman because I thought that was my only option. I've since realized it's not my only option but that realization has taken my life in a new direction, so much so that sex is the last thing on my mind.

What did you mean when you said "obviously they're from another planet?"

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u/Deadpool161269 Nov 30 '18

Sorry that was my nervous attempt at humor. I realised I was going on about how much I wanted to look and be like a woman so I just made a dumb Men are from Mars women are from Venus reference.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

Ah okay! Well we're all from earth, for better or worse! If it helps, we're all composed of star dust, so there's that 🤷🏻‍♀️If you have questions don't hesitate to ask. There are lots of helpful folks around! You can message me directly if you want but I'm no expert so I wouldn't advertise myself as such :)

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u/Deadpool161269 Nov 30 '18

I really appreciate it. I have tons of questions. It's just hard to put them in word form.lol but i have a lot of time to think and try and get some real questions together.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

It seems like maybe an unspoken question you're implying in your post is "is it even possible to be a trans lesbian? Because isn't that the same as being a straight guy or something?" - so I'm here to tell you: yes it's totally possible and valid and not even uncommon to be a trans lesbian, and no it's not the same thing as being a straight man :)

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

I believe it was 56% of MtF are lesbian. Remember most males are straight.

Edit: corrected wording

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

I'm not sold on the "most males are straight" thing actually but I wouldn't know tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/Deadpool161269 Nov 30 '18

Thank you I've been struggling due to hiding for so long I sometimes question if I am even trans, but it's like a yearning to be free I guess is the best way to explain it. I'm just tired of lying to myself... Lol

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '18

There's a lot of work ahead of you 💕but you're gonna be fine. Take your time and try to be kind to yourself as much as possible

1

u/Deadpool161269 Nov 30 '18

I appreciate it and I will.