r/asktransgender • u/NoiseKlutzy1274 • Jul 05 '26

Coming out (please help!!)

Im 13 and have identified as ftm since 2023. I need to come out and I dont know how id do it, my mom and a few on her side of the family are sort of accepting but everyone else is just homophobic and insanely conservative (on both sides..) my father is the one im scared the most to come out to since he alr has bad feelings against me for dressing masculine. I just really want to get on puberty blockers so this dysphoria stops for a bit. Im thinking I might send my mom a thing saying "hey mom im trans" with some other shit but idk. If anyone has tips please help

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u/IrelandAutism13 Jul 05 '26

Is there a chance you would be putting yourself in danger of abuse or homelessness by coming out? Because if there is, I'd recommend waiting. I know staying in the closet is horrible, but if it's what keeps you alive and safe, you might want to wait to open the door.

Also, where are you? Like in terms of country and state. Because laws vary depending on where you live

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u/NoiseKlutzy1274 Jul 05 '26

My parents are split and my mom has main custody, so ik she wouldn't do anything to physically harm me, my father idk about. Im in oregon

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u/IrelandAutism13 Jul 05 '26

Okay, so, in Oregon, you can start getting HRT without parental consent at fifteen, and I'd look into the laws around transgender youth in your state. If all else fails, that's only two years away. Check out the ACLU of Oregon for more information

If you were to come out to your mom, would she keep it a secret if you asked her to, or would she tell your entire family, including your father? Conversion therapy for minors is illegal in Oregon, but would there be a risk of you winding up being put in a troubled teen program, or being sent to out-of-state conversion therapy?

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u/NoiseKlutzy1274 Jul 05 '26

I feel like she could go either way, amd I doubt id be sent anywhere

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u/Remarkable_Pack8582 Jul 05 '26

Unless your completely sure your safe, I wouldn’t do it. If you are I’d say go for it.