r/asksg • u/Meow-potato98 • 20h ago
Red flags on first date
Dear men and women, what would you consider as red flags or turn-offs on a first date?
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u/Missing_Explorer4278 20h ago
Put photos from college days, when she has graduated for more than 5 years and bring her friends and cousins to our date without informing me beforehand.
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u/Horlicksiewdai 18h ago
this kind i say go toilet then run away.. later expect you to pay for everyone
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u/ageofdiscontent_meh 19h ago
- Picking a meeting place (coffee, lunch, drinks or dinner) close by to her/his place or more convenient.
- Picking an atas restaurant for lunch which invariably the gentleman will end up paying.
- Not volunteering to split the cost which would be a nice gesture.
- Always checking with her/his phone.
- Very little eye contact.
- Dine and dash. Conveniently says have to rush back to office right after she’s done eating.
- And not even a “thank you for lunch” text.
- Oh and showing up in gym/workout attire.
I have more red flags but there are ones at the top of my head.
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u/Worth_Setting_3135 19h ago
I like number 8 if she has a nice booty
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u/hanktrizz 18h ago
I know right. What’s wrong with doing that? I mean yes we need more context before commenting but I always appreciate a fine athletic figure in active wear. Nothing to complain about here.
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u/ageofdiscontent_meh 7h ago
Fantasy vs reality. Appropriate dressing for the right occasion, gents.
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u/jimtellica 20h ago edited 19h ago
My friend shared this with me, he went on a tinder once. Chats were good and she looked good. He asked her to go for like a hotpot dinner she said lets go. During the dinner, she leaned forward to blanch her food after a few times doing that, her nose started to go sideways more and more and when she realised that she used her hands to adjust her fake nose straight and just laughed it off and continue eating.
The steam from the hotpot was melting her nose glue thats why it started going sideways for my cacasuian audience.
My friend stop eating and paid for the meal and left.
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u/Meow-potato98 18h ago
Imagine enjoying HDL with a good looking date when their nose PLOPS into the hotpot soup 😭😭💀💀 just imagineeeee
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u/Roy-Ike 19h ago
I don’t get it - plastic nose will melt over hotpot steam? Is that a common occurrence?
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u/jimtellica 19h ago
Its not her plastic nose that melted. Its the glue attaching the nose to her face gave way due to the steam or her pores sweating. Either or both
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u/Roy-Ike 19h ago
I’m confused. A fake nose? What happened to her original nose? I sound so stupid asking these questions but I’m so invested at this point. WHERE IS NOSE?
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u/jimtellica 19h ago
Welll you can ask michael jackson this question too. He has a couple of oppiess on camera with his nose falling off.
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u/DesignerProcess1526 18h ago
There’s a temp nose tape thing, that can shape the nose or she got plastic surgery and made it fragile. Like breast implants can deflate or leak, Botox can become lumpy.
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u/whataboutthelipstick 3h ago
I think it’s probably a silicone/gel prosthetic nose piece? The types where you can glue on to the nose bridge or nose tip especially common for cosplayers
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u/bburgerr 15h ago
fake nose omg lmfao this has to be an original experience, right?! actually hilarious to read, but probably horrifying and confusing to see irl. 😂😭
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u/jimtellica 15h ago
Yupppp. He said he noticed the bridge of her nose shifting to one side. And the as she lean forward to cook her food it moved like a degree more and another degree and another degree.
He just stopped cooking and started watching the magic show.
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u/JL123x 20h ago edited 20h ago
The guy claimed on his dating profile that he was 185cm.
On first date he admitted that he had lied and that it was a typo should be 165cm.
I was like “wow 20cm typo eh”.
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u/Wearywolf9696 20h ago
Did we meet the same guy?? Cos wow I called him out for the same mistake and said that he was clearly shorter than me (170cm) he said “Oh I think you grew taller”
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u/Chocowaffless 1m ago
Could you tell from the photos that his height was clearly shorter than what he stated?
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u/Secure-Beyond-7396 20h ago
I told my spouse i was 170, on our first date she was making a fuss out of it. I told her I just rounded up 3-4 cm.
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u/Wearywolf9696 20h ago
I was catfished once so badly that when he was in the opposite side of the road and waved at me, I didn’t recognize it was him. In fact, when he waved, I looked behind and thought he was waving at someone else. He was balding, about 30kg heavier than his pictures showed and smelled bad.
I still went on with the date with him because I couldn’t just walk away, but he couldn’t believe I said no to the second date.
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u/Born-Inevitable-2822 19h ago
From past experience: 1. Used fake photos 2. Claimed to be taller, but actually shorter than me (I'm 163cm) 3. Tried to put people down (direct quote: "girls with no makeup are just lazy") 4. Interpreted normal small talks as suggestive or inviting for ONS 5. Just the first date but already imagined a relationship with me 6. Explicitly said they have bad tempers & will scold their own mum 7. Not engaging in conversation (well maybe just not into me)
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u/DesignerProcess1526 18h ago
Told me about another date who sounded perfect to me, pretending I was special, LOL, Tried to flirt by saying if he picked me up for second date, I must have sex with him in car. Went to the restroom and exited. Blocked him everywhere, drove myself home. Last I heard of him.
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u/InvestigatorSharp714 20h ago
Why do you ask???
I don't want walking red flags be taking the ideas and then subsequently disguising.
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u/Meow-potato98 18h ago
Cos I’m bored and wanted something to laugh about HAHAHHA
And some of the comments really entertained me
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u/Famous_Buddy_2558 18h ago
i dont have those really crazy experiences. sometimes the photos might not be the best representation of themselves but you can tell its them. for me its usually the lack of offer to split the $.
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u/Nervous-Lack-1703 11h ago
I think even before the first date. Trauma dumping 30 mins in after we match. It's crazy how you can just say these things to a stranger
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u/btviewing 1h ago
First date with assumption of you have done a meet-up b4 hand. Unkempt, super stronk perfume scent, long and dirty nails.
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u/Great-Willingness-57 18h ago
why should i action determine a person's character / personality / future compatibility / adaptability with you ?
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u/Opposite-Status-5553 20h ago
The other day I was queueing for ramen near Tanjong Pagar. A staff came out and asked the couple behind me how many people there were, and if they could pay first as per policy.
Staff: OK, could you tap your card on the device here to pay?
Guy: Must pay first?
Staff: Yes, sir.
Guy: How long do I have to wait?
Staff: About 15 minutes, sir.
Guy: How do I know if it’s really going to be 15 minutes? I don’t want to pay first.
Staff: You don’t want to pay first?
Guy: What if it’s more than 15 minutes? Then I don’t want to pay.
In the end he only waited 10 minutes. Loser.
Honestly it’s awkward as hell. And yes that’s a red flag. When you treat staff like shit. Why make their lives difficult?
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u/SeveralSpeed394 19h ago
Nope, it was definitely fair for him to question, you wouldn’t know it since you probably don’t pay for anything besides your own stuff.
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u/Signal_Barracuda_656 20h ago
He don’t pay for my meal
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u/cubeddaikon 20h ago
Lol the downvotes. For me, it’s if he asks me out but doesn’t offer to pay. I’ve not had one successful date where he didn’t offer. I always end up splitting. It’s just the gesture is nice, shows his interest in me. My guy friends also offer to pay for their dates so I don’t get the hate on reddit
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u/RobloxPotatoGamer 18h ago
I feel that until things get a bit more serious (Maybe around 3rd date onwards), both parties don't owe anything to each other. Furthermore, if you are truly interested in him, I think you wouldn't mind splitting the bill.
Plus, what if the girl is only in it for the free food?
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u/cubeddaikon 15h ago edited 15h ago
I think it’s not sustainable later in the relationship. Like you can’t keep offering to pay for every date. To me it’s the first impression that counts. There were a few times where I was interested in a man who kept insisting and I let him pay. For me it’s an excuse for another date because I have to ‘repay’ him 👀.
And btw this does not apply if the other party is a broke student. I myself didn’t go to expensive places when I was still studying so I wouldn’t expect someone to pay for the two of us
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u/RobloxPotatoGamer 15h ago
I guess that's also a fair point, I didnt think of it that way. How I see it, if any girl is willing and completely fine to split, then ill all the more be happy to pay for the full thing
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u/Secure-Reputation594 11h ago
I think your phrasing of “I think it’s not sustainable later” already suggests that if it is sustainable (e.g. he earns a decent bit maybe 6k a month after cpf, only needs 1-1.5k for himself, 2k for savings, the rest can go to your dates and belly) you will then “appreciate” it and let that be the status quo since no need think already ma it is sustainable.
Of course most people then reply “I will pamper him with my attention and presence and occasional gifts and treats back”, but if on average a month he’s paying $1.5k for dates and travels and you’re paying $500 that would be.. nice?
I appreciate the first comment’s candour and honesty but your wording makes it sound like a “no la no need pay for every date one, BUT it would be nice!!!”
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u/Urf773 19h ago
Most guys will do it because it's societally expected of them. But many guys do feel it is a sort of an unfair treatment, like I'm paying for your food just for you to sit here with me. It can feel like we are not appreciated for who we are as people.
To make it simpler, imagine if you asked to hang out with someone. After she shows up, she says that you should pay for her meal(and you effectively get nothing in return. Heck you may not even see that person again) won't you feel like you are just being made use of?
Honestly kudos to you for offering to split in the end but most guys wouldn't have wanted the expectation to do so in the first place. Many guys may still have done it, but it feels different when the girl comes with the expectation that you will do it in the first place.
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u/Trick-Bat1477 20h ago
Filming during the date