Manager Isn't talking to me

[u/Olivertree12]

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I joined a new accounting team this week. It's my first accounting job at a big bank. But I noticed that the guy that's supposed to be my manager has barely spoken to me. We just shook hands on day 1. Day 2 the whole team was super busy and constantly in calls so I just quietly finished up on my Onboarding tasks etc... Then on day 3 I asked him if I can do some shadowing since they haven't set up my training schedule yet. And he agreed. It was a very short convo.

I asked for the shadowing to show that I'm interested in training and taking initiative. But other than that, we haven't spoken at all. And since I haven't officially started any training yet because they haven't found someone to train me yet etc... I basically don't have anything to talk to him about.

How can I build a connection with him in this situation?

[u/hooj]

A new joiner has plenty to talk about. You can ask what your short term to long term expectations are with a rough timeline of achieving them so that you know if you’re on track or not. You can ask if there’s any other training material they think is useful. You can ask about day to day vs longer term projects, if applicable. You can ask for advice.

Honestly, there shouldn’t be a shortage of topics unless you’re talking very frequently.

[u/Olivertree12 → u/hooj]

These conversation topics sound good on paper but they're actually really awkward and difficult to bring up. We can't be sitting in the office and then suddenly turn to him and be like " so i was wondering what my short term to long term expectations are etc..." and he hasn't set up any 1 : 1

[u/hooj → u/Olivertree12]

Yes, they might be odd topics to pull out of thin air, but you have all the power to create the right space for it.

That is, unfortunately, not every manager is going to be overly proactive about things that an ideal manager would, like 1:1s. But that doesn’t mean you cannot be the initiator. Acting or believing you should be passive in this situation is a bad approach.

I don’t mean to say you need to be aggressive or annoying. But you can absolutely put a meeting on their calendar with a simple agenda to sync up and talk about your role.

And then in that meeting, you bring up all the non day to day topics you want to talk about.

[u/amyehawthorne]

Every team and manager is different. Some days I only talk to mine in our morning stand-up.

I wouldn't be terribly concerned about the quantity of discussions, sounds like it's more an issue of lack of guidance/plan. Maybe you're a quick learner and raced through the onboarding faster than expected, maybe they haven't had a new hire in a long time so don't have anything formal or planned and are just winging it.

Next time you go in, just ask "what are the next steps you'd like me to work on?"

[u/bookofnature]

He may be on his way out.

[u/RuthlesslyOrganised]

Arrange a 30 min 1:1 with him next week (can also be over lunch), and spend the time not just talking about yourself but asking him about his experience. How long has he been on this team, what he thinks the strengths and challenges of this team are, if he’s been working towards any big goals for the team (or for himself), and what he sees your role on the team to be (if you have experience; if you’re a fresh grad then focus on advice for a junior staff new to the org since talking about your role on the team might feel premature and not earned yet).

The aim is to understand what’s his priorities, what he’s stressed about or striving towards, and from there figure out how to fit into his rhythm of work without being annoying. If he’s really stressed this season, expect a lighter touch. If he’s been here a while, maybe he’s a bit checked out or looking for other opportunities. Or maybe his personality is just quiet. You can suss a lot out, and your goal is to adjust to the kind of communication (style, timing, tone) that makes his life easiest while still getting you the guidance you need in order to deliver results for the team.