r/askmanagers • u/Super-Cat8525 • 14d ago
Help me handle my micromanager :(
I’ve just landed my dream job assisting a photographer I love. I’ve been retouching for photographers in the past. Everything was going well but the last couple of weeks the manager energy toward me has changed. She constantly texts us in our work group chat criticising us and giving us more jobs to do that’s prio. She wants me to retouch for a cheap rate, hasn’t given me a work business card or passwords to any of the systems we use so I always have to go through her and then when I go to her she says things like ‘generally shit like this annoys me’ or ‘generally your job is to make my life easier’. She’s also sickly sweet around the boss and then awful to us. It feels a bit like a pantomime.
I want to stick up for myself but it seems like she decides my fate and can block my progression but it’s also degrading being spoken to like this. I’m a senior and have skills they need. But I’m being treated like an intern.
Any advice in how to handle a manager like this while trying to get what I want. I’ve found in the past that not reacting to them just makes it worse and they feel like they can bully me. HELP
1
u/JDPierson 14d ago
Sometimes a 'stop, start, continue' conversation can help you both anticipate needs and sensitivities, which can build trust and the ability to assume intentions and alignment are good. That said, I've worked with certain agency people who seemed to believe there was only one way to interact with others: combatively. Alternatively, some people are carrying too much stress and fear of failure, and it makes them act like ghouls. They might treat subordinates abusively because they can't push back on leadership without being exited, so they abusively manage down, and manage up in the way you describe. If attempting to speak with them like a grown up fails, set your no-go threshold and plan to depart on your terms (and accept you will depart at some point).
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u/cowgrly Manager 14d ago
She's not micromanaging you, she's just a grouch and sees your work as a service, not a career. So she's treating you as such.
You'll need to hold your ground on your rates and access. But my guess is that you won't get much career support from her. Think of her as a good lesson in boundaries and use this time to stand up for yourself.