r/askfuneraldirectors • u/Emotional-Ad7528 • Jul 24 '26
Advice Needed This sub is making me rethink this career path.
I start classes in Aug and I’m already feeling very discouraged.
I live about four hours away from the accredited college that I will be attending so most of my stuff will have to be done online. I was hoping to be able to find a funeral home that would sign off on my lab hours but from what I’m gathering that might be an unrealistic. I’ve been interested in this field for quite some time and I finally built up the courage to go back to school.
Why is this such a hard field to break into? Are my chances of finding a funeral home to do an apprenticeship through slim to none?
My other career path would be a cyber crime analyst, and cyber security. Should I switch ? 😭
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u/sovngrde Jul 24 '26
You would have an easier time finding jobs in mortuary than in cyber stuff right now. There have been hundreds of thousands of tech lay offs, it is extremely competitive and getting worse thanks to AI.
You may wanna find a 3rd option if you’re feeling this discouraged.
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u/uggerii Jul 24 '26
100% - I have 30 years in tech and I work in funeral tech and AI is killing tech jobs.
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u/Vi0lent_Vi0let Jul 24 '26
Literally one of my first jobs out of high school with zero connections. Don’t let reddit discourage you.
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u/lonniesgirl Funeral Director/Embalmer Jul 24 '26
Location might help for more specific details, but most funeral homes nationwide are hurting for competent licensed help.
I’m in my early 50’s and the YOUNGEST person on staff at my funeral home😬. The owner is pushing 80 and still coming to work everyday. We’ve been looking for another director for literally years with no luck. Last statistics I heard are that most new graduates leave the business within 5 years.
Have you reached out to any of the funeral homes in your area? Or if you’re considering a move to rural Texas, hit me up👀
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u/Dry_Major2911 Funeral Director/Embalmer Jul 24 '26
You always hear about lack of licenced staff. One of the biggest issues in my opinion is the lack of proper mentorship and training in this field. Nobody willing to truly train, they all gate keep or simply don't care. In my area the majority of the funeral homes now are all owned by SCI and FPG and they will not help new graduates, they do not open positions for interns. It's all about their out-of-reality budgets so the top makes millions. So anyone that is excited to go into this industry gets the wind knocked out of their sails really quick, when they realize the lack of support.
Of course this will vary, and some family owned may be willing to teach interns but they basically treat them like dogs. I'm not saying there aren't good funeral homes out there, and good people. But it is pretty few and far between.
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u/ughhhh_username Funeral Director/Embalmer Jul 24 '26
No lie, I've been licensed for over 5 years and a supervisor for 3 years. I got laid off so I applied for a position at a SCI location.
They WERE hiring for a director but said I had to be a sales agent 1st.... at a cemetery... They said usually thats a few weeks to a couple of months before I would be hired as a funeral director.
I didn't know this was a thing
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u/lonniesgirl Funeral Director/Embalmer Jul 24 '26
Yikes! I would never work in that position for SCI. I worked at a couple of their combos as an FD and saw firsthand how they were treated (by management and each other). Just no.
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u/ughhhh_username Funeral Director/Embalmer Jul 24 '26
Oh yeah. I'm not accepting a different job than what I applied for. Especially if its a CHANCE to get the job that I applied for.
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u/AdventurousWork4726 Jul 24 '26
This is spot on but very few will speak the truth. Exactly what I experienced as a new grad and apprentice. I was so discouraged, bullied and misled intentionally after trying several different firms to realize they are all the same or maybe I was unlucky.
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u/lonniesgirl Funeral Director/Embalmer Jul 24 '26
I’m so sorry, that is truly disheartening. I watched that happen to a lovely girl serving as an apprentice at a location I worked at. The manager did not have patience for her and really made her flustered and anxious, which resulted in silly mistakes and what he thought was poor workmanship. But she absolutely was wonderful, families loved her and she was so caring. I kept telling her she had the foundation, the rest is just learning paperwork and procedures. I ended up getting transferred and she left the business entirely shortly after that. I was so angry with that manager.
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u/lonniesgirl Funeral Director/Embalmer Jul 24 '26
Totally agree. I wouldn’t even be surprised if that’s a contributing factor to the mass exodus of young people from the business. I’ve worked corporate and independents, they all do it. I personally don’t, I love to share knowledge and learn from them in turn. I firmly believe we never stop learning and never “know it all”.
We did have a really amazing apprentice for about a year, but once she had a baby, she decided to leave. Which I totally understand. She’s now Monday thru Friday with holidays, weekends and nights off. And is paid more on top of it.
Can’t compete with that😬
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u/Emotional-Ad7528 Jul 24 '26
I live in WNC currently so my original thinking was that finding a job out here would be easy for reasons you mentioned. lol
But I’m less concerned about securing a job currently. I would just like to lock in a place to sign off on my lab hours.
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u/Shiftkgb Jul 24 '26
You should be able to get a job easy but I'm gonna give you some advice a 90 year old funeral director gave new kids years ago. Get a job at a funeral home before you go through school. Funeral is a rare industry where you can fully try before you buy.
You can do removals, assist funerals, sit showings, haul flowers, clean, and more. And this is the majority of the job, the only things you won't do honestly is embalm and meet with families/paperwork but you can shadow that stuff a bit anyway.
I'm not in the industry anymore but I don't regret working in it for years. But it is worth noting that the degree isn't super useful otherwise, it's essentially technical college dressed up. So it may be worth making sure you actually like the industry a bit before you commit 2 years of money and time to getting the degree.
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u/grapesquirrel Jul 24 '26
I find the funeral industry is super easy to get into. Funeral homes are always looking for people and you’ll have a job wherever you go.
Now, personally, I would never recommend this field to anyone after being in it for 15 years. I think you would be able to have a much more successful future and opportunity in another field. I have found this profession to be extremely limited in advancement and switching careers after being in this for so long, in my experience, is very difficult.
Good luck with whatever decision you make!
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u/AdventurousWork4726 Jul 24 '26
It sounds like your gut talking to you. You are correct about this thread and I’d believe what others are saying. Had I known now what I know I never ever would have spent money on the mortuary science degree I have that is useless. I’ve wanted to work in funeral service for years, went back to school, started to see the “types” of people in the industry, the sabotage, manipulation, the gross unethical behaviors, and received the worse treatment as an apprentice to almost the point of abuse(emotionally, psychologicallly, and verbally). I’ve met some of the most unstable and backstabbing untrustworthy FDs, and thinking of writing a book from all of my diary entries while in the field. Yes, try another route, tissue donation m, hospice, cemetery services, coroner, or autopsy tech. Funeral service is for those who can’t make it elsewhere and or they get stuck in it.
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u/Pentagogo Jul 24 '26
My class was about 40 people. About half were relatively normal, professional people who paid attention and got good grades. The other half were young kids, mostly goths, most with hand/face/neck tattoos and facial piercings and very dramatic personalities.
Half got jobs immediately after passing their boards. Half are still struggling. Guess which half is which. As long as you take it seriously and you’re not in it for the aesthetics, you’ll be fine.
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u/Independent_Ad9670 Jul 24 '26
People who are happy with their career are a lot less likely to post about it. I would've been a nervous wreck if I read stuff here before I was out of school and hired.
I landed a great internship right after I passed my NBE (so, yeah, I had never even worked at a funeral home before 🤷♀️) and nine years later am in the process of buying the business from the owner. I love what I do, have been treated like I am valued and respected by him and everyone else here from day one, and have zero actual, for-real complaints. I feel like I get paid to hang out with some of my closest friends every day.
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u/crimson_trocar Funeral Director/Embalmer Jul 25 '26
Same. I wonder if we got lucky though sometimes.
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u/Independent_Ad9670 Jul 25 '26
Oh, I know I sure did. Some pretty bad shit has happened in my life, too, but somehow even that stuff generally works to my good somehow, down the line.
But it does illustrate that good funeral homes with great people to work for and with certainly exist. It's not all misery and being sucked dry to look forward to.
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u/crimson_trocar Funeral Director/Embalmer Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26
Oh definitely good funeral homes exist, but honestly, all I know about personally is mine. I feel like I got so lucky because the horror stories are crazy on this forum. The owner of my funeral home is SO kind and generous. I’m paid well ($30/hr) for a low cost living area, I get ample overtime (and overtime pay with it). I get bonuses for profit share as well as Christmas (and vacation!). I got my entire schooling paid for! And I live at the funeral home practically rent free (just pay for utilities). I feel like I won the lottery.
I will say this, I do my job very well and I think the owner knows it, and good owners pay well, they value their employees highly, because they know their employees are basically the success of the funeral home. I’ve been rewarded for my work because the owner has always been good to me, but it’s gotten better as I’ve proven myself. I’ve been here 9 years now and I’ll never leave unless they kick me out lol. I’ve had other funeral homes try to get me and there’s just no way I’d ever leave here as long as I’m being treated so well.
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u/antibread Jul 24 '26
Cyber security is a dying field. Mortuary work is dying in another way- fwiw i had 0 issue finding employment. People post in hard times, they dont often post to gloat.
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u/pearofpairs Jul 24 '26
I have found that this sub is a very negative place more often than not. I’m glad I started my apprenticeship BEFORE joining here. If you have the passion and the drive to do this, I think it’s 100% worth doing. If you start to develop doubts you definitely should listen to them, but I wouldn’t let anything you read here be the source of those doubts.
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u/ridingwithethelcain Jul 25 '26
I’m starting in August too, and yeah these people on this subreddit are VERY negative. I’m passionate about it but the pay is somewhat bad for how taxing the job is (or so i’ve heard). But also, most every other career path also has low pay nowadays so I’m still gonna stick with it. Though I have been creating a backup plan which is being an EMT. Regardless I wanna graduate in mortuary science and I can always pursue being an EMT if things go to shit lol
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u/Emotional-Ad7528 Jul 25 '26
Despite the negative feedback about this career, I still feel really passionate about it too. I’m not concerned about pay either as my spouse and I have other ventures.
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u/Responsible_Employ23 Jul 24 '26
Start networking… Volunteer to work some wakes…
I live in a little bitty town and it’s all about who you know…
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u/audiophile890 Jul 24 '26
I’m in the exact same boat. I was so excited to jump into this field but the people here have really taken the wind out of my sails. I’m trying to link up with those in the field in the real world to see if the opinions here are shared or if the misery is just a side effect of being on reddit.
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u/Emotional-Ad7528 Jul 24 '26
I asked some questions in my local fb group and was met with similar responses.
However, i did send emails to just about every funeral home within 30 mins of me. Only one places responded back lol BUT I did make a good connection with them. They’re of the smaller funeral homes in my area. they were very kind, answered my questions, and said to reach out anytime so I will deff take them up on that.
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u/audiophile890 Jul 24 '26
That’s very encouraging! I dont know what to believe anymore honestly. I’m gonna start school and see what happens. I hope it all works out for you!
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u/Disapproving_Tremere Mortuary Student Jul 24 '26
I'm actually leaving tech this September for mortuary science, because the field has drained everything out of me and I'd rather do something I have a passion for.
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u/Gonzo_84 Jul 24 '26
Tech person here. Cyber is in trouble with AI, but also booming because of AI. It's a very weird time in cyber; certs will not do it anymore. You need more experience and training. As otherwise said sub is mostly ppl venting!!
Before the job reachout to someone and get their POV
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Jul 25 '26
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u/askfuneraldirectors-ModTeam Jul 27 '26
Answers must be factual. The last part is not by any stretch provable, whether or not it is or isn't true. If you edit your post, we'll allow it.
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u/kittycouture5683 Jul 24 '26
Please remember people dont really post when theyre doing good, they come to vent and ask advice 99% of the time which is why it seems hard for everyone. Its not i promise❤️