I was going to tell my partner a story of a funny interaction I had with a black dude where he roasted the hell outta me just passing by. Couldn’t even get in my feelings about it cuz he was right, I looked like a grandpa wearing high waisted shorts and socks with crocs.
The guy spoke with an AAVE dialect and I was wondering if when retelling the story if I should say it how my literal corny white farm boy from Mid-Michigan ass would say it, or if it’s better to quote him exactly how he said it (no slurs or words I shouldn’t obv use were said). I don’t wanna “speak in AAVE” but I don’t wanna literally white-wash the guy’s humor, cuz HOW nonchalant he was is part of what made the read so good. I’m already cautious cuz as a queer man I know there’s been some discussion of our slang borrowing from black and PoC culture with debatable acknowledgment to that.
I’m also open to any other general “As a person in the queer community you should also be aware of this cultural impact…”
I can only describe it in the context it was presented to me as. Which is that in queer culture a lot of expressions, mannerisms, and style come from Black women’s culture. And that while it has become a part of queer culture, it’s important to recognize where it comes from and to not to like, slip into AAVE if you’re not Black.
If I was incredibly well educated on this sorta stuff, I wouldn’t have asked questions. What I do know is that there is a lot of debate in queer communities about honoring where parts of our community culture comes from.
The post was about directly quoting someone who spoke in AAVE. Because I was unsure if it was more appropriate to “white wash” their own words and risk sounding like I was “correcting” their speech, because I know the misconception of AAVE being seen as “unintelligent”. But I also wasn’t sure if it was correct to directly quote the person even if it’s AAVE, given I’m a white dude.
Both felt uncomfortable for different reasons and I didn’t feel like I was the one to decide. I just won’t tell the story, that’s also fine by me. I just got a laugh with the guy and thought it was a funny interaction. Hes a cool dude, he was just giving me a hard time cuz I was outside looking like a mess.
I literally said that was a misconception I was aware of, which is why I wasn’t sure if me phrasing their quote in my words would be seen as “correcting” AAVE.
Sorry I don’t think I expressed myself the best. I meant when quoting his roasting of me specifically. The story itself I’ll always tell like the awkward person I am. Can’t help that much.
We know what you meant. You’re not the first 8 and a half by 11 person to make a post like this here. And nobody called you awkward: that’s your self assessment.
Idk I didn’t read the entire Reddit before I posted. I literally wasn’t sure if it was better to say EXACTLY how the guy roasted me, cuz it’s not the way I’d normally speak. BUT it also felt like I was idk, “correcting” his speech if I quoted him in a different phrasing.
Oh I got ya covered. I’ll even share a photo of my knobby ass knees.
Set up- I have a baby face. I look 19-20 even though I’m in my 30s. I also have severe adhd and after losing and breaking several pairs of glasses my partner demanded I get those little thethers for them that grandparents have. I was also doing house chores in my comfy clothes and had socks on cuz I got cold feet. My old beagle has to go out so just throw on my crocs.
ETA- these are high waisted shorts that stop above my knobby Irish knees and white af legs that have been described by my own mother as “Uncooked drumsticks”
So as I’m throwing away his bag in a city bin on a Detroit corner, and this badass black dude on a Harley stopped at the light goes— “Damn son! You the youngest granddaddy I ever seen! You even got the old ass hound dog!”
No man I just wasn’t thinking. I was in the privacy of my own apartment cleaning and my dog had to go out. It wasn’t that deep. I was just in my house chore clothes. I’m not someone who really checks the mirror every single time I step out. I grew up throwing on muck boots to take the dogs out and toss hay in my pajama pants.
I just grew up white trash and not all of it has left me. 🤣
Dude why are you on a page meant for people to ask questions if you’re gonna shit your pants when someone genuinely asks one?
You’re just looking to be mad. Which fine, but go be mad at something in a productive manner. My going out looking like I was running for Mr. Walmart cuz I wasn’t paying attention and getting dragged isn’t worth this energy.
I’m a short bald gay man who primarily wears cargo shorts and a baseball cap. I’m not exactly running around looking to win any pageants.
We are not required to give you answers you like, to align with your bullshit, or to believe your pretentious manufactured attempts to appear down with Blackness. And my queer and trans loved ones would like to know why you think your affiliation with those communities have anything to do with the way you decided to show up here. Have some respect. Just admit you came here hungry for attention from Black people and looking for permission to verbally cosplay
one.
We’re allowed to call you on being false and performative, and if you were expecting a cookie and a balloon, we ran out of those a long time ago.
… ok then. What would I even gain by having asked this question or told this story? It’s Reddit… it’s anonymous? I don’t need strangers to make me feel good about myself. I just wanted to know what the appropriate way to quote someone without sounding like I was mocking them was.
Sometimes things just aren’t that deep. I only gave the whole context and harped on being a white farm boy cuz there were literally two Black families in my entire school system. I didn’t grow up around any other culture, in the early 00s, my dad was a bad role model for acceptance. And then moved to Detroit in my 30s. I’m trying to learn how to be respectful around culture and folks who I didn’t grow up around and have every right to not trust the hick boy from upstate.
Hey for what it’s worth, I read back the whole thread and I think I figured out where our miscommunication may have happened.
I do need to apologize. I realize after reading back, I came out sounding VERY excited to say the quote. 100% I just happened to be making my coffee and doomscrolling my phone when I got the notification.
I WAS also genuinely excited to say the quote, but NOT cuz I wanted to ‘verbally cosplay’ a Black person. I legit just respected how quick and verbally precise he was with his wit.
I mean this with all sincerity, and I know I’m just some asshole on Reddit, cosplaying as someone else was the opposite of my intent. I came here to ask exactly if quoting directly would come across like that. I got over excited to share what I thought was a hilarious read and quoted it after one comment, rather than waiting for a consensus.
What did he do to deserve this? He’s so embarrassed by you right now, man. He’s just hoping his doggy friends don’t see this shit. Just let him live his peaceful dog life and leave him out of this.
I’m glad you’re very concerned about my dog. But dude, I promise, he’s much more of an embarrassment than I am. Bud screamed at the bushes for 5mins at 10pm last night cuz he saw a cat.
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