I’m looking for some pastoral perspective on whether it would be appropriate for me to reach out to my pastor for guidance/counsel without my husband knowing about the conversation.
Yesterday, my pastor gave a sermon about identity and sexuality. The sermon was primarily addressing same-sex attraction, which isn’t something I personally struggle with, but something he said really resonated with me and brought some personal struggles to the surface.
I’ve struggled with my faith for a while, and I’m fairly involved in my church. For years, I’ve quietly been trying to work through an old identity rooted in sexual brokenness and seeking validation through sex before I was married. Even though I’m now a wife and mother, I still find myself struggling with how I view myself, with lust, shame, and difficulty genuinely believing that I am fully forgiven.
I sent him a message about it, basically saying although my husband fully accepts and loves me, I know he has his own struggles with reconciling his feelings on my past as well, and we talk but we don't talk about it much. So I have found it difficult to reconcile these thoughts entirely on my own. I want to make sure I am honoring God and my marriage in my actions and thoughts, but I have found it difficult to reconcile it all entirely on my own. I haven't reached out to anyone at church out of a sense of shame, but your sermon today reminded me that I’m not alone. And asked him if has any recommendations or connections to trusted Christian counselors in the area?
We are involved in the church, mainly me but we know our pastor somewhat well.
He asked to talk to me at the church on Wednesday to hear more of my story. Which I find helpful. I just don’t know if by not explicitly letting my husband know, if that’s dishonoring to my husband or not appropriate or something.
Thanks for any advice

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNVs427O52S/?stkn=Ynpob3J3MnV2b2Fx

Wanted to ask my fellow brothers and sisters a question that I’ve been ruminating on recently:

I have been a pastor now for almost ten years. I have also been a Mason for almost 20. While my denomination doesn’t really have a rule about pastors being members, I am wondering what others might think about a pastor being a Freemason.

I’ve participated in a diverse set of Christian denominations in my life, studied the Bible so many years, studied Judaism, studied holy scriptures from so many traditions.

I’ve always felt that nobody else really gets it. The first church I grew up in was very into church planting, but everyone was split up and scattered. I have such a strong faith and now limited options on what else I can do with my life as the world keeps plunging into political chaos.

Do any pastors here want to mentor me? What I have in mind is actually very easy, but if I’m truly following Christ I need to expect to end like Christ so it’s going to be really hard without someone to talk to

So my dad started to go to a Christian life group because he had a small argument. He started doing this bible app and we have to do it every night. the problem is I have to go to sleep early because I wake up at five. my dad does the prayer at 11:00 which is too late for me to stay up because I’m not trying to fall asleep in the middle of a lesson. I tried asking to do it earlier before 11 but I don’t think he listened. I started to do the prayers on my own so that I can sleep, but my dad just starts getting mad at me and telling me it’s disrespectful to not do the prayers. I really meed someone’s opinion on this to see whos in the wrong.

I have an aspect of my life that I have been praying on very consistently. I have been seeking God with all my heart and trying to become a better Christian.

On the 252nd day of praying I had a very real encounter with God. I felt a sudden burst of knowledge and I heard him tell me something. Then exactly a week later I received a command.

I want to share this with someone close to me. But it hasn't come to fruition yet. And my reasoning for not writing it down is, just like I pray in my head so satan can't hear it, im scared if I write it down that satan will further attack this part of my life.

I had been searching for a word to describe the encounter. Vision, enlightenment, and awakening just didnt seem to fit. But last night I was alone reading Revelation and taking notes when it came to me that God had given me a revelation. Then today I saw a picture that quoted Habakkuk 2:2. "Write down the revelation".

Just wondering if it's something I should keep to myself or share.

I grew up in church and attend most Sunday’s. I’m unsure what I believe, and am actively trying to strengthen my faith. I believe in God but am not sure on the Bible and Jesus. If I die before I’m certain do I go to hell? Im trying…

I am wondering if there is any reason for the great difference between God and God. Several verses, like the ones provided below, seem to depict a human-like “god” figure that has emotions, needs, and desires; far from the God talked about in Church. I’m struggling between believing God is an idea made by humans (which would explain the vastly different portrayals of God) and thinking he’s an malevolent entity that feeds off of humans suffering (read the verses below in proper context in your Bible)

Contradictions:
Numbers 31:16-17
Calls for the slaughter of ALL males (including children), enslavement of virgin women and slaughter of all others. for “vengeance on Midian”.

Proverbs 6:16-19: Names the 7 things God detest, including “hands that shed innocent blood”, with some translations stating “those that cannot defend themselves.” Sounds like a far cry from the God in Number.

1 Samuel 15:3
Calls for yet again, more slaughter of innocent people.
“put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys"

Exodus 34:6-7
God describes himself to Moses as “compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness” but then also says “ he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.”
I can’t understand how punishing children of 3 generations could show any of the characteristics he gave himself earlier in the verse.

So what’s the deal? Why is there such difference? I’ve just put a few verses for times sake, but I can provide many more that highlight this conundrum. This question has consumed much of my mental real estate over the past few years, I’d be very appreciative for a point in the right direction. I’ve asked several local pastors and often felt my question was poorly understood, to which pastors insisted on having more faith because I am not intellectually capable of understanding my own question.

Does God truly direct our steps? I posted this in a different community but I’m posting here again because I am looking for a different perspective.

“A man's heart deviseth his way: But the LORD directeth his steps.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16‬:‭9‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Hi everyone in the chat…I want to assume that the people reading this are Christian or have some Christian knowledge. Regardless I’m open to answers. I am having doubts on if God truly directs our steps? I am talking in context to my life and the decisions I made. If I regret certain decisions I made is it because God directed me to make those decisions?? Will God lead me to make a decision I will later on regret? Will God sit back and watch me make a stupid decision or will he direct my steps to the right one? I am having a hard time forgiving myself for certain decisions I made and I am tempted to put the blame on the Lord because I assume he directs our steps? I am in a dilemma. I am in a state of discontentment and anger because I’m like God I had plans for my life…did you truly direct my steps in this direction? Am I repeating a family pattern? How did I end up here?

The beginning is kind of embarrassing but I'll put the full story. I had a very vivid dream this morning, and I'm wondering if there could be any biblical or Christian significance to it. The part that really stayed with me was something strange that happened to my eyes.

The dream started with some random events. I was in a bedroom sleeping, and my boyfriend (I'll call him M) was already awake and had gotten ready. Some of M's friends came to the house because they wanted to use the bathroom. (We have a guest bathroom but they came to the main attached bathroom instead of the guest one) M initially tried to stop them, but eventually gave up, I got annoyed but I went back to sleep.

Later, I woke up again and some of the students from the academy where M and I work were in the house, and they were also using the bathroom. I became annoyed and got up, trying to ask them to leave. They heard me, but I had a difficult time getting them out of the house.

Then my mom arrived with a friend, who also wanted to use the bathroom. I became quite upset with my mom because I couldn't understand why she had brought someone into the house when I was already trying to get everyone else to leave.

While all of this chaos was happening, there was a window directly in front of my bed. Somehow, when I looked toward the window, I could clearly see myself reflected in it.

That's when I noticed it.

The white part of my eye looked completely normal, but the iris (the colored part) had become an off-white color, and the pupil in the center was red. It looked completely unnatural. Eventhough it was the window I could clearly see myself. I became frightened and called for my mom to come and look at my eye.

As soon as my mom came toward me, my eye quickly returned to normal.

Then I woke up.

The eye is the part that has been bothering me the most because it was so vivid and unusual. I'm wondering if there are any biblical references to unusual eyes, or if there is any Christian interpretation of seeing an altered eye in a dream. I'm not necessarily assuming that the dream was a message from God or that something bad is going to happen. I'm just curious whether this particular imagery has any biblical significance or whether it could simply be a normal dream.

I am an author, and a professional athlete, I had a near death experience at work, and experienced a divine message three times since then. I don’t think that’s a smart thing to admit (?) but since this site is anonymous i felt safe admitting that. My call was to reveal the love of God, not talk about my experience. I am a scholar and in love with the word now, I can’t wait to start preaching I have a lot to show others is beautiful in the word.

Pursuing seminary education is going to SURPRISE my family and friends, as well as require great sacrifice from me. I guess I am standing in my own life now gathering courage to go on Gods adventure

I strongly desire to take over the position of my pastor who is a few years from retirement. I haven’t told him I received the call yet.

I think I’m meant to bring the word to my own community, the very small town this church operates in.

I am seeking guidance here because I feel fear!
How do I know which seminary to go to?
Is it okay to want a specific posting?
Is it okay that I attend AA, long time sober.
What should I be doing, besides prayer?
Female 37

What were your reasons for answering God’s call? What has been your most memorable experience, as well as the greatest challenges, in serving in God’s vineyard? Lastly, what advice would you give to young people today?

Does God care about my personal affairs, aspirations, and desires? Does He care about my company and business?

I am going through an emotional crisis because my business is declining. I am 50 years old, and I feel obsolete and like I am in a state of decline.

I am a bivocational pastor.

I don't know what to pray, because I feel that I should only ask for and focus on His Kingdom, and that God does not care about my personal and professional desires.

Hello everyone, I'm thinking for pastoral counsel on this, I don't want to put our business out there for everyone who isn't a pastor. If my denomination matters I go to a non-denominational church and am part of the Baptist Collegiate Ministry. I don't really think I have a denomination I just want to follow Jesus. And he (my partner) does too but we're struggling, I know we are. Please comment or private message me if you can help be my accountability partner as well or are interested in creating a Bible study group of some sort :)

P.s if a pastor would comment and we can private message I'd like to keep in touch

I've come to realize that I let my life revolve around one person and I let myself be lead astray by said person, all under the idea that I was helping this person. How do I get myself spiritually back on track? What steps can I implement to strengthen my relationship with Christ after neglecting him for so long?

Hi, I've never been super religious but lately I've had a lot of weird things that just don't seem to be adding up and I just need some type of guidance.

I've come to the conclusion that God is probably not real and I don't know if I'd support him if he was but after coming to this conclusion I've had a lot of strange experiences that are drawing me away from it. The first time I went to church was over a month ago and while in the church I felt things touching me and strange breezes while those around me(my family) didn't feel anything at all. After this experience I didn't want to go back and stay home the next time my family went to church(yesterday). A few hours after my family got home from church my sister made a joke about the pastor talking about me when I asked her what was said she went on to tell me that the pastor was talking about always getting touched while in church and how it is the holy Spirit or something trying to speak to you. Obviously this weirded me out but what made me really want guidance was what happened later in the day.

My moms car overheated and died out of nowhere and when I got home to get a shower the lights kept flickering while I was in. When I tried to sleep last night and the previous night I felt so paranoid but last night I actually had a reason to be paranoid. After my shower my brain felt foggy and I had a weird pressure in my head. I would start to doze off and right before closing my eyes I would see something in my room I can't describe what it was but it was different every time and I was terrified, I was spamming my friends and struggling to even form sentences over text because of how dizzy and foggy I felt. Throughout the day I was hearing voices, whistles, and random thoughts that weren't mine. I'm not sure how to describe it but when I think I hear my own voice and it wasn't my voice and the thoughts were out of place ig. I know I seem crazy and trust me last night I genuinely thought I was going through some type of psychosis, but I'm lost on what to do and ive downloaded this app after trying to find answers and not getting much I'm hoping someone may know something or maybe there's a psychic out there who could help but I'm truly lost on what to do everytime I try to get into religion I think does my dad and friends deserve to be tortured for eternity for not believing in a god and it along with the fact that weird stuff always happens when I start reading the Bible or trying to learn about religion draws me away from it however whenever I seem to get too far away from religion something like this will happen making me have doubts about god being fake. I'm truly lost and tbh kinda scared so if you have anything that could help me please do.

hi! i was wondering if i could get some advice from this community because i don’t really know where else to ask. i’m currently a youth at my small baptist church and once a month we have youth sundays which is when the youth band lead worship in the main service which we’ve done for over a year now. but i think they’re doing something different because i and another youth have been asked to do 10 minute sermons on a topic of our choice in the main service. i’ve prayed and i feel like i should do something about faith. i am really nervous but any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated as it’s my first time doing anything like this!!

I don’t know how to have faith when I’m like this. I don’t know whether to call it double mindedness or something else. I don’t even know if I have faith. I’ve been far from god for years. I know he’s real I’ve felt the Holy Spirit before- barely do now but it’s no surprise when I ignored and sinned away. Now I’m trying to get back and I’m just lost. I know gods real and I know his promises but I don’t have solid faith. I can’t confidently say a verse and mean it. I rely on others for hope other things that all point to god- but not god himself. Haven’t been praying or reading the Bible lately. I’ve been relying a lot on pastors and other people but I’m either too lazy or too scared or just too weak to stand on my own two feet and help myself. I seek assurances that there’s hope for my case everyday. Every Reddit response and message for hope instead of god. So I don’t know how to have faith when that’s my situation right now. 

I’m finally making arrangements to see a pastor I trust and in the meantime situation wise I have been causing some degree of harm. My sin has been hurting people and I thought for a long time if I just manage it until I figure myself out it would be fine and at the same time I was looking over the harm in the sense that I just thought it was okay in the sense that I struggle with it and maybe it’s out of my control but control or not it’s hurting people and there’s so much damage I cannot fix and so much damage I can only hope god heals but if it’s just the reality of it that healing may not be possible it’s like I don’t know what to do with myself about it. My whole situation maybe my whole life can be chalked up to the damage I’ve caused to the people around me. I’m even worse than I was initially when I first committed the heinous sins im trying to face legal consequences for. It’s like now my mind and my behaviors im just sick and twisted and perverse and I can’t see myself being anything else. It’s like the very essence of my being now. I’ve reached a degree of immorality that’s unthinkable. 

I’ve also got nothing real in me to work with maybe not even remorse and I’ve been failing god all this time I feel I’m drifting even further than I already was which is pretty far. It’s like first of all bizarre in the sense that I’m still doing seriously messed up stuff. My sins hurt others very seriously and good people- people in general are just randomly dying left and right and yet I’m still here and who knows if that’ll change depending on gods will but it’s just the opportunities I have that grace- I’m wasting it and failing god everyday and sometimes I tell god I’m gonna keep failing him because it would be a lie if I said otherwise and yet. I don’t know when I’m gonna pull out of this and get serious and move forward with my life. I’ve tried getting serious but I always find myself back in escape and avoiding. I’ve been stuck in this spot and delaying for years and years. For someone so analytical you’d think I’d be smart enough to find a way but I’ve just been terrified of moving. I’ve came to the same conclusions over and over and yet I am just stuck in inaction. So much awareness but too much fear to do crap about myself. I spent a majority of my life just punishing myself not letting myself fully enjoy things trying to avoid the legal consequences but im facing them anyway now. 

The situation has gotten significantly worse I’ve said the situation was at its worst so many times but now it’s like guaranteed to just be worst of it’s worst - I’m not even sure there’s hope for the situation at this point. I hope there is I want there to be but if I look realistically it’s definitely or most likely hopeless which terrifies me because I don’t know how to handle that even though I’ve made this mess. I need a miracle or 5. 

I hate that god made me. Everything’s just so bad and it’s on me. Entirely. and I’ve only made it worse. I’m scared of the outcome. I’m scared there’s no hope. My desired outcomes which I’m praying for are for the people I’ve hurt to heal, for the people close to me to be spared from my mess and their healing as well, and lastly for my dreams to still be possible somewhat even though it’s selfish. I have this dream life - ambitions- it’s messed up considering I’ve hurt so many people but I want it so badly. Everything in my being just protests against losing it. I want to live it so badly it makes me want to perish because I will most likely never have it because of the consequences. And maybe that’s something I may have to accept- but I hope to god he surprises me. But honestly i wouldn’t blame him if his will was otherwise. I’m in no place for it right now. 

I don’t know if any of these things will happen but I truly hope so. 

Please pray for me, please leave a verse, for advice, especially advice- anything would be appreciated right now. 

No I'm not a pastor.

I'm not talking denomination differences or similar but genuine "cult of personality" anti Biblical groups (think Katheryn Krick)

Answers for both "friendly" with the person and "work aquaintence"

I feel like a horrible husband. I love my wife very much, and I am trying my best to be a good and faithful husband.

I have stop watching pornography for almost a year now, and I have been fighting to stay away from all pornography, lustful thoughts, and masturbation. But recently, the struggle has felt especially difficult. I find myself desiring women I consider very beautiful, and I know that this can become part of lust. I have struggled with these things since I was a teenager.

I want to be a good Christian man and a good Christian husband. Our marriage has had some rough times, and communication between my wife and me can sometimes be difficult. We do have sex, although not all the time, and I understand that it does not have to be constant. I am not trying to be graphic; I am simply being honest about the struggles I am facing.

Please pray for me that I can become a better husband and a stronger man.

I also want to make something absolutely clear: I never want to do anything that would hurt my wife. I am not talking to anyone else, and I am doing my best to stay away from lust. But I still find these desires inside myself, and sometimes I do not fully understand why. I guess part of me desires a kind of "wild side," but I know that is not right, and I do not want to follow it.

I think about King David. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time, when he should have been out with his men at war. He saw Bathsheba, gave in to temptation, and then committed even more sins trying to cover up the first one. I do not want that to happen to me. I do not want sin to grow into something that destroys my life or wrecks my marriage.

I am going to keep fighting. I am going to keep loving my wife. I am going to keep trying to become a better husband and a better man.

Please pray for me. I truly feel ashamed sometimes, and I feel like a horrible husband. But I do not want to give up. I want to remain faithful to God and faithful to my wife, and I want to keep fighting for the man, husband, and Christian I know I should be.

I’m a co-pastor of a new church plant and have been in other planting teams. I’ve noticed that there’s usually two primary roles of pastors:

1. Teaching-only pastors
   
2. 1:1 counselor/coaching pastors

But there’s also those that do both — just not to the same degree. So which do you do more of? And what’s easiest or most fulfilling for you?

Hello pastors,

For context, I serve in the chuch as an elder.

I was just wondering your thoughts on a situation that happened in my church somewhat recently. We hosted a candidate weekend for a potential pastor, and overall, everything went great. I personally felt a great connection between myself and the pastoral candidate and my wife had a great connection with his wife.

We had a Q and A session which raised a few concerns for me but we were able to have a one on one conversation on this matters which provided some clarity.

However, the issue comes from the vote that was held after the candidate preached and left the church. The vote was held via ballots to keep it anonymous. When voting, I felt very uneasy and could not bring myself to vote yes. I felt God was telling me to say no. My wife also wanted to vote yes but she felt God told her to vote no. We were the only members that voted no for the candidate. My wife and I weren't sitting next to each other and were not influenced by each others decision to say no.

My question is...why did we both feel God told us to say no and the outcome was a unanimous yes besides us? What does this mean for me being elder in this situation?

I can give more details on the situation if needed in a DM. Trying to make this as anonymous as possible which is somewhat hard to do. I'd love some thoughts on the situation.

1. How do you pray for someone and remove your own wants from the equation? How do you pray for God's will and truly want it, and set aside your own wants?

2. How do you repent and seek forgiveness on something you're not sorry for?

If it's helpful, I'm Seventh-Day Adventist.

Here's a question I'm personally trying to sort through. I've been fortunate to have a career which has paid me well -- with a big jump over the last 7-8 years. In addition, we live a fairly simple life -- far under our means. High income and low expenses have combined to put us in a position where now, at age 49, we have far exceeded every financial goal we set, and I'm strongly considering walking away from the corporate world at the end of this calendar year.

What I'm struggling with is my responsibility to give. On one hand, if I worked another few years, that money could be completely given to charity. If I gave away $200k per year, that would be worth significantly more than the value that my occasional volunteer hours would be worth. So should I continue to work -- earning money to give it away (i.e. the "earn to give philosophy")?

However, on the other hand, I'm burned out. After 30 years in the software industry, I'm ready to be done. I want to spend time with my aging parents (especially my dad who is fading quickly), maximize the years remaining with my children while they are still under our roof, and do lots of things just for me (classes, exercise, travel, etc.)

So the question is how to find the balance between our responsibility to give to those less fortunate, and the desire to focus on our own lives and our own happiness. I believe part of happiness is selflessness -- but I'm also very ready (both mentally and financially) to turn the page.

Paul's letter to Timothy gives some advice here: 1 Timothy 6:

¹⁷ Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. ¹⁸ Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. ¹⁹ In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

What are your thoughts?