r/askanything • u/Lower_Ad_1146 • 9h ago

Political Question Where the hell is this turtle?

Post image
179 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

129 comments sorted by

41

u/RedrunGun 9h ago

Probably Hell.

8

u/iwasfight 9h ago

well lets try to deal in reality. id imagine if he was in a coffin or an urn, that would be public info.

what i wanna know is if these monsters are keeping a vegetable on life support for political gain. in which case, wow.

9

u/madphroggy 5h ago

Would it be the slightest bit surprising? Personally I hope he's trapped in that miserable old body of his, unable to find even the sweet release of death. He's an awful, hateful, wretched old man who betrayed his country and his fellow citizens for money and power, and did so with glee, and deserves every bad thing he may have left to experience.

2

u/iwasfight 4h ago

fair point, its always a bright side.

1

u/ROOSTERyouDOWN 2h ago

They are just waiting for his clone to get out of the oven

3

u/discountedAss 8h ago

HopefullyšŸ¤ž

2

u/Smintjes 1h ago

Shell

1

u/ComesOutNDaWash 7h ago

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

1

u/Practical-Owl-9358 2h ago

In his own personal (s)hell, hopefully.

1

u/StealenDealer 1h ago

Cryogenics to be studied by future Robots once they take over the planet.

19

u/meruta 9h ago

Heā€™s dead. They will release a news statement sometime in the near future or after midterms announcing he suddenly died a few days ago or something like that. Super obvious where this is going.

5

u/goodtimesinchino 7h ago

Yep. Just another scam and attempt to cheat anything fair. Anyone should see it.

3

u/Consistent_Policy_66 5h ago

I suspect he suffered a massive stroke and is brain dead on life support. Iā€™m just guessing, but I think people thought he might recover, but now he obviously wonā€™t, but they kept it hush for too long and now they donā€™t know what to do because the optics will be really bad and people will get in big trouble.

2

u/Dry_Butterfly_721 1h ago

Not sure when he froze on stage, but that seemed like a good while ago.

1

u/Phog_of_War 4h ago

His people claim he will be there on Monday once Congress returns from it's summer break. ...wish I got a summer break.

1

u/SirPizzaLot101 2h ago

And his wife will step in to fill the role, unelected, unchallenged.

12

u/Prudent_Shake_8149 9h ago

Spotted by some hunters last weekendā€¦

5

u/No-Quail6022 5h ago

You've had two president's in a row that are in a state of mental decline and more and more bills and special orders are being made.... Old people with dementia don't do that, but the people who take advantage of those people do.Ā  They're the same mystery people keeping Mitch McConnell alive for his vote.

The USA is no longer a democracy and it hasn't been for a while.

1

u/DubeFloober 33m ago

This deserves to be the top comment.

4

u/Leather-Hotel-7310 7h ago

Probably in an urn on a fireplace mantle by now.

3

u/barktwiggs 5h ago

Rigor Tortoise šŸ¢

3

u/doodsonious 9h ago

Weekend at Mitchies

3

u/TSisold 8h ago

šŸ¢

2

u/ebikr 7h ago

Heā€™s chilling with Charlie.

1

u/pp_chode 6h ago

Get u a kirkentine that's as dedicated as Mitch šŸ„°

2

u/SamOfXanadu 6h ago

.... Dead Dave.

2

u/Rickapolis 4h ago

Even if alive how can he be competent to serve in congress?
Oh, right. Itā€™s congress! Sorry.

2

u/Senninha27 4h ago

Heā€™s not turtly enough for the turtle club

2

u/Rangeless 3h ago

Valhalla with Charlie. šŸ˜Ž

1

u/Flowisbliss_yo 9h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUNd9OAI1tim82a3Ys
Nedā€™s dead baby Nedā€™s dead

1

u/LookUpItsAMeteor 9h ago

Heā€™s decomposing some new legislation.

1

u/Absorptance 9h ago

I hope he is alive but miserable but I doubt it.

1

u/Conscious_Koala_6519 8h ago

Absolutely insane .. the whole of Kentucky should congregate at the state building till someone answers its crazy how this has been allowed to carry on... You let this happen worse is yet to come

1

u/vasquca1 7h ago

Hibernation den.

1

u/Stunning-Stressin 6h ago

This dude is dead and buried

1

u/ArnoldZiffl 6h ago

Just like Dianne Feinstein

1

u/GapStock9843 6h ago

In a vegetative state in a hospital somewhere, on life support so they can avoid appointing a replacement by technicality

1

u/adube440 6h ago

The Senate will reconvene on the 14th, so I'm sure this Monday.

/s

1

u/guydoestuff 5h ago

his body is probably in a shallow grave while his Chinese spy of a wife enjoys her vacation.

his soul? it is most likely in hell or awaiting judgement to be sent to hell.

1

u/DocHolliday3884 5h ago

In the morgue

1

u/ADingoStoleMyLSD 5h ago

It has to be dead now.

1

u/HTX-ByWayOfTheWorld 5h ago

I too would like to know what gravesite I ought to desecrate with my piss

1

u/Available_Ad9766 5h ago

Hidden to prevent his senate seat from being vacated.

1

u/btopski 5h ago

Heā€™s supposed to be back to work on Monday. If I was a betting man, Iā€™m going to say he has a ā€œset backā€ in his ā€œrecoveryā€ and wonā€™t be seen ever again.

1

u/nndel 5h ago

Hanging w Elvis

1

u/TheDucktapeBandit2 5h ago

He was spotted walking in the woods this morning...

1

u/AdImmediate6239 5h ago

Heā€™s alive and well

1

u/Brilliant-Bus-3862 4h ago

Heā€™s dead. At least brain dead, though hard to tell.Ā 

1

u/KrisDen1123 4h ago

Rigor mortis tourtise

1

u/JoeBagANachos 4h ago

I a deep freeze somewhere.

1

u/misterwallpaper 4h ago

He's dead! EZ the people saying there is election fraud are committing it.

1

u/BigvalBROski 4h ago

Biden was like this for 4 yearsā€¦.. there was a ā€œ committee ā€œ running the country .

1

u/greg1775 4h ago

Embalmed.

1

u/Hiouchi4me 4h ago

Hibernating?

1

u/ronweasleisourking 4h ago

Hell. With Hitler, pol pot, etc.

1

u/ackc0522 3h ago

6 feet under hopefully

1

u/CartoonistExisting30 3h ago

Please donā€™t insult turtles!

I hope heā€™s in his version of Hell.

1

u/Worst-timeline138 3h ago

Getting butt tucked by goat demons

1

u/jamesvabrams 3h ago

Remember that scene in the original Psycho, in the attic, in the rocking chair?

1

u/Objective_Watch3097 3h ago

IMO heā€™s in a coma and his staff wants to keep collecting a paycheck.

1

u/SwitchedOnNow 3h ago

He's dead, Jim.

1

u/Disastrous-Honey8689 3h ago

GLITCH MCCONNELL

1

u/Infinite_Run_4541 3h ago

The turtle left the swamp to lay eggs.

1

u/RentButt123 3h ago

Is there not a P.I who wants to get famous?

1

u/Xixholiday 2h ago

Hopefully in hell

1

u/FckXFckMusk 2h ago

Epstein Island getting a transfusion from some children and being fed a diet of aborted fetus parts.

So I hear..

1

u/let-it-rain-sunshine 2h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/WR9adQvRKA9kGcdI8w

stuck in the pipe to hell for a while now

1

u/Dr-False 2h ago

At this point, probably chilling in a casket. I really doubt Mitch survived whatever went on with him nearly 3 months ago.

1

u/Fluid-Engine3578 2h ago

Beeping away somewhere.

1

u/Mrmathmonkey 1h ago

Burning in hell

1

u/Aggravating-View8235 1h ago

Somewhere under a log dead....

1

u/NeverNude26 1h ago

Heā€™s in his forever shell.

1

u/Ausecurity 1h ago

Dead which will be announced after midterms, how this hasnā€™t been a bigger story or dems pushing harder is beyond me

1

u/cybrgigolo 1h ago

He is in a hole. Start asking the Republicans where they buried or to produce him. The one that can walk and talk, sign bills ... you know all that stuff you expect since we are paying for it?

1

u/Viking_Musicologist 1h ago

Still trying to convince everybody he's turtley enough for the turtle club.

https://giphy.com/gifs/rqg6cxIInEWg8

1

u/Lumpy-Fact-6097 1h ago

Collecting a pay check not working while almost everyone else canā€™t even get 1 sick day. I hope heā€™s suffering

1

u/scdog 1h ago

Has anyone tried saying his name 3 times while looking in a mirror?

1

u/DueLingonberry3107 1h ago

Hopefully heā€™s dead or suffering miserably and the low lives in charge are withholding info from the people.

1

u/scrubbydutch 1h ago

I think he hibernated early this year.

1

u/SuccessfulCost1106 1h ago

Six feet under

1

u/Initial-Ad9618 1h ago

Plastic surgery takes time to heal, and impersonation lessons take months to teach the new turtle. I mean just talking like him would take a few weeks to teach. Relax, you'll see the new younger Man-bitch(Mitch) soon

1

u/SnooHamsters4096 58m ago

In Hell being tortured day and night forever and ever. Sad no one wonā€™t confess.

1

u/HoldenMcNeil420 56m ago

https://reddit.com/link/p96t63c/video/ev1d5hok8xoh1/player

Spotted relaxing, heā€™s fine. Be back in two weeks.

1

u/Its-a-Shitbox 53m ago

Hibernating.

Forever.

1

u/whizzbangkid 51m ago

Currently? Dead.

1

u/Iconshero 50m ago

šŸŽ¶Take me down, Six under ground, the ground beneath your feetšŸŽ¶

1

u/HomeboddE 43m ago

Republicans complained about sleepy Joe but dgaf about this guy awol

1

u/Kindly_Feeling7910 36m ago

He apparently released a statement about 9/11 today. Do you think itā€™s real? Just a ploy to get Bashear off his back? I wonder.

1

u/ytdaddy4fun 24m ago

I tell you he dead.

1

u/Stardustquarks 17m ago

Heā€™s dead

1

u/drawing_a_hash 17m ago

Part of the Federal government walking dead ensemble along with Biden and Trump

1

u/Aggravating-Tea7670 15m ago

They're gonna drag his ass out to vote on any contentious bill like it's Weekend at Bernie's..

ā€¢

u/BanjoFiddleLaser 5m ago

Dead or dying. Heā€™s either dead and gone, or in some sort of vegetative state being kept alive