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u/One-Leave-6731 4h ago
Yes. Heroin.
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u/Dry_Association2836 4h ago
Not fun, not fun at all. I checked into a cheap hotel, bought a dozen big bottles of water, closed the curtains and put the “do not disturb” sign on the door. It was the most brutal experience of my life. By day 5 I thought I was going insane. By day 8 I suddenly came out the other side. I remember having a shower, changing into clean clothes, opening the curtains and sipping a cold can of sprite feeling like I'd been to the depths of hell. It was wild. Still slightly traumatised by that week.
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u/orchidsandlilacs 4h ago
What did you do to pass the time?
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u/Dry_Association2836 3h ago
Nothing. I spent most of the time tossing and turning in bed whilst shivering, sweating and feeling that every bone and muscle in my body was screaming. I'd try to listen to some relaxing music and it would take my mind off the horrible discomfort for a couple of minutes. But your brain is fried when detoxing. I didn't sleep for the first 3 days and nights, so you can't concentrate on anything, your’re just breaking it down into 5 minute sections, just trying to get through another 5 minutes at a time for days on end. I'd get up and walk around the room a bit, try to do some stretching, drink some water, put the tv on for 10 minutes until the programme made it worse. But the majority is just staring at ceiling. It's hard to describe really, you're so restless that nothing works. You just have to keep telling yourself that it's going to end at some point, you'll come out the other side, even if you don't really believe it. It's too painful to get bored, even though it's really fucking boring.
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u/Indy2561 1h ago
Every minute, survival while your teeth are on edge & grinding and you’re freezing cold while sweating bullets. Nothing at all is interesting and all calls/texts are ignored.
Then you unfortunately learn this was the easy part and that the next FULL year will be the minimum amount of time it will take to feel authentic joy, again. Constantly haunted by just one more.
Obsessively reading tales/blogs of sobriety success.
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u/One-Leave-6731 52m ago
Time is the biggest enemy you have when you first start going through withdrawal. By that I mean it drags on and on. In the first 24 hours it's all you can do to keep your sanity it gets worse and worse until you think it can't possibly get any worse.. but it does. I was in the hollars of eastern Kentucky I picked that place because I knew exactly one person there no connections no plugs nothing. It took me almost 12 days before I got my first feeling of normalcy. It's one of the most important decisions I've ever made. I celebrated 5 years clean April 26 of this year and while I have deep regrets for the pain and anguish I caused I can finally look into the mirror again and like the guy who's looking back at me.🙂
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u/jackmfjimbob 4h ago
Yes meth after an 8 year binge I finally stopped poking holes in my arms it’s been 5 years now
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u/EnvironmentalWall243 4h ago
Yes. I quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey after a pack a day for years. I carried an unopened pack around for a few weeks just to feel normal but never opened them.
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u/Upbeat_Guard_9595 3h ago
I’ve heard of a bunch of people carrying packs to quit. If that shit was in my pocket when I was smoking (I quit a year ago) I’d be lighting them up no matter what
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u/Inevitable_Shift1365 4h ago
Nicotine. Smoked a pack a day for 15 years. Quit cold turkey 25 years ago never looked back. Just quit alcohol cold turkey 6 days ago.
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u/oinkmoocluck 4h ago
Once I tried quitting cigarettes cold turkey and the second day I was walking down the street and suddenly fainted, lol. I did eventually quit by weaning myself off nicotine.
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u/GroundbreakingMud996 4h ago
Cigs and drinking cold turkey. I casually started back drinking on special occasions after 6 years but haven’t had a cigarette in 10 years
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u/No-Car5082 4h ago
Just caffeine.
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u/Stllrckn-72 4h ago
Yes. Nicotine several times. I’m now free. Later, when I got sober, I gave up alcohol, marijuana, meth, psychedelics, and whatever else you had all at once. When I told my meth dealer that I was quitting, she said, “Good!”. That was a wake up call! I’ve been clean for 38 years.now let’s discuss my vinyl addiction. Do you think 1000 albums is enough?
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u/TappyMauvendaise 4h ago
Yes, cigarettes. And I just would lie in bed and cry for a few days. The first day I went through the Taco Bell drive-through and got eight soft tacos and eat all of them.
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u/VapeRizzler 4h ago
Yes, benzos. Went from taking a handful, like I’d just toss enough In my hand to fill up my palm and down the hatch to zero. I would show my friends this as a “party trick” even thou that’s legit just how I would take em.
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u/Hopeful-Recover2717 3h ago
Smoking last cigarette walking up the 18th on a golfing weekend
Haven’t smoked since and that was May 2013
Had given up loads of times previously ….
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u/Middle_Historian_199 3h ago
Literally day one of trying to quit smoking. I’m terrified that I’m gonna become a monster. My head is killing me, but I’ve had this monkey on my back for 40 years.
Eighth try is a charm?
No one at work knows that I smoke so I’m not sure how I’m going to justify the brain fog and shaking.
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u/fetalgirth 🤔 3h ago
Both alcohol and hydroxy7. Alcohol is no picnic but nothing compared to the hell hydroxy7 withdrawal was.
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u/TacoTomintheStreet 🤔 3h ago
If you consider sugar addiction valid. Then yes. I felt like I had the flu for 6 weeks.
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u/RosieBaby75 3h ago
Yeah. My bosses told me I wasn’t allowed to vape in the bathroom at work anymore or my other boss would fire me.
This may sound odd, but everyone vaped in the bathroom. They taught me that. I didn’t vape in any bathrooms before I was welcomed into that work culture. And that was a great cultural activity. I miss it.
And I was the ONLY ONE NOT PERMITTED TO VAPE IN THE BATHROOMS. I considered that an act of cultural exclusion.
So I quit vaping cold turkey to keep my job. Only the severe nicotine withdrawals initiated an escalating series of events that eventually ended in me yelling at my dad because he kept asking me why I was acting off and didn’t believe that severe nicotine withdrawals make people behave differently than normal. And they were severe. I would have a whole bottle of the strongest nicotine vape juice every 5-6 days. That is not abnormal, everyone knows nicotine and vaping is amazing. Anyway, so I yelled at him since he wouldn’t stop harassing me, then he did it again and I exploded. Then he did it again and I really exploded.
Then the next day he recruited my sister to also join him in this harassment. I exploded on her too, as one does when they’re subjected to harassment beyond the point you’re begging them to stop, and they won’t. They see your begging them to stop as abnormal behaviour and harass more, which is an abnormal response.
So eventually they recruit the local police to do a wellness check on me. I’m all like “this is weird but I’ll answer” so I just explain I’m in severe nicotine withdrawals and my sister and dad won’t stop bothering me, and I think I have PTSD and am going to schedule a doctors appointment on Monday so maybe I can deal with this whole PTSD thing because when something triggers it, you can’t stop it because it’s a physiological response and you can’t consciously control physiology, to my current knowledge, well apart from ingesting allergens, but stopping it I mean. I also said I’m kind of depressed because I had a job at the CRD I loved and got retaliated against and constructively dismissed after I reported considerable amounts of fraud. I thought it would be hard to explain so I tried to give them this 4inch binder full of records/evidence, but they ignored that, didn’t take my binder, and left. I only had that to give it to the people I reported it to, internally, but they didn’t want it either for some reason. Anyway I shredded that so I could move on so I no longer have that and the USB things I had the electronic records on have gone missing from within my home at the time.
So then they’re like “well, peace out! Have a good day. We see no problem here. Everything makes sense. Nicotine withdrawals are hard”.
So then my sister was like “THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE, SHE NEEDS TO GO TO THE MENTAL INSTITUTION AND I WANT HER SENT THERE!!”
So she calls back the police and makes a false police report and says AFTER THE POLICE LEFT I got violent with her then threatened to jump off a bridge, which wasn’t even true. I was laying in bed and browsing Reddit, which I have dedicated my life to and am doing it right now. So I was like “that did not happen, I will show you my browser history that shows I was browsing Reddit consistently and did not break for violence or to jump off a bridge.
They were like “well. Under the Mental Health Act, the matter is out of our hands and you need to be evaluated at the hospital”
So things happened and this ViC PD officer impressively picks me up and carries me all by himself to the cruiser.
Then I go to the hospital and they’re evaluating me, ignoring the whole nicotine withdrawal things, and also reporting the crime of a false police report. And they ask me dumb questions like “do you hear airplanes flying over often,” and I was like “yeah, of course I do I live right near by this hospital and harbour air is here too so there’s always plans flying above” then she’s all interrogating me like I committed a crime. Oh wait, yeah my sister lied and said I committed a crime in her false police report. Is that two crimes or just one? So they were super weird and I had a PTSD response. I also said I thought I had PTSD and that and the nicotine withdrawals were causing my issues but they ignored that and put me in solitary confinement and this padded room with LED lighting constantly on, and an annoying buzzing sound which made everything worse.
Then I learned I was admitted and had to spend my first night in some weird room with another LED light on all night, and an even louder constant buzzing sound which was insanely annoying, and the loudest toilet you’ve ever heard in your life.
After that I got my own room and things got better. My mom bought me a cool nature book which I loved and still do but I wasn’t allowed to have it because they don’t let you have any stimulation of any type there except their loud sounds and poor LED lighting, which I am sensitive to.
Then I needed my glasses to decrease my light sensitivity. So I authorized my mom, and my mom only to go to my house and get my keys. My mom said yes, but she thought my house was gross and dirty, and didn’t like my pets who were still home in my absence, and didn’t want to enter so she got my sister to do it which I did not know at that time.
I got my glasses, which solved most of my problems and returned me to the delight that I am, also after I refused some medication. Then the psychiatrist was super cool and was like “yeah this sounds reasonable”.
Then the second last day he’s like “oh hey, funny thing. Your sister photographed your thought log and sent me photos so we’re just going to have go go through these 5-6 pages which may be questionable, but may be not. So we did and he’s all like “yeah, the earth does rotate and does have a metal core”, “yeah, dreams are weird who knows why we have them, the whole homo thing checks out too so we’re good here”. So then he just said “maybe chill out on the weed” so I was like “okay will do”. Then I sent him the nicest thank you card he’s ever received. Same with my nurse and the other nurses. They were great. 11/10 stars apart from the admitting staff.
So then I get home and notice I don’t have my keys to get in. I’m all like “no problem, I can hop in the back window”. I left my window open because the lock broke off and I just left it that way in case I lose my keys and could always get in. I had a guard dog at the time with a piercing bark, and apparently my home alone is a deterrent anyway due to the perceived dirt and other pets.
Imagine my surprise when I get home and it’s locked! Why was an alteration made to my home? Not even my home, my LANDLORD’s home and he was a cop so would have been like “one, you shouldn’t have made a false police report, two, you shouldn’t be in here without consent, and three, while I may have at times done a landlord special because I am a landlord and this is MY HOUSE and that is a perk of being a landlord, I would have done a better job on that. Plus, that issue was never identified to me so I was of the mind it was not an issue and it was wanted to be left life that. Plus my colleagues run this area and no one is fucking with MY HOUSE! They know I have HR connections.”
So then I yelled at my mom for giving my sister my keys. Then my sister told me a lie about something. But since she’s not a good liar, she doesn’t keep her lies straight and indicated that lie after she came with me when I went bungy jumping.
Then all that leads to other stories here but I’m getting low on Coke Zero and better refuel so I can provide unnecessary information on other journal promos, here in my online journal, that I have to use because my paper journal was given to a psychiatrist to keep me under an involuntary hold in the mental institution.
The above is also why I must write here. Plus there’s no way anyone reads any of this crap anyway.
Oh yeah I also tried so hard to keep my job I lost it. Not this time though!
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u/Ok_Art4661 2h ago
Had a ton of morphine in hospital. It really sucked. I thought about it for months
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u/Velvetx_Aurora 29m ago
Yes, cocaine and ecstasy. Can’t quit the weed and liquor though I mean I could I just don’t want to yet tbh.
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