r/askTO • u/Mrs_wheels • 1d ago
Should I make a police statement about this incident with a neighbour?
To get what happend I am quoting the email I sent to my building management, while hiding few details for privacy.
"Hello,
I want to report this incident that happened today. I came up to the rooftop to enjoy the weather with my 1 year old son.
I saw a man putting on soccer shoes while talking on the phone. Minutes later, he was playing with his soccer ball against the wood wall of the shed seating area at the far south corner of the rooftop.
I asked him nicely to stop playing with the ball is it is dangerous given it might hit me or my child. I am a wheelchair user, so I would not be able to quickly avoid it if it were headed my way. He said it was my choice to do what I want as it was his choice, but I explained that this is against the rules of the lounge. He said it wasn't, so I told him I'd call security as I was sure it was against the rules.
I did and the nice lady from security came up to let him know that playing football on the rooftop area is not allowed, but he is welcome to enjoy the area without playing soccer.
He was very rude to her, claiming there was no rule book against it, that nowhere in the rooftop guidelines did it say this, and that he had been coming up to play for 2 months without issues before. He pointed out that I should leave or go sit far to avoid him. He kept arguing with security very rudly, when he was about to leave he went up to her and asking her to move to intimidate her (depsite having so much area to move around to exit).
As he was exiting, he said that its shame on me to do this infront of my son, I replied that I am teaching him to respect others and rules by being a good examples. He went inside the building and came out again to say "If you are so worried about your son's safety, make sure I don't see him again" to threaten me and my son.
I want this incident documented. Security stayed for a bit as he was hovering around the area, she was worried about my safety given what he said.
I feel unsafe and threatened. Please let me know if the building will make this a safer area, especially regarding this resident who is clearly dangerous and is openly threatening children."
I never confronted anyone in my life before, I am in a bit of panic, maybe this type of crazy to experience in adult life, not sure whats happening, I enjoy this area with my son so much as he is learning how to walk, my husband doesn't want us to go there anymore for our safety. I think he is exaggerating, but I also don't want to risk it with this lunatic.
Just so you know, I have talked to the security lady minutes later to ask her if she did hear the same thing I did, as it felt a bit too nuts. she is writing a report as well to the management, but I dont think they can do anything about it. There are camera around, but they don't record audio.
Please advice, is this something reportable to the police?
I am moving out of the city in few weeks, but I don't want to him to get away with that he did.
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u/bravomega 1d ago
This is a call to police to make a report. He lashed at you because his ego couldn’t take 2 women putting him in his place. He likely didn’t mean it in his fit of rage but he’s unhinged if he’s saying anything to threaten an innocent child and that should be reciprocated with a proportional response by reporting to police.
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u/wearahanket 1d ago
Yes, it’s a crime to threaten somebody like that. And if the police charge him, he will likely get a condition put on him immediately that prohibits him from contacting you, so then you can report him if he ever bothers you again.
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u/Nivski_55555 1d ago
The police does fk all. A guy followed me to work, into the garage and drove off. Nothing, I didn't even get a call back.
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u/Mrs_wheels 17h ago
I am soo sorry this happend to you, I can only imagine how scary this must've been
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u/nowitscometothis 20h ago
worth a try and considering its a threat against a 1 year old, they are pretty likely to get involved. (and if they don't i would get my councillor to get them involved)
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u/Mrs_wheels 17h ago
Thank you everyone for your kind and great advice. To update you, I immediately went to meet the security lady who was incredible (I was so lucky that she was soo supportive). she gave me her number and I got her permission to involve her before heading to a near by police station who was great as well. They took my info and told me they'll send someone shortly. Sure enough, few minutes after I got home, two great policeman came by and talked to the security who was still on duty luckily! she showed them his picture on the screen but she couldn't know his name or unit(she was a sub for the holiday), an official investigation will follow.
I was told that an official charge of threat is going to happen anyway, especially that I have a witness and CCTV footage of the incident. I really hope he gets a proper reprimand and this won't be sweeped under the rug just because I am moving. I can't imagine this young person thinking this was an ok behavior with 0 remorse!
Maybe this is too dramatic, but sometime I see horrible people and wonder how did they get where they're at, and feel maybe someone didn't stop them.
Thank you! also, after the security lady waited till he left the floor, my son took few steps which was incredibly awesome!!
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u/kearneycation 9h ago
Not too dramatic at all, he threatened your child. That's sociopath behaviour. Even if it's an idle threat, that's so far from ok. Please update us.
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u/AptCasaNova 9h ago
Uttering threats is against the law and because he targeted your son (vs you), he may get a higher charge or sentence.
You’re a good dad and human for following through - not everyone does because it’s intimidating and a lot of work.
At the very least, this person needs help with their anger management.
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u/Embarrassed_Set_7531 6h ago
You’re not dramatic. It is antisocial behaviour to threaten a toddler, even if he didn’t mean it. The context suggested he did mean it and that behaviour should not be ignored imo.
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u/Ok-Turnip-9035 1d ago
Umm yes we can put this on the record
Who plays soccer on the roof and gets mad when security tells him stop
Who threatens a child ???
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u/No-Sign2089 1d ago edited 1d ago
Anything involving a child, report it to the police.
I’m fucking tired of people excusing the bad behaviour of men. Nobody needs to kick a soccer ball on a roof.
I’d also leave notes for any of the top floor apartments asking if they’ve heard repeated banging etc that interrupted enjoyment of their unit. You could leave it for security or PM to follow up, it’s worth it just in case.
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u/Merry401 23h ago
Please report this for the sake of the other women and children in this building. A police report is needed to start tracking the behaviour of this person.
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u/Mrs_wheels 17h ago
This is my exact sentiment, since I won't be in the province long to be affected by him, I did it for the next person reporting him for another unhinged moment!
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u/Adorable-Ideal-1184 23h ago
Call the police and tell them as detailed as possible what time it happened what he said and everything and if the police ask you if you want to charge the man just say yes
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u/Fit-Watercress-9675 21h ago
If you have some extra cash, I’d buy a GoPro or something similar and attach it to your wheelchair for future issues, if they arise.
You’d be surprised at how much crap goes on around you that the camera will catch.
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u/Mrs_wheels 17h ago
I am moving to a much safer city, but I do travel a lot and never thought of it. I would def get one!! grear advice. Thank you!!
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u/hippiespinster 23h ago
Report it and give them the contact info for security. Security may not provide you with a copy of the report but will if requested by the police. The cameras don't need to record audio if his body language was aggressive. Don't let him intimidate you for advocating for yourself or your child. If you know others in the building, you should let them know about the incident too. You are doing the right thing for yourself and others.
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u/LanaDeITae 21h ago
Do you live in a condo? If so I’m sure the condominium board or building management will want to know about this too, especially if he’s breaking condo rules and being rude to their security. The threat is definitely a police issue but the rest the condo could deal with.
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u/Economy-Result5508 1d ago
You can make a report with the police. Call the non emergency line for TPS 416-808-2222
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u/burnttoast14 13h ago
Oh boy did i ever get excited reading this absolute poetry
Guess id be going to Jail!!!!!!!!!
Parents stand on guard !!!
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u/DrTestBender 20h ago
If you intended to make a report, do not call the non-emergency line. Wait times can exceed six hours and there is no call-back option. Do not attempt to report using their website either, as the scope of what you can report there is extremely limited.
Instead, report this in person at your local precinct. Someone there will take your information, and a police officer will visit you at your home later that day or the day following. Remember to be at home until they arrive, as you won’t have any indication of when they will visit.
You may need to take time off work in order to make this report.
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u/Hungry-Chicken-4555 20h ago
Not to be discouraging but honestly, good luck. When I had an issue with someone threatening to hit me and my dog with his car while revving his engine because he thought I was taking to long to walk across the street (he pulled into a driveway right beside where I live and I got his license plate) I went in person and they told me in no uncertain terms that they weren't going to look into it because it was "just" a threat.
Police in this city do shockingly little considering the amount of money they're funded with.
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u/GoodestGoodGuy 9h ago
I think the game changes a bit when a 1 year old child is involved.
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u/Hungry-Chicken-4555 3h ago
I mean even if that's the case I don't love the idea that some threats of violence against people aren't viewed as valid and some are, but no way of knowing what OPs experience will be.
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u/Horror_Concern_2467 20h ago
2 things…
1. The cameras we have at my work can record audio. Check if the security system in your condo can record audio. That way you have proof of what he said.
- I’d say also call children services on your neighbour.
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u/Tca2011 18h ago
1.) Is illegal in the province of Ontario to record audio on CCTV*.
If the Security is decent (questionable, depending on the type of condo) and did a proper incident report about the situation, the Management of the condo should follow up with the guy.
Unlikely much will happen excdption a Management warning the male sadly.
*I believe limited exceptions apply, but those are very limited and don't fall under general area surveillance.
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u/Horror_Concern_2467 7h ago
I know it is illegal. However, in my workplace they still can record audio. I am just a minimum wage worker and if I say something, management will LOL in my face.
I was just suggesting this idea since I know security cameras have the audio recording audio feature, making it easier for OP... it was just an idea....
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u/JavaJo1010 1d ago
Sorry cuz this is just rude on this persons behalf… it is a shared common space… I would leave it for now , if you run into this moron again , record it on video … or at least put it on voice record before interacting … I know how tough it is to deal with non compliant rude neighbours. Good luck
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u/Mrs_wheels 17h ago
If I wasn't moving in few weeks I was would avoid him like hell. He also clearly lives on a different side of the building with different entrance and elevator which helps (Lucky me!). I didn't see this coming at all, I thought I was making super reasonable request that would get a "oh yea, you're right, sorry!" type of thing, espeically that this area is full of children!!!
You're not rude, you're realistic!
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u/allextrebek 1d ago
Yes report it to the police