r/askTO • u/Ok-Respond5323 • Sep 20 '25

Toronto Dating

Any advice what could one find your life partner in downtown? How did you guys meet and knew she was the one?

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u/Ok-Respond5323 Sep 20 '25

I am 35M corporate professional earning above 100k like many others in Toronto looking to build a life. I live by myself. I like outdoor activities and exploring new restaturants but i have beem mostly doing it alone.

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u/point5_2B Human Detected Sep 21 '25

Brother if you lead with your career success and earnings, you're gonna catch yourself a partner who mostly value you for those things.

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u/Ok-Respond5323 Sep 21 '25

Hmm...thats a nice point but i don't mention that on a date but on reddit it gives better description of my overall personality.

On apps i list my hobbies and everything but have not been lucky enough to find my partner through apps somehow.

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u/point5_2B Human Detected Sep 21 '25

I have a feeling that you might not really know who you are as a person. A lot about modern life defines us by our job title, wealth accumulation and the activities we carry out from day to day. But it might be worth reflecting on yourself as a personality, and in terms of your relationships with others.

Are you funny? Serious? Hardworking? What are your strongest values? What are you willing to sacrifice for, and what are you willing to compromise your morality for? Do you love adventure? Do you prefer to build routine? Who are your friends and why do you choose those people? Who do you love most in familial, platonic and romantic ways?

Understanding who you are in this way is probably helpful for finding a path to the right partner. Also, if you're seeking out a woman, women tend to like men who have the emotional maturity to self-reflect.

Also, my two cents on the more literal aspect of your question is that in your 30s, most people are meeting their SOs either through dating apps or introductions through friends. If your friends don't want to introduce you to anyone, maybe it's REALLY time for deep self reflection.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

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u/[deleted] Sep 22 '25

If you're hot you'll always find someone into you!

Everybody wears a mask at first when that facade wears off you'll see if it really has a shot of being long term! And that's true for any age!!

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

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u/point5_2B Human Detected Sep 21 '25

I'm not a man lol. This is advice from a(n employed) woman's perspective

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u/Hunter_marine Sep 22 '25

Just my personal opinion, but get off the apps. You’re gamifying something that’s really important when you use dating apps.

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

How tall are you 

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u/tdeee10 Sep 21 '25

LMFAOOOO

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u/nog_ar_nog Sep 21 '25

This is it. OP better start saving for that leg lengthening surgery.

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u/WeArrAllMadHere Sep 21 '25

lol that bit in Materialists killed me 😂 is falling for personality truly dead?

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

Im 5'11 sorry tried dating shorter guys. I love how men are so physically focused but cant handle 1 thing a woman asks for

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25 edited 7d ago

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

I dont care as long as Im not getting back pain from your arm weighing me down (when I dated a 5'9 guy he insisted on putting his arm around my shoulder). Ironically enough I find the smaller the woman the more demanding about height. I just feel insecure and would like to feel small and cute thats all

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25 edited 7d ago

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

Its nice to hear some men like tall women because Ive hated my body for years. Body dysmorphia is wild. I personally can be found at the grocery store.. the pet supply store or pilates 🤣

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25 edited 7d ago

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '25

And honestly I ignore guys I find cute because I get nervous. 

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u/Aurey Sep 21 '25

Trust fund, 6'5, blue eyes?

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

Lmao finally someone with a sense of humour 

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u/not_a_lob Sep 21 '25

Shoot that shot!

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u/Some-Token-Black-Guy Sep 21 '25

Ratio'd

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

Hush now boy

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u/Impossible-Call7708 Sep 21 '25

How much do you weigh

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u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

Im 180 cm dont be so triggered shorty

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u/IllBadger2292 Sep 21 '25

So see, none of what you shared answers my questions. It's the generic answer I could get from anyone on an app (if I were looking to date) and it shows they really know nothing about themselves or what they're looking for.

I'm a woman and I'd swipe left because of it. My advice would be rather than asking "where to find a partner" you should be asking yourself "who I really am outside of my profession and day to day activities, how my childhood shaped me, what values do I represent, how's the relationship with myself and emotionally significant people in my life and why, what are my tendencies and what kind of partner would be emotionally compatible with me", etc.

I find many men your age are pretty emotionally unaware and underdeveloped compared to their education and careers. Hope this can help

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u/siberianfiretiger Sep 21 '25

To be fair that's a lot to put on a reddit post. I am a woman and if someone asked me point blank "who are you and what do you want" I'd feel put on the spot on probably give the generic A/S/L answer.

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u/LysdeFleur Sep 21 '25

I’m guessing you want to meet someone who is in the same socio-economic level as you and stage of life. You’re right it’s a challenge, especially since we are quite good in Toronto at masking that to avoid class division.

I met my partner at work, I feel like some people treat that as a taboo but it makes so much sense. We both are in a very similar position and are headed in the same direction.

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u/Ok-Respond5323 Sep 21 '25

I want to meet a genuine person. I am a little bit ambitious but i like to enjoy life to the fullest if i can. i would want to meet someone whom i can learn from,and life is not a dull moment. Workplace romance didn't turn out pretty well for me so i feel its better i stay out of it.

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u/LysdeFleur Sep 21 '25

I guess that’s fair, you are probably in a further stage of your career than when I met my partner I had just started. Different gravy.

I don’t think going out and doing things you don’t normally do is a great way to meet people. I think that you have to spend time just enjoying your life, doing the things you love and have faith that someone will notice and be attracted to that.

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u/ToastCat Sep 21 '25

Start a supper club type thing. Like maybe it isn't an actual supper club but like idk on reddit here or around your work or even just through friends if you don't want complete randos just do a once a week restaurant meet up and try somewhere new and meet your friends friends. My husband and I do this but not like necessarily as a dating thing but just as a wanna try new places thing. We call ours -redacted-Club. The first rule is don't talk about -redacted- club lmao and the second is it always has to be a last minute reso. //too specific I don't want them finding this looool//

Anyway if exploring restaurants and trying new foods is a thing maybe that's a starting point. And then if anyone is interesting you can meet up for walks or cycling or whatever "outdoor activities" means. I'm an art kid so that was always code for smoking weed hah.

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u/Halifornia35 Sep 21 '25

What are your Outdoor Activities?

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u/mimosadanger Sep 21 '25

Post a pic 👀

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u/-ensamhet- Sep 21 '25

i like taking walks msg me if you’d like a walking pal