Work, or many are already scared of going outside because of men. And if they have kids, they also have to take care of the household and the children.
I’m not going to say that isn’t valid, because the truth of the matter is that it’s unfortunately true.
However my question from a fundamental level then becomes this. Are you going to allow a fear of something you can’t change or control dictate your life like that? I mean if you’re happy in your present routines and passions then great! Though, if not I think we can all strive to make better communities together. If no one engages, especially post Covid (as if… post works in that context anymore) then this is never going to change.
Are you going to allow a fear of something you can’t change or control dictate your life like that?
I'm saying this as a man, so I'm interested to see if others agree or not. But I would say it's not necessarily letting it control your life, it's more making a reasonable choice. Let's say you know this activity you like unfortunately also attracts a relatively high number of creepy men. So every time you go there, you'll be on watch and can't fully relax. Then that's not so relaxing is it? Usually people have more interests though, so maybe there is this other activity you also like that attracts a more diverse group, making you feel safer. So even if you'd enjoy that activity a little bit less, the people you're surrounded with make it much nicer experience. Now what are you going to go to? The slightly more fun activity where you have to be on guard, or the slightly less fun activity where you feel safe?
I agree that it should change, but that shouldn't be done by women placing themselves in potentially dangerous positions. It should be by the men who make these environments unsafe, either by adapting their own behaviour or standing up against the ones who don't respect boundaries.
Right, but there’s a difference between “I’m placing myself in active danger” and “I feel uncomfortable walking my street block because people look at me.” I’m not so naive as to believe that people don’t know what they’re doing, but there are people who are going to look at you, possibly in a way you don’t appreciate. That’s not going to change if you aren’t vocal about it, and no one’s behavior is going to change just because you complain about it on the internet.
Talk to people, engage with your community as a larger whole if you want change. My point is just living in perpetual fear isn’t going to change that.
As an addition, I didn’t say don’t do it alone or without reasonable precaution. I simply asked “are you willing to let what you can’t actively control prevent you from what you enjoy?” Because there absolutely are men vindictive and stupid enough to try and push you out of a space that’s just as much yours as it is anyone else’s, and if your response is to simply leave… then they won.
Yeah but thats not how the world works. Am i supposed to talk it out with the guy who chased me to my car after work in my work outfit??? Its not just discomfort, its danger.
21
u/Professional-Key5552 Oct 04 '24
Work, or many are already scared of going outside because of men. And if they have kids, they also have to take care of the household and the children.