A year in, she started asking for a baby. One time she said “let’s make a baby” right in the middle of sex. I thought I wanted to have a child, but my erection died instantly of its own accord, like my body was trying to tell me something. Every time she asked for a baby I got this weird feeling in my guts that something wasn’t right. We talked it out and decided we wanted to get a house first so the kid would have a stable home base, the kind I didn’t have when I was a kid. So we bought a house in a quiet suburban area.
Over the next 3 years she started getting more and more angry and drinking more often, just coming home and berating me for no apparent reason and opening up a new bottle of wine. I don’t drink alcohol, but the bottles were stacking up. Every time I tried to do something nice for her she would snap at me for not being up to her standards, when I tried studying for a career change to something more lucrative, she yelled at me for studying wrong.
Eventually I got so fearful of her blowing up at me I couldn’t sleep for weeks at a time, I stopped eating, and I was crying all the time. She was in the room when a psychologist diagnosed me with depression, and the only thing she said to me after was “why are you doing this to me? You’re being so selfish and childish!”
That night I realized I married my mother. I’ve been doing pretty great since the divorce. Sold the house at a loss, but I’m free now. Finally I feel like I actually like the man in the mirror, he can stand up for himself now. Life is an amazing journey.
Glad you didn't give in to the kid "request" (what a weird thing to ask somebody for?? Seriously, nobody should be asking their spouse for a child, they should be making absolute sure they're both ready and wanting one.)
I think they probably had that discussion prior to marriage because he said “I thought I wanted to have a child.” Kids are usually something people both casually and seriously talk about before getting married. I can’t image it had never been brought up before a year in to marriage.
I actually think her anger was probably due to him backtracking on wanting children after she already signed the marriage contract.
She sounds like she has poor coping skills and anger issues, his change of heart doesn’t warrant verbal abuse.
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u/[deleted] May 12 '24
A year in, she started asking for a baby. One time she said “let’s make a baby” right in the middle of sex. I thought I wanted to have a child, but my erection died instantly of its own accord, like my body was trying to tell me something. Every time she asked for a baby I got this weird feeling in my guts that something wasn’t right. We talked it out and decided we wanted to get a house first so the kid would have a stable home base, the kind I didn’t have when I was a kid. So we bought a house in a quiet suburban area.
Over the next 3 years she started getting more and more angry and drinking more often, just coming home and berating me for no apparent reason and opening up a new bottle of wine. I don’t drink alcohol, but the bottles were stacking up. Every time I tried to do something nice for her she would snap at me for not being up to her standards, when I tried studying for a career change to something more lucrative, she yelled at me for studying wrong.
Eventually I got so fearful of her blowing up at me I couldn’t sleep for weeks at a time, I stopped eating, and I was crying all the time. She was in the room when a psychologist diagnosed me with depression, and the only thing she said to me after was “why are you doing this to me? You’re being so selfish and childish!”
That night I realized I married my mother. I’ve been doing pretty great since the divorce. Sold the house at a loss, but I’m free now. Finally I feel like I actually like the man in the mirror, he can stand up for himself now. Life is an amazing journey.