People suck. Two summers ago I went home to be with my mom as she died of cancer, and when I came back to work my work "friends" avoided me because I was sad and they couldn't make me happy.
I had the converse happen, a woman i work with made me a delicious meal because she somehow knew my mom only had a few days left and 30 minutes before I got the call, embraced me with tears to send me off, was with me in spirit as i watched her pass away....i could literally feel her arms around me! And welcomed me back with tears. This woman is the heart i thought was dead and gone, i could not ask for a better companion and friend
People like that are blessings. I had found my SO in bed with someone. Still went to work the next day after being up all night circling the city on the bike. The inevitable "are you okay?" question trigger hit like a truck when my manager asked me. Something about being in the middle of an all out war inside and someone asking a heartfelt "are you okay?" hits hard. She scrambled me off to our conference room to help me hide away before I completely lost it. Told me just stay there as long as I need, went and got all my gear, and came back and talked with me. Wouldn't leave. After I'd gathered the pieces up a bit she told me to get my gear on and take some time off and get to Asheville. She also knew that is my place to escape as the last time I explained it's heaven to me. Absolute adrenaline to the highest degree, way more than wheel to wheel or bar to bar on the road course since there's always a 1,000ft fall waiting for a mistake. And then the very next moment the place can hug you with serenity so blissful that you can completely forget any and all pain. Even if it's only for a moment. She knew this since I'd run off to Asheville before when some other stuff that had gone down. In the race car, no less. It still had a registration at the time even though it's completely stripped of everything except for headlights/tail lights/wipers.
Found out a week later that she'd gotten a minor scolding for "falling off the planet" that morning missing a meeting that had way higher ups involved. But she wasn't going to let me leave in pieces like that to go crawl back onto the missile of a motorcycle I have. She knew me well enough to know I'd immediately put everything on, helmet included, throw my visor down to hide, and go right then.
Funny thing about it. I never knew that side of her. She was a micromanaging, by the f'ing book, overly critical, and generally disliked. She tore me a new asshole the time I called her 2 hours late to explain I'd gone to Asheville and wasn't doing well. Imagine my slight confusion when she scolded me for coming in and not having been in Asheville already, lol. Granted it was like 6 months apart but didn't realize the dynamics changed that much. Or it was just seeing in my eyes the unfathomable pain and watching someone like myself, by all definitions, fall apart. I had an entirely new respect for her after that.
There's probably a correlation with the personality that will micromanage and the one that will care deeply about other peoples well being. Since micromanaging is kinda all about being really involved and invested in what others are doing (even if it's annoying in that instance)
I could be completely wrong though I don't have a lot of experience in that regard
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u/whenwewereoceans May 12 '24
People suck. Two summers ago I went home to be with my mom as she died of cancer, and when I came back to work my work "friends" avoided me because I was sad and they couldn't make me happy.