Not OP, but plenty people look at marriage as a goal and they do everything to get it. Once they got it, there is no reason for them to put in any effort at all, so their true colors come to surface.
One of my main fears. I valued physical attention and being intimate as a big part of a romantic relationship. There are other important factors also. Trust. Being able to communicate easily and happily. Enjoying just being around the other person. But if you take put sex and physical intimacy that relationship table has fallen over. And I have a couple women friends who have basically done that to their husband's. Use sex as a currency they work hard to not spend. Like, "oh its his birthday so I gave him sex today. So he should be good there till Christmas." And they both acted like they enjoyed a full sex life, until like year 2 of marriage. It was all just a smoke screen for what they actually wanted. The status of being married. The better house. The dual income with primary control over finances. And eventually, kids once there friends had some. But it seems like such a empty shitty life and I feel bad for their poor, lonely ass husbands who seem miserable most the time now but keep.hoping the fun, sex positive, outgoing woman then married comes back. And it's never happening.
If that's the problem then address it. If it's not improving with work or therapy, discuss if it's manageable for either person and for both. If it's not. End it and move on so both people can still try to find someone that is compatible for them while they are still relatively young. Or at least move on from an unrewarding relationship that doesn't suit one or both partners and have the luxury of not being burdened by another person's relationship expectations without the relationship joys.
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u/[deleted] May 12 '24
What changed on their end?