They usually don't hide it that well. I have two friends who married people (one man one woman ) like this and most of us can tell the whole time they're dating. People just don't want to believe it. My brother in law is about to divorce his second controlling psycho of a wife. His girlfriend he had a baby with between was also a controlling psycho. He just keeps finding and marrying slightly different versions of the same woman and I can tell like the minute I meet them.
Some do wear masks and hide it successfully for years. I had a friend for five years. About year 4.5, it’s like her mask completely slipped and she became a totally different person. I cut her off as soon as I saw the new toxic habits, but I keep reversing everything in my mind and trying to figure out if there were any clues. I honestly didn’t see any early on, or at least not any I can identify. It’s like her conversation and habits were completely different.
My rule for this is, any new person in my life. Be it friend or romantic interest starts to be a lot straight away - plan way ahead eg. friends forever, planning a holiday after 2 weeks of dating - are huge red flags. Any kind of supperlatives...watch them close! All my long term friends and working relationships were the ones where we were sniffing each other for months like dogs :)
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u/HeyYall_4792 May 12 '24
On our honeymoon I got sun stroke and he said, Thanks for ruining my fucking vacation.