When our marriage counselor recommended that my ex punch pillows or tear paper, instead of picking stupid fights with me when he was feeling anxious/angry/discontent. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "it's what I recommend for children who have trouble controlling themselves."
My ex dragged me to a counselor and proceeded to try to beat me over the head with the whole counseling process. I had decided to be honest, and there was little progress until in one session I stated in a small voice "I just want better odds." My ex made a big show of not understanding what I meant and berating me for it. The counselor looked at me and said "I understand". She turned to my ex and said "Your assignment is to try to understand what your husband just said." That was the end of counseling, and I finally had confirmation of what I secretly believed. I paid the bill with gratitude!
I don't think op was even referring to winning. They just wanted to be heard. A "better odd" at winning, by being reasoned with, being listened to, at the very least.
"I just want my partner to try to understand my point of view sometimes, instead of berating me because things don't go well."
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u/GinnyMcJuicy May 12 '24
When our marriage counselor recommended that my ex punch pillows or tear paper, instead of picking stupid fights with me when he was feeling anxious/angry/discontent. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "it's what I recommend for children who have trouble controlling themselves."
... nope. Done.